User:Wrathe/Assassin Speedrunners
From Discworld MUD Wiki
New guide on Assassins and for newbie assassins who keep asking for help on the assassins trials/runs
Why assassins
Advantages:
- Quite powerful and covert, sneak attack
- For those who want play style and titles
- Politics
Disadvantages:
- Not recommended for newbie players, lots of requirements and runs limiting
- Not as much newbie chests and player community tends to be small and secretive
- Sub-guild experiences tend to differ a lot
- Politics
Hashishim/Newbies is another link
On the run for AM Guild of Assassins:
- Entrance to the Run in the south-eastern bell tower, and starting it is often considered part of the test
- You only get to do the Run once if you complete it.
- There are a number of different courses for the run, so not every assassin takes the same test
AM Guild of Assassins Cordat
-THE CORDAT- The book of Assassins. This is a volume of great importance to all those who are attempting to learn the art of the Assassin. It holds information concerning specialised weapons, poisons and other information that may not only help you pass "the run", but save your life as well (although this could amount to the same thing). -The Guild of Assassins- The Guild is one of the hardest to succeed in and is hard to get into, and even harder to leave from while still upright. Upon graduation an Assassin should be at home in any company and able to behave like a gentleman or lady of breeding. The Guild has a strict sense of honour and its most important rule is: Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre (no death without payment). Other rules, made by the Guild Master or Mistress, have been written up into a charter, which all Assassins must obey. Those who do not might feel the Guild's terminal displeasure. -The run: Advice for students- The run is something that all Assassins must do in order to graduate from the guild. It may be attempted at any time, but only those who have learnt all that the guild has to teach are likely to succeed. Some extra-curricula training in balancing and vaulting may be needed to safely traverse rooftop routes. In order to begin, you must find your examiner on the roof and ask them if you may do the run. Remember, politeness is the calling card of the Assassin. According to the rules, your examiner is required to ask you three questions. All of the answers can be found in this book, so it is vital that you study it well. Once you have answered the questions correctly you may proceed on the run, it is best to carry as little as possible while taking those things that may be needed to disarm the traps and of course you will need to take a weapon to inhume with. While nothing your examiner does can be considered unfair, they will not kill you directly. Instead they will try to get you to kill yourself. So beware an Assassin's constant enemies: carelessness, poor maintenance of tools, ill-preparedness and over- confidence. There are six different routes that the run takes. The traps vary on each route and are carefully hidden. If you trigger one, the consequences may be dire so you should look everywhere for them. Once a trap has been found it should be examined carefully, in order to discover how to disarm it. If you fall victim to a trap, you should attempt the run again only after you have recovered. -Poisons- Poison is an almost irreplaceable tool, essential to every Assassin. There are quite a number of different poisons available, crushed diamonds used to be quite popular, though their efficacy has yet to be proven. Giant spiders, mustick by ear and mercury have all been used, while arsenic remains a favourite. At the present time, Assassins generally favour three poisons that can be administered by dart: achorion purple, hemlock and bloat. Achorion purple is derived from a mould, Achorion quinckanum, and has the effect of greatly reducing a victim's health, often to the point of death. It is characterised by its rich purple colour and runny, syrup-like consistency. Hemlock is derived from the hemlock plant, Conium maculatum and in certain preparations, attacks the victim's overall constitution. It is a colourless, oily liquid. Bloat is extracted from the deep sea blowfish, Singularis minutia gigantica, which protects itself from enemies by inflating itself to many times its normal size. If taken by humans in sufficient quantities it has the effect of making every cell in the body instantaneously try to swell some two thousand times. This is invariably fatal, and very loud. It is an expensive but effective poison that is highly sought after. It is an oily brown liquid. As well as many poisons being derived from plants and animals, so too are antidotes. For example, spime is an extremely rare antidote to certain snake venoms, and is obtained from the liver of the inflatable mongoose. -Inhuming- Upon successful completion of the run students graduate to become full Assassins. They gain the ability to inhume and to close the precalculated contracts that the guild deems suitable for their ability level. After gaining adequate experience in matters of the guild and a demonstrated