Quest:Ramtops quests

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Ramtops quests

"Abuser of Bugs", in which you pestered a pest persistently. (Quest level 6)

Discworld quest page for Abuser of Bugs

Skills: 211 adventuring.perception bonus
Skills: 181 or less covert.manipulation.sleight-of-hand bonus
When in the Ramtops, in certain rooms you may see odd chats.  If so, "search" and if you find the bug and can hang onto it, "abuse" it.  You'll need to do this six times.  Locations include Blackglass, Brass Neck, Listening Monks, Slice, Bad Ass, Creel Springs, in the Soyin's Temple, Mad Wolf, Razorback, Slice, Sprite Caverns, Mad Stoat and the Bandit Camp.
After you abuse the bug it flies off, and respawns in a random location (sometimes even the same as where you found it).  The bug appears to always spawn in specific rooms within the locations, with some locations having several.

Bad Ass
*A village lane in Bad Ass [e,n,ne].
*A quiet village lane in Bad Ass [n,se,e,s,w,sw].
*A quiet village lane in Bad Ass [e,sw,ne]. (west of utensils shop)
*entrance to an orchard [e,s].
*A quiet village lane in Bad Ass [n,s,e,w].
*A quiet village lane in Bad Ass [n,s,e].

Bandit Camp

Blackglass
*Percy Hopcroft's apple orchard [ne].
*A dim forest near Inkcap mountain [n,s].
*A bend in a market road in Blackglass [n,e].
*A corner in the main road in Blackglass [s,ne].
*A road outside a strange shop in Blackglass [s,e,sw].
*A forest path near a creek crossing [w,se].
*A bend in the main road in Blackglass [n,sw,nw].
*A path on the outskirts of the Blackglass farmlands [n,s].
*The southwest end of Blackglass main road [w,ne].
*A narrow strip of open land near Blackglass [n,s].

Brass Neck
*trail through Leaping Mountain [north, southwest] (first room when entering from the south).
*A dead end [s]. (north of inn)
*A road outside of Brass Neck [e,sw]. (two west of marketplace)
*A path outside a cottage [w,se]

Creel Springs
*most western room
*path from Creel Springs [e, w] (easternmost room)
*Creel Springs village lane [n,ne,se]
*The path from Creel Springs [e,w]. (westernmost of these)

Mad Stoat
*A village road [n,e,w,sw].

Mad Wolf
*Where a cobblestone path intersects with a worn dirt road, at the door to a cottage with the tastelessly decorated door
*A dense forest trail [e,sw].
*A dense forest trail [w,ne].
*A road through Mad Wolf [n,s].
*A road through Mad Wolf [s,w,se].
*A road through Mad Wolf [n,s,e,w].

Razorback
*In the pasture near a gate [w,e,n,ne]. (southwest corner)
*In the pasture near a gate [w,n,se,nw]. (southeast corner)
*The northeast end of Razorback [ne,sw].
*Somewhere in the pasture [s,e,n,ne,se].

Slice
*Road to Slice [e,sw]
*At the east end of the village, where the walls of the mountains close in abruptly (between the farm and the well kept cottage).
*A path near a gorge [sw].
*Heart of Slice [n,s,w,ne,se].

Sprite Caverns
*The top of a ledge [ne].

Temple of the Listening Monks
*The western end of the temple's garden [n,e,w,ne,nw].

Temple of Soyin
*Outside the Temple of Soyin the Wandering God [n,s].

The chats the bug makes when hiding in the room:
  There is a tiny clicking noise from somewhere in the area.
  You hear a faint buzz, but can't see what's making the noise.
  There is a little flash of movement just out of sight, as if something's hiding here.
  You almost catch sight of something scuttling around in the shadows, but when you blink it's gone.
  You catch a slight scuttling motion out of the corner of your eye.  Something's hidden here, you're sure of it.

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"Stone Donor", in which you put two rocks together. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Stone Donor

Go to the land of Giants, and sneak past or kill them (hard!), and find the hidden cave in the middle of the three giant groups.  Get the key from the brigand leader's corpse after you kill him, search, and use the key to open the chest.  Get the ruby from the chest and give it to the giant leader.  You'll then have free passage through Giant Land!

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"Womble's Friend", in which you paid respect to an old friend. (Quest level 1)

Discworld quest page for Womble's Friend

On the road between Ohulan-Cutash and the Gloomy Forest, there is a room with something shiny visible between the rocks (from the bridge, head w, w, sw, w, w, sw, w, w, w, w, w, w). Polish the brooch then head up to enter the newbie area museum. Inside, head to the hints room and search to get a brooch, then head back to the main area and pin the brooch on the womble to get the quest (Note: When leaving the museum, you will be placed near the road on the opposite side of the Gloomy Forest).

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Gloomy Forest quests

"Wheeler Dealer", in which you fixed a wheel and secured a deal. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Wheeler Dealer

Skills: 56 crafts.carpentry bonus
Items: 1 crown, or a few dollars
Just outside the west entrance to Gloomy Forest is a broken down cart with a merchant. Get the wheel and take it to either the Thieves' Guild Launder room or the wood repair yard in Lancre Town. Repair the wheel until looking at it no longer mentions broken spokes. Take the wheel back to the west entrance of Gloomy and give the wheel to the merchant. He will then give you 50 crowns.

