Dead letter office jobs

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Ankh-Morpork Post Office by Quow
This page is about a source of missions / jobs.

Dead letter office jobs will have you acting as an unofficial postal employee for the Ankh-Morpork Post Office, delivering letters to citizens near and far (at your discretion).

Notes

  • Times listed with DW (Discworld) units above are in Roundworld minutes, times listed with RW (RoundWorld) units use earth conventional times. (See options output temporal_reality)
  • The money you receive as payment is usually in the currency used in the location where the recipient happens to be when the letter is delivered.
  • If you don't want to deliver the letter Frank gave to you, give it back to him; however, you will need to wait ten Roundworld minutes before you can attempt another delivery.
  • If you lose the letter and would like to get another without waiting for the delivery time to expire, tell Frank that you would like to quit. You will still need to wait the ten Roundworld minutes before he will give you another one.
  • You cannot deliver while it is too dark for you to see the recipient.
  • If you find a letter another player has dropped or fumbled, you can return it to Frank who will tell you who it was given to. This does not make the letter available for other players if it has not expired yet. You may want to check the expiry before returning and tell the player if this is the case so that they can quit manually as above.

The Job

To see what the kind of letters there are, you can check pigeonholes for a brief list. One can also read pigeonholes for a verbose listing, though it provides no additional information.

You can pick a type of letter from those listed on the pigeonholes to offer to deliver <letter code>, ex. offer to deliver dlc

When the addressee is found, you can deliver letter to <npc>.

Inquiring

When you take on a mission to deliver a letter with a vague address, or only the city, you can inquire after addressee to find out more information. This is a skill check that uses the relevant people.culture skill for the area.

Mission Bonus for odds of success
Range ~ 0% ~ 50% Nearly always
Vague address 150 ? 193
Only the city <202 ? 239
  • Inquiring will tell you the type of npc (actor, monk, etc.) if the letter is not clear on that.
  • The appropriate npcs have the distinctive traits at the end of their description when you look at them.
  • The range to get bearing on the target is around 12-20 rooms away.
  • Most of the time the direction given will be (pure) south if you're not more than 2 east or west from the destination. It seems likely that rooms with opposite directions (say you need to go north and then later south to reach the target) cancel each other.
  • Paths to the target in a straight line with no intersections seem to extend the range somewhat.
  • The furthest range categories are often considerably shorter than the number of rooms in the table. This might be because of some kind of neighbourhood limits.
Message: that your target Meaning
isn't in the neighbourhood Beyond detection
was spotted in the <direction> a while back 12 to 16+ rooms away
was spotted in the <direction> not too long ago 9-15 rooms away
was spotted in the <direction> recently 3-8 rooms away
was spotted very close by not a moment ago 0-2 rooms away
met a brutal end Target dead
You find the language barrier to be insurmountable You need to speak <appropriate language> for the area

Vague address is easier in several ways:

  • An intersection is indicated.
  • If you are further away than ~17 rooms from the intersection inquire just says you are too far. (This might be fixed neighbourhood boundaries.)
  • The bonus needed is lower than for letters with only the city.

Deciphering

The address of the letters with terrible handwriting has been quite obfuscated.

  • They can be deciphered with the command decipher handwriting on letter.
  • This is a skill check that uses crafts.arts.calligraphy, with a bonus somewhere greater than ~200 or so, and costs 40 GP.

Rewards

Method Abbreviation Mission XP reward Monetary reward Time given
Missing letters DLA Close by; smudged address 12800 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+2600 A$6.50 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Deciphering DLB Close by; terrible handwriting 25600 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+5200 A$13 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLC Close by; vague address 24128 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+4800 A$12 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLD Close by; only the city 47823 XP &&&&&&&&&&+10000 A$25 45 DW min / 13.5 RW min
Missing letters DLE Far away; smudged address 25600 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+4500 A$11.25 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Deciphering DLF Far away; terrible handwriting 27456 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+6000 A$15 &&&&&&&&&&&+5472 LC 3|2|- 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLG Far away; vague address 33440 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+7200 A$18 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLH Far away; only the city 50064 XP &&&&&&&&&&+10080 21Rh 45 DW min / 13.5 RW min
Surviving DLI Difficult customer varies varies 200 DW min - 3.33 DW hour / 1 RW hour (Thursday/Librarian)

Close-By

The npcs close-by for smudged address and terrible handwriting should be in the following table. If not, please add them.

