Mail

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When used in a mail room, known as post offices, the mail command can be used to handle indirect text messages, also known as mudmail, between characters.

In some post offices you can also deposit parcels, basically items, to other players.

Usage

Upon typing mail in a mail room, you are presented with the Discworld mailer system screen:

                                        Discworld mailer system version 2.0
                                                          
                                           Folder inbox with 1 messages.                                          
                                                                  
   1   From: someone                          Subject: Some subject

                      You can use any of the following commands by entering the first character;
                   d)elete or u)ndelete mail,  m)ail a message,  r)eply or f)orward mail,  q)uit,
                           > = move messages, c)hange folder, i)ndex of folders, ? = help
                                    To read next unread message, press <return>.

You can then read messages, move or delete them or send a new message.

Sending a new message will use whatever editor you've chosen.

When in the mail handler you can use outside commands by putting ! in front of it.


You can also choose "Mail Reply" to someone's post on the Bulletin Boards on the website to send mail.

If you are logged in it will use the mail notification for the room you're in, or if not in a postal office the postal frog notification.


Parcel deposit

In locations that accept parcels you can use: deposit <object> for <character>

In Ankh-Morpork, the postmen accept parcels for delivery in the main post office for one Ankh-Morpork dollar per item by using the command: post <object> to <player>

This notifies the character with a mail message by "The parcel clerk" with a postal frog saying where to pick it up, which will be where you deposited it.

The notification looks like:

From the parcel clerk Sun Mar 13 20:24:02 2011 [local]
Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2011 20:24 GMT
From: the parcel clerk
To: <Receiver>
Subject: Parcel Deposit Notification

Please come to the Genua Post Office parcel counter to
collect a parcel which has been deposited for you by <Sender>.

Due to limited space in our warehouse you have two weeks to collect
your parcels, if you do not collect them within this time they will
will be destroyed.

   The parcel clerk, Genua Post Office.

You can deposit anonymously or reveal who sends the message.

You should not deposit stacked items, that is items within items within items. Doing so could result in loss of items. You Have Been Warned.

Notification

When you are logged in to the mud when someone sends you a message you are notified by a critter that depends on where the sender posted the message.

A number of post offices and every parcel deposit use the postal frog notification. This looks like:

Sender:

A small frog with a post office hat wanders up and takes your mail.
The frog hops off.

Receiver:

A frog hops in.
The frog points at you.
The frog whispers to you: You have been sent some mail by <Sender>; go to a post office to read it.
The frog exclaims: Cheerio!
The frog waves.

l frog
A small green frog with a large brightly coloured post office hat.  He has a small bag slung over his shoulder in which are stuffed literally hundreds of letters.  He has a broad smile on his face and obviously enjoys his job.
He is in good shape.
He is standing.

The frog hops away.

Post office locations

Post offices are locations from which you can access the mailer system. Some are fixed, some can be installed in player rented locations.

Player shops can install the Postal Counter amenity to provide this function. You can check the player shops page to see what amenities the shops provide.

Follows the location of fixed, npc operated post offices.

Ankh-Morpork

Ankh-Morpork Post Office

It is located a little to the east of Morpork at the junction of Widdershins Broadway and God Street at the back of the Patrician's palace.

From the western room you can also send parcel (items) to other players.

For mail:

Sender:

A small demon arrives from the east.
The demon takes your letter with a disgusted look.
The small demon scuttles into the shadows.

Receiver:

A small demon scuttles out of the shadows.
The small demon glares stonily at you.
The small demon says to you: You've got mail from <Sender>.
The small demon mutters under its breath.
The small demon scuttles into the shadows.

Posh post office on the Soake

In this Ankh-Morpork post office, located in western Ankh in the northwest of Hide Park, you can handle your mail.

Sender:

A waiting hand at the barred window politely takes your note.
A small demon scuttles out of the shadows.

A small demon wanders though a small shadowy hatch near the barred window on the wall.