aptitude for inhumation, Assassins are entitled to attempt the more difficult contracts restricted to senior Assassins. Three methods of inhumation are approved by the Guild: stabbing, fired and thrown. Stilettoes, elegant stilettoes and poniards can be used for the stabbing method. This method is more powerful but requires more skill, and so is only recommended for the more senior Assassin. Both the crossbow and the blowpipe rely on the Assassin's ability at firing weapons. Fired weapons must be loaded, and light-weight ammunition, such as darts, must contain a deadly poison for a chance of a successful inhumation. In situations where it is not prudent to carry an obvious weapon, one that is disguised as something else might be a wise choice. Kompt de Yoyo sells a variety of musical instruments crafted just for such an occassion. Throwing knives allow an assassin to strike a point on a target with great accuracy from varying ranges and, not surprisingly, rely on the Assassin's ability with thrown weapons. The knives are of differing lengths and range from the small, yet weighty number 5 to the almost cumbersome number 12. Lengths and weights are shown on the next page -Throwing knives (Lengths and Weights)- Length Weight Throwing Distance (fingers) (clams) (feet) Five 4.0 5.0 75 Six 4.5 5.5 60 Seven 5.0 6.0 50 Eight 6.0 8.0 45 Nine 7.0 10.0 40 Ten 7.5 14.0 35 Eleven 9.0 20.0 30 Twelve 10.0 25.0 27
Good books to take out of the library for AM Assassins:
- r1ae01: Advice for the Run, Ed. 1 by Aell
SKILLS The first piece of advice that most graduated Assassins will give you is that you should guildmax all of your skills. For the impatient, looking to merely complete the Run, this means all of your covert and fighting skills, your health and your perception. You may also have heard that you'll need acrobatic skills to get through the Run, however guildmaxing these will not be enough. 50 levels is the suggested amount. Skills can be TM'd in the guild -- climing in the climbing room, acrobatics on the sculpture in the southeast corner of the courtyard, and various other primaries in the training rooms. EQUIPMENT Take with you what you think you will need and ONLY what you think you will need. Unnecessary equipment will weigh you down and could be the difference between passing and failing a skillcheck. In regards to what you need, think about what an Assassin would need for a successful infiltration and inhumation mission, as this is what you are being tested on. Would you need to get through a door? Would you need to close a contract? Will it be dark? Careful planning can be critical. Having said that, should you get to a point and realise you have forgotten something, don't be afraid to backtrack and retrieve it. Trying to advance without the correct equipment can be deadly. PERCEPTION Having started the Run, your perception will be put to the test. Not the perception skill (although that will definitely come in handy) but the perception of you as a player. Have you looked at everything? Have you looked at it again? If that object describes something else have you further examined it? (i.e. if you look at a rock that says "This is a mossy rock", have you looked at the moss too?)
- r1ll01: Pre Run Guide to the Assassins' Guild by Llylia
Advance:
- Advance ad.health to 25 levels
- fighting to 5
- fighting.defence to 10
- fighting.defence.dodge to 75
- fighting.melee to 10
- fighting.melee.dagger to 75
- covert to 5
- covert.stealth to 10
- covert.stealth.outside to 75
- covert.stealth.inside to 75
- covert.stealth.underwater to 50
- covert.item to 10
- covert.item.weapon to 75
Advance covert.points to 75 - this allows you to have the guild points to
backstab.
For the rest we recommend you max all your primary skills to 75. The ones you
have left are:
- covert.hiding.person
- covert.lockpick.doors
- covert.lockpick.traps
- covert.items.poisons
- covert.items.traps
- fighting.range.thrown
- fighting.range.fired
- other.movement.climbing.rock
- other.movement.climbing.rope
Also, make sure you advance fighting.points to 15 and adventuring.points to 25. This
helps to perform activities such as fighting or climbing.
Try to get adventuring.acrobatics.balancing as well as tumbling and vaulting to 25.
General Advice
Go to the run with as little on you as possible. A throwing knife and a
lockpick should do the trick.
Remember, it's easier to climb and balance without shoes or things in your
hands.
On Poisons: (Poison#Poison_creation)
NINJA
A guide to the Ninja of Agatea:
History of the ninja
There are two main theories about how the ninja came into
being, both linked to the samurai of the Empire.
In the first theory, outcasts of society banded together
against the ruling warrior class - the samurai. It is
said that those unwilling to serve the samurai and their
lords fled to remote and mountainous regions of the
Empire. There they banded together, creating villages
and training in the martial arts, espionage, swordplay,
assassination and the art of disguise.
They soon became renowned for their skills and warlords
would hire them to perform missions the samurai were
unwilling to take.