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Bandit Camp quests

"Barbarian Hero", in which you rescued a damsel in distress. (Quest level 5)

Discworld quest page for Barbarian Hero

Enter the Bandit leaders cave, protect the beatiful female captive and kill all the bandits. Tell her to follow you and take her to the merchants guild on Baker St. in AM (you have to walk).

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"Bird Brain", in which you found a giant eagle's feather. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Bird Brain

You must dress up in a ridiculous looking chicken costume from Fred's Emporium on Endless Street in AM. "Climb cliff" one west from the leader's tent, and keep going "up" When you come to an eagle's nest "pluck feather from eagle" IMMEDIATELY or with an alias accompanying the previous command, "grab pink thingie" of the eagle. If this isn't done quick enough you will land on spikes otherwise you will land on a path.

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"Catchy Rescuer", in which you freed the ensnared from a net threat. (Quest level 3)

Discworld quest page for Catchy Rescuer

Two south of the main entrance to the bandit camp there is a hidden exit to the west. Make sure you have a knife/dagger and have a friend go first until (s)he get's caught in a net trap. Cut your friend free with the knife.

If you wait too long in the net, bandits will come and, apparently, autokill you.

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"Cess Pit Swimmer", in which you should have looked before leaping. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Cess Pit Swimmer

Two south of the main entrance to the bandit camp there is an exit to the east. Go one east and search for a trap. Disarm the trap and continue to the end of the path. Climb wall (you need about 25 levels of climbing).

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"Fire Cleaner", in which you learnt to use a simple tool for a simple purpose. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Fire Cleaner

Bring a shovel to the bandit camp and scrape ashes in the campfire.

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"Tree Hugger", in which you went out on a limb to gain entry. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Tree Hugger

Outside the entrance, go west, then northwest and northwest, but NOT north yet or you'll need someone to free you (Catchy Rescuer quest). Disarm the trap. (Note: Trying to disarm the trap can get you caught in the net trap, so have someone on hand to avoid spending too long in the trap and being killed.) Then go north. Climb the tree, then up, then climb along branches. ad.movement.climbing.tree at 231 bonus statted works for the climb (but 206 worked with only one wobble).

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Druid Circle quests

"Honourary Druid", in which you helped upgrade an aging megalithic circle. (Quest level 6)

Discworld quest page for Honourary Druid

Go to the druid area on the southeastern side of the forest.  Watch out for spiders on the way.  "search stones" in the outer circle until you find the entrance to the underground area.  Go down, then east and tell the clerk you want to join the Druids, and he'll give you three of the following tasks:

1) Gathering a secret herb of unusual luminance that you'll find by searching the plants in the south west corner of the outer circle.

2) The watered blood of a slaughtered innocent that takes more effort. Get a bottle and go to the centre of the Druid circle during a full moon. Wait until the sacrifice starts and when you see the blood running down the aqueduct run round to the exit point of the aqueduct in the south west corner of the outer circle and 'fill bottle with water'.  The bottle should end up with "diluted blood" in it, not "red water"--if it's "red water", you tried at the wrong time.

3) Some moss that has to be collected at full moon with a sickle or other sharp object, around the circle. Syntax would be "scrape moss with dagger". 

4) Ash of an unrepentant sinner. This is one I didn't have to do, I can confirm however that ash can be found by searching the fire in the clearing in the north west corner of the circle. 

5) Finally a very nice chunk of diamond. This is a white gem pebble and can be found in the quarry on the east side of the circle. You need to 'mine walls with <item>' or 'mine vein with <item>'. Try a pickaxe. The hard part is that you can only find it if the light level is high enough. The quarry if examined will reveal that this is when the sun is directly overhead.  This requires some skill in crafts.mining.gem--a bonus of 175 is enough, and a bonus of 145 seems to have partial success (some success with some failed attempts). (Note that you only seem to get one opportunity to try it per midday--if you fail, subsequent attempts on the same day will only result in mining normal rocks.)

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"Unwelcome Hero", in which you jumped to conclusions and ruined someone's day. (Quest level 3)

Discworld quest page for Unwelcome Hero

Type 'search stones' while you move around the outer circle of the Druid's Circle until you find an entrance. Go to the storage room and open crates with a 'crowbar' (broomsticks work too, as do pickaxes). Search crates for 'wirecutters'.Go to the centre of the druid circle and wait for the ceremony to begin. It's usually damn cold, so you might want to have something warm. 'Syntax Cut' Cut the wires when the little boy is tied. Archdruid will attack you. Fight. Win. Cut the wires again to set the boy free. Quest completed.
Things needed: 1 crowbar or similar

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Lancre quests

Bad Ass quests

"Basketcase", in which you delivered the goods. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Basketcase