Receiver:

A small demon scuttles out of the shadows.
The small demon glares stonily at you.
The small demon says to you: You've got mail from <Sender>.
The small demon mutters under its breath.
The small demon scuttles into the shadows.

Small post office on Brookless Lane

This Ankh-Morpork post office, located in eastern Ankh a little east of Jonas' vault, allows you to handle your mail.

Sender:

A small demon appears from a hiding place amongst the iron on one of the desks.
The demon takes your letter with a disgusted look.
The small demon scuttles into the shadows.

A small demon scuttles out of the shadows.
The demon wanders over to one of the desks and hides in amongst the ironwork somewhere.

Receiver:

A small demon scuttles out of the shadows.
The small demon glares stonily at you.
The small demon says to you: You've got mail from <Sender>.
The small demon mutters under its breath.
The small demon scuttles into the shadows.

l demon
This small demon spends a lot of its time looking furtively around the room.  You notice a small badge with the Ankh-Morpork Post Office symbol on it.
It is in good shape.
It is standing.
Carrying: a closed small notebook.

The small demon scuttles into the shadows.

Magistrate post office

This is a special post office located in the magistrates' area of the council building on Speedwell Street, which only magistrates can use.

Sender: [no message]

Receiver:

A dignified morpork flies into the room.
The dignified morpork hoots like an owl at you.
The dignified morpork owlishly says to you: You've got mail from <Sender>.
The dignified morpork mutters under its breath.
The dignified morpork flies up and away.

l morpork
This is a small, yet dignified morpork, acting on behalf of the Ankh-Morpork city council.  It's tiny owlish features are complemented by a snazzy golden postal badge and hat.
It is in good shape.
It is standing.
Wearing : a Special Courier's hat and a golden badge.

l badge on morpork
This is a small golden badge.  It has the Ankh-Morpork signature engraved on it forming a picture of a large hippo.

Magistrates can also dictate mails to the secretary in the magistrate area.

Sender:

A clerk rushes in, takes the letter from the desk and hurries away again.

Receiver:

An employee of the growing clacks-business heads towards you and says: "Please note that you have been send a clack.  You can collect it like your normal mail.  Have a nice day."
A frog hops in.
The frog points at you.
The frog whispers to you: You have been sent some mail by Council of ankh-morpork, <Sender>; go to a post office to read it.
The frog exclaims: Cheerio!
The frog waves.
The frog hops away.

l frog
A small green frog with a large brightly coloured post office hat.  He has a small bag slung over his shoulder in which are stuffed literally hundreds of letters.  He has a broad smile on his face and obviously enjoys his job.
He is in good shape.
He is standing.

Bes Pelargic (Agatea)

Bes Pelargic has two public post office, one of which is a parcel counter, and four private post offices in each great family estates.

Mail notification from anywhere in Bes Pelargic comes with a note in a rancid herring. Must be a cultural wossname.

open herring
You open the rancid herring.

l herring
This a rancid herring.  Its mouth looks a bit distorted.  Maybe if you open the fish you can see what it is all about.
It is in excellent condition.
The rancid herring is about one-quarter full with a tiny note.
It is open.

l note
This is a tiny piece of paper, covered with slime.
It appears to have something written on it.

re note
You read the tiny note:
Written in handwritten writing in Agatean:
You have some mail from <Sender>.  Head to the nearest post office to read it.

Silly Moon Alley (big rock)

Located in the southwest of Bes Pelargic, Silly Moon Alley is a tiny branch of Tree Snake Street beyond Origami Moon Way, to the southwest of famous Blue Moon Park.

There you can find an enormous rock that can be climbed to the top of it (climb rock) and then inside it (climb hole).

To leave you need to climb back on top (climb up) and then climb off the rock (climb down).

Here you can also post parcel (items) to other players.