The second theory posits that the ninja were specially
selected samurai trained in the arts of espionage and
assassination.
The ninja of today
Whatever their origins, the ninja of today have found a
special niche in Agatean society. They have formalised
their teaching methods and codified their ideals. They
value honour, amongst themselves most of all, and have
adopted a system where one ninja is elected as Sensei to
create laws which all ninja must obey.
While they primarily focus on assassination, or inhuming,
as it is also known, they are still taught a variety of
other useful skills. They are expected to become masters
of Agatean culture and arts so as to better blend in.
The ninja first became a force for political change in
the Hunghung court where assassination was a part of every
day life in the great political game. Recognising that
even merchants and common citizens have enemies, they have
since branched out to other cities, including Bes Pelargic,
and offer their services to anyone who can afford them.
Ninja officials
There are five ninja officials:
Sensei
The Sensei is a ninja, of the rank jounin, who has been
elected by other ninja to head the organisation. The
Sensei is charged with creating the rules that all ninja
must obey and punishing those ninja that fail to do so.
He or she also has the means to protect ninja from outside
threats by placing vendetta contracts on individuals who
target ninja. The Sensei can appoint Karuma who are ninja
capable of closing these contracts.
Mentors
There are two ninja Mentors - one must be female and the
other male. Mentors are appointed by the Sensei and have
the task of helping the Sensei and assisting ninja and
punishing rule breakers when the Sensei is away.
Avatar
Appointed by the Sensei, the role of Avatar of the Ninja
is an important one. The Avatar should embody everything
a ninja should be. He or she is both a gentle guide and
a disciplinarian. The Avatar may shame ninja who do not
behave appropriately and forgive those who have made
amends.
Poet Laureate
The Poet Laureate is the official poet for the ninja. He
or she is appointed by the Sensei and is given the duties
of writing poetry for official events and approving other
ninja's poetry for inclusion in the library.
The ninja who currently hold these positions can be seen
on a scroll in the entrance to the building.
Ninja staff
Master Yung
A respected elder of the ninja, Master Yung's role is to
teach ninja the skills they will need to advance through
the ranks. He likes to stroll around the building and
is often found relaxing in the lounge.
Tu For Teeh
Skilled in performing the tea ceremony, Tu For Teeh trains
ninja to perform this most complex ritual with due respect
to tradition. She can be found in the tea room.
Nokanko
Nokanko guards the entrance to the building, making sure
that only ninja pass into the rooms beyond it.
Teli
The public face of the ninja, Teli spends her time in the
public inhumation office, greeting visitors and accepting
contracts and donations.
Sec Li
Sec Li watches over the contract scroll in the lounge, it
is to him that ninja go to collect their earnings.
Iki Banu
It is Iki Banu's job to see that willing ninja develop an
appreciation for Agatean crafts such as pottery, flower
arranging, furoshiki and playing musical instruments.
Pretty Fast Heel
Adept at healing, Pretty Fast Heel will heal wounds and
mend broken legs for a small fee. She can be found just
a short distance from the dojo, much to the relief of
those ninja over-confident in their abilities.
Long Nudle
An expert chef, Long Nudle works in the restaurant making
delectable dishes for ninja to consume. His specialty is
a dish made with blowfish, which is deadly if not prepared
correctly.
Grasping Hands
Grasping Hands runs the equipment shop located off the
dojo.
Pan Hing
Pan Hing has duties that are not prudent to mention.
Rhed Taip
Rhed Taip is charged with running the Ru Noperi and seeing
that only ninja who are skilled enough pass into the ranks
of jounin.
Wun Hair Bunn
Stationed in the library, Wun Hair Bunn acts as librarian,
secretary and general busybody. She is the person to see
to collect inhumation belts and headbands.
Ninja ranks
There are three ranks of ninja: genin, chunin and jounin.
All previously untrained ninja start as genin. Genin are
not allowed to inhume or vote and cannot advance beyond
level fifty.
Chunin are able to vote in elections and close specially
selected contracts (on NPCs). Chunin are unable to advance
beyond level one hundred and seventy five. To become a
chunin, a genin must tell Master Yung that he or she is
ready to inhume. The Master will then quiz the ninja to
see if this is true.
A jounin is a ninja of the highest rank. Jounin may close
all contracts listed in the scroll, vote in elections and
become the Avatar, a Mentor or the Sensei. A jounin may
also advance his or her skills to the highest possible
level. To become a jounin, a chunin must pass the Ru
Noperi - a test of skill and a ninja's attention to detail.
