Voylaus Schmaistich
From Discworld MUD Wiki
Voylaus Schmaistich is an NPC in Milords & Miladies on Spa Lane in Ankh-Morpork who, in addition to selling premade wedding cakes, can create custom ones upon request. He can be found on the second storey of the building.
Contents
Cake Type
Voylaus Schmaistich says: Okay, I will need to know what type of cake you would like as the base. Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: double chocolate vanilla sponge chocolate lemon rich heavy fruit light fruit carrot apple ordinary sponge strawberry orange
Tier Shape
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: What shape would you like the tiers to be? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: heart-shaped triangular circular oval pentagonal octagonal square
Splitting the Tiers
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: How do you want the tiers split? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: wooden columns metal columns not split edible columns curved stands
Number of Tiers
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: And how many tiers would you like? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: seven three four five six one two
Marzipan Colour
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: What colour marzipan would you like on that? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: chestnut brown bright blue slate grey dark red lilac eggshell blue olive green chartreuse lavender ivory bright yellow apple white dusty red scarlet peach bright orange cobalt blue navy blue fuchsia ochre marbled white dark orange blood red purple plain Genuan green pale yellow sea green silver white forest green pale orange dark blue bronze cream bright green pale green turquoise indigo azure lemon yellow bright red off-white maroon pink bridal white mint green pale blue violet gold Genuan blue dark green burgundy copper none light green terracotta sky-blue black
Icing Colour
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: And what colour icing? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: chestnut brown dark orange navy blue maroon bright yellow pale orange dusty red indigo eggshell blue bright blue off-white purple marbled white apple white blood red white bright orange mint green burgundy peach lemon yellow pale green lavender azure bright green chartreuse sky-blue black Genuan green bright red dark red lilac forest green dark green lavender ochre bridal white terracotta fuschia ivory light green slate grey scarlet cream Genuan blue turquoise violet pink cobalt blue dark blue bronze gold pale yellow sea green copper olive green pale blue silver
Cake Topper
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: What would you like to be at the top? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: bouquet of flowers model house chapel pair of lovebirds carriage witch champagne bottle assassin roses pair of top hats warrior thief top hat and veil priest doves unhappy couple scroll heart bridal bouquet temple none pair of veils church happy couple wizard
Ribbon Colour
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: What colour ribbon would you like? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: chestnut brown dark orange navy blue maroon bright yellow pale orange dusty red indigo eggshell blue bright blue off-white purple marbled white apple white blood red white bright orange mint green burgundy peach lemon yellow pale green lavender azure bright green chartreuse sky-blue black Genuan green bright red dark red lilac forest green dark green lavender ochre bridal white terracotta fuchsia ivory light green slate grey scarlet cream Genuan blue turquoise violet pink cobalt blue dark blue bronze gold pale yellow sea green copper olive green pale blue silver
Other Decoration
Voylaus Schmaistich asks: Would you like any other decoration on the cake? Voylaus shows a list to you. Printed in Morporkian: primroses flowers frills pearls roses lace none
Results
If you select an option in each category and choose multiple tiers, your result will look like this:
This is a <tier>-tier wedding cake made from <base> cake covered with <marzipan colour> marzipan. <ribbon colour> ribbon has been artfully positioned around each of the tiers, tied into a bow on the front. Each <shape> tier is expertly positioned on <splitter type>, with perfect <icing colour> icing running around the edge. Standing on the top of the cake is an impressively modelled <topper>, while exquisite <other decoration>s have been skillfully positioned in an eye-pleasing way over the rest of the cake.
Choosing "none" for any category or choosing a single-tier cake affect the relevant parts of the describe in various ways.
If you choose to have a single-tier cake:
<ribbon colour> ribbon has been artfully positioned around the cake, tied into a bow on the front.
If you choose to have nothing splitting a multi-tier cake:
Each <shape>-shaped tier is expertly positioned directly on top of each other
If you choose to have a single-tier cake with a splitter:
The single <shape> tier stands upon <divider> and is expertly iced with <icing colour> icing around the edge.
If you choose to have a single-tier cake with no splitter:
The single <shape> tier is expertly iced with <icing colour> icing around the edge.
If you choose not to have a topper:
The top of the cake is left bare, the marzipan smoothed perfectly flat
If you choose not to have marzipan:
This is a <tier>-tier wedding cake made from <base> cake covered with <icing colour> icing.
If you choose to have neither marzipan nor a topper:
The top of the cake is left bare, the icing smoothed perfectly flat
If you choose not to add other decorations:
and the rest of the cake is left undecorated giving a pleasantly spartan appearance.
Examples
This is a six-tier wedding cake made from double chocolate cake covered with chestnut brown marzipan. Cream ribbon has been artfully positioned around each of the tiers, tied into a bow on the front. Each circular tier is expertly positioned on curved stands, with perfect cream icing running around the edge. The top of the cake is left bare, the marzipan smoothed perfectly flat, while exquisite pearls have been skillfully positioned in an eye-pleasing way over the rest of the cake.
This is a two-tier wedding cake made from lemon cake covered with marbled white icing. Dark green ribbon has been artfully positioned around each of the tiers, tied into a bow on the front. Each square tier is expertly positioned directly on top of each other, with perfect marbled white icing running around the edge. Standing on the top of the cake is an impressively modelled cluster of roses, and the rest of the cake is left undecorated giving a pleasantly spartan appearance.