For mail:

Sender:

Wan Crypsinus takes the letter and shoves it inside a bag that one of the albatrosses has around its neck.
Wan Crypsinus says in Agatean with a Bes Pelargic accent: Not to worry!  In the worst of cases the letter will do an extra trip to the Rim.
A pointless albatross checks out the weight in the bag around its neck.
The pointless albatross stretches its huge wings, flapping them a bit.
The part of the wall that has cracks on it slides open, making a perfect take-off platform.
The albatross flaps its wings more intensely and runs down the platform and then flies off making almost no sound.

Receiver:

A huge albatross flaps in.
It hovers above you.
The albatross drops a slimy, rancid herring at you, almost slapping you with it.
The albatross, snapping its beak and flapping its huge wings, leaves in a hurry.

Market Street (center north)

This post office is centrally located in northern Bes Pelargic, near the Snail, the Sung Estate and the Wizard's guild entrance library.

Sender:

A pointless albatross flaps off the perch.
The albatross snaps at the letter bad-temperedly.

Receiver:

A huge albatross flaps in.
It hovers above you.
The albatross drops a slimy, rancid herring at you, almost slapping you with it.
The albatross, snapping its beak and flapping its huge wings, leaves in a hurry.

Family post offices

The mail rooms available in each great Agatean family estate are only usable by family members.

Fang Estate

Sender:

You hold up a letter in your hand and wait for it to be collected.
A tiger cub pads in and takes a letter from the outstretched hand.
The tiger cub pads softly towards the door, pauses and then heads out into the big bad world.

Receiver:

A meek-looking tiger cub ambles in.
It wanders over to you and rubs against your leg.
The tiger cub spits out a rancid herring at you.
The tiger looks around expectantly, then turns to leave again.
Hong Estate

Sender:


Receiver:


McSweeney Estate

It is located in the attic at the topmost floor from the center of the McSweeney Estate, which is located at the top and center of Bes Pelargic.

Sender:

You hold up a letter in your hand and wait for it to be collected.
A little ox pads in and takes a letter from the outstretched hand.
The little ox pads softly towards the door, pauses and then heads out into the big bad world.

Receiver:

A little ox runs in.
It runs around you.
The little ox gives a slimy, rancid herring to you, almost slapping you with it.
The little ox flicks its tail and runs out in a hurry.
Sung Estate

It is located on the street level in the center south of the gardens of the Sung Estate which is a little to the north of the center of Bes Pelargic.

Sender:

You hold up a letter in your hand and wait for it to be collected.
A fluffy panda cub pads in and takes a letter from the outstretched hand.
The fluffy panda cub pads softly towards the door, pauses and then heads out into the big bad world.

Receiver:

A fluffy panda cub ambles in.
It snuffles around before heading over to snuffle at your feet.
The panda cub rears onto its hind legs and drops a slimy, rancid herring into your hands.
The young panda trundles off.
Tang Estate

Sender:

You hold up a letter in your hand and wait for it to be collected.
A little crane slides in and takes a letter from the outstretched hand.
The little crane flaps its wings loudly, circles the room once, and then heads out on its journey.

Receiver:

An elegant-looking crane flaps in.
It hovers above you.
The crane gives a slimy, rancid herring to you, almost slapping you with it.
The elegant-looking crane flaps its wings and flies out in a hurry.

Forn

Genua

The post office in Genua is 3 rooms west and then north from the palace, which is at the center of the city.

Sender:

The postal clerk snickers. / The postal clerk exclaims with a Genuan accent: Oh no, the letters!
From the row of erect mailboxes, a walking mailbox leaps onto the counter.
The postal clerk takes the mail and shoves it into the walking mailbox's box.
The walking mailbox leaps off the counter and runs out the door to the south.
A walking mailbox pops out of existence.
The walking mailbox pops into existence and sulks off.

A walking mailbox runs in from the south.
A walking mailbox leaps over the counter, and joins the row of immobile figures against the west wall.