Finding the start to the Ru Noperi is its first test.
Advancing
All ninja must advance with the assistance of Master Yung.
Genin and chunin are required to carry out chores in order
to advance. Not only is this a good saving on cleaning
staff, it also demonstrates that there is something to be
learnt even when doing the most menial of tasks.
As ninja advance through the ranks, they are given a title
based on their rank. Ninja who would prefer to be known
by their animal title should tell Master Yung that they
would like to use animal titles. Each animal has some
attribute or skill that a ninja of that level either
embodies or should aspire to.
Facilities and training
The ninja facilities in the headquarters on Silk Lane
are so complete that a ninja need only leave them to close
contracts.
A dormitory with sleeping mats and a communal chest can be
found upstairs. There ninja may store items they wish to
donate to other ninja. Basic bathing facilities can be
found in the vegetable garden.
Meals can be taken in the restaurant on the ground floor
and a relaxing game of chess can be played with others in
the lounge to the south. The secluded garden is ideal for
meditation and the library for quiet contemplation.
There are numerous rooms in which a ninja may practise his
or her skills. Combat may be practised in the dojo and
various artistic skills can be honed in the craft room and
pottery. There are many other training opportunities
available elsewhere for the observant ninja.
Inhuming
Once a ninja has learnt the inhuming technique from Master
Yung, he or she can start closing contracts. Active
contracts are listed on the scroll in the lounge. There
is no need to formally accept a contract, instead a ninja
just needs to find the person and attempt to inhume them.
If successful, payment will be waiting for the ninja upon
their return to the lounge. A percentage of the contract
cost is taken for administrative costs.
Seppuku
If a ninja breaks the rules set by the Sensei to the point
where one of the officials is forced to shame him or her,
the ninja may make amends by performing seppuku.
In this highly ritualised ceremony, held in the secluded
garden, the shamed ninja dons ceremonial garb and commits
suicide with a ceremonial sword. In doing so, he or she
expunges his or her shame and is once again considered to
be an honourable ninja. This ceremony must be witnessed
by Master Yung.
NINJA POISON DIARY:
I, Ishko Mendae, Noble Dragon, have started
this diary as a record of my experimentations
with poisons. I hope that one day my work
will be of use to other ninja.
Poisonous plants that may have pote
Angel's trumpet - grows as shrub/
may have use as hallucinogen?
deadly nightshade - small plant wi
purple flowers and berries, may
weakness?
lotus flowers - found growing in/n
water, renowned to cause languor a
forgetfulness
lilies - some varieties reputed to be
dangerous
borage, certain moulds/fungi?
hemlock - tall with yellow stem and white
flowers, found wild in plains around
foreign city of Ankh-Morpork
Venomous/poisonous animals:
spiders and snakes have venom
blowfish is dangerous to touch
be deadly to eat, but if prep
properly, is safe. This must mea
the toxic part of it can be extracte
I must learn how to do this!
some toads and frogs from the strange
lands beyond the Wall are said to be
quite toxic
Possible solvents:
water
alcohol - would rice wine work?
oil
acid - different types might wor
different plants
alkalis - soda ash?
Monday 27th June Prime, 1990
I have decided to investigate the
of the angel's trumpet flower.
long been known to be dangerous,
bizarre visions and sensations. I
they have much potential as a halluc
agent.
Wednesday 29th June Prime, 1990
I've had little success with the groun
trumpet flower dissolved in acid, but wat
shows some promise.
Thursday 30th June Prime, 1990
Water was the key; a strange milky grey
liquid resulted from this marriage, but the
effects were quite disappointing. Attempts
to concentrate this mixture proved pointless.
I wonder if some other substance is needed
to fully realise the potential of this
plant.
Octeday 4th Grune Prime, 1990
I confess; I am vexed! I have yet to find
the key to unlocking the angel's trumpet - I
may yet revisit it.
Wednesday 12th Ember Prime, 1990
I spent some months as an apprentice of famed
chef Yun Chan. Under him, I learnt how to
safely extract the poison sac of the deadly
blowfish, and how to properly season pork.
Saturday 15th Ember Prime, 1990
It seems that drying and grinding the sac
was not the best idea I have ever had.
