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kimo wearing her scaly minidress and raspberry pink stompyboots, her arm crossed over her tentacle, low key doing a side eye

hi it me

hello! i am a returnee to the disc but a newbie to wiki editing. thank you in advance for your patience, help, advice, and following me about with a dustbin! i am an unarmed tentacle-using npk ninja hemi-demi-semi-humanoid and creator of the Shonkers club for item collectors/hoarders. i am also hebley the witch, kuzum the hattian priestess, and courgette the thief, bonzolina the fool, animosity the sekkite, and petrichor the pishite. as kimo i currently have the honour of holding the female mentor position among the ninja.

for my notes on unarmed, please click here

tentacle stuff

up at the top so nobody has to hunt for the juicy stuff: people ask me about the tentacle a lot! it is a pretty good conversation piece if not the best combat item in game. it's pretty gross but i enjoy it. the wiki page for it is pretty complete but for the record:

  • it is a symbiote and thus can't be fumbled or stolen when equipped nor does it add burden (low upkeep). it turns some of my punches into tentacle slaps and bashes (slimy ones!), doesn't require a permit cause it isn't a weapon (low upkeep!), and transmits unarmed damage to me automagically (high upkeep). it comes with a secret grappling bonus boost (low upkeep!) and no secret specials that we know of. it falls off and you have to rehold it (high upkeep but tolerable with triggers). if you cut it off or die holding it it has to be soaked a while (high upkeep). you can't equip it over or under gloves or hand armour and you can't use two :( :( :( rip kimo's dual tentacle wielding dreams. one gets jealous and slaps the other one out of your hand onto the floor... high upkeep. i also do not actually have the skills yet to take full advantage of it despite being in the 400+ bonus range on striking and tactics, hence:
  • i do not recommend it to actual new-to-the-disc newbies besides the fact that it's a high-skill item, if you're not a seasoned alt-maker, it's really expensive! i was semi-newbish when i got mine but i had been playing kimo for some months and knew that this alt was committed to unarmed. the value of sailing items and ambergris has stabilised, but the tentacle is a low demand item and you may or may not be able to resell it without at least some loss, which may be up to a k or so in any currency.
    • so it's not very accessible, and it's also undeniably extremely weird. and you will get gently or not-so-gently trolled for using one. all that said, if it seems cool or fun for you, with the assumption you've already gotten to a point where you feel kinda committed to unarmed, or you just really want one? definitely save up and get it (or get oldbies to help you fund one but don't tell them i told you that). i can confirm that it is indeed cool and fun. and expensive and weird. all true things.
  • if you do have one, a way to keep track of it is setting up a trigger highlighting the drop phrase "The black flesh withdraws rapidly down your arm and contracts back into a squirming black tentacle", also sending "hold your damn tentacle!" to command. (more specifically, the trigger looks for "*withdraws rapidly down your arm*" because i have an additional trigger highlighting the deluded name of my tentacle, so i can spot it easily in my inventory. (also pls don't ask me about triggers or aliases i don't know what i'm doing))
  • also also also: DO NOT try to use a tentacle with anything other than the normal humanoid number of two (2) arms! use while missing an arm or using magic wizzie arms is buggy :( :( :( rip kimo's 3 or 4 tentacle wielding dreams.

currently working on/to do list/pipe dreams

  • unarmed guide here
  • stayin alive stayin alive ah ah ah ah (almost at 28 days) 28 days later achieved march 21 2021
  • fighting.special.unarmed
  • more striking
  • more tactics... always more tactics...
  • strap gloves, clompy boots, dusters
  • options combat tactics focus head ?? so far so good
  • advancing covert
  • advancing guild level to get lion paws djelian warrior champion achieved april 13 2021
  • some kind of ridiculous heavy weapon some day in the far flung future
  • chatelaine belts
  • netsuke/inro somebody made them and they are BEAUTIFUL omg
  • happy monkey teeshirts
  • numberchasing on hebley
    • heavy sword!!!!
    • better bugshields
    • get deluding
  • a fool alt in progress fool alt Bonzolina
  • a travelling punt and tootie cart
  • i started a pishite? we'll see how that goes