NPC Address (letter may not match exactly) City
Ada Woonsocket Upper Broadway Ankh-Morpork
Alfred Musqrat Sheer Street, Paint Shop Ankh-Morpork
Anita Hurpley God's Collar, Battes Ande Cakes Ankh-Morpork
Apold Blorkman West Ankh Ferry Ankh-Morpork
Archemedies Artorollo Alley, Georgio's pizza place Ankh-Morpork
Argule Wibbley Cockbill Street, Argule Wibbley's Pottery Shop Ankh-Morpork
Arlof Eetmmot Plaza of Broken Moons, Arlof Eetmmot's Bakery Ankh-Morpork
Baldwin MacAvrik Filigree Street, The Blacksmiths Ankh-Morpork
Baguette Weaver Street, Baguette's Shop Ankh-Morpork
Barry Phedre Road, Jenn & Barry's Ice Cream Parlour Ankh-Morpork
Benno Lacoste Prouts, Wine Warehouse Ankh-Morpork
Bernita Treacle Street, Bernita's Flower Shop Ankh-Morpork
Bertha God Street Ankh-Morpork
Bjarki Dwarf Bread Museum, Whirligig Alley Ankh-Morpork
Bjorn Tightbritches Intersection of Cable Street and Gleam Street ,Ironcrust's Dwarf Bakery Ankh-Morpork
Bligh Earcrusher Park Street, Bligh Earcrusher's exclusive shop Ankh-Morpork
Brerand Brerand's Armoury, Tenth Egg Street Ankh-Morpork
Brother David Short Street, The house of rest and safety Ankh-Morpork
Brother Soon Shine Sun Clay Lane, The Shonky Shop Ankh-Morpork
Cadmium Cable Street, Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen Ankh-Morpork
Carnelia Palm Pinky's Lingerie and Big Top Circus Supply Emporium, Street of Cunning Artificers Ankh-Morpork
Chester Copperpot Endless Street, Chester Copperpot's Tattoo Parlour Ankh-Morpork
Commander Samuel Vimes Pseudopolis Yard Watch House, Ankh-Morpork City Watch Ankh-Morpork
Constable Dorfl Pseudopolis Yard Watch House, Ankh-Morpork City Watch Ankh-Morpork
Constable Shoe Pseudopolis Yard Watch House, Ankh-Morpork City Watch Ankh-Morpork
Constable Swires Pseudopolis Watch House, Ankh-Morpork City Watch Ankh-Morpork
Constable Visit Pseudopolis Watch House, Ankh-Morpork City Watch Ankh-Morpork
Count Notfarouto The Fresh Start Club, Elm Street.
(Doesn't spawn there, might have to go at a meeting time)
Ankh-Morpork
Cubert Eiche Stuff for Fires, The Goose Gate Ankh-Morpork
Cutta Cattle District, Pony Parts Ankh-Morpork
Cynthia Potts Losing Street, Stop Losing Your Way Ankh-Morpork
Dagmar Schmet The Street of Alchemists, Guild of Alchemists Ankh-Morpork
Dame Sufferland The Salt Shaker, Upper Broadway Ankh-Morpork
Danlin Flood Walk, The Groaning Platter Tavern Ankh-Morpork
Darren Spangler Sator Square, Magical Emporium Ankh-Morpork
David Wobbler Artorollo Alley Ankh-Morpork
Del Trotter Caveat Emptorium, Trotters Lane Ankh-Morpork
Derek Wadley Alguinna Alley, Cheese Shop Ankh-Morpork
Dhraz Shaftrubble Iron Helmet Ankh-Morpork
Dimitris Dimwell Street, Dimitris' Dummies Ankh-Morpork
Doctor Bones Monk's Hospital, The Pitts Ankh-Morpork
Dogbottler Short Street Ankh-Morpork
Doss Chiderdoss Street of the Alchemists Ankh-Morpork
Drakko Salt Shaker, Flat 2 Ankh-Morpork
Dr Sigman Fraud Short Street
(Note: you might have to pay for an appointment to actually deliver it)
Ankh-Morpork
Edward Scrooge The Street of Alchemists, Guild of Alchemists Ankh-Morpork
Ella Montigue Shop on n-w corner of Dolly Sisters Ankh-Morpork
Emmaline Lamb Pleaders Row, Emmaline Lamb's World of Baskets Ankh-Morpork
Farnem Failey Upper Broadway, The Salt Shaker Ankh-Morpork
Fat Sandra Squeezebelly Alley, Fat Sally's coffee house Ankh-Morpork
Felicity Hopkinson Dwarf Bread Museum, Whirligig Alley Ankh-Morpork
Ferris Clinkersson Craft Court, Phedre Road Ankh-Morpork
Flyn Skint The Waterfront, Flyn's Place Ankh-Morpork
Fred Endless Street, Fred's Emporium and Clothing Shop Ankh-Morpork
Fred Sylver Washer Way, Sylver's Ankh-Morpork