Skills: 160 or less other.movement.climbing.tree bonus OR 100 or less covert.manipulation.sleight-of-hand bonus
Find Mrs Smith in the house attached to the forge in Bad Ass.  Ask her about Granny Weatherwax and she will send you on a quest for various items. 
The first item is always a small green apple.  If using sleight-of-hand, go to the bedroom on the second floor and 'open window' then 'grab apple from tree'. For tree climbing go to the east room of the orchard which is north of the forge. 'climb tree' and then 'get apple'. The tree will cause damage to you if you fail the skill check.
The next two items you will be required to collect are random and could be any of the following:
Wood: Obtain an axe, the general store often sells them. Look at trees around Bad Ass until the trees mention chopping them down. Once you locate them, hold the axe and 'chop tree with axe' until you have wood.
Granny's Mail: Go to the general store and ask Martha Headlock about Granny's mail.
Hat: Go to the sewing store and ask about Granny's hat.
Peach Preserve: Inside the house connected to the forge, go upstairs and look at the ceiling. Go up through the trap door and ask Jud Smith for peach preserve for Granny.
Sausage: Enter the south east most house in the village through the east door. Once inside 'search utensils' to find the sausage.
Egg: One west from the forge entrance, go southeast into a room containing a nest box. Searching the box results in an egg.
Wool: One west of the forge entrance, go south and ask Mrs Shepston about wool for Granny.

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"Knotscape Navigator", in which you hacked some trees for later browsing. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Knotscape Navigator

Skills: >153 ad.direction bonus?
Items: A guide book from the Bad Ass general store
Items: A knife

During summer or autumn: Go to the Bad Ass smithy and say "help" while Gordo Smith is there, then "yes".  Follow Kev when he shows up.  "judge" the distance to the town when he tells you to, and use the book to carve the appropriate symbols on the trees.

During winter or spring: Go back to the smithy and say something about "marking grooves" to Gordo Smith, then say "yes".  Drink the beer he gives you, and you'll wake up outside of town in the forest.  "feel trees" to translate the grooves on the trees, then "head  <dir> for <number> miles" in the indicated direction and distance to attempt to get back to the village.  There is some randomness involved in the skillcheck, so you might have to try several times.

The relevant information from the guide is reproduced below:

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Blackglass quests

Brass Neck quests

"Bad Sport", in which you found a way to cheat at wholesome games. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Bad Sport

In autumn, get a chestnut from one of the rooms along the northern road, west along the Brass Neck market. Get a piece of string from the misc stall and 'pierce' the chestnut with a piercing weapon, then 'thread chestnut with string'. This will result in a conker. After this, you must go into the pantry of Annie Spindlewits and get the wine bottle off of the shelf. Scrape the mould on the wall with a dagger and put it in the wine bottle, turning the liquid inside into vinegar. Soak the conker in the bottle and give the resulting hardened conker to the saddened child wandering around the town.

Note that the quest cannot be completed outside of autumn.

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"Go-Between", in which you showed your true colour. (Quest level 5)

Discworld quest page for Go-Between

Items: 25 crowns (be exact, Annie doesn't recognise other coins)
Go to Annie Spindlewits and say 'Granville wants the statue.'  Give her the money and she will give you a statue. Then, statue in hand go to the general store and give the statue to Granville. Granville will give you 50 crowns for it and your alignment will be shifted closer to evil.  Alternatively, you can give Annie the full 50 crowns and your alignment will be shifted closer to good.

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"Patron Of The Arts", in which you mixed it up a little. (Quest level 5)

Discworld quest page for Patron Of The Arts

Items: A hammer (used to PULVERISE the stones, rocks, and pebbles into powder) and 1-3 bottles of linseed oil (can be bought in the stall in town)
Items: Red rocks (north of the inn), yellow stones (on the south path into town), blue pebbles (Annie Spindlewits' garden)
Items: 1-3 eggs (shelf in Annie's pantry)
Items: Water (Annie's well), bottles are available in the scullery basket or bin
Offer to help Virgo Vango in Brass Neck and he will give you a colour of paint which he desires.  Next, create each primary colour of paint in the bowl in Virgo's back room.  Required syntaxes are:
clean bowl
break egg into bowl
mix red powder into bowl
mix oil into bowl
mix water in bottle into bowl
Repeat the above steps for the yellow and blue powder, as needed to create your colour.  Each bottle should have 3 doses of paint which can be mixed into the new shade, using "mix red paint in paint bottle into bowl".  No colour will require more than three doses of each primary colour. The rules for colour mixing are straightforward: red + blue makes purple, red + yellow makes orange, yellow + blue makes green, red + blue + yellow makes brown.  1 dose of each colour is a "pale" shade and 3 doses of each colour is a "dark" shade.  2 doses is just the regular colour.  If the colour desired is a mixed colour (green-brown), then you need brown (red + blue + yellow) plus green (blue + yellow), meaning you need 1 red + 2 blue + 2 yellow.  Greenish-brown would be more brown then green, hence double the brown aspect (2 red + 2 blue + 2 yellow) before adding the green (1 blue + 1 yellow) for a total of (2 red + 3 blue + 3 yellow).  If one part of the colour is "ish", there's less of that colour than the second part of the colour.  If there's no "ish", the two parts are equal.
There's some colours that mix different ratios of all three colours (1 red + 2  blue + 3 yellow, etc), such as gold, copper, bronze, turquoise, violet, and magenta.  For those, look at the most prevalant colour (red for magenta) and use three parts of that.  Then look at the second most prevalant colour (blue for magenta, because magenta is purplish) and use two parts of that.  Use one part of the remaining colour.  When you have created the right colour, 'scoop paint from bowl'. Give the desired shade to Virgo Vango.