Receiver:

A strange looking mailbox on legs pops into existence a short way away.
The walking mailbox regards you quizzically for a few moments.
The walking mailbox rears back, as if taking a deep, deep breath.
The walking mailbox spits a soggy, crumpled note at you.  It strikes with a satisfyingly wet slap.
The walking mailbox snickers at you.

a soggy note

l note
This is a soggy note, crumpled and wet.  It is still readable though... barely.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the soggy note:
Written in neatly written letters:
You have some mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it.


Klatch

Djelibeybi

Inside the Djelibeybi Post Office, just northeast of the bazaar, you can handle your mail in a booth.

Here you can also send parcel (items) to other players upstairs.

In the entry you can purchase postcards there, write on it and then send it with the mailbox, which deposits it to a parcel counter according to the receiver's nationality.

For mail:

Sender:

There is a half-hearted pop and a puff of wispy smoke a few feet from which a djinni tumbles into the booth.  After picking himself up he absentmindedly takes your note and disappears, apparently forgetting about the special effects.

Receiver:

You hear a half-hearted pop and see a puff of wispy smoke.  A few feet from the smoke a djinni tumbles into existence, rolls to a stop and groans.
The djinni looks round and then picks himself up.  He mutters something about "his people" and "doing lunch" into a black object which is clasped between shoulder and ear and then walks over to you and says "You have mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it."

l djinni
This is a post djinni.  He is wearing a turban, an expensive suntan, a small gold medallion, shiny shorts and advanced running shoes with curly toes.
He is in good shape.
He is standing.

With a vague pop and a puff of wispy smoke (some distance from the djinni himself) he disappears.

Ephebe

There's a parcel counter and a mail room in the temple of Fedecks on Petulia Avenue in the southeast of Ephebe.

For mail:

Sender:

A demon riding a small mule enters the room.  He gets off it quickly, muttering to himself.  The demon takes your note and tries to get back on the mule, which then starts running away, dragging the screaming demon behind it.
Muttering to himself, the demon tries to get back on the mule.  It then starts running away, dragging the screaming demon behind it.

Receiver:

A demon riding a small mule enters the room.  After several kicks and shouts the mule stops, and the demon gets off, holding a large sack.
The demon shakes his head, and looks around.  He mutters something about waybills and signatures, and then walks over to you and says "You have mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it."
Muttering to himself, the demon tries to get back on the mule.  It then starts running away, dragging the screaming demon behind it.

l demon
This demon acts as a messenger in the service of Fedecks.  He is wearing a blue uniform with a peeked cap, and is standing by his small white mule.  He is holding a big sack full of letters.
He is in good shape.
He is standing.


Sending mail (not parcel) from the entrance room:

Sender:

The priest recites a short prayer, and a demon riding a small mule enters the room.
The demon takes your note and tries to get back on the mule, which then starts running away, dragging the screaming demon behind it.

Receiver:

The demon shakes his head, and looks around.  He mutters something about waybills and signatures, and then walks over to you and says "You have mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it."
Muttering to himself, the demon tries to get back on the mule.  It then starts running away, dragging the screaming demon behind it.
A demon riding a small mule enters the room.  After several kicks and shouts, the mule stops.
The demon and mule vanish in a puff of logic.

Il Drim

You can handle your mail in the Il Drim general store a bit east of the crossroad.

It uses the postal frog notification.

Ramtops

Bad Ass

Go see Martha Headlock in the Bad Ass General Traders just southwest of the bridge on the village lane.

Sender:

Martha Headlock takes a letter from you and hides it somewhere.
Martha Headlock says with a Lancrastian accent: Someone'll come 'round and collect that later.

Receiver:

A rather dazed-looking carrier pigeon flies in.  It alights on your shoulder.
The carrier pigeon drops a message cylinder into your hands.
The pigeon flaps its wings, takes off and flies away.

l cylinder
This is a tiny message cylinder.  It bears the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
It is in excellent condition.
The tiny message cylinder is about half full with a tiny note.
It is open.

l note
This is a tiny piece of paper, headed with the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the tiny note:
Hello, <Receiver>!
You have some mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it.