Freda Glottik Street of Small Gods, Temple of Small Gods Ankh-Morpork
Geoffrey God Street (in Bertha's House) Ankh-Morpork
Georgio Artorollo Alley, Georgio's pizza place Ankh-Morpork
Geremiah Codger Widdershins Broadway Ankh-Morpork
Gerry Watkins Dimwell Street Ankh-Morpork
Gertrude Lobbin Clout, Flintwick Building, Gertrude's Perfumery Ankh-Morpork
Gimlet Cable Street, Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen Ankh-Morpork
Gladys Bob's Fish Shoppe, Street of Cunning Artificers Ankh-Morpork
Goran Ankh Bridge Imports Ankh-Morpork
Gore Batchev Ankh Street, Batchev's World of Maps Ankh-Morpork
Gunther Market Street, Costlee Coffee Ankh-Morpork
Gwawr Clwyd Phedre Road, Tannery Ankh-Morpork
Halley Toomer Ankh-Moprok, Scoone Avenue, Toomer Stationers Ankh-Morpork
Ham Burgner The Maul, Burgner's Coffee on the Maul Ankh-Morpork
Harmony Stardancer Treacle Street, Harmony Stardancer's Magical Shoppe Ankh-Morpork
Harold Cobbler 1_ Elm Street (western end) Ankh-Morpork
Harold Rye Pepper Pot, Upper Broadway Ankh-Morpork
Herbert Bologna Shop, God Street Ankh-Morpork
Henufi Icta The Soake, The Laughing Falafel Ankh-Morpork
Hibiscus Dunelm The Mended Drum, Filigree Street Ankh-Morpork
Hito Hitokui Upper Broadway, The Salt Shaker Ankh-Morpork
Hobliet the Unnecessary Sator Square, Magical Supplies Emporium, Hobliet the Unnecessary's Linear Tools Ankh-Morpork
Hrun / Mervin The Mended Drum, Filigree Street Ankh-Morpork
Humbugs McBah The Street of Alchemists, Guild of Alchemists Ankh-Morpork
Hurple Cockbill Street, Hurple's towel shop Ankh-Morpork
Hwel Isle of Gods, The Dysk Ankh-Morpork
Igor The Forge, Cable Street (opposite Cutankle's, upstairs) Ankh-Morpork
Igor Brerand's Armoury, Tenth Egg Street (upstairs) Ankh-Morpork
Inga The Pain in the Neck Ankh-Morpork
Ixolite Fresh Start Club, Elm Street
Not always there - check Mrs. Cake's house, or possibly appears in the room to the east of the club room.
Ankh-Morpork
Jabez Clamber Grunefair, antique jewellery shop Ankh-Morpork
Jacinthe Bockxse Ankh Street, Batchev's World of Maps Ankh-Morpork
Jack Banks God's Collar, Starbanks Ankh-Morpork
John Tetzel The Street of Small Gods, Tetzel's Indulgences Ankh-Morpork
Kenneth Market Street, discreet stall Ankh-Morpork
Kernab Kernab's Weaponry Store, Treacle Street Ankh-Morpork
Kodattai The Cattle District Ankh-Morpork
Kurr Ency The Pitts, The Coin Corner Ankh-Morpork
Kveldulf Svensson Whirligig Alley, Dwarf Bread Museum Ankh-Morpork
Lady Timatis God's Collar, Escort Agency reception (ask receptionist for appointment) Ankh-Morpork
Lilith Z. Dharienne Body Street, Karma 'R' Us Ankh-Morpork
Liona Keeble Cheap Street, Keeble's Job Shop Ankh-Morpork
Little Jimmy Endless St, Souvenir Shop (by Least Gate) Ankh-Morpork
Luciano Flabbarotti Pseudopolis Yard, The Stab in the Back Ankh-Morpork
Madame Dawning Madame Dawning’s Palliaments, One Pseudopolis Yard Ankh-Morpork
Madame Gumble Cockbill Street, Madame Gumble's Jewellery Ankh-Morpork
Manuel Fawlty God Street, The Curry Gardens Ankh-Morpork
Mardi Phedre Road, Craft Court, Masqueparade Ankh-Morpork
Maria Phedre Road, Poster Shop Ankh-Morpork
Marvin Marvin's Mantels, The Street of Cunning Artificers Ankh-Morpork
Master Nimbledrit Master Nimbledrit's shop of Crafting Equipment, Ettercap Street Ankh-Morpork
Maximiliam Dimlith Green Lumpy Bit, outside a plilosophical looking building Ankh-Morpork
Miss Anna Colourful furniture shop, Phedre Road Ankh-Morpork
Miss Ha'penny Offices in the middle of Speedwell Street, first set s-w of Ankh Morpork Council building Ankh-Morpork
Miss Grangrid The premises of Grangrid, Graves, and Descendants, Chrononhotonthologos Street Ankh-Morpork