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Creel Springs quests

"Matefinder", in which you helped a pair in a gender non-specific way. (Quest level 3)

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"Naval Astronomer", in which you helped a star rise to its rightful place. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Naval Astronomer

Skills: other.movement.swimming bonus sufficient for your burdening
Swim to the bottom of the pool located in Creel Springs then 'enter cave'. From the cave, go west and 'search rocks'. Make sure to get the starfish as it does not automatically go into your carried inventory. Exit the pool and go to the room outside the bathing shoppe. Once outside, 'hang starfish on nail' to complete.

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Lancre Town quests

"Bumpkin Brawler", in which you spilt one pint too many. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Bumpkin Brawler

Go to the pub in Lancre Town, go upstairs and 'swing on chandelier' (Cutting the rope it's hanging on may also work.) This will drop you into the bar and start a fight with a big yokel and a random number of other yokels. Killing the big yokel will result in the quest being complete. Leaving the room to heal or shield is fine and will not change the outcome of the quest. Note that you can't leave the room by the door after they start fighting you, but you can go up the stairs.

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"Demon Squeezer", in which you forced an answer out of a grumpy imp. (Quest level 5)

Discworld quest page for Demon Squeezer

Friends: 3 participants total
Skills: Player A: magic.methods.spiritual.summoning, .abjuring, and .conjuring
Skills: Player B: magic.methods.spiritual.summoning, magic.spells.special, and magic.methods.mental.convoking
Skills: Player C: magic.methods.spiritual.summoning, magic.methods.physical.binding, and .evoking
Items: copper stick (see Rodent Aviation Expert in Mad Stoat)
Items: soap flakes (see Soap Groper in Mad Stoat)
Items: scrubbing brush and washboard (search the copper in the scullary of Granny's house in Bad Ass)
Items: washing soda (scrape the lump off the shelf in Granny's scullary)
Go to Nanny Ogg's wash house in Lancre Town, and do the following in order:
Player A: Light the fire and wave the copper stick.  Say "We conjure and abjure thee by means of this sharp and terrible copper stick".
Player B: After getting a message that you should do something, scatter the flakes, pour the soda, and say "See how we scatter rather old washing soda and some extremely hard soap flakes in thy honour".
Player C: Bang the brush against the washboard, then say "And I invoke and bind thee with the balding scrubbing brush of Art and the washboard of Protection".

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"Expectant Client", in which you performed the usual service. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Expectant Client

Go to the forge in Lancre Town and 'say Nanny needs you to baby-sit for our Pewsey' to Jason Ogg (Simply saying 'nanny pewsey' would suffice.) After he complains, 'say no' and then wait. Once DEATH arrives, 'shoe horse' and then wait until he decides he is done with the biscuits, not that you could move if you wanted to.

Note: It must be YOU that sends Jason Ogg away. If you have a friend do so because of language barriers between you and Jason, the command "shoe horse" will not work, though Death does arrive.

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"Faithful Flitch", in which you convinced the world you were faithful. (Quest level 3)

Discworld quest page for Faithful Flitch

Skills: 101 other.culture.lancrasian bonus
While married to only one player, go to the room just south of the market pentangle, with no north exit. 'convince council' will start an interrogation, every question must be answered with a 'no'.

Convincing the council, and answering the questions, requires gp (apparently around 10-20 for each question).  Attempting the quest without enough gp (presumably of the people variety) results in losing all but one hitpoint and becoming slightly drunk.

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"Unicorn Tamer", in which you pacified an elven intruder. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Unicorn Tamer

After having completed the Expectant Client quest, go to Granny's cottage in Bad Ass. Search the rug and it will mention a human hair. Pluck the hair from the rug. Hair in hand, go to the signposted junction between Bad Ass, Mad Stoat, and the customs troll's bridge. The clearing is a few north of here, but you have to walk east around the Lancre Gorge to get there. The minute you get into this room, a very brutal unicorn will attack you be prepared and 'lasso unicorn with noose'. While in this room, 'search pool' to recover a silver horseshoe. Horseshoe in hand, begin to 'lead' the unicorn to the forge in Lancre Town. DO NOT LEAD THE UNICORN SOUTH INTO THE RIVER! You will lose the unicorn and have to wait for it to respawn. Instead, go east from the clearing, taking you to the road and bypassing the river. Once in the forge 'shoe unicorn with silver horseshoe'.

