View source for Witch Trials, 2011-02-12

This edition of the [[Witch Trials]] was held in the field with [[Unlucky Charlie]] the scarecrow in [[Lancre]].

It was organized and hosted by QiuYan.

It started around at 12:05 pm GMT on Saturday February 12th and lasted until approximately 14:50 pm GMT on the 12th. 

You can see [http://dwtrials2011.blogspot.com/ QiuYan's full log here] or [https://sites.google.com/site/dwtrials2011/home here].

==Performances==

The performances presented at the trials are recorded here per category in the order presented at the trials.

===Mocking competition===
Every witch was invited to perform up to two mocks which would inspire the mocked to greater efforts.

Please be advised that some minor details of these performances have been touched up by specially trained imps to correct the imperfections introduced by the auditors of reality.

====Frazyl's Circling Mock====
<pre>
You loudly say: You call that circling, Unlucky Charlie?  Why even a square looks more like a circle than what you just did! What were you thinking when drawing all those spikes? And that chimney?! I'm not even going to ask about the fur and the twenty little gnomes eating ice cream from a cornucopia! I wasn't going to mention the rainbows and unicorns but they actually look pretty nice, except for the fact that they have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with it. The abomination you created is so far from what being a circle is that it's fallen right off through the other side of circleness! I shall call it an Elcric and when it slinks out of the Dungeon Dimensions looking for you, remember you'll have to feed it and take care of it! Creating abominations is not just fun and games, you have to take care of what you create.

Unlucky Charlie looks determined to try harder.
</pre>

====Adrelawen's First Watching Mock====
<pre>
Young Adrelawen loudly exclaims: You call that watching, Unlucky Charlie?  Frankly, I'm surprised that you've even shown the gumption to attempt such a thing. Granny Weatherwax will be hearing about this, you mark my words. In fact, she's probably hiding somewhere round here right now, having a darn good laugh at your expense. You really should consider taking up a career in the comedy circuit, you could make good money giving folk a laugh o'that calibre. But you'd have to watch out if Nanny Ogg was in the front row, I bet she wouldn't have put her teeth in. What nonsense!

Unlucky Charlie looks determined to try harder.
</pre>

====Xole's Slashing Mock====
<pre>
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly exclaims with a Lancrastian accent: You call that slashing, Unlucky Charlie?  I've seen CMOT Dibbler Slash prices harder than that! Oh I'm sorry, did you just join Fish? Think you're supposed to get them a bit wet are ye? That's SPLASH yer moron! And from the looks of it that'll prolly do more than your prancing and waving--at least they might catch a cold! I bet you couldn't even land a role as understudy to the villain for that new slasher moving picture, after they saw what you couldn't do! Why our own Olde Mother Dismass can slash five onions with a flick of her wrist, and she's blind! Ah..well maybe you do remind me a bit of her--I get TEARS when I watch yer slash. Now learn to do it proper before you embrass yerself more!

Unlucky Charlie looks determined to try harder.
</pre>

====Xole's Deluded Object Mock====
<pre>
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly exclaims with a Lancrastian accent: You call yerself a talisman, you silly little bug?  I've seen misspellings worse than you! Err. Why I bet if I syntaxed you, I prolly get bug object pathetic! When Lanfear got her daft self killed 13 times and it showered money all around? Now THAT was a bug! Err. When that old crook of a Patrician had to turn over imp-so-matic recordings made by his spies in Ankh-Gate? That THERE we're talking about some fine bugs! You are but a wette gel of a bug! Uhm. Why don't you go take a lesson from Noobie and Ryattenoki before you come back and bug me. I'm THREW with yer!

The bug deflates sadly as its illusions of being a talisman are shattered.
</pre>

====Earwax's Bashing Mock====
<pre>
Black Earwax Pus loudly exclaims with a D'reg accent: You call that bashing, Unlucky Charlie?  You call that bashing? That's not a bash. A bash is what Nanny Ogg and the Lancre Ooozer do every Hogswatchnight! It's not just bouncing around, hopeing to get in a light tap. It's going at it full steam like Jason Ogg in his forge with Beastiality Carter and the rest of the Morris dancers. Now put some spirit into it!