kimo's fav nicknames and aliases

  • alias nosteal [handy steal-breaking alias for nonthieves in ankh-morpork: advanced anti-heavying tech]

nosteal: alias steal nope;alias shoplift nope $*$

  • alias gosteal

gosteal: unalias steal;unalias shoplift $*$

  • alias hh [health check that skips unwounded players/npcs]

hh: health wounded all

  • nickname stuff

Nickname stuff expands to things except kept things&money&club badges&strips&furniture&needles&spools [i also throw in some of my deluded things i'm paranoid about losing. my witch version includes yarrow and cubes and a few other components. including furniture is for if you have or are allowed in a phouse and prevents you from trying to get literally everything in the room]

  • alias fenceget

fenceget: unbag at most 10 stuff $*$ [unbag being "get $*$ from bag" derp i forget that one is even an alias]

  • alias fnce

fnce: fence $*$ to fence [don't forget you can nod to fences to respond nonverbally]

  • nickname dc

Nickname dc expands to damaged clothing 1 [for mending- get damaged things (or stuff) from bag, whatever your sewing alias is, mend dc repeatedly until all is fixed]

  • alias cond

cond: condition damaged things $*$

  • nickname wallet

Nickname wallet expands to [black lacquer box] in velvet bag.

  • alias smokie (can give you stealth tms & other people perception tms! then you fall over and wibble!)

smokie: palm weed [black velvet pouch, identified as weed] from [moonlit market garter]belt;palm papers from weed;tear paper from book;put book in weed;palm 1 pinch of hasheesh from weed;slip weed to belt;roll cigarette using paper and some hasheesh;light cig[arette (yet another nickname)];smoke cig $*$

combat aliases!

arg:target is your friend. for combat use arg:target and you can just hit "fk" and feint/kick one of the npcs you're fighting, or you can enter "fk nobleman" to specify which one you want to target. for bandaging and rits use arg:me and you will automatically target yourself unless you specify otherwise. important note: this is literally the only thing i know about aliases. don't ask me about aliases. i don't know the answers. ask on igame.

  • feint/face kick: fk
alias fk nosoul feint $arg:target$;nosoul kick $arg:target$ in the face
  • trip/face kick: trk
alias trk nosoul trip $arg:target$; nosoul kick $arg:target$ in the face
  • shove/facekick: sk
alias sk nosoul shove $arg:target$;nosoul kick $arg:target$ in the face
  • stomach kick: ks
alias ks nosoul kick $arg:target$ in the stomach
  • shin kick (for brats only): ksh
alias ksh nosoul kick $arg:target$ in the shins
  • kidney punch: pk (lolol)
alias pk nosoul punch $arg:target$ in the kidneys
  • solar plexus punch: ps
alias ps nosoul punch $arg:target$ in the solar plexus
  • feint/face punch: fp
alias fp nosoul feint $arg:target$;nosoul punch $arg:target$ in the face
  • extensive kill all alias: ka
alias ka kill all except killers&mommet&shopkeepers&cats&cartographer&hags&bats&wizards&priests&clouds&summons&pets&camels&pure white birds&tomtom&palms&trees&luggages&dragons&kang wu&shopkeepers&stallowners&cobblers&ryattenoki&every fireflies&moths&lights&tneduts&phos-phor&lap-lip&oliver&guard thieves&carpetsmith&lip-phon&mihk&fences&ptyler&shifty-looking man&no go wan&ptarquet&pkara&hattian guards&goldenblossom&bessie&pennie&minions&chickens&goats&calves&skeleton warriors&priestesses&priests&pickpockets&players&trolls&real estate receptionist&paperboys&papergirls&golems 