Mo Astor Cattle District, Baron Street, Frenly Money Changerz Ankh-Morpork
Monsieur Rosset Pseudopolis Yard, Monsieur Rosset's Hairdressing Salon Ankh-Morpork
Mr Cheese The Bucket, Gleam Street Ankh-Morpork
Mr Cranwell The street of Cunning Artificers, The Engravers Ankh-Morpork
Mr Cropper The Print Shop, Pseudopolis Yard, Isle of the Gods Ankh-Morpork
Mr Goatberger The Print Shop, Pseudopolis Yard, Isle of the Gods Ankh-Morpork
Mr. Goodmountain Gleam Street, busy printing room Ankh-Morpork
Mr Graves The premises of Grangrid, Graves, and Descendants, Chrononhotonthologos Street Ankh-Morpork
Mr Lumiere Market Street Ankh-Morpork
Mr. Manson Elm Street, Elm Street Mortuary Ankh-Morpork
Mr. Scoonwinkle Hopper Street, Scoonwinkle's Shoe Store Ankh-Morpork
Mr Steless Mr. T.A. Steless's World of Art, Street of Cunning Artificers Ankh-Morpork
Mr. Stronginthearm Lower Broadway, Weaponsmith Ankh-Morpork
Mr Vitiolo Brookless Lane, Calligraphy shop Ankh-Morpork
Mrs. Armitage Loom Alley, Embroidery Shop Ankh-Morpork
Mrs. Confectionairre Salis Street, Confections De Confectionairre Ankh-Morpork
Mrs Corduroy Chrononhotonthologos Street, Mrs Corduroy's Stuffed Animals Ankh-Morpork
Mrs Dimmles Mrs Dimmles' Open-All-Hours cafe, Dimwell Street Ankh-Morpork
Mrs Drull Fresh Start Club, Elm Street (check Mrs. Cake's house outside of meeting times) Ankh-Morpork
Mrs. Dodger Isle of Gods, Pseudopolis Yard Watch House Ankh-Morpork
Mrs Green Zephire Street, Second Hand Shop Ankh-Morpork
Mrs Vera Johannes Spa Lane, Milords & Miladies Ankh-Morpork
Ms Estible The Willows, The Head of the Table Ankh-Morpork
Murgatroyd Listey Souvenir Shop, Humble Street Ankh-Morpork
Nathan The Curio Shop, Artorollo Alley Ankh-Morpork
Nese Stenzelle Phedre Road, Nese's Fine Decor Ankh-Morpork
Old Bob The Flintwick Building Ankh-Morpork
Old Crumble The Bucket Ankh-Morpork
Olson Water Street, Olson's Iron Shop Ankh-Morpork
Onna Hitokui Upper Broadway, The Salt Shaker Ankh-Morpork
Opp Donnderson Grunefair, Goldsmith Ankh-Morpork
Patrice Le Clair The Goose Gate (market stall) Ankh-Morpork
Phor Strict Futons Little Agatea Ankh-Morpork
Pierre Grepe Vino pour la Femme et le Homme, God’s Collar Ankh-Morpork
Placido Flamingo Pseudopolis Yard, The Stab in the Back Ankh-Morpork
Ptom Psmith East Ankh Ferry Ankh-Morpork
Radua Monev Radua Monev's Picture Shop, Grunefair Ankh-Morpork
Rattigan God's Collar, rat infested house Ankh-Morpork
Rebecca Palm Sator Square, Magical Supplies Emporium, Rebecca Palm's Clothing Ankh-Morpork
Reg Shoe Mrs Cake's house, Elm Street (Fresh Start Club, Elm Street on Thursdays at midnight) Ankh-Morpork
Renee Palm Scoone Avenue, Djinn's Famous Flying Carpets Ankh-Morpork
Rinaldo The Mouldy Cellar, Chrononhotonthologos Street Ankh-Morpork
Roffle Upper Broadway (wanders, could be as far as Sator Square) Ankh-Morpork
Roger Patrician's Palace, north of the Flame Board Ankh-Morpork
Rosa Jollity Rosa's Chocolate Emporium, Pseudopolis Yard Ankh-Morpork
Rham-tim-phoon Lobbin Clout, Flintwick Building Ankh-Morpork
Sandra Lower Broadway, Guild of Playwrights Ankh-Morpork
Sanguine Asphyxia Lobbin Clout, a rat shop Ankh-Morpork
Satchelmouth Baker Street, Guild of Musicians Ankh-Morpork
Scheda Carte Attic Bee Street, Card Shop Ankh-Morpork
Schleppel Mrs Cake's house, Elm Street (Fresh Start Club, Elm Street on Thursdays at midnight) Ankh-Morpork
Sculman The Apex Club Ankh-Morpork
Septa DeBlano Street of Small Gods, Temple of Small Gods Ankh-Morpork
Sergeant Littlebottom Pseudopolis Yard Watch House Ankh-Morpork
Sergeant Skyler Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Long Wall Watch House Ankh-Morpork
Seymour Convecks Cheesemongers Yard, The Optometrist's Ankh-Morpork