Unlucky Charlie looks determined to try harder.
</pre>

====Nashina's Abjuring Mock====
<pre>
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: You call that abjuring, Unlucky Charlie?  You call that abjuring? I don't know what abjuring is, but back in my day we didn't just go around abjuring things. Or if we did, we'd do it properly. I'm pretty sure that whatever you just tried to do was neither proper nor proper! I mean, proper in both meanings. Like appropriate, and correct. See, you young people are always getting confused about things like that. You ought to know better. Back in my day we had three words for everything. Wotcher, dearie and lawks! And now what do you see all those hip young witches saying all the time? "Yo, what up, dog." Now I don't know about you people but I think that's just incredible. I don't know how you freaks manage to remember so many different words. Actually, how am I doing that right now? I need more scumble. Someone get me some scumble. Hop to it, you freaky hip young dog, you.

Unlucky Charlie looks determined to try harder.
</pre>

====Adrelawen's Second Watching Mock====
<pre>
Young Adrelawen loudly exclaims: You call that watching, Unlucky Charlie?  Just watching you do that is embarrassing. Your very presence is enough to drag down the skill level of everyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room as you. Old Gammer Scorbic would never have put up with this sort of nonsense in her day, and quite rightly so. You should be ashamed to even show your face in public. If it weren't for the fact that I can't even be bothered, I'd teach you how to do it properly myself. Hah!

Unlucky Charlie looks determined to try harder.
</pre>

<p>[[#toc|^ Back to top]]</p>

===Tricks FreeStyle 1-2 stages===

====Arcadia's Garlic Grower====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Arcadia gazes with rapt attention at the garlic in her hands.  She seems to be channeling the spirit of the dead plant.
Arcadia reaches out to the living spirits of the garlic in the earth.  She whispers encouragement to the plants growing around her, gently coaxing them to grow a little taller, stand up a little straighter, reach up toward the light.
Arcadia feels confident that she can more easily gather garlic.
</pre>

====Kyr's Bewitching Tail====
Antiquated Kyr asks with a Lancrastian accent: This one's a subtle one.. are you watching carefully?

You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Kyr's tail twitches and wavers enchantingly.
You feel a sense of inner peace and harmony.
</pre>

====Farrah's Reverse Dandelion====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Farrah holds up a dandelion stalk, convoking its lost seeds to come and gather around it.
Farrah flutters enchanting eyelids at the dandelion stalk.
Yellow petals creep from the stalk, slowly enveloping the seeds, until the dandelion appears in full bloom once more.
</pre>

<p>[[#toc|^ Back to top]]</p>

===Tricks FreeStyle 3-5 stages===

====Frazyl's Thoughtless Obliviousness====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Frazyl looks pensive for a while, seemingly channeling all the darkness nearby near herself.
Frazyl's quietly curses the powers of awareness, warning them to stay away from her if they know what's good for them.
Frazyl wards herself to abjure anything trying to make her more visible.
As Frazyl carefully strokes Binky's horseshoe, you feel the power of Death's fear being evoked.
Frazyl firmly holds a bunch of air in front of herself as if to bind it into something more tangible and cloaks herself within it.
Suddenly, you can't seem to see Frazyl anymore. Funny, she was here just a second ago. You have a faint feeling that there's something here too terrible for your mind to grasp, but it passes.
</pre>

====Thistle's Enchantments====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Thistle moves her body in an such enchanting fashion casting webs of enchantment over everyone and everything in the room. All other enchantments seem to dissapear into the background as this enchanting creature enchants you heart.
Thistle's enchantment is so enchantingly provocative and enchanting that your eyes are permantly glued to her body.
Threads of enchantment invisible unskilled eyes start to spread out from Thistle and start to enchantingly embrace your heart.
As you watch Thistle she convokes all your love and admiration to flow into her. Every witness is convoked to worship her.
You get down on one knee and pledge your undying love to Thisle.
</pre>

====Xole's Undead Vengeance====
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: Everr wonderr what to do about all thoshe GITSH who rruin a perrfectly good day on the Dishc? Well wonderr no morre! With Xole Xurrvivorr'sh Undyin' Vengeance, you'll shurre shhow thoshe kill-shtealin'-chicken-nabbin'-earrmuffin' noobsh who'sh top hag!
(pleasheusherreshponshiblyxsholexshurrvivorrishnotliableforranyshhenaniganshasharreshultofusheofherrtrrick)

You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Xole Xurvivor lays her cursed voodoo doll on the floor, then dances around madly as she pours grey dust from a small waxed packet in a circle around the doll. Perhaps it was a gust of wind, but you swear that you saw a tiny voodoo leg twich.
Xole Xurvivor floats a tiny eyeball above the voodoo doll, and whispers sweet nothings as she channels magical energies into the doll. Without warning the voodoo doll makes a tiny almost adorable shriek before leaping up and grabbing the eyeball!
Like a squirrel, Xole Xurvivor's doll clutches the eyeball in both hands and noisily eats it, then turns its little enchanted head towards Unlucky Charlie. Uh-oh, perhaps Unlucky Charlie shouldn't have said nasty things about hags? One thing they are not, is forgiving.
Unlucky Charlie yelps loudly as the doll lurches forward with speed and chomps his ankle! Unlucky Charlie shudders and suddenly craves braaaaaains! The little doll crawls up to his shoulder and lisps, "Nesst time, sshow ssome resspect!".
</pre>

You squint at Charlie.