combat settings aliases for quickly changing tactics and focus

  • alias tac (tactics settings quick look)
alias tac options combat tactics
  • alias ins
alias ins options combat tactics attitude = insane
  • alias off
alias off options combat tactics attitude = offensive
  • alias neu
alias neu options combat tactics attitude = neutral
  • alias def
alias def options combat tactics attitude = defensive
  • alias wimp
alias wimp options combat tactics attitude = wimp
  • alias fac (target head)
alias fac options combat tactics focus = head
  • alias ub (target upper body)
alias ub options combat tactics focus = upper body

a few weird rearranges

kimo, ninja

Constitution ... 8        Strength ....... 17-1       
Dexterity ...... 14+1       Wisdom ......... 15 (2) [charged prayer beads, pretty much always equipped]   
Intelligence ... 13       

this is not an optimal unarmed rearrange! but an optimal unarmed rearrange would leave pretty big holes in most of the other things i'm also interested in, and i like having high strength because i like wearing a lot of crap. i don't use swords (yet), but this would be a good rearrange for a ninja that would like to make use of both melee primaries- the sword bonus is a few points higher than striking. update/note: i've run a crap ton of numbers and am currently engaged in an Experiment. stats will now record retro progress.

hebley, witch

Constitution ... 8        Strength ....... 19       
Dexterity ...... 10       Wisdom ......... 13       
Intelligence ... 15 

this is a fun one because somehow she still gets 4 gp regen despite clearly being a pretty mediocre magic rearrange. good for heavy sword or axe with polearm following close behind, good blocking, decent parry, dodge (and defensive magic) will be painful but tactics will not. i think i was going for tank witch? the regen rate also allows for strength gauntlets.

kimo's notes on unarmed

now located here

every darn tattoo including the one with the typo...

Looking at yourself again? What a narcissist!

You see Well Travelled Kimo Kawaii the Hidden Serpent.

She is a horrible little monster.

This alleged adult human is about the size and shape of a child with elongated limbs. Her eyes are large and rather far apart, her black hair has a green shine to it, and her little mouth opens impossibly wide and is full of pointy little teeth. The overall effect is that of an imp or a goblin with long eyelashes. She often travels with a tentacle. Sometimes it wears a bow.

She is slightly hurt.

She is sitting on a bench.

Her back has Happy Monkey slaying a demon and a curtain of falling chrysanthemums tattooed on it.

Her right cheek and her left cheek have a cute pink dot tattooed on them.

Her navel has a nautilus shell tattooed on it.

Her right knuckles have KIMOCHI tattooed on them.

Her head has the questions to all the answers tattooed on it.

Her left knuckles have WARUI tattooed on them.

Her throat, her left palm and her right palm have a squid-like eye tattooed on them.

Her neck has chyrsanthemums dissolving into mist tattooed on it.

Her left hand and her right hand have blooming coral tattooed on them.

Her left ankle has a twined centipede anklet tattooed on it.

Her left leg, her left thigh, her right leg, her right kneecap, her left kneecap and her right thigh have blossoms sinking into deep water tattooed on them.

Her right ankle has a knotted hagfish anklet tattooed on it.

Her left hip, her right hip, her lower back, her right buttock, her abdomen and her left buttock have crashing ocean waves tattooed on them.

Her left foot and her right foot have things swimming in the deeps tattooed on them.

The skin around her right eye and the skin around her left eye have striking vermilion eyeliner tattooed on them.

Her forehead has a chrysanthemum blossom tattooed on it.

The small of her back, her left arm, her right arm and her chest have chrysanthemums falling into waves tattooed on them.

Her left breast, her right breast, her left shoulder and her right shoulder have falling chrysanthemums tattooed on them.

Her left wrist and her right wrist have shifting seafoam tattooed on them.

A mysterious opal stone floats around her head.

Her features have been artfully enhanced with ice white eyeshadow, a touch of shiny silver blusher and a dash of jet lipstick.

She has a withered bunch of rain-daisies neatly braided into her hair.

Her skin looks like it has been powdered with chalk, although the face seems not to be covered.

Her right arm has been replaced with a huge black tentacle.

Holding : a set of prayer beads (left hand).

