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Morporkian is a language spoken in the Sto Plains, including Ankh-Morpork and Sto Lat, as well as the Ramtops and Genua.

Learning it

Uberwaldean speakers can take lessons for &&&&&&&&&&&+2000 AM$5 each at Vanya's shack in Tobacco Road, Ankh-Morpork. There are about four lessons each for Written and Speaking, and from scratch you can get roughly Written 26/Spoken 27.

Agatean students can learn it at the Bes Pelargic Language Institute. Agatean students can also learn it at Little Agatea.

Djelian students can learn it at the Djelibeybi language school.

Ephebian students can learn it at the Ephebian Embassy in Ankh-Morpork.

Brindisian speakers can learn it at Mamma Filomena's bakery in Little Brindisi in southern Genua, free of charge.

TMing it


Good places to TM it include:

  • The Plaza of Broken Moons, which is quite busy and where you can hear things said anywhere in the Plaza
  • The junction of Cheapside with Filigree Street, where there's a domestic argument going on in room chats (you can TM from room chats if they're in a particular language)
  • Unseen University, wherever the communications imp is (he wanders around)-- though since it seems to be harder to TM twice in a row from the same NPC, you may want to move after TMing.
  • During the nights of a full moon: The moonlit market is made up of 4 or 5 traders in close proximity who list their wares aloud.
  • The docks, which are like the Plaza of Broken Moons (best put your money away though or shifty characters will steal it.)


In addition to scattered signs and menus:

  • Graffiti is frequently found through the city, so it's possible to TM just by walking round with verbose look on.
    • This also means that if you're not proficient in written Morporkian you can unexpectedly use up GP in this way.
  • Liquor Alley contains a high concentration of pubs close together, making it an efficient place to read menus. These pubs also tend to have a readable novelty machine.