Unlucky Charlie fidgets uncomfortably.

Unlucky Charlie finally tells you: This is what I saw:
<pre>
Xole Xurvivor lays her cursed voodoo doll on the floor, then dances around madly as she pours grey dust from a small waxed packet in a circle around the doll. Perhaps it was a gust of wind, but you swear that you saw a tiny voodoo leg twich.
Xole Xurvivor floats a tiny eyeball above the voodoo doll, and whispers sweet nothings as she channels magical energies into the doll. Without warning the voodoo doll makes a tiny almost adorable shriek before leaping up and grabbing the eyeball!
Like a squirrel, Xole Xurvivor's doll clutches the eyeball in both hands and noisily eats it, then turns its little enchanted head towards you. Uh-oh, perhaps you shouldn't have said nasty things about hags? One thing they are not, is forgiving.
You yelp loudly as the doll lurches forward with speed and chomps your ankle! You shudder and suddenly crave braaaaaains! The little doll crawls up to your shoulder and lisps, "Nesst time, sshow ssome resspect!".
</pre>

====Gwyndrith's Dirty Witch====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Gwyndrith gets a divining twig from her pack and, grasping it in both hands, begins to slowly wander around whilst concentrating on the twig for any sign of movement.
Suddenly the twig twitches. Putting down the twig Gwyndrith gets a little trowel from her pack and starts digging in the earth.
There is a gurgling noise and Gwyndrith hastily steps back as water begins to trickle out of the ground.
Gwyndrith frowns and decides to dig a little bit deeper. The gurgling gets louder and then with a woosh a huge fountain spurts high into the air.
Smiling, Gwyndrith stands under the fountain and begins to wash herself.
</pre>

<p>[[#toc|^ Back to top]]</p>

===Themed Tricks: Rabbit Rabbit!===

====Arcadia's Foo Fighter====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Arcadia dramatically raises a carrot and points it at Unlucky Charlie. She watches him cower in fear as she chants menacingly, "FEE! FEE! FIE! FIE! FOE! FOE! FOO! FOO!" Booming thuds shake the ground, causing Unlucky Charlie to tremble like a field mouse.
Arcadia beckons to something behind you. The ugliest rabbit you've ever seen hops into view: ten feet tall, eyepatch, one ear torn off, brass hoop in the other, leather vest with "DO the FOO" on the back, obscene curses shaved into the fur.
The earth shudders as the giant rabbit lands and snatches the carrot from Arcadia. It sits on its haunches, chuckles nastily, and scoops Unlucky Charlie up by the neck with a big paw.  It raises its other paw for the blow...
BOP! Unlucky Charlie's head droops from the impact. The rabbit sniggers and ponderously hops away. You think you glimpse a tiny skeletal figure in a black robe just as Unlucky Charlie's body crumples.
</pre>

You squint at Charlie.

Unlucky Charlie fidgets uncomfortably.

Unlucky Charlie finally tells you: This is what I saw:
<pre>
Arcadia dramatically raises a carrot and points it at you. She watches you cower in fear as she chants menacingly, "FEE! FEE! FIE! FIE! FOE! FOE! FOO! FOO!" Booming thuds shake the ground, causing you to tremble like a field mouse.
Arcadia beckons to something behind you. The ugliest rabbit you've ever seen hops into view: ten feet tall, eyepatch, one ear torn off, brass hoop in the other, leather vest with "DO the FOO" on the back, obscene curses shaved into the fur.
The earth shudders as the giant rabbit lands and snatches the carrot from Arcadia. It sits on its haunches, chuckles nastily, and scoops you up by the neck with a big paw.  It raises its other paw for the blow...
BOP! Your head droops from the impact. The rabbit sniggers and ponderously hops away. You think you glimpse a tiny skeletal figure in a black robe just as your body crumples.
</pre>

====Xole Xurvivor's Auriental Leporine Surprise====
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly exclaims with a Lancrastian accent: Ever want to show a friend a good time? Platonically? As strange as the concept may be, Xole Xurvivor's Auriental Leporine surprise may be the answer to how to impress your friend with an old fashioned good time!