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Mad Stoat quests

"Rodent Aviation Expert", in which you bounced a mouse around a house. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Rodent Aviation Expert

Items: cheese (from the cupboard in the kitchen in the Stylish Thief house)
Items: a knife
Go to the witch's cottage on the east end of town.  Cut the cheese in half, put 1 slice on the table, "rock" the chair, and put 1 slice on the spring.  This will give knock down the copper stick used in Demon Squeezer (Lancre Town).

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"Soap Groper", in which you picked up the soap. (Quest level 1)

Discworld quest page for Soap Groper

Items: a knife
Go to the witch's cottage on the east end of town.  Go to the kitchen and "pull" the chain in the basin, then hold the knife and "scrape" the flakes in the basin.  This will give you soap used in the Demon Squeezer quest (Lancre Town).

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"Stylish Thief", in which you stole items from the thieves' treasure trove. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Stylish Thief

Skills: 191 covert.manipulation.stealing bonus(non-thief). Different for thief? (please confirm)
Skills: 100 adventuring.perception bonus
Skills: 150 covert.lockpick.doors bonus
Go to the dark house on the southwest edge of town.  In the entry, "move rug" and go down.  The rogues will attack any non-thieves over guild level 25, and prevent non-thieves from going down.  Go down again, possibly needing "sneak", and more rogues will say hi. Go to the dark alcove and search.  If you can see a hole, lockpick lock.  If you fail, you'll take a little damage.  When you succeed, you'll end up in another room, where you can "steal daggers".  You'll lose a lot of hp if you fail, but not enough to die if you're healed up.  If you succeed, you get two thieves' daggers.

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"Well Fisher", in which you gave a desperate frog much needed release. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Well Fisher

Skills: 175 or less other.movement.climbing.rope bonus
Skills: 150 or less covert.manipulation.sleight-of-hand bonus
Items: a hammer, or the copper stick from Rodent Aviation Expert (note: a custom wizard's staff worked too, maybe any sufficiently heavy weapon)
Go to the house from Stylish Thief and go upstairs.  Break the mirror with a hammer and get the key.  Go to the burnt shop on the short street just before the witch's cottage.  Go into the shop with the key, then go east and lift the loose floorboard.  Get the box from the hole, open it, and get the doll.  Go to the pond at the northwest end of town, and give the doll to Maggie.  Get the net, and go to the well near the centre of town.  "crank" the winch (make sure the bucket is down) and climb the rope to descend into the well, and "fish" for the frog with the net.  Climb back out and go back to the pond, then release the frog.

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Mad Wolf quests

"Hunter's Friend", in which you showed a hunter the errors of his ways. (Quest level 5)

Discworld quest page for Hunter's Friend

Skills: 55 or less crafts.hunting.trapping (as of 9/2018 I found it impossible to deactivate the trap with less than 100 bonus - Kemolian (talk))
Items: healing tea
Go to the hidden clearing south from the forest trail in town.  Disarm the trap and go to Sven's cottage on the northeast side of town, and give him the dog.  "Push" through the brush on the main road through the village to get to the hidden eastern path and follow it until you reach a cottage.  "Get" the cobweb, then go into the kitchen and "get" the fungus.  "Soak" the fungus in the tea, then "attach" the cobwebs to the fungus and give the healing salve to Sven.

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"Sheep Saviour", in which you fleeced a baaad robber. (Quest level 6)

Discworld quest page for Sheep Saviour

Skills: 158 crafts.hunting.tracking bonus
Go to Madeline's house and get Florian's shirt from the cupboard.  Don't wear it.  Next, go into the kitchen and try to get the honey.  Now that you're nice and sticky, go to the shed and roll around in the fleece.  Then go to the paddock and wait around for a while.  When the wolf shows up and grabs a sheep, go east, then "investigate" his tracks to follow him another 4 rooms.  Kill the wolf (bring tea), and go down.  Flossie the sheep will follow you when she smells the shirt, so lead her back to the paddock.

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Razorback quests

"Bull Ring Breeding Expert", in which you helped love pierce the heart and nose. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Bull Ring Breeding Expert

Go to the barn in the northwest area of town, and into the barn.  Upstairs, get a bail of hay, go downstairs and put it in the trough, then get/pull the ring from from the bull's nose.  Go to Heinie's shed west of the pasture and say 'nose ring', and give it to him when he asks where to get one.  Lead him to the milkmaid in the dairy nearby.

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"Cheesy Goat Charmer", in which you lured it and stirred it. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Cheesy Goat Charmer

Skills: Some troll-killing ability
Search Heinie's cot near the pasture on the northwest edge of town, and spray yourself with the aftershave.  Go to the bridge, then go down.  Once the goat gets a whiff and starts following you, go up the path after killing the troll (the troll is not initially hostile).  Lead the goat to the dairy, and search objects twice in the storeroom to get the bucket and cheesecloth, and get the paddle from the churn. Go back to the first room of the dairy, and search the shelves to get the ripener (inside a small waxed paper packet).  Sit on the stool, drop the bucket, and milk the goat into it until she runs dry.  Get the bucket and pour the milk into the barrel (not the butter churn!) and add the ripener from the wax packet.  Stir the barrel with the paddle until curds form, then get the curds and wrap them in the cheesecloth.  Unwrap the cloth to get the cheese.

