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Ankh-Morpork map by Airk & Kefka updated for Quow's Cow Bar
Ankh-Morpork Underdocks & Ankh river by Airk & Kefka updated for Quow's Cow Bar
Ankh-Morpork Temples by Kefka updated for Quow's Cow Bar
Isle of Gods map by Kefka updated for Quow's Cow Bar
AM Buildings map by Kefka updated for Quow's Cow Bar
Ankh-Morpork Non-Player Guilds by Kefka updated for Quow's Cow Bar
Ankh-Morpork "Bloody Stupid" Johnson's Cruets (Salt Shaker & Pepper Pot) by Kefka


Ankh-Morpork, Ankh-Morpork, the city so good they called it Ankh-Morpork. It is the biggest city on the Unnamed continent, where pollution is so bad that you can walk on parts of the Ankh river. Crime became legal and regulated by the Thieves' Guild, allowing but limiting thieft. It is subject to outbreaks of comedic violence and brouhaha on a fairly regular basis. Ankh-Morpork is also the mercantile capital of the Discworld.

It is the recommended starting area for new players. It is a generally safe excluding danger areas such as the Shades and the Alchemist's Guild. All five types of guilds can be found in Ankh-Morpork. There is a vast variety of different eateries and shops for any staunch consumer. Numerous activities and quests can be done in Ankh-Morpork. Ankh-Morpork is the center of player activity and lots of player owned operations are rooted there. You can buy a player owned house in Morkpork and there are several bank and vault locations.

Features of Ankh-Morpork

  • The Mended Drum
  • The Palace, where you can create clubs and families, and read the non-guild boards
  • Thespians' Yard, where you can watch plays written by players, write your own plays, participate in the management of Dysk Theatre or drink at the Actor's guild.
  • The Apothecary Gardens, where you can join Pishe, buy more lives, or simply swim around
  • A real estate agency where you can bid to rent a house or shop
  • Offices for both in-game Newspapers, where you can buy papers or do reporter/editor activites
  • Two vaults where you can store your items--Nella's south of the Plaza of Broken Moons, and Jonas's in the north part of the city, somewhat east of centre, on The Ridings
  • The Shades, where you can get your weapons stolen and your throat slit
  • The Assassins' Guild Library, where books written and submitted by any player may be read
  • Placing a heart on the low altar in the temple of Seven Handed Sek will grant a temporary strength bonus

Ankh-Morpork also has a place for each guild:

Crime and Punishment

  • Ankh-Morpork Council rules
  • Theft except by thieves on quota is punished by being heavied by the Thieves Guild heavies (npcs) with escalating punishments for repeated offenses.
    • This includes confiscating your money and/or your entire inventory. Confiscated possession can be bought back from the thieves guild's Heavy Shop.
    • Going to jail for stealing does not clear the pending punishment from the Thieves Guild heavies the next time they recognize you.
  • Witches singing the Hedgehog Song get prosecuted by the musicians' guild enforcer who does not refrain from corporal punishment including making you pass out, broken legs and contracts with the Guild of Assassins.
  • Various other things are punishable by the Watch if you are seen doing them. (Watchmen will pursue you and tell you to surrender/give up and then attack you after a short wait. You can "give up", at which point you're sent to jail for a time (which varies based on what you did and how much), then let out.) See below.
  • You can also turn yourself in at the main hall of Pseudopolis Yard.
Charge[1] Achieved by Jail time[2]
resisting arrest not giving up soon enough when they try to arrest you 1 minute
insulting an officer of the Watch Repeatedly using certain souls on a watchman. Souls include: moon, poke, slap 5 minutes
molestation / molesting a <gender> officer of the watch / molesting a <gender> watch officer / molesting a watch officer See the "felt the force" achievement 5 minutes
vandalism / malicious vandalism of a valuable public service tearing down a Wanted poster or throwing things at street lights 2 minutes 30 seconds
fighting in public / obstructing an officer of the Watch in the execution of his or her duty by fighting in public fighting an npc in front of a watchman for too long 2 minutes 30 seconds
impersonating a watchman / wearing the official badge of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch despite not being employed by aforementioned organisation wearing an AMCW badge[3] 2 minutes 30 seconds
bribery / attempting to bribe an Officer of the Watch trying to give money to a watchman repeatedly[4] 2 minutes 30 seconds
public miming / miming in front of an officer of the Watch using the "mime" soul 5 minutes
attacking an officer of the Watch / assaulting an officer of the Watch and disturbing him or her in the execution of his or her duty attacking a watchman 5 minutes
murder / the murder of <npc name> killing an npc 5 minutes
killing an officer of the Watch Killing a watchman. The watchman reports the crime as he dies.  ?
jailbreaking lockpicking your way out of a cell, dying in a cell while serving a sentence  ?
assisting in a jailbreak / manipulating property of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch with the intent of breaking convicted criminals out of jail lockpicking a cell from the outside, regardless of whether anyone is in it 2 minutes 30 seconds
unlicensed theft stealing without a license  ?
assaulting a public servant  ?  ?
attempted murder attacking/killing a town crier  ?
tampering with watch property cracking watchhouse safes  ?

While the jail time stacks to some degree (so that, for example, two counts of miming will get you twice as much time as only one count), it appears that you can only be sentenced to up to 3 hours and 20 minutes Disc time (an hour real time) at once.

You can type 'call for guard' to check how much jail time you have and the bail you need to pay to get out.

You can bail yourself or someone else out. This costs $25, plus an additional $25 for every 16-17 minutes (or 5 minutes in real time) remaining on the sentence.

See also


  1. The name of the charge can vary depending on whether it's being said by an officer trying to arrest you, told to you when you're thrown in jail, or on a wanted poster, and possibly based on other factors as well.
  2. In real time
  3. If you're still wearing the badge when you're thrown in jail, it will be confiscated and not returned.
  4. They warn you twice before trying to arrest you. They reject the give offers.

External Links