Competent Xole Xurvivor gets a chef's hat, a shot glass of scumble, a dried funny looking carrot and a dried handful of egg noodles from a pocket in a close-fitting black leather bag.

Competent Xole Xurvivor gets a traditional scroll painting of a child and a rabbit from a pocket in a close-fitting black leather bag.

You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Xole Xurvivor imbues the funny looking carrot with mystical deliciousness and waggles the enchanting bait at the traditional scroll painting of a child and a rabbit. The rabbit leaps out of it with a tiny pop! It looks up at Xole Xurvivor and Unlucky Charlie expectantly.
Xole Xurvivor tells the rabbit, "Alphonse, two of your specialties, please!" Alphonse nods as Xole Xurvivor gives the rabbit some noodles, a shot of scumble, and a chef's hat. The rabbit puts on the chef's hat and drains the scumble: Fire burns in Alphonse's eyes!
Cursing in rabbit and working like a demon, Alphonse zips to-and-fro gathering exotic herbs and stir frying the noodles with speed only a magical hare hopped on scumble can possess! Xole Xurvivor tries to assure Unlucky Charlie that this is all very normal.
Finally finished, Alphonse presents one exquisite bowl of chow mein to Unlucky Charlie and Xole each. Unlucky
Charlie breaks down in tears, overwhelmed by perfection. He whispers in awe, "a double-chow-mein-bowl! It...it's so beautiful! What does it mean?!?".
</pre>

You squint at Charlie.

Unlucky Charlie fidgets uncomfortably.

Unlucky Charlie finally tells you: This is what I saw:
<pre>
Xole Xurvivor imbues the funny looking carrot with mystical deliciousness and waggles the enchanting bait at the traditional scroll painting of a child and a rabbit. The rabbit leaps out of it with a tiny pop! It looks up at Xole Xurvivor and you expectantly.
Xole Xurvivor tells the rabbit, "Alphonse, two of your specialties, please!" Alphonse nods as Xole Xurvivor gives the rabbit some noodles, a shot of scumble, and a chef's hat. The rabbit puts on the chef's hat and drains the scumble: Fire burns in Alphonse's eyes!
Cursing in rabbit and working like a demon, Alphonse zips to-and-fro gathering exotic herbs and stir frying the noodles with speed only a magical hare hopped on scumble can possess! Xole Xurvivor tries to assure you that this is all very normal.
Finally finished, Alphonse presents one exquisite bowl of chow mein to you and Xole each. You break down in tears, overwhelmed by perfection. You whisper in awe, "a double-chow-mein-bowl! It...it's so beautiful! What does it mean?!?".
</pre>

====Earwax Pus's Tobacco Road Playbunny====
Black Earwax Pus exclaims with a D'reg accent: My spell is called Tobacco Road Playbunny and apparently hares on the disc don't have lips!

You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Earwax Pus chants, 'Little bunny Foo-Foo hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head'.
Earwax Pus rubs the tobacco and hare teeth together while cursing, 'Hare today, goon tomorrow.'
Earwax Pus smears the tobacco on Unlucky Charlie's lips while summoning his inner playbunny.
Unlucky Charlie's lips stretch into a wide sexy grin as a hairlip grows from the corners of his mouth all the way past his nostrils.  Too bad the look's only fleeting.  Unlucky Charlie could use a turnip, you think.
</pre>

You squint at Charlie.

Unlucky Charlie fidgets uncomfortably.

Unlucky Charlie finally tells you: This is what I saw:
<pre>
Earwax Pus chants, 'Little bunny Foo-Foo hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head'.
Earwax Pus rubs the tobacco and hare teeth together while cursing, 'Hare today, goon tomorrow.'
Earwax Pus smears the tobacco on your lips while summoning your inner playbunny.
Your lips stretch into a wide sexy grin as a hairlip grows from the corners of your mouth all the way past your nostrils.  Too bad the look's only fleeting.  you could use a turnip, you think.
</pre>

Black Earwax Pus says with a D'reg accent: Also, the hare teeth components weren't working, so the spell had to do without