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Slice quests

"Little Piggy", in which you discovered a new definition of posh. (Quest level 1)

Discworld quest page for Little Piggy

Go to Muckloe's house on the eastern end of town and count Old Mucloe's toes.  Then go to Goodwife Muckloe in the pigsty across the street, and tell her how many toes he has. Make sure to spell the toes - fifeteen, twelve, etc.

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"Pig Physician", in which you helped create a healing oinkment. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Pig Physician

Go to the pigsty on the east end of town.  When one pig is looking ill, say something about the sick pig to the Goodwife there, and she'll send you to Millie.  Ask Millie about the pig cure and she'll send you after four of the following items (three ingredients and one stirring utensil):
*Comfrey: "gather" it in the garden and grind it.
*Crystal ladle: available in a general shop near the Weapon Master's Court on Vagabond Street in AM.
*Ivy seeds: from the roof of Granny's house near Bad Ass.
*Yarrow: "gather" it in the garden and grind it.
*Peanuts: See the Ray of Sunshine quest, OR from the brown islands T-Ferry.
*Honey: In the garden, open the hive and get a honeycomb from it.  Inside, get a bottle from the shelf and "shake" the honey into it, then get the honey from the bottle.
*Powdered frog: from the apothecary in AM near Apothecary Gardens.
*Rosemary: "gather" it in Agnes Nitt's cottage.
*Paddle: see the Cheesy Goat Charmer quest in Razorback for paddle location.
*Copper stick: see Rodent Aviation Expert quest in Mad Stoat.
*Silver fork: Silver shop in Djelibeybi.
Give the ingredients to Millie and give the resulting concoction to Goodwife Muckloe when there's a sick pig in the room with her.  You can also make the the concoction before Goodwife Muckloe asks you to help her, and give it to her later.

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"Ray Of Sunshine", in which you brought light to a despairing nut. (Quest level 3)

Discworld quest page for Ray Of Sunshine

Items: a shovel
Items: two light sources, at least one of which is a torch
Buy a rope from the climbing shop and tie it to the spike at the northern dead end in town.  Climb down and dig in rockfall with the shovel, then go southwest and light the torch to "illuminate" the bush.  You'll get peanuts after a bit, which can be used in the Pig Physician quest.

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Slippery Hollow quests

"Hollow Hero", in which you solved the mystery of Slippery Hollow. (Quest level 8)

Discworld quest page for Hollow Hero


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"Hollow Recruit", in which you joined the fight to save Slippery Hollow. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Hollow Recruit

Skills: 101+ bonus in crafts.medicine.treatment.injury
Items: 12 Shillings

Go to the mansion in Slippery Hollow, and find Irkabod Stork in the study. Tell him "I want to help" (or "I wish to aid in the investigation"), then "yes", then say "checking in". He'll send you to buy the 3 different local guidebooks (red, brown and blue), which are sold by Agnetha Phedre in a house near the entrance to Slippery Hollow for 4 shillings each.
Return to Irkabod and say "checking in", and give him each book as he asks for them. Say "checking in" again, and he'll ask you to get another book for him (the title is Lancre's Forbidden History).

Now you'll have to complete the library puzzle. You're looking for "Lancre's Forbidden History", and you'll be able to use "Harrmorton's Illustrated Arsenal" as a reference.
You need to 'Seek "Harrmorton's Illustrated Arsenal"' and make note of the letter it gives you - it'll correspond to either the first, middle or last letter of one of the three words. You'll then need to 'seek "Lancre's Forbidden History" under _' where _ is the letter that corresponds to that position. For example, if "Harrmorton's Illustrated Arsenal" was found under A, you'd need to seek "Lancre's Forbidden History" under H.

There are 3 steps to the library minigame which must be completed in order. The first step's letter uses the book's name, the second step's letter uses the description, and the third step's letter uses some words on the first page.

For reference:
"Harrmorton's Illustrated Arsenal" is a "humongous foxed black" book with "For Neville Cloplaw" written on the first page.
"Lancre's Forbidden History" is a "weighty smeared brown" book with "Mysteriis Diabolica Perquor" written on the first page.

Once you complete the 3 steps, there will be a cutscene. Wait, and you'll be returned to Irkabod. Say "checking in" again, and then once more when he's done speaking. He'll send you to see Doctor Lancreman, who is in a house between the mansion and the main crossroads of Slippery Hollow. Head into the back room, where the corpse is.

You'll have to examine the various parts of the corpse, searching for the important clues. They can be found by examining the: angle, surface, tearing, crust and clots.

Once the corpse is examined, read the note. It'll tell you to create <opacity> <colour> chemical.

Colour:
red+blue -> purple
red+yellow -> orange
yellow+blue -> green

Opacity:
clear+cloudy -> misty
clear+opaque -> swirly
cloudy+opaque -> translucent

The chemicals are mixed using:
mix <texture1> <colour1> and <texture2> <colour2> chemicals.