Shapaya Apartment on Grunefair Ankh-Morpork
Shazure House on Speedwell St Ankh-Morpork
Sigsbee H. Waddington Shelf Shock Shop Ankh-Morpork
Shmata Misbegot Bridge Ankh-Morpork
Sneed Finkman outside the Ankh-Morpork Post Office Ankh-Morpork
Sol Thieves' Guild Ankh-Morpork
Spanky God's Collar, Armourer Ankh-Morpork
Starspirit Moonfire Krazzander's Magik Shoppe, Cockbill Street Ankh-Morpork
Stren Withel Filigree Street, The Mended Drum Ankh-Morpork
Tarquin Houlian Occult Harry's Arcane Boutique, Body Street Ankh-Morpork
Thomas Eddiessonson Cable Street, The Forge (across the street from Cutankle's) Ankh-Morpork
Thom Crooze Pseudopolis Yard, All Bar None Ankh-Morpork
Tim La Raude Street of Cunning Artificers, La Raude's Shelf shop Ankh-Morpork
Tim Wemple Body Street, Rainbow Homeopaths Incorporated Ankh-Morpork
Too Bath Salts Little Agatea, "Bes Pelargic", Laundry House Ankh-Morpork
Trioll Negurney Quality Victuals, Trioll Negurney's Cayke Shoppe Ankh-Morpork
Turan Cattle District, Baron Street, Stylish Skullduggery Ankh-Morpork
Two-fingers McKluskey The Street of Alchemists, Guild of Alchemists Ankh-Morpork
Urotho The Pitts, The Coin Pitt Ankh-Morpork
Valerianne Elm Street, Valerianne's weapon and armour shop Ankh-Morpork
Veebeel The Street of Cunning Artificers, Veebeel's fortune telling booth Ankh-Morpork
Victoria Grotle Plaza of Broken Moons, "Get 'em while we still got 'em" shop Ankh-Morpork
Wiley Woonsocket Edgeway Road, Woonsocket's Delicatessen Ankh-Morpork
William de Worde Printing Works, The Ankh-Morpork Times, Gleam Street Ankh-Morpork
Wozza Ecksian Souvenir shop (Not on letter: south of Contract Bridge, Cheapside) Ankh-Morpork
Wun Phul Little Agatea, Wun Phul Mouth's Hunghungese Restaurant Ankh-Morpork
Yortuk Festrunk Prouts, Festrunk Brothers Ankh-Morpork
Rimpog [An attendant] Wizard Outpost [Raising Chamber], [Near Pekan Ford] Sto Plains
Squinty Jeb A Hut Sto Plains
Alberto Malich
* Albert
(no further address given but it's in the Sto Plains) Death's Domain
Aloysius Habenpfeifer Tobacco Shop Hillshire
Ruby The Blue Lias Holy Wood
Director Century of the Fruitbat Moving Pictures Holy Wood
Mrs. Cosmopilite Cosmopilite's clothes store Holy Wood
Shopkeeper (shop at the SE corner) Nowhere
gnarled old man ("I don't know his name but he's pretty old and gnarled please find him") Nowhere
Sue Pekan Village Store Pekan Ford
Tom Pekan Village Pub Pekan Ford
Valentino Valentino's Flower Stall Sheepridge
Carlton Desric - Scrogden
Findel Nordelsson Heritage Hill, Souvenir Shop Sto Lat
Fleppo Bathrobe shop, Royal Market Sto Lat
Gerard de Wendelle Wall Street, Gerard de Wendelle's evening dress shop Sto Lat
Gerti Kotzbeck Blueberry Lane, Gerti's Cake shop Sto Lat
Holly Cloverfield Royal Market, The Rock-A-Rama jewellery shop Sto Lat
Isobel Kingdom Academy of Artificers Sto Lat
Jack Straw Garlic Grove Sto Lat
Madam Miliena Garlic Grove, Olde Locket Shoppe Sto Lat
Master Gildworthy Academy of Artificers Sto Lat
Miss Armitage Queens Road Sto Lat
Miss Wylde Queens Road, Wylde's Fashionable Ladies Wear Sto Lat
Mrs Willikins-Boydle Queens Road Sto Lat
Mysteria della Noctis Queen's Road, The Dragon Emporium Sto Lat
Nils Beerman Cabbage Street, Nils Beerman's Light Store Sto Lat
Omar Amahl Cabbage Street, Omar Amahl's Jewellery Shop Sto Lat
Oncle Hamash Frozen Alley, Oncle Hamash Bookshop Sto Lat
Paul Zombo King's Road, Guard Room Sto Lat
Peter Periwinkle Hill Street, Pet Shop Sto Lat
Quinbury Soames Quirm Street, Stationer's Shop Sto Lat
Ragman Grave's Hope Sto Lat
The Proprietor (blacksmith) The Royal Market Smithy Sto Lat
Tony Robinson Cabbage Street, Tony Robinson's Bar Sto Lat