Brass Neck

If you don't fall off the cliff and die while in Brass Neck, once you reach the Cutangle Inn you can move to the post room in the south part to handle your mail. If you do die, call a Pishe priest, they probably know the spot.

Sender:

A waiter wanders into the room and collects the outgoing mail.
The waiter nods at you as he leaves the room.

Receiver:

A little postal pigeon with a note attached to its leg lands on your shoulder.  The note has the name <Sender> on it.  The pigeon gives off a happy cooing sound before flying off back to its origin.
A rather dazed-looking carrier pigeon flies in.  It alights on your shoulder.
The carrier pigeon drops a message cylinder into your hands.
The pigeon flaps its wings, takes off and flies away.

l cylinder
This is a tiny message cylinder.  It bears the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
It is in excellent condition.
The tiny message cylinder is about half full with a tiny note.
It is open.

l note
This is a tiny piece of paper, headed with the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the tiny note:
Hello, <Receiver>!
You have some mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it.

Escrow

If you survive the vampires, in Escrow you can handle your mail at Thee Gifte Shoppe northwest of the town square.

Sender:

A raven takes off through a hole in the ceiling.

Receiver:

A solid black raven flaps in.
It stares at you.
The raven drops a tiny note on your head.
The raven stares off into the distance before disappearing.

You can also purchase postcards there, write on it and have it delivered on the spot. This does not use the mail handler but rather transport the postcard to the receiver.

Sender:

Harald Billig says in Uberwaldean with an Uberwaldean accent: Three Lancre shillings, please.
Harald Billig takes one of the magpies out of the birdcage and gives the postcard to it.
The magpie flaps out of the door, the postcard in its beak.

The magpie returns and Harald puts it back into the birdcage.

Receiver:

You hear a loud flapping of wings and seconds later feel pointy claws on your right shoulder.  The magpie, which apparently just decided to land there, drops a postcard into your hands and soars off again.

a tiny note

l note
This is a tiny piece of paper.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the tiny note:
Written in handwritten writing in Uberwaldean:
You have some mail from <Sender>.  Head to the nearest post office to read it.

Lancre Town

There is a mail counter in the general store in Lancre Town.

Sender:

Mr. Quarney takes a letter from you and puts it in the mail slot.
Mr. Quarney says with a Lancrastian accent: Someone'll come 'round and collect that soon.
Mr. Quarney stumbles around the room.
A postal hedgehog scurries into the room and scampers onto the counter.
The postal hedgehog reaches down into the mail slot and pulls out a small cue card.
The postal hedgehog wrinkles its nose, nods, then scurries out of the shop.

l hedgehog
This is one the hedgehogs in the service of Lancre Town's very, very small postal service.  There's rarely any work to be done though, so often these hedgehogs work the message delivery job part-time, and try to find gainful employment elsewhere to fill their days.
It is in good shape.
It is standing on the counter.

Receiver:

A postal hedgehog rushes into the room, its little legs stirring up a cloud of dust behind it.
Standing in front of you, it pulls out a cue card and starts to read.  Before the first word comes out, the hedgehog is suddenly struck by a case of stage fright and turns a shade of beet.
Completely embarrassed, the postal hedgehog slips a cue card into your hand and hurries away.
The postal hedgehog vanishes in a cloud of dust.

l card
This is a tiny cue card.
It appears to have something written on it.

read card
You read the tiny cue card:
Written in tiny scrawled letters:
There is some mail from <sender> wot is waiting for you.  Go to a post office to read it.

Ohulan-Cutash

In the northwestern corner of the Ohulan-Cutash market, the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office is serviced by a wide-eyed yokel.

Here you can also send parcel (items) to other players.