You'll then need to examine the left hand. This is where the crafts.medicine.treatment.injury check is required.

Finally, there is a piece of paper stuck in the right hand. You'll need to "manipulate" the correct sequence of fingers to open the whole hand. Each finger/thumb has it's own configuration of fingers that also move when you manipulate it. The easiest way to pass this minigame is to write down which fingers affect which other fingers and you should be able to solve it within a few moves.

When you complete the minigame, you will need to sit through another cutscene. When it's over, you can go back to the mansion and say "checking in" to Irkabod Stork for a final time to complete the quest.

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Listening Monks quests

"Artistic Renovator", in which you completed the circle with an eye for detail. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Artistic Renovator

Go to the anteroom of the Listening Monk's Temple and 'search papers' to get a tube of sticky glue.  Then go to the shop and 'search boxes' to get a box with four tiles in it. Each tile belongs to a different mosaic within the temple. Walk the main corridor of the temple looking at the mosaics in each room, matching the tiles to the ones with missing bits. The syntax is 'stick tile to mosaic with tube'. In order from the entrance of the temple:
Round and black, resembles pupil - Mosaic of Blind Io
Almost black, 2x4 sides - Mosaic of overgrown temple, 2x4 side tiles
Octarine colour - Mosaic of the rimfall
Sand coloured tile - Mosaic of pyramids of the Necropolis

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"Blade Listener", in which you passed a dangerous trial of perception. (Quest level 1)

Discworld quest page for Blade Listener

Items: monk habit, broom (supposedly) or broomstick (confirmed). For further joy, bring a lockpick and know the pick command.

In the down room off the main corridor is a quiet monk guarding a hallway of blades. If you stick around, you might notice other monks showing them a broom and being allowed down the hall without the accompanying screams and blood. Wear your monk habit and "show broom to monk". When you get through the hall to the final room the quest will be awarded. A lockpick will help you reap your reward.

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"Earitating Student", in which you had lessons in a subtle art. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Earitating Student

Go to the novice dorms in the Temple of the Listening Monks and ask Brother Harken about becoming a novice (you'll have to whisper, he doesn't like too much noise). Next, search the beds to find a coral ear horn - if it's not there, there may be one in stock in the temple shop. Once you have it, go into the garden two rooms south and listen to the grass with the horn. After that, go to a small passage on the west side, south from the entrance to the library - where there is a paint bucket. Paint the wall and then listen to the paint with the horn. Next, go to the library and research shillings, sixpences, and thruppences to find out what sounds they make. Remember these noises. Finally, go back to Brother Harken and give him a shilling, a sixpence, and a thruppence. He will flip one of the coins. Depending on those noise, you can whisper to him the coin he flipped, and then guess if it was heads or tails. An example answer would be 'sixpence, heads'. If you get it wrong then he'll send you back to the library to research some more, and when you feel prepared you can come back and try again.

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"Preserver Of Peace", in which you kept the volume down. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Preserver Of Peace

Skills: between 113-130 cr.ma.ne to succeed
Go to the north most room of the hotel on the east side of Lancre Town to find Brother Turbil. Mention the word 'assist' to him and he will give you a pair of holey overshoes. Go to the south house in Listeners' Valley and 'search basket'. Do this until you find a Zhu Ming Duck-Egg Blue thread or they are too tangled. The thread spawns randomly and may require more than one trip. Once you have this, mend the shoes using a needle. In order to mend, 'hold needle', 'thread needle with blue thread', and 'mend overshoes with needle'. If your skill is not sufficient, you may need to find multiple threads and mend it repeatedly until it is in excellent condition. The ritual mend will NOT work for this quest. Once the shoes are repaired, continue onto the Temple of Listening Monks and on the top step of the entrance you will find a silent or worried novice. Give him the mended overshoes and you will receive the quest.

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Ohulan-Cutash quests

"Friend of Tourists", in which you helped a tourist get ready for his vacation. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Friend of Tourists

Go to the house with the big dog (in Skund Forest). You'll have to do Dog Pal first, or kill the dog. Search the cookie jar in the kitchen to get a key. Go down to the basement, move the boxes and go through the door. Say 'twoflower misses you' and 'follow me', and lead the Luggage to Ohulan-Cutash. It won't follow through portals. Go upstairs in the Fiddler's Riddle Inn and enter the left room. Twoflower will give you his camera for returning the Luggage to him.

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Temple of Soyin quests

"Blade Forger", in which you returned a holy artifact to its place of origin. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Blade Forger

Skills: 102 crafts.smithing.black.weapons bonus
Items: A smith's hammer (I managed to do this with the hammer in my backpack accidentally so don't think you really need this for this quest, only Weapon Forger) (No hammer needed)
Items: 2 lancre crowns

Go to the locked cottage in Mad Stoat that isn't a playerhouse (no plaque/number) and get in either with the key from a jolly woman living nearby (Say you need the key, say you will help her), or by picking the lock.  Get the ivory handle from the table.
Go to the Shepston house in Bad Ass (via the back door) and get the metal stick from a drawer.
Go to the forge in Bad Ass and "forge" the items to make a blade.