DLA: Close by; smudged address

Some letters in the address are missing. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLB: Close by; terrible handwriting

See #Deciphering. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLC: Close by; vague address

See #Inquiring.

DLD: Close by; only the city

See #Inquiring.

Far Away

The npcs far away for smudged address and terrible handwriting should be in the following table. If not please add them.

NPC Location Region
DEATH Death's realm
*(No location! Maybe because DEATH is everywhere, potentially anyway.)
Sto Plains
A maitre d' Sto Lat, The Hammered Cat Sto Plains
Fleppo Sto Lat, Bathrobe Shop Sto Plains
Hamesh Sheepridge Sto Plains
Isobel Kingdom Sto Lat, Academy of Artificers Sto Plains
Jack Straw Sto Lat, Garlic Grove Sto Plains
Gerard de Wendelle Evening Dress Shop, Wall Street, Sto Lat Sto Plains
Hughoc Gatewood Scrogden Sto Plains
Scuttle Me Own Canoe Dihbl / SMOC Dihbl Calh-Nhad Klatch
Dil the Embalmer Djelibeybi, Embalmers' guild Klatch
Khip-en-dahl Djelibeybi, Queen Ptraci furniture shop Klatch
Master Bibh-Lat Djelibeybi, Phoenix Road, Silversmith Klatch
Merk Djelibeybi, Phoenix Road, Merk's Mephit Messengers Klatch
Ptep-ptip-ptop Djelibeybi, Pottery shop, Tsort Road Klatch
Ptik-ptak-ptoe Djelibeybi, Hourglass shop Klatch
Pugh Alighieri Djelibeybi, Sickle Street, Alcohol shop Klatch
Teh-takk-eht Djelibeybi, Temple street Klatch
Toohumi Djelibeybi, Market Street, Toohumi's Illuminations Klatch
Ug Ogg Djelibeybi, Djelian Guard Klatch
Wan-tew-iit Djelibeybi, barracks' kitchen Klatch
Arms trader Djelibeybi Harbour Klatch
Awaiting-Rain Djelibeybi Harbour Klatch
Captain Ptargos Djelibeybi Harbour, Brazen Mermaid Klatch
Fis'n-tsips Djelibeybi Harbour, Happy Melon Inn Klatch
One of them Dibblers with a long name
* May-I-be-Dipped-in-My-Own-Grease Dih-bah-lah
Djelibeybi Harbour Klatch
71-hour Ahmed Tacticum (get El Kinte Caravan from Djelibeybi) Klatch
Private Inside Leg Klatchian Foreign Legion outpost storage tent Klatch
Suhm-wil-deih Oasis, Fig Stall (tent in the southwest part of the Oasis) Klatch
Abraxas Ephebe, Rational Street Klatch
Ania Ephebe, Logical Lane, the Flaming Ram's Skull Club Klatch
Arimasticopoulous the Mosaicist Ephebe, Rational Street Alleyway Klatch
Aurinax Ephebe, Antithesis lane, jewellery repair shop Klatch
Betty Ephebe, Morporkian Tearoom (tea shop close to the Bing bank) Klatch
Endos the Listener Ephebe, Antithesis Lane Klatch
Kakia Ephebe, Logical Lane, the Flaming Ram's Skull Club Klatch
Klepton Ephebe, Ponder Alley Klatch
Maintenance man Ephebe, Citadel Klatch
Master Zosimos Ephebe, Paradox Avenue, A murky little shop
* Zosimos' Wine Shop
Klatch
Rimasticopoulous the Mosaicist Ephebe, Rational Street Alleyway Klatch
Souvlakios Ephebe, Tuvelpit Road Klatch
The owner Ephebe, Market Taverna Klatch
Xenophobios Ephebe, Logical Lane, Amaryllis' Taverna Klatch
Emile Bois, pub Vieux River
A generic Charre Bux employee Genua, Charre Bux Coffee House Vieux River
Ayna Genua, Thee Magick Boxe Vieux River
Blloddwyn Genua, 'Y Crochan Ddu' Tavern Vieux River
Brittnee Genua, Savannah Road, Brittnee's Message Tees Vieux River
Captain Merreaux Vingian Genua, Musketeers Vieux River
Cogsworth Genua, Cogsworth's Clocks, Trade Street Vieux River
David Leatherman Genua, Marketplace, Leatherworking stall Vieux River
Edna Scum Genua, The Scum Bar, Pirate Avenue Vieux River
Fredd S'Vage Genua, Calypso Street, The Baron's Hand Vieux River
Harbour Master Genua, Office near docks Vieux River
Harbour mistress Genua, underground docks Vieux River
Hotel Reception Genua, Hotel Vieux River
Jolly Roger Genua, Pirate Avenue, pirate shop Vieux River
Mamie Olivia Genua, Dead Man's Walk Vieux River
Mr Ray Genua, Tacticus Academy Vieux River
Mr Myrtle Genua, Silver Bells Silversmiths Vieux River
Myrtle Genua, Silver Bells Silversmiths Vieux River
Mrs Gogol Genua, Marketplace Vieux River
Sno-ball vendor Genua, Lovers' Walk Vieux River
Spritz Peltanque Genua, The Resting Zombie on Samedi Crescent Vieux River
Talula Genua, Talula's Tintillating Toys ([sic] shop is actually called Talula's Titillating Toys) Vieux River
The shopkeeper Genua, Chandlery in Genua Avenue Vieux River
The tipster
* Andy 'the joker' DeAngelis
* Billy 'the baker' Vanilla
* Eric 'the weasel' Episcopia
* Henry 'show me the money' DeVaughn