====Nashina's Rabbitty Magic Trick====
You gaze into the crystal ball and see:
<pre>
Nashina Nanananannanana announces loudly in a practiced chant that she will now perform an incredible magic trick.
Nashina Nanananannanana removes her hat, showing it to everyone in a melodramatic sweep, before briefly offering it to Unlucky Charlie for closer inspection. Nashina Nanananannanana then conjures a rabbit effortlessly and places it inside the hat.
Nashina Nanananannanana mutters and mumbles while waving her spare hand in the air over the hat. Then, suddenly, Nashina Nanananannanana whisks the hat up onto her head and holds it down firmly for a few seconds.
When the hat on her head finally stops moving, Nashina Nanananannanana roars and viciously skewers it with a long, very sharp-looking hatpin. Unlucky Charlie shouts a curse in surprise, shock and disgust.
As if by magic, the rabbit suddenly appears again, clambering out of Unlucky Charlie's left ear. It twitches its nose in surprise at the crowd before squeaking and skipping away.
</pre>

You squint at Charlie.

Unlucky Charlie fidgets uncomfortably.

Unlucky Charlie finally tells you: This is what I saw:
<pre>
Nashina Nanananannanana announces loudly in a practiced chant that she will now perform an incredible magic trick.
Nashina Nanananannanana removes her hat, showing it to everyone in a melodramatic sweep, before briefly offering it to you for closer inspection. Nashina Nanananannanana then conjures a rabbit effortlessly and places it inside the hat.
Nashina Nanananannanana mutters and mumbles while waving her spare hand in the air over the hat. Then, suddenly, Nashina Nanananannanana whisks the hat up onto her head and holds it down firmly for a few seconds.
When the hat on her head finally stops moving, Nashina Nanananannanana roars and viciously skewers it with a long, very sharp-looking hatpin. you shouts a curse in surprise, shock and disgust.
As if by magic, the rabbit suddenly appears again, clambering out of your left ear. It twitches its nose in surprise at the crowd before squeaking and skipping away.
</pre>

<p>[[#toc|^ Back to top]]</p>

===Hedgehog Song Competition===

====Frazyl's verse with an obsession for creatures magical====
<pre>
Nasty Frazyl sings: You can seduce a dolphin with playful positions,
Nasty Frazyl sings: Enrapturing a unicorn is quite an operation,
Nasty Frazyl sings: Going with a phoenix ends in a fireball,
Nasty Frazyl sings: But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Nasty Frazyl drinks the shot glass of scumble with a look of mixed pleasure and regret.

Nasty Frazyl says: You can sheduce a dolphin with playful poshitionsh,
Nasty Frazyl says: Enrrapturrin' a unicorrn ish quite an operration,
Nasty Frazyl says: Goin' with a phoenixsh endsh in a firreball,
Nasty Frazyl says: But the hedgehog can neverr be buggerred at all.

Nasty Frazyl bows gracefully.
</pre>

====Nashina's verses with a thing for her fellow Witches====
<pre>
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: Last minute writing's a fun thing to do
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: I'll admit in this case it is somewhat taboo
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: But I made an effort so be glad, you all
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: A hedgehog could never be buggered at all

Murse Nashina Nanananannanana frolics all around.

Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: I feel pretty proud of the witches who tried
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: Who bitched on the talker, who moaned and who cried
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: The effort put in was by no means quite small
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: It's not like a hedgehog would bother at all

Murse Nashina Nanananannanana skips around happily.

Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: In my own defence I was busy 'til now
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: I had an exam then I got drunk somehow
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: But here I am singing here for you all
Murse Nashina Nanananannanana loudly says with a Genuan accent: Yet a hedgehog would never be buggered at all

Murse Nashina Nanananannanana bows witchily.
</pre>

====Arcadia's verses with Marsupial-love====
<pre>
Literate Arcadia says: You'll get tail from a rabbit that's fluffy and soft, bush from a squirrel tail up in his loft, brush from the tail of an ox in his stall, but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Literate Arcadia says: You might flank a flamingo, if pink is your thing, or quicken a quail and teach it to sing, or cuckold a cuckoo whose clock's on the wall, but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Literate Arcadia says: You can hunt down a wumpus and give it a nail, or hunt up a snipe and put salt on its tail. You can pitch to a cricket, if you're on the ball, but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Literate Arcadia exclaims: A wallaby's pouch is a pretty big hole; an ocelot's den's a good place for a pole.  The pelican's throat can take quite a haul, but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Literate Arcadia bows.
</pre>

====Xole's verses with her Sucking Leeches====
<pre>
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly exclaims with a Lancrastian accent: it's kinda long, so you buggers listen up!