Wednesday 28th Ember Prime, 1990
I recently acquired some rare scorpion sacs
from the dangerous ghost-infested lands
outside the Wall. I was advised to press the
sacs, and this process produced a small
quantity of pale red liquid.
I was told that this would strengthen any
poison I added it to, but it had little effect
on the angel's trumpet solution and did not
help with the extraction of the blowfish
poison. I have decided to seek vengeance on
the dishonourable trader who sold me the
sacs!
Saturday 1st Ick Prime, 1990
The cursed merchant esc d me! But not all
is lost, as I realised the same method
of extracting the essen the scorpion
should work for the sac he blowfish,
also.
I will work on a better mechanism for
press g tomorrow.
Monda h Ick Prime, 1990
The pr s worked! I was able to extract 4
ounces f pale brown liquid from o sac!!
I tested a small amo t of this li id on a
a rat. Its body ex ed quite alarmingly,
and it appeared to n some discomfort
but it did not die. will experiment with
ways of strengthening this poison.
Sunday 26th Ick Prime, 1990
Success!!! I have made a highly effective
fo lowfish poison! The key was to
down the pale brown quid by
it! This produced ily brown
proved quite effic nt at
ex the target's body to several times
its natural size. This sed the rat to
explode quite messily a ver this diary,
as a matter of fact!
Thursday 1st February Secundus, 1990
I recently went to a cousin's wedding and
many firecrackers were set off in
celebration. This made me ponder the use of
the explosive nitrate mixture in some sort
of device - perhaps to spread other poisons
in gaseous form?
Friday 18th February Secundus, 1990
My brother the scholar! I owe much to this
man. He begged me to see his new collection
of books and scrolls. Amongst them I found
a fable about a far off land where the fruit
of the lotus could make strangers forget
their native land.
I intend to investigate this at some time.
Could a plant cause forgetfulness as it is
described? And what use is that to a ninja?
Octeday 18th June Secundus, 1990
Serendipity is the mother of all great
discoveries! I was working on the mixture
from the firecrackers when a serving girl
brought my afternoon tea into my lab!
Such a stupid girl! What right-minded man
would eat where he prepares all manner of
poisons? I have lectured all my staff on
this! I yelled at her, determined to drum
in this important lesson, but she startled,
spilling the tray she carried all over my
workbench.
I was furious! Hours of work ruined. The
girl could see the anger in my eyes and
wisely fled. It was then that I noticed
that the firecracker mixture was smoking
furiously. I could barely see a thing.
I stumbled out of the lab and managed to
learn from the girl, when she had finally
calmed down, that the tray contained my
usual cup of orange pekoe tea. But it also
held some new season plums and a bowl of
sugar as they were still quite tart. Sugar!
Such a sweet answer.
Wednesday 7th Grune Secundus, 1990
I have spoken to a ninja friend of mine who
excels at pottery. I'm afraid that I've
not managed more than an ugly pot. She
believes that she can create a hollow ball
thin enough to break easily but strong
Saturday 18th Grune Secundus, 1990
I swear, as soon as a man sits himself down
to work, all manner of chaos erupts!
I had just started examining some toad skins
that I was able to purchase, when my old
gardener comes to me, begging for several
hundred rhinu to replace my wife's peonies.
Peonies! I remained calm, pointing out that
the plants were only new, and why should
they need to be replaced? They were all
struggling, as though weakened, he said.
Now, I know the man is getting on in years,
but he happens to be an excellent gardener
so they could not be dying due to lack of
care. I asked him what caused this, and he
told me that it's the geraniums.
Somehow, some leaves had got in the water
barrel used to collect rain and tainted it.
I gave the poor man the money, just to shut
him up, but it got me thinking.
The geraniums could not be harmful to people
as the gardener himself drinks from that
barrel.
But plants...
What use is that to a ninja? It is unlikely
we would be hired to poison a crop!
Friday 10th August Secundus, 1990
Both blue and white lotus, when ground are
soluble in water. These produce a deep blue
and a pale creamy liquid, respectively.
It is diffi ty to test the effects of
'teas' as t are surprisingly few people
willing to v nteer. Perhaps a student
ninja, who has misbehaved?
Wednesday 24th August Se ndus, 1990
It is surprising what yo g men will do if
you dare them! But at l st I have found
that the lotus teas need something else
before they will become effective poisons.