* Louis 'brace yourself' Guidice
* Luca 'the beard' DeBois
* Luca 'the joker' DeBois
* Michael 'the moose' Casella
* Mikey 'the falcon' Episcopia
* Sammy 'the whip' Episcopia
* Vincent 'four fingers' Accardo
* Vinnie 'two fingers' Giancana
Genua, Lady Brook Street, racecourse, grimy bar Vieux River
Thom Cru'ez Genua, Barracks Vieux River
Watch clerk Genua, Watch House Vieux River
Wounded soldier Genua, Barracks Vieux River
Cern Smith Bad Ass Ramtops
Granny Weatherwax Bad Ass (Witches' Guild) Ramtops
Gulta Smith Bad Ass Ramtops
Hanlo Shepston Bad Ass, The Forge Ramtops
Jaims Smith Bad Ass Ramtops
Kev Ogg / Mr. Ogg Bad Ass, Forge Ramtops
Martha Headlock Bad Ass, Village Shop Ramtops
Mrs Smith Bad Ass Ramtops
Cohen the Barbarian Barbarian Camp Ramtops
Fern Golly Brass Neck, Brightly coloured (toy) stall Ramtops
Granville Brass Neck, Village Shop Ramtops
Virgo Vango Brass Neck (Portrait Shop) Ramtops
Dia Shale Creel Springs Ramtops
Esther Elderbury Creel Springs Ramtops
Monster Lancre Pool Ramtops
Bestiality Carter Lancre Town Ramtops
Brother Turbil Lancre Town, lodging house Ramtops
Embezile Thatcher Lancre Town, Lancrastian Farmers' Cooperative Bank Ramtops
J. Ogg Lancre Town, forge Ramtops
giant leader land of the giants Ramtops
Len Mad Stoat, Looney Len's Pottery Shop Ramtops
Maggie Mad Stoat (beside pond) Ramtops
Nicholas Winston Mad Stoat, Winston Puppets Ramtops
Serb Unglish Mad Stoat Ramtops
Sharn Unglish Mad Stoat Ramtops
Our Wullie Mad Wolf, The Hunter's Head Ramtops
Stephan Mad Wolf, Mad Wolf Furriers Ramtops
Young Steven Mad Wolf, The Hunter's Head Ramtops
gnarled old man Nowhere (I don't know his name but he's pretty old and gnarled please find him)
Vic Ohulan-Cutash, Vic's tannery Ramtops
Twoflower the tourist Ohulan-Cutash, Fiddler's Riddle Ramtops
My poor kidnapped daughter
* beautiful female captive
Bandit camp (very dangerous) Ramtops
Allen Kingfisher Blackglass, Blackglass smithy Ramtops
Morchella Esculenta Blackglass, Undead Defence Shop Ramtops
Abbot Lobsang Listening Monks, Private quarters of the abbot Ramtops
Brother Hotpot Listening Monks, Kitchen Ramtops
Asap (Brother Asap) Monks of Cool temple (can be Cool Monks) Ramtops
Sister Bi-Bi Effenne Monks of Cool temple (can be Cool Monks) Ramtops
Sister Ti-Ti Effenne Monks of Cool temple (can be Cool Monks) Ramtops
Aggressive Pixie (Water Sprite) Razorback (Sprite Cavern) Ramtops
Gammer Nudity Razorback, Mad Gammer Nudity's cottage Ramtops
Heinz Blauhimmel Razorback, village shop Ramtops
Lichtenstein Razorback, The Inn Ramtops
Sweet Old Grandmother (My dear old grandmother) Razorback, cottage SW of the Inn Ramtops
Candice Little Slice, Quilter shop Ramtops
Cleetus Patterson Slice, Cleetus Patterson's Diuerse Supplies Ramtops
Granma Muckloe Slice Ramtops
Peggy Little Slice, Quilting shop Ramtops
Ann Celeria Slippery Hollow, Stationary Shop (from carriage stop: n,n,w,w,w,w,w,w) Ramtops
Doctor Lancreman Slippery Hollow (from carriage stop: e,e,s) Ramtops
Hardenfast Slippery Hollow (courthouse) Ramtops
Honest Dachshund
*Frank Doberman
Slippery Hollow, Moon Under Water Tavern Ramtops
Irkabod Stork Slippery Hollow (manor) Ramtops
Kortina Van Dryver
*Miss Van Dryer
Slippery Hollow (manor) Ramtops
Mr Smith (Mr Shopkeeper) Slippery Hollow, Tannery Supply Shop Ramtops
Mrs Van Carrot Slippery Hollow Ramtops
My good friend at the post office Slippery Hollow (post office) Ramtops
One and Only Manclef Slippery Hollow Ramtops
Shopkeeper Bunch Slippery Hollow (Slippery Hollow General Store) Ramtops
The Magistrate
*Magistrate Flathead
Slippery Hollow (courthouse) Ramtops
Young Bran Slippery Hollow Ramtops
Temple Guardian (templeguard) Temple of Soyin
* Warning: Watch out for auto-attacking yetis!
Ramtops
Fione mac Feegle Uberwald (Pictsie Barrows) Ramtops
The Proprietor
*shopkeeping native
Brown Islands, Souvenir Shop
*The Brown Islands, Souvenir Shop
Turnwise Ocean
Clara Escrow (Candle Cave) Uberwald
Ema Nymton Escrow (fair grounds) Uberwald
Ivor von Kaeyya Escrow (The Count's Seat, Briar Way) Uberwald
SMOH Dybbler Escrow (Mother Dybbler Potion Shop) Uberwald
Trau Mirnicht Escrow (tent in fair) Uberwald
Verkauft Keinfleisch Escrow (The Meat Pie Shoppe, Garlic Way) Uberwald
Abe A town (Unnamed town, graveyard) Uberwald
Innkeeper The Slaughtered Lamb, Unnamed town Uberwald
Spiegal Unnamed town, Ye Olde Weapons Shoppe Uberwald

