Sokkard

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Sokkard is an npc who wanders around Ankh-Morpork, occasionally chatting on the talker (generally on (Two)).

He will occasionally tell fictional stories about players:

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Clear out your ears! Time to find out who's been doing what to whom!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Turn your talker up, turn it up loud!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I am, as many of you will know, fresh in from Lancre, so these are stories I have recently heard. Let the story begin!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: My tale begins on a snowy night last week when the Directors were on their daily visit to The Clinic.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Pay attention, Caminus, this may be about you!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Well, I am told that naBOO and Khorval were seen together inciting a riot by wearing blue knickers and playing hunt the thimble with the cast of Snuff! - The Click.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The former goosed the latter, and it all went downhill from there. Pretty soon even the Leader of Liaison noticed and the whole she-bang was reported to the Patrician and then covered in tar and feathers.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Anyway, I'd better let you get back to your adventures. Please drop by again soon, and hear another story that's been completely fabricated.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Oh, and while I think of it, Persephone and Linus were to blame.

He will also, if prompted by mentioning "Barry" in his presence, tell the story of Barry the Cornflake. Killing him in the middle of this is the Achievement: Cereal Killer achievement.

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Kastlp has asked me to perform 'Barry the cornflake!'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Feel free to type 'ignore sokkard', you may be pleasantly surprised!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Once upon a time there was a big vat of cornflakes...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And Barry the cornflake is in the vat.

Finally, shortly after Offler announces a reboot, he'll offer to sing a song (often with other npcs joining in). If nobody responds with a request, he'll just pick one.

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hmmm, Offler-goodness.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Right! Now what shall I sing? Something from Areyem, M C Mallet, Newbie King, Lynched Liam, The Hamlet Persons, Orphans Impovision Workshop, The Boggles, Patricienne, Lappet Faced Worriers, Mellow Yellow Wahooni Fruits or Enim Rac?

Lyrics for Sokkard's reboot songs can be found here.

Sokkard's talker is his socks.