Wednesday 9th Spune Secundus, 1990
I have decided that I must explore further
afield. If I am ever to become a master
poison maker, I must examine other plants
grown in foreign lands. I know it is the
position of the Empire, that nothing exists
beyond the wall apart from vampire ghost
infested lands, but I am not convinced.
There have been tales for years about brave,
or foolish, men and women daring to escape
the Imperial Guard to explore the wider
world. Some have come back, some have not.
But those that did are said to have told of
strange lands not, as we are warned, full
of evil ghosts, but people and cities.
The very trader that I purchased the useless
scorpion sacs from, claimed to have got them
from a far off desert land.
I will make inquiries, discreet ones, about
a voyage on the morrow.
Tuesday 16th Spune Secundus, 1990
Well, it is all settled. I leave for what
lies beyond the Wall in a week. The price
Captain Sing is charging me is exorbitant,
but he came highly recommended.
My wife is well used to me spending some
time away from home on missions, but I fear
I will be gone for a very long time, this
trip. No doubt she will take up a lover,
as she always does, while I am absent.
Octeday 30th Spune Secundus, 1990
Well here I am, nearly a week into my ocean
voyage. I must admit some trepidation
as we journey further m everything I have
ever known, and closer o unfamiliar lands.
All m er of storms have rocked our vessel,
terri winds, hail, raindrops the size of
rocks, nd deafening thunder. To pass the
time the sailors have been tellin tales
of the wonderous creatures that there.
Short men h long beards and a dness
for gold, all things. Rocky monsters
that turn stone when the sun shines upon
them, and men and women that turn into dogs!
I wonder how much, if any, of this is true.
Thursday 3rd Sektober Secundus, 1990
It is fortunate that I brought a selection
of poison materials with me on this voyage,
I fear that a man could quickly go mad with
nought to do but look at the unceasing
blueness of the sea.
Friday 12th Sektober Secundus, 1990
endless blue ocean
light glistening atop waves
cold wind, salty spray
Octeday 23rd Sektober Secundus, 1990
I had a much needed distraction yesterday!
The captain had warned that as we neared
foreign trade routes, we may come across
pirates who wanted to steal our cargo, it
seems that he was correct. A ship pulled
alongside us in the dead of night, grabbed
the hull with vicious hooks on rope, and
we were besieged and out-numbered!
I raced from my quarters to find a full
battle between our men and the pirates.
I quickly joined the fray, dispatching one
foreign devil with my katana and another
with my wakizashi. One pirate, a monster
of a man who stood three heads above me,
came at me with a spiked club. He managed
to disarm me and I was forced to defend
myself with the martial arts. He was much
stronger than I, but I was quicker. I soon
had him at a disadvantage and kicked him
overboard. At this point I saw Captain Sing
in peril, so I quickly loaded my blowpipe
and fired a bloat-covered dart into his
assailant's neck. I feel that this was the
turning point in the battle. Once the
pirates saw his body expand and then explode
from the internal pressure, they seemed to
lose the will to fight!
They quickly fled to their ship, leaving
their dead and dying behind. We did not
escape unscathed, I'm afraid. Two sailors
were killed and another badly injured. I
was also devastated to discover that my
poisons kit had been ruined. Fortunately,
this diary was safely stowed in my pocket.
Octeday 1st Ember Secundus, 1990
Land at last! I have arrived in a place
called Ankh-Morpork. It is good to be on
solid land once more. The smell of this
place! If I could bottle the air itself and
condense it into a stronger form, I feel it
would make a very effective poison!
I realise now that the sailors were not
making it up; there are indeed small men
with beards and rocky monsters (although
I have not seen them turn to stone). I have
yet to see a man turn into a dog!
Wednesday 4th Ember Secundus, 1990
My first f days here have been fruitful.
It seems this city has an organisation
similar t ninja, called the Guild of
Assassins s able to bribe a servant
there to some books on poisons.
It seems captain was correct; these
Morporki em to value useless gold
quite a b able to purchase almost
anything for a few small coins!
The langu is proving to be a much
bigger prob so far I am getting by
with much s uage and I am picking up
a few words and there.
Thursday 13th Ember Secundus, 1990
I have spent some time researching the
hemlock plant, which grows wild in the area
around Ankh-Morpork. It is a tall herb,
with a pale yellow stem, small white flowers
and a strange odour. The variety that grows
along rivers looks somewhat like another
culinary herb they have here, they call
parsley.
