Granny Lipintense's Layer of Lard

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Spell Crystal
Granny Lipintense's Layer of Lard
Spell information
Nickname glll
Guild Witches
Type Miscellaneous
Description Dries and protects against the common cold.
GP cost 40
Mind space 15
Thaums 3
Components eel skin, duck feather (consumed)
Crystal Aquamarine
Granny Lipintense's Layer of Lard
Magick crystal information
Colour Aquamarine
Effect Increases buoyancy
Duration (s) 15 seconds per amulet bonus
Duration (l) 30 seconds per amulet bonus

Granny Lipintense's Layer of Lard is a miscellaneous witch spell which covers the target in a waterproof layer of lard. This layer protects the target against getting wet in the rain.


This spell can be learned at 20 levels of magic.spells.misc. It is taught by Granny Weatherwax and Aunty Ogg-San.


The effects of this spell are as follows:

Drops of water run off you like they would from a goose.
Some drops of water run off you, washing away the rest of your blanket of lard in the process.
  • The target is rendered immune to the common cold for the duration of the spell's effect.

Note that this spell does not prevent insects from Mama Kolydina's Instant Infestation from leaving when underwater.

This spell can be cast again while active to stack the duration, however, the maximum duration that can be obtained via stacking is capped.

The amount of lard remaining will be displayed in the target's look description, as well as under 'shields'.

She bears a remarkable resemblance to a mobile block of lard.
She is wrapped in a thick blanket of lard.
She is wrapped in a substantial blanket of lard.
She is wrapped in a blanket of lard.
She is wrapped in a thin blanket of lard.
She is wrapped in a barely waterproof layer of lard.
The layer of lard around you vanishes with a wet sound.

Magick crystal

This spell may be imbued into a magick crystal, which will turn the crystal an aquamarine colour.

The magick crystal's effects are radically different to that of the spell:

  • The crystal does not protect against getting wet.
  • The crystal does drastically increase the wearer's buoyancy, making it very hard for them to drown (or for that matter, submerge).


This spell requires 40 GP to cast, and takes up 15 units of mind space.


Focus tea results
100 120 140 160 180 200 220 240 260 280 300

The following skills are used in the casting of this spell:


This spell requires:

Note that these components are not required when imbuing the spell into a magick crystal, only when the spell is cast directly.

Casting messages

Casting (self)
You prepare to cast Granny Lipintense's Layer of Lard on yourself.
You place the duck feather on the eel skin and dance around it, moaning and rolling your eyes, to impress anyone that might be looking.
You swallow the duck feather and absorb its power.
You take the aura of the eel skin and wrap it around you.
The space around you becomes greasy, solidifying into a gargantuan layer of lard.
To others
Myrina Womblesworth does a complicated dance around her magical eelskin, invoking unholy spirits in a strange voice.
Myrina Womblesworth forces herself to swallow a magical duck feather.
Myrina Womblesworth does something arcane with the eel skin and gestures towards herself.
Myrina Womblesworth is surrounded by a gargantuan layer of lard.

See also

External links