The witches' guild is a gathering of crones and hags, biddies and busybodies, pagans and practitioners of the occult. Members of this guild are well versed in occult spellcasting, the preparation of potions, and the mysterious and womanly art of 'headology'.
Joining the guild
Granny considers sexual equality as something that happens to other people (usually Nanny Ogg), therefore she will only permit women to join the guild. Gennie Applebottom in Ankh-Morpork can provide gender-reassigment assistance for males wishing to join the guild.
The witches guild is to be found in the witches cottages scattered about the disc. These cottages are generally concentrated in the Ramtops area of the disc; however, there is at least one cottage in every major city (Except Djelibeybi - where there is a wandering caravan instead of a cottage and in Uberwald where there is the wandering cottage that walks in the forest near Escrow).
Unique amongst all guilds, the witches guild does not have any subdivisions - all witches are simply 'members of the witches guild'.
Titles and rank
The following titles can be used by witches who ask Granny nicely about them: Aunty, Biddy, Black, Gammer, Goodie, Goody, Gramma, Granny, Mama, Mistress, Mother, Mss, Nanna, Nanny, Old, Sister, Wee, Wicked and Young.
Unlike other guilds, witches do not have ranks based on guild levels. All witches are simply listed as '<player> the Witch'. An indication of a witch's guild level can, however, be determined by looking at her - a witch gains one wart for every 10 guild levels they possess.
Granny's in charge, and she takes care to ensure everyone knows it. There is no player-based hierarchy or privileges, there are no elections.
Every once in a while are held the Witch Trials, an event where all witches are invited to come and show some tricks they've been preparing. Lately there has been other types of performances like mocks and fruitbat competition.
Witches have a wide variety of guild-specific abilities available to them:
Witches are magic users, capable of casting their own magical spells in similar fashion to the wizards. Witch magic tends to be less combat-oriented than wizard magic: there are a handful of offensive/defensive witch spells and a large selection of miscellaneous spells.
Witches can brew a variety of potions, with effects ranging from healing the drinker to curing them of their ailments. Potions are commonly sold by witches to player shops, and form a major portion of most witches' income.
Novice witches may ask Gennie Applebottom in Ankh-Morpork for a Taliswoman. This item allows witches up to level 20 to transport themselves between Ankh-Morpork and Granny Weatherwax's Cottage. Experienced witches have their own special means of transportation, the broomstick, with which they can fly to remembered locations, players and named unique NPCs.
Witches can squint at others, causing a variety of effects from damage to encouragement to uncertainty.
The following are the commands available exclusively to members of this guild:
- Brew - make helpful potions
- Circle - create a temporary magic circle
- Educe - learn witch spells or tricks from hag stones
- Fade - fade in the foreground
- Forget - remove spells, tricks and squints from your mind
- Gaze - see someone far away
- Hedgehog - singing and dancing for everyone!
- Imbue - set witch spells and tricks in hag stones
- Mock - galvanize people through verbal malignancy
- Splint - Brace a broken leg so that it heals over time
- Squint - get your way with ocular mastery
- Squints (really just a part of Squint and learned with it)
- Tempt - force people to eat (not at all poisoned) fruits
Many commands like fade are acquired automagically when increasing some skills.
- It is best to ask once in a while in case you can learn new commands.
- It is unclear if commands learned this way could have appeared on their own when increasing skills and vice versa.
Witches can also "glare at <fire furniture>" to lit it up.
Jorodin's Magnificent Communicator is an exception: it is a weird spell that can be learned by educing a hag stone sold by Jorodin. It is not taught by Granny.
The following are the spells that can be memorized by members of this guild.
- Banishing of Prying Eyes
- Banishing of Unnatural Urges
- Grammer Scorbic's Household Guard
- Mama Kolydina's Instant Infestation
- Wee Flaudia's Fluffy Ear Muffs
- Banishing of Loquacious Spirits
- Biddy Amble's Bee Buzzer
- Delusions of Grandeur
- Gammer Shorga's Clever Creeper
- Gammer Tumult's Amalgamator
- Goodie Whemper's Apple Divination
- Granny Beedle's Cooperative Credits
- Granny Benedict's Bond of Loyalty
- Granny Lipintense's Layer of Lard
- Hag's Blessing
- Jorodin's Magnificent Communicator
- Mama Blackwing's Potent Preserver
- Mother Harblist's Fruity Flyer
- Mother Twinter's Yarrow Enchantment
- Nanny Revere's Traitorous Talisman
For a table with more information on the spells see witch spells.
The following are the primary skills for this guild:
- Broomsticks and fly-tos
- Idlechasing for witches
- Sources of fruit
- Witches' Guild official potion shop
- Giant fruitbats
- Magick crystals
- List of spell nicknames
- List of witch cottages
- List of witch NPC
- Witch Trials
- Discworld MUD official website: the Witches' Guild
The Discworld Witches Guild by Rhonda D'Vine (originally Clover Withycombe)Broken link - archive
- The Witches of Discworld by Aniline Skyblade
- GrannyMi's Discworld Site
- Caya's Wet Hennes Guide 
- Gunde's Discworld Site (focus tea results!)
- Thistle's The New Wet Hennes Guide
- Lords and Ladies
- This command can actually be learned by everyone but it is only of use to witches and wizards.