The books cquired suggest that when mixed
with sn , a potent poison is created
that cau eral feeling of illness and
making ormally good constitution
more vul o illness and other sorts
of poi
There d to be many deadly snakes
in or aro y, so perhaps another
area of t has such reptiles.
I have care ected some seeds and
roots of t , as I hope to grow it.
Tuesday 4th December Secundus, 1990
Today I had a meeting with one of the city's
alchemists. These are a strange group of
people. It seems they spend much of their
time trying to turn lead into gold! Why
would anyone want to turn lead, which at
least has some uses in metalwork, into gold
that is so soft it has little use??
Ignoring this basic insanity, I followed him
to his guild house (which seemed to be in
the middl of construction) where he showed
me all m of substances. Some I knew
such a and alkalis, and the nitrate
and su ixture used in firecrackers.
Other s s and powders were a complete
myster ncluding something called
'batsu d a very unpleasant smell,
and som hat he was quite excited
about: ye tion. This acidic
solutio properties, including
having so f energy and effect on
magical obj en used in certain
preparation
Tuesday 13th Ick Secundus, 1990
I have spent the last few weeks in the city
of Djelibeybi and its surrounding desert
regions. It is a most inhospitable place,
with little rain and tiring, dry hot days.
The nights in the desert are cold, too,
bitterly cold. But I found some varieties
of deadly snakes and scorpions, and I have
collected poison sacs from them to study
in greater detail once I am home. It seems
I was a bit hasty when I dismissed the
scorpion sacs I purchased as useless.
Friday 16th Ick Secundus, 1990
There seems to be little else of use here
in terms of poison making, although when I
made discreet inquiries on the topic, I was
given a pipe to smoke. Since I had seen
those around me puff away without apparent
harm, I took a few breaths. An odd feeling
came over me, and everything seemed
remarkably humorous. It didn't seem to do
me any harm, but I was left awfully hungry.
I don't believe this hasheesh, as they
called it, would be much use to me.
Friday 24th Ick Secundus, 1990
I have returned to Ankh-Morpork and now have
a good collection of toad skins and scorpion,
snake and spider sacs. The spiders! I will
have nightmares about those for years to
come! I journeyed into a place the locals
called Gloomy Forest. An apt name!
It was infested with spiders as wide as a
woman is tall. They came at me, attacking
en masse. They were quick, and one bit me
before I knew what was happening. I thought
I was dead, the venom coursing through me
making me violently sick. But I tried to
remember my training and concentrate on the
fight at hand. I managed to kill the three
that attacked me, and from their corpses I
cut out the source of their poison.
Fortunately, I recovered and have no
long-term ill effects.
I have also collected a variety of plants
that show promise. I've gathered both dried
specimens and live samples and seeds. I
hope to introduce the most promising ones to
my home soils... Ah, home! How I miss it.
It would be nice to walk down a street
without fear of being mugged (that fear is
much reduced when you are a ninja, I admit).
And I long to see an actual reflection in a
a river rather than a corpse lying atop it.
Friday 1st Offle Prime, 1991
I have just witnessed an interesting
tradition in this part of the Disc. It was
called Hogswatch and it is celebrated on the
first day of Offle Prime. It seems to
involve much feasting and the exchange of
gifts. My alchemist friend, Dave Mudgins,
invited me to his family's Hogswatch dinner.
We had an acceptable meal of roasted pork
with a selection of root vegetables and
greens, but it did not compare to Agatean
cuisine.
After the feast came the exchange of gifts.
I was pleased to find that Dave gave me a
collection of jars filled with some of the
powders and solutions I found to be of
interest. I was uncertain what would be a
suitable gift for this celebration, so I
gave him, and everyone there, a bag full of
gold. They seem most pleased with this.
However, they soon started arguing amongst
themselves, but Dave assured me that this
happened every year, so I assume it is some
part of this strange Hogswatch tradition.
Wednesday 7th Offle Prime, 1991
Home! I am going home after months spent in
this strange foreign land. I do not regret
this time, though. I have learnt much to
further my craft, and I have gathered plants
and materials unavailable at home. With
these, I hope to improve and strengthen some
of the poisons I have made a start on.
At last I feel I have all the components
needed to realise the potential of the lotus
flower. I will start brewing this poison
as soon as I get home, and may even test it
on my wife's beau.
This diary has served me well, but seems to
have suffered as a result of my experiments.
I must write out my research and findings
properly, one day.