Competent Xole Xurvivor clears her throat and takes a sip of scumble...she shrugs and chugs the whole bottle instead! Then she begins to sing (more of a loud roar, really) in a leery, drunken stupor:

Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: A frog gladly ribbits, when you gladly rib it,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: A buffalo shan't resist if you madly tip it.
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: Even a treant, macabre, and requiring a saw,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: The result I think you'll find will appall:
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly exclaims with a Lancrastian accent: The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: With a leech--orally fixated little brat,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: If you manage to trade some tit for that tat.
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: You'll feel dizzy and numb, and just a tad raw,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: The spines on his back are so awful thick
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: You'll end up with naught but a painful prick.
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly exclaims with a Lancrastian accent: Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Competent Xole Xurvivor takes a deep breath, here comes the last verse!

Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: With a tad of ginger, you can "doctor" an ox,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: Or fancy a rabbit, if you chase down its box.
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: One may HRUUUGH! a hippo, should the mood befall,
Competent Xole Xurvivor loudly says with a Lancrastian accent: But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Competent Xole Xurvivor wheezes before collapsing in mighty drunken revelry. A stagehands quickly sweeps her off the stage. Taa daaa...?

Competent Xole Xurvivor bows.
</pre>

====Adrelawen's verse with more marsupial love====
<pre>
Young Adrelawen says: Just one verse from me...

Young Adrelawen says: The ecksian style is to stand on your head / With a wallaby, 'roo or a wombat instead / Should you try all together you're set for a fall / While the echidna can never be buggered at all

Aphaea looks confused. Echidnas are not hedgehogs.
Young Adrelawen says: I know, I cheated :-)
</pre>

====Earwax's verses loving all the Guilds====
<pre>
Black Earwax Pus says "This is a version that we're taught in Klatch.  Remember, Nanny's from the Ramtops, so she's not likely to teach you it."

Black Earwax Pus says, "Btw, a priesthole is a room in a wall used to hide priests.  Now get your mind out of the gutter.  My song's clean".

Black Earwax Pus sings, "To sleep with the fishes, as everyone knows,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "Can mean more than a line in Assassin-ish prose."
Black Earwax Pus sings, "For a cod in your codpiece is sure to enthrall,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all."

Black Earwax Pus sings, "A Warrior goes Ug! when poked with a rod,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "Attached to a priest trying to make him see god."
Black Earwax Pus sings, "Thieves can find priestholes behind any wall,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all."

Black Earwax Pus sings, "A Wizard's staff may have a knob on its end,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "but that paltry object won't serve to defend"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "against a randy assault on his abdominal wall,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "For a hedgehog can never be buggered at all."

Black Earwax Pus sings, "But bring in a well experience witch from Klatch,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "Quicker in mind than the fastest thief's snatch."
Black Earwax Pus sings, "She'll vine those hedgehogs so e'en if they curl in a ball,"
Black Earwax Pus sings, "Armed with a broomstick, she'll bugger them all!"
</pre>

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==Winners==
Winners chose their prize amongst those in the category they won in order, skipping those who were absent who got what was left.

In the case of a Tie, the Witches who Tied will share the Prizes between Themselves.

===Monetary prize===

In addition to object prizes, monetary prizes were also awarded.

Granny, always finishing first, gets what she wants: Respect.

:1st place after Granny wins 35 royals.
:2nd place after Granny wins 30 royals.
:3st place after Granny wins 25 royals.
:All other participants win 10 royals.

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===Mocking competition===
First place: Esmeralda Weatherwax's innate ability to mock others. All she wanted was Respect so she gets that.

:1st place after Granny: Nashina's Abjuring Mock
:::::prize: 1 prize set of 1000 seeds & 1000 sugar lumps & 1 compact
:2nd place after Granny: Xole's 2 Mocks
:::::prize: 4 handfuls of purple mineral powder (PMP) & 2 stilettoes
:3rd place after Granny: Frazyl's Circling Mock
:::::prize: 1 bronze helm (+ int + wis) & 1 elegant ring

Runner ups: Adrelawen's 2 Mocks, Earwax's Bashing Mock

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===Tricks FreeStyle 1-2 stages===
First place: Esmeralda Weatherwax's trick. All she wanted was Respect so she gets that.

:1st place after Granny: Farrah's Reverse Dandelion
:::::prize: 22 eggs & 1 compact
:2nd place after Granny: Kyr's Bewitching Tail
:::::prize: 1 permalight & 1 elegant ring
:3rd place after Granny: Arcadia's Garlic Grower
:::::prize: 1 pair of dex gloves & 1 elegant ring

Runner ups: None

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===Tricks FreeStyle 3-5 stages===
First place: Esmeralda Weatherwax's trick. All she wanted was Respect so she gets that.