Sender:

The wide-eyed yokel takes the mail and places it in a pigeon hole.
The wide-eyed yokel says with an Ohulan accent: One of mah pigeons'll fix yer right up.
A carrier pigeon hops out of the massive bird cage and stands on the counter.
The carrier pigeon disappears into one of the pigeon holes and returns holding a tiny message cylinder in its beak.
The pigeon flaps its wings and takes off through an open window.

A carrier pigeon soars in through the window and lands on the counter.
The carrier pigeon hops back into the bird cage.

Receiver:

A rather dazed-looking carrier pigeon flies in.  It alights on your shoulder.
The carrier pigeon drops a message cylinder into your hands.
The pigeon flaps its wings, takes off and flies away.

l cylinder
This is a tiny message cylinder.  It bears the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
It is in excellent condition.
The tiny message cylinder is about half full with a tiny note.
It is open.

l note
This is a tiny piece of paper, headed with the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the tiny note:
Hello, <Receiver>!
You have some mail from <Sender>.  Go to a post office to read it.

Slippery Hollow

The under-equipped, under-staffed and over-worked staff of the Slippery Hollow Post Office uses the postal frog notification while trying to keep up with mail from tourists.

Here you can also post parcel (items) to other players.

Sto Plains

Hillshire

The post office of Hillshire is east of the north end of town.

Sender:

The mouse somehow manages to put your letter in his backpack and scurries away.

Receiver:

A postal mouse wearing a postal hat wanders into the room, looking around anxiously.
A little mouse wearing a postal hat scurries towards you.  He takes a note from his backpack with a little bit of difficulty.
The postal mouse gives a small note to you.
The postal mouse looks at you and smiles.

l mouse
The mouse is wearing a little backpack: well not so little in comparison to the mouse.
He is in good shape.
He is standing.

l note
A small piece of paper that looks pretty new.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the small note:
You have been sent some mail from <Sender>, so go to your nearest post office to read it.  This note will self destruct in 10 seconds.

The small note explodes in a ball of heatless fire.
The postal mouse waves at you, and scurries off.
The postal mouse clasps his backpack and runs away.

Nowhere

Never Mail Service, the Nowhere local post office, uses the postal frog notification.

Sheepridge

The post office is west of the southwestern part of the Sheepridge village center.

Sender:

One of the tellers lifts himself off his seat with great effort and just about manages to release one of the ravens from the cage.
The raven takes your note in his beak with a disgusted look.

A raven flaps graciously into the room and waddles over to a cage for the cleric to let him back in.  As it enters the cage it pushes the other ravens out of its way.

Receiver:

A black raven appears out of nowhere and drops a note at your feet, which you then pick up.
The raven flaps its wings.

l raven
This is one of the outer post office regions messenger ravens,  used for taking messages all over the disk.  He looks like he is carrying a note of some kind.
It is in good shape.
It is standing.

l note
A small piece of paper that looks pretty new.
It appears to have something written on it.

read note
You read the small note:
Written in tidy writing:
For the attention of you.
You have some mail from Someone, so go to your nearest post office to read it.
Warning - This note will self destruct in 20 seconds.

Your note busts into flames.
The raven looks at you, and then flies off.

Sto Lat

The main Post Office is located on Queen's Road in the eastern part of Sto Lat.

Here you can also post parcel (items) to other players.

For mail:

Sender:

The teller pulls a little lever, and a small hidden door opens in the wall.
A small imp enters from the door, which closes behind it.
The small imp takes your letter and smiles.
The small imp scuttles into the shadows.

A small imp scuttles out of the shadows.
The small imp walks up to the wall and knocks a complex combination.  After a brief pause, part of the wall opens to let it in.

Receiver:

A small imp scuttles out of the shadows.
The small imp kicks you on the ankle to get your attention.
The small imp waves.
The small imp scuttles into the shadows.

This is a small imp, wearing an official Sto Lat Postal Service hat.
It is in good shape.
It is standing.

See also

External links