The Blade of Soyin thus forged is a different weapon then the Holy Blade of Soyin which can be acquired from the T-shop. Unfortunately, you cannot forge another Blade of Soyin, if you lose it you can't complete the quest and by finishing the quest the Blade of Soyin is gone.

Take the blade to the temple of Soyin (you probably need a taxi/cabbie to get there), go to the temple gift shop, and buy the amulet of confession.  Wear the amulet, go into confessions room, and place the blade in the alcove.

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Monks of Cool quests

"Cocktail Addict", in which you enjoyed a variety of beverages. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Cocktail Addict

Items: 30-40 crowns
Order 20 different beverages from the bar upstairs.  The "regular" drinks count too, and the specials periodically change.  Only 3-4 specials are listed at a time, in addition to the 3-4 regular drinks, so it can take a while to get 20 different drinks.  You don't need to drink them, just to buy them.

More info: Temple of Cool cocktails

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"Cool Dresser", in which you discovered some really Cool things to wear. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Cool Dresser

Items: Sunglasses from the general store in Slice (nowhere else)
Items: V-neck shirt from the general store in Mad Wolf
Items: Black silk vest from the general store in the Unnamed town just east of Escrow
Go into the Temple of the Monks of Cool and find the Fashion Police. Wear the three items of clothing and go south past the member of the Fashion Police. If you are able to get into the shrine, you should be awarded the quest.
Note: Clothing items can only be used once for this quest.

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Uberwald quests

Escrow quests

"Sentimentalist", in which you demonstrated a little control over expression. (Quest level 1)

Discworld quest page for Sentimentalist

Find Pireria in the Escrow town hall.

She will instruct you to huggle her warmly, wuffle her gently, and hug her tightly.

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Magpyr Castle quests

"Hatched Out", in which you conquered the evil within to release the flame of goodness into the world. (Quest level 3)

Discworld quest page for Hatched Out


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"Maestro", in which you traded key for key and made beautiful music. (Quest level 5)

Discworld quest page for Maestro


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"Scraps Mender", in which you risked life, limb and bad hair to save a beloved pet. (Quest level 4)

Discworld quest page for Scraps Mender


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"Superior Sportsman", in which you traveled long and far and vanquished a terrible menace. (Quest level 7)

Discworld quest page for Superior Sportsman

Note that the vampires you need to kill to get the quest are as difficult as you'd expect them to be (which is EXTREMELY difficult - bring friends or be very large.

Travel through Uberwald to Magpyr Castle, find your way into the castle dungeons, and kill Count Magpyr. Attempts at skipping part of the route with a portal or passage may lead to you not getting the quest - it's most unsportsmanlike behaviour!

To get to the castle, follow the road east out of Escrow, and follow the signs. The trail will end at a river, with a sign warning that the bridge is out. Make your way across the river, approach the castle from the east, and make your way through to the point where a cliff path leads off to the east.

Now to get into the castle itself, follow the cliff path until you can climb the wall and enter the window. Once inside, search the frame of the painting to find the key of the door to the south. Explore this floor until you get to the garderobe.

Climb into the garderobe and you'll fall into a cesspit. Search the floor for a small key, then move the piles of filth to expose a door to the west. You are now outside the castle again, so will have to climb the walls again.

You now have access to the great hall, so once inside, find your way there and then do the Maestro quest to get access to Igor's room on the ground floor of the castle.

In Igor's room, search the mattress to find the dungeon key. Also search the stuffing to find a keyring for all the keys!

Go west into the dungeon. Continue on into the dungeon until you can see a gem in the carvings on the wall. If you try to get this gem, then Vlad will appear. Kill him and take his key. Go to the next room and do the same with Lacrimosa. Go north twice (if you have the keys you can just unlock the doors otherwise you'll have to pick the locks). In the room with the sarcophagus, open it and kill the count to get the quest.

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Pictsie Barrows quests

"Intoxicating Linguist", in which you loosened a Feegle's tongue with strong drink. (Quest level 2)

Discworld quest page for Intoxicating Linguist

Skills: Some ad.mo.swimming or the ability to cast Finneblaugh's Thaumic Float
Items: Scumble (a bottle with a pint of scumble can be found by searching Nanny Ogg's drink cabinet in nearby Lancre Town)
Follow the road from Creel Springs to Blackglass until you see an island on the map, and enter the barrows from the east (this requires either swimming across or floating across one room of the lake around the barrows). Find Fione mac Feegle and say "help". Then give her scumble. She seems to want about a pint (the amount of scumble that's in a bottle when you buy it) although it doesn't seem to have to be all at once. It doesn't matter if the scumble in the container is mixed with something else. Then "enroll", and Fione will ask you to repeat some phrases. There are four lessons, and you have to wait a bit before enrolling again. You can try enrolling before you hand over the scumble to check whether you've waited long enough. After the final lesson, you'll get some skills in Uberwaldean (and in Lancrastian culture) and the quest.

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Unnamed Town quests