:1st place after Granny: Xole's Undead Vengeance
:::::prize: 2 tiger fangs & a belt
:2nd place after Granny: tie between Thistle's Enchantments & Gwyndrith's Dirty Witch
:::::prize: 1 custom blorp set (witch chooses the locations) & 1 compact
:3rd place after Granny: Frazyl's Thoughtless Obliviousness
:::::prize: 1 pair of strength gauntlets & 1 elegant ring

Runner ups: None

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===Themed Tricks: Rabbit Rabbit!===
First place: Esmeralda Weatherwax's trick. All she wanted was Respect so she gets that.

:1st place after Granny: Nashina's Rabbitty Magic Trick
:::::prize: 1 3D portrait of your character by Medea & 1 pink ring
:2nd and 3rd place after Granny: Xole Xurvivor's Auriental Leporine Surprise & Arcadia's Foo Fighter
:::::prize: 5 handfuls of PMP & Fruit Cup (deluded basket with fruits) and 1 pair of thief daggers & 1 elegant ring

Runner ups: Earwax Pus's Tobacco Road Playbunny

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===Hedgehog Song Competition===
First place: Esmeralda Weatherwax's Scary Scowl at the mere mention of the Hedgehog Song. She gets Respect.

:1st place after Granny: Arcadia's verses with Marsupial-love
:::::prize: 1 pinkfish doll & 1 custom blorp set
:2nd place after Granny: Earwax's verses loving all the Guilds
:::::prize: 1 Permalight & 1 elegant ring
:3rd place after Granny: Xole's verses with her Sucking Leeches
:::::prize: 1 pair of strength gaunts & 1 blue ring

Runner ups: Frazyl's verse with an obsession for creatures magical, Nashina's verses with a thing for her fellow Witches, Adrelawen's verse with more marsupial love

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===Raffle===
Everyone present at the end of the trials was invited to write their own name on a piece of paper and put in the Qase. For each item a piece of paper was randomly picked and removed.

Esmeralda Weatherwax's said she just wanted respect.

*1st item: Chocolate sword
::Winner: Baka
*2nd item: 2 Kami haris
::Winner: Farrah
*3rd item: Modern Hat (custom witch hat) & 1 elegant ring
::Winner: Tarzan who became an honorary witch!

After that a free-for all was announced on the moonlight market clothing which were dropped at once and those who wanted it picked it up.

The moonlight market clothing pieces:
:The lacy white summer frock, the midnight black bolero jacket, the pair of midnight, the black high heeled shoes, the alluring twilight demi-cup bra, the pair of sheer black stockings, the delicate white lace negligee, the pair of snug wine red briefs, the pair of drop-dead gorgeous pink and black briefs, the elegant white bodice, the sexy lace teddy, the summer's night coat, the jet black cravat, the silver strapless dress, the black silk sash, the pair of snug white briefs, the breath-taking pink and black suspender belt, the backless midnight black bustier, the  classic black corset, one of the pairs of sheer black stockings one of the elegant white bodices, the pair of close-fitting dark grey briefs, the primrose yellow cutaway jacket, the alluring wild thyme demi-cup bra, the dramatic wild thyme suspender belt, the elegant foxglove purple bodice, the elegant black bodice and the ivory cravat.

Who got them:
*Antiquated Kyr took a sexy lace teddy
*Aphaea took an elegant foxglove purple bodice, a silver strapless dress
*Baka took a fluffy cloak
*Competent Xole Xurvivor took a breath-taking pink and black suspender belt
*Kithe took a jet black cravat, an ivory cravat
*Literate Arcadia took an alluring wild thyme demi-cup bra, an elegant white bodice, a pair of sheer black stockings, a black silk sash, a pair of snug wine red briefs, a lacy white summer frock
*Murse Nashina Nanananannanana took a backless midnight black bustier, an alluring twilight demi-cup bra, a pair of drop-dead gorgeous pink and black briefs, a primrose yellow cutaway jacket, a summer's night coat
*Nasty Frazyl took a classic black corset, a delicate white lace negligee
*Ranikia took an elegant black bodice
*Tarzan took a pair of close-fitting dark grey briefs
*Thistle took a pair of midnight black high heeled shoes
*Wee Farrah took a dramatic wild thyme suspender belt, a pair of sheer black stockings
*Young Adrelawen took a midnight black bolero jacket, an elegant white bodice


There was also 100 pebbles imbued with the Cure Drunkenness, Agoraphobia or Fumble rituals that some people took.


