Grammer Scorbic's Household Guard

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Grammer Scorbic's Household Guard
Spell information
Nickname gshg
Guild Witches
Type Defensive
Description Floats a utensil that blocks attacks.
GP cost 50
Mind space 20
Thaums 4
Components none
Crystal None

Grammer Scorbic's Household Guard is a defensive witch spell which floats a protective household utensil around the caster.


This spell can be learnt at 15 levels of magic.spells.defensive. It is taught by Granny Weatherwax and Aunty Ogg-San.



Upon successful casting, the target utensil enters orbit around the caster. This then has the following effects:

Multiple utensils

Multiple utensils may be floated about the same witch, however:

  • Multiple utensils are less effective at blocking an attack than any of them would be on their own.
  • There is a random chance while blocking or otherwise every couple of minutes that two floating utensils will collide in mid-air, in which case one may be knocked down.

Bringing down utensils

Utensils may be brought down by various means:


This spell requires 50 GP to cast, and takes up 20 units of mind space.

  • It may be cast on any household utensil, and will only float utensils about the caster.
  • Utensils that are also containers do not seem to be usable until they are emptied.


Focus tea results
30 60 90 120 150 180 210 240 270 300 330

The following skills are required for this spell:

The difficulty of the magic.methods.physical.binding skillcheck is proportional to the weight of the utensil; the spellcheck data here is for a flatiron.


No components are required for this spell other than the utensil target.

Casting messages

You clasp <target> tightly in one fist.
You hold <target> at arm's length and wave it about.
You recommend to <target> that it should do something useful.
<target> begins to float around you.
Failure - Skill check
You struggle and strain to lift <target>, but it's too much for you.  It falls to the ground.
Failure - Utensil is a container and not empty
<target> seems much too preoccupied with looking after <contents> to get up and float through the air.
To others
Myrina Womblesworth clasps a <target> tightly in one fist.
Myrina Womblesworth holds a <target> at arm's length and waves it about.
Myrina Womblesworth stares fixedly at a <target>.
The <target> begins to float around Myrina Womblesworth.


  • This spell is functionally identical to Endorphin's Floating Friend, except it works on utensils instead of shields.
  • The utensil may be in the room with the caster rather than in their inventory. It is automatically picked up during the spell and impacts burden normally - so you can't float a utensil from the ground that you would not be able to pick up.
  • Lighter utensils will block more attacks, but are easier to knock out.
  • Heavier utensils block less attacks, but are harder to knock out.
  • This spell is particularly effective against opponents that attack rapidly without specialing.
  • It's much less useful against opponents that frequently special.
  • Witches with a strong focus on physical combat may be better off forgoing this spell and relying on dodge/parry, as the action point penalty otherwise severely reduces their rate of attack.

See also

External links