Gender change

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Experimental potions are available from research witch Wicked Hannah Morgenstern to change one's gender. She can be visited in the old temple turned witch's cottage in the woods just outside Pekan Ford. [1]

What to do

Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: If you want to change gender, just say so - I can help with that.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says with a Sto Plains accent: I had this lass come to me for help, wanting to get out of a bad marriage.  I told her a gender change potion wouldn't help, what with her husband being the way he is, but apparently she just wanted to run off and join the Widdershins Order of Sandelfonian monks, and they're very traditional.

You say: potions
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: I discovered a potion recipe to change gender, a while back.  I'm still trying to work out why it doesn't work for anyone else.  I hate non-reproducible magic.  It just doesn't make sense.

You say: change gender
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern looks you up and down consideringly.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: You want to change gender?  Lots of people do, it can come in handy whether the midwife got it wrong or just need a change.  I've got a recipe that can help, but you'll need to go and get the ingredients for me.  Some of them come from Forn Parts, mind!  If you need to know where to get them, just ask me about them.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern makes some calculations on a slate with a horrendous screeching scratching noise.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: From the looks of you, I'll need nineteen pinches of cinnamon, eighteen pinches of nutmeg, a handful of sugar, a set of fresh elephant genitals - fresh, mind you! - a snail, and the tail of a puppy dog.  If you need to hear that list again, just ask me for a reminder.

You say: reminder
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: What's next... cinnamon, nineteen pinches; nutmeg, eighteen pinches; sugar, fifty pinches; snail, we only need one; genitals, elephant, fresh; tail, from a puppy dog.

Ingredients

cinnamon
  • Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: Lovely spice, goes well in coffee. It's Ephebian, I think. If you don't want to grind the bark yourself, plenty of merchants will sell you some.
nutmeg
  • Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: Lovely spice, goes well in rice pudding. It's Ephebian, I think. If you don't want to grind the nut yourself, plenty of merchants will sell you some.
sugar
  • Available from many stores.
  • You can grind sugar lumps in a grinder to get loose sugar.
  • Loose sugar, nutmeg, and cinnamon can all be purchased from the back room of the Laughing Falafel in northwestern Ankh Morpork.
elephant genitals
  • Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: Elephants live in Klatch. Separating them from their genitals is up to you.
  • Elephants spawn in plains terrain in Klatch.
  • The genitals must be given to Hannah while still fresh and won't remain fresh for long. Immediate delivery is recommended.
snail
  • Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: I hear the melon farmers in Djelibeybi are having a real problem with snails at the moment.
  • The friendly brown snail from the Academy of Artificers works. They do not survive.
  • The cone snail from Ephebe works as well; it may be purchased from a stall in the harbour market for S2|28de
puppy dog tail
  • Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says: If you don't want to kill a puppy, there's a flower that looks just like a tail, all white and fluffy. It grows by the river in Scrogden, I think.
  • Use "pick flower" just outside Libby Twickle's cottage.

Potion

Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says with a Sto Plains accent: Let's see now...
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says with a Sto Plains accent: The things we put ourselves through...
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern feeds the elephant genitals through a mincer and decants the results into a jar.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says with a Sto Plains accent: That's everything, let's put the kettle on.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says with a Sto Plains accent: This is a tricky process, and I need to concentrate.  So stay quiet and don't do anything to distract me, or it will all go wrong and your gender change potion will end up turning you into an "it" instead.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern glares warningly at you.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern pours water into an old black kettle and sets it on the stove to heat.
The kettle begins to heat up.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern pours the jar of elephant goo and the crushed snail into a small cauldron.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern tips the ground spices into the cauldron and mixes it all up.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern lifts the kettle off the stove as it begins to whistle, and tips most of the boiling water into the cauldron.  The rest goes into a handy teapot.
The boiling potion has begun to turn a milky white, with swirling veins of blue and pink.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern stirs the potion with the puppy dog tail and mutters something.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern checks the teapot's temperature and swirls it lightly before pouring the brown liquid into a mug and tipping in the handful of sugar.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern adds milk from a humorous cow-shaped jug and takes a sip of her tea.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern says to you with a Sto Plains accent: Looks like it worked perfectly!  Here's your new gender change potion.  If you turn green or all your hair falls out, you probably brought me the wrong kind of cinnamon.  Merchants keep trying to pass off cassia as the real thing these days.
Wicked Hannah Morgenstern gives a small octagonal green phial to you.
This is a small octagonal green glass phial.
It appears to have something written on it.
It is in excellent condition.
The small octagonal green phial is almost full with three ounces of gleaming white potion.
It is almost full.
It is open.

You read the small octagonal green phial:
Written in spidery Borogravian gothic hand:
Gender rectification potion. Take 3 oz. once only.  Do not repeat dose within six months.  Report any adverse or unexpected side effects to Mss Hannah Morgenstern, Pekan Ford, Skund.  
Made for Player.  Not for consumption by anyone else.  May contain nuts.

Thick and viscous, with a mysterious spicy scent, this milky white potion swirls with traces of blue and pink.  There is about about three ounces of it.
Snail-tracks of gleaming octarine light criss-cross over the surface of the potion.
  • As announced, this doesn't work on witches.
You feel a surge of something warm and heavy in your gut, but your magic surges in response and banishes the effect.
You drink the small octagonal green phial, which tastes vaguely of pickles.
The feeling in your gut fades away.

Distracting Hannah with "say" or emotes during the potion making can cause her to spill tea into the potion, which will create a gender-removing potion that will change your pronoun to "it". Getting a gender after being turned into an "it" is an exercise left to the reader.

See also