Wearing : a pair of mirrored sunglasses, a moonstone ring, Gleaming Scale, a glittery sequin, a black gold ring and a club badge.

Carrying: a lilac silk chemise, a pair of white fishnet stockings, Scaly Minidress, a pair of raspberry pink stompyboots, a black velvet bag, a breath-taking pink and black suspender belt, a summer's night coat and a sheer black silk scarf. Her purse is tinkling with coins.

...and the aftermath, with thanks to Beasteater

This is the almost unrecognisable remains of a skin severed from the corpse of a human.
It seems to have been pickled.
It has a Happy Monkey slaying a demon, a KIMOCHI, a WARUI, a chrysanthemum blossom, a curtain of falling chrysanthemums, two cute pink dots, a knotted hagfish anklet, a nautilus shell, three squid-like eyes, a twined centipede anklet, two blooming corals, six blossoms sinking into deep waters, four chrysanthemums falling into wavesses, a chyrsanthemums dissolving into mist, six crashing ocean wavesses, four falling chrysanthemumses, two shifting seafoams, two striking vermilion eyeliners, a the questions to all the answers and two things swimming in the deepses tattooed on it.
A wooden escutcheon with a pair of hooks that are capable of holding just about anything to put it on the wall.
On the plaque is mounted a seadrift green tanned human skin:
This is the competently tanned skin of Kimo Kawaii.  It has been expertly dyed seadrift green.

bonzolina, brindisi, and commedia dell'ankh

commedia dell'ankh derives from the fabulae parvulae of the morporkian empire which in turn has roots in pre-morporkian tradition. despite its clear origins in ancient ankh, commedia dell'ankh today is performed almost exclusively in brindisi and neighboring countries.

  • zucchero - the clever servant or slave. occasionally an antihero or rake. often paired with:
  • turpentine - the young lady, usually a daughter, ward, or servant of:
  • canottiere - the old man, usually villainous. often a merchant or bureaucrat appointed to some inconsequential office.
  • nipote - lit. "nephew", a young nobleman. despite his name he is usually a prodigal son or knight errant. he is usually comically inept, but may occasionally be a serious rival to zucchero for the love of turpentine.
  • camicetta - the lady of a certain age. may occasionally take the place of canottiere, and/or romantically pursue any of the abovementioned characters.
  • punto and smussato - translating to "point" and "blunt", a crafty lower management type and a country rube who offer humorous commentary, comedic interludes, and generally get in the way of the plot. may aid (or be manipulated by) zucchero or canottiere (or camicetta), or both, or work entirely at cross-purposes from one another. may occasionally find themselves accidental heroes. their characterisations may also be swapped, with smussato playing a dull city slicker and punto as the farmer with hidden street smarts or brute strength, but only in the mountainous farming province of lungo vuoto (1).
  • DEATH - the straight man, and never far away. provides realistic commentary and stoic counterpoint to the colourful histrionics of the rest of the art form. may take the side of the virtuous party if there is one: otherwise may accompany punto and smussato to form a sort of ephebian chorus, though he usually goes unheard by the other characters.

punt and tootie, a bawdy puppet show still perfomed across morporkian-speaking nations, retains archetypes and routines (known in commedia dellankh as laffi and in punt as putter) from commedia dell'ankh. tootie carries characteristics from turpentine, while punt is generally agreed to be a consolidation of punto and smussato. DEATH, though now a puppet, is essentially unchanged. the putter of today is largely more scripted and less logical than laffi. certain laffi survive almost unaltered, such as The Cabbage Eater, DEATH's Kitten, and Who's On First.

(1) the vuotine people are indeed known for their hardiness and quick wit. main exports of the region are moss, lichen, and anything else that can be bullied, bribed, or beaten into growing on bare rock, including goats, which is historically controversial as they threaten the moss and lichen industries. the local troll population could not be reached for comment, having been forced to move to the other end of the lungo vuoto mountains several hundred years ago to avoid being constantly chased about with rakes, watering cans, and goats. dwarves never settled the mountain chain, correctly judging its contents to be worthless.