Sophie Mortimer
Sophie Mortimer is a shop owner in Mad Stoat that sells witch's hats and creates custom witches' hats on demand.
Sophie Mortimer This young woman has a face like a sour crabapple. For her age, there are many wrinkles, mostly in her forehead area. Little beady eyes peek out from under a floppy fringe and her mouth seems to move even when she is silent. She is in good shape. She is standing. Wearing : a pair of soft leather shoes, a sensible black cotton dress and a witch's pointy hat.
Contents
Ordering
You say 'order' in morporkian to start the ordering process. You can say 'stop' to stop ordering.
At each step except the first, the options are not presented unless you say 'list' to have a written list in morporkian presented to you. You have to say what you choose.
Sophie claims that all her hats are houseproof and that they're all proper witches' hats but that Granny only recognizes the black ones as such.
The hats produced probably all weigh 2/9 lb, but only cotton and rubber have been confirmed.
Type
There are two types of hats that Sophie makes, which slightly alter the description of the item.
| Type | Description |
|---|---|
| traditional | Your traditional <colour> witches' hat will look like this:
This <length>, <colour> traditional witches' hat has been fashioned from <material>. It has been trimmed with some <sparkly bits> and the <brim qualifier> brim circling it makes it all the more impressive, positively demanding respect, playing on the fact it is made with the <style> style in mind. The traditional <colour> witches' hat has one inside pocket. |
| modern | Your modern <colour> witches' hat will look like this:
This <length>, <colour> modern witches' hat has been fashioned from <material>. It has been trimmed with some <sparkly bits> and is made with the <style> style in mind. The <brim qualifier> brim circling it enhances the stylish hat, and adds to the eye-catching item. The modern <colour> witches' hat has one inside pocket. |
Brim qualifier
You then choose an adjective to describe the type of brim:
uncompromising immovable crooked flabby rigid squat unbendable billowing sagging narrow fixed loopy inflexible unbending pressed floppy stiff broad unshakable unshapely bulging droopy tight firm unyielding stubborn fitting medium arced flat unswayable battered smooth slack thick
Length
You then choose an adjective to describe the length of the hat:
high-reaching undersized sky-high compact stubby rangy tall pocket-sized pint-sized elevated little chunky squat tiny altitudinous beanstalk dwarfed skimpy alpine great big skyscraping sawed-off squatty slight dumpy runty low abbreviated towering stunted stocky giant small wee diminutive thickset soaring petite lofty short
Sparkly bits
You then choose some decorations to put on the hat or none.
occult designs embroidery feathers flowers sashes bows pickled fruit fruitbats baubles sequins veils bats gingerbread filigree tinsels tassels corks none black cats fretwork ribbons dragons beads spiderwebs trinkets buckles frills lace
Colour
You then choose a colour of the hat.
pale primrose yellow bright green slate grey ash grey sienna Brindisian orange silvery blue blue black rose red orange soft Genuan blue forest green light pink lavender peach blushed lavender lemon yellow aquamarine ruby red black luxurious black supple black bright red sky-blue azure cornflower blue sable black pearl grey wine red ivory seamstress pink raven black true white obsidian ebony dark turquoise dark silver pale green burgundy lilac chestnut brown shiny black chartreuse fuchsia green speedwell blue Genuan blue jet black magenta sepia moonlight grey sooty black pale blue peridot white charcoal black pewter grey dark grey scarlet cream midnight black deep purple ivy green indigo brown eggshell blue olive green dark blue garnet pink twilight blue apple white ink black yellow grey flamingo pink dusty black sin black violet onyx dark lavender cobalt blue baby pink purple jade raindrop grey dusty rose pale rose silver gold marbled white blackberry sea green bronze blue clouded grey coal black cerulean tartan plum golden brown dark green dark red copper red
Material
You then choose the material for the hat.
cotton twill leather rubber cotton straw wool lace rabbit fur velvet canvas suede satin silk felt
The material selected wildly changes the price asked.
Style
You can then choose a for the hat or none.
loose-fitting iridescent feathery Ecksian formal suave torn overpowering shimmering crinkled crinkly classy faded sexy Uberwaldean Morporkian sinister Agatean simple small damp understated colourful starched stylish Omnian puffy none aerodynamic oversized sensible elegant cursed large cute ill-fitting Klatchian Ephebian ruffled Genuan sleek big frightening masculine Tsortian magical lanky roomy comfortable homespun patched quilted sheer lacy Hunghungese majestic foolish demure saucy soft Lancrastian feminine ominous sporty stiff ugly impressive innocent Djelian fluffy shiny dark