DLE: Far away; smudged address

Some letters in the address are missing. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLF: Far away; terrible handwriting

See #Deciphering. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLG: Far away; vague address

See #Inquiring.

DLH: Far away; only the city

See #Inquiring.

DLI: Difficult customer

Difficult customers generally attack on sight or are very hard to reach.

Letters are limited, probably a maximum of 3-5 letters (possibly only 2) can be in circulation at any point. This means that if you log out with a letter, that's less one letter that can be delivered. If you got your hands on a letter and the target is dead, while it's entirely up to you, it might be better to hand it right back to Frank and wait that 10 minutes to get another letter rather than holding it till the NPC spawn. Certain NPCs like the smuggler captain or Triad Boss are almost always dead due to being hotspots. Please don't log out with difficult letters. You're making it hard for other fellow letter couriers.

NPC Exp Coins Location
Triad Boss Obsolete? Bes Pelargic, Medina
The Grflx 48160 &&&&&&&&&&+10000 A$25.00 Skund Forest, Large cave
Vyrt 35280 &&&&&&&&&&&+7104 S37|0de Ephebe
Spawns at A seafood-scented edge of the Harbour Market [s,w,nw,se,sw].
Avalanche Preventore
(large metallic dragon)
96000 &&&&&&&&&&+20000 A$50.00 Endless Halls (say 'Endless Halls' to Hermal of Sandelfon)
The Librarian 60000 &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30.00 Starts in the Unseen University, wanders (in L-space)
Smuggler captain 48000 &&&&&&&&&&&+9600 1M|0de Ephebe underground
Queen Shelox 56784 &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30.00 Gloomy Forest
The Clown (Ha'pennywise) 111360 &&&&&&&&&&+22500 7,5,0Gf Genua Sewers
Ice giants 96320 &&&&&&&&&&+20000 A$50.00 The Hub
Also found in the icefields surrounding the hub - which is safer for wizards and easier to recover corpses from due to the lack of background thaums.
T-shop proprietor 64000 &&&&&&&&&&+14400 1M S25|0de The Travelling shop
Bug 68640 &&&&&&&&&&+13536 LC 7|10|- Ramtops
Thursday 102959 &&&&&&&&&&+20640 43Rh A Deserted Island (Thursday's Island)
Hotan Hwoar Ni 48160 &&&&&&&&&&+12040 25Rh 10s Bes Pelargic, Sum Bing, The Snail, Hotan Hwoar Ni's Rare Armours
"Be On Your Guard" : A bug that made it possible to slip past the guarding NPCs in the Snail has been fixed.
Security guards 21924 &&&&&&&&&&&+4380 9Rh 15s Bes Pelargic, First Imperial Bank

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