Tarzan got the polished country kitchen pantry that Xole had bought for the occasion to hold the scumble shot glasses.

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==Announcement posts==
Here are documented the posts regarding this witch trials.

Some empty lines were removed to make the messages easier to read.

===Original announcement===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Organising
Note #5 by Qiuyan at Sat Jan 29 10:28:56 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

So... I realise that for me to be able to participate or watch the Witch Trials this year, I would need to organise it.

However, it would have to happen really soon or I won't be able to do it.

Therefore I would like to propose the 12th of February, 2011, for the Witch Trials this year.

I'm taking into consideration players from XXXX aas well, so here is the proposed time at which the Trials will start:

Time is fixed on Saturday, 12 February 2011, 12:00:00 UTC time
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?year=2011&month=2&day=12&hour=12&min=0&sec=0


I realise that its a very short time (2 weeks) to get things done, but I hope its possible!


If many witches agree, then I would need to form a few committees:

1) Sponsors and sponsors care committee

This involves getting sponsors and getting gifts for them. Totally easy. Budget will be provided.

2) Events committee

What happens on that day? What categories will be offered? Registering all candidates! Some information is available on the wiki.

3) Prizes committee

Getting prizes together. Knowing the best and witchiest gifts to buy. And door gifts for all. Budget will be provided.

4) Votes counting committee

I can organise stuff but I suck at counting votes. If I did things the way Caya did it last year (give out papers and have witches put their votes in a basket), I would be totally at a loss. I need help with this!

Budget will be provided.


And of course I hope that many many witches can participate this year. I hope to include newbies who can't make their own Tricks yet either... perhaps have a new category for them.

Ideas are still flowing. Suggestions will be appreciated.

--
Qiuyan
</pre>

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===Details of the trials===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#1 Organising
Note #11 by Qiuyan at Sun Jan 30 00:42:21 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

On Sat Jan 29 10:28:56 2011 [EST], Qiuyan wrote:
> Time is fixed on Saturday, 12 February 2011, 12:00:00 UTC time
> http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?year=2011&month=2&day=12&hour=12&min=0&sec=0


Alright, so after getting some opinions over tells and such, I realised that perhaps a third of the witches I asked might be able to make it for the event. Sorry I didn't manage to ask everyone though.


Categories that I'm suggesting for the Witch Trials are:

1) Themed Tricks: Rabbit, rabbit!

Since we had Valentines-themed Tricks last year, I'm thinking to do something new this year. The 12th of February falls on the 10th day of the Lunar New Year celebrations, so I'm proposing Rabbit-theme Tricks this year.

Some inspiration here: http://www.theholidayspot.com/chinese_new_year/


2) Free-style Trick (1-2 stages)

As usual, Tricks that aren't themed can enter the Free-style Trick section. Tricks with 1-2 stages would enter this category.

For more info on Tricks, look here: https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Tricks


3) Free-style Trick (3-5 stages)

This is the section for Tricks that are a little longer.


4) Valentines Day Poem Recital

This is the Valentines Day-themed category eligible to all witches. Make up a poem and dress and act the part (with emotes) to participate! Bats can enter with their owners.


If you have any more suggestions, please mudmail me or sent me a tell. :)


If you'd like to participate, I'd very much appreciate it if you could send me:

1) A MUD mail describing your Trick or poem (which will be used to present your item).


If you'd like to participate, but cannot attend the Trials, please send me:

1) A MUD mail describing your Trick or poem (which will be used to present your item). For Tricks, please tell me how many stages and how difficult your Trick is.

2) For Tricks: 3 hag stones inbued with your Trick

3) For poems: Write your poem and accompanying emotes as an alias I can fire off during the event.

For help with aliases, see https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Alias or help in-game.


I still need help with these things:

> 1) Sponsors and sponsors care
> This involves getting sponsors and getting gifts for them. Totally
> easy. Budget will be provided.
I'd like to add that unlike the Round World, sponsorship on the Disc is rather much easier to get.


> 2) Events
> Registering all candidates
> Some information is available on the wiki.
Helping me with which candidate comes next would be good too.
Some small change for coffee breaks may be provided. :P


> 3) Prizes
> Getting prizes together. Knowing the best and witchiest gifts to
> buy. And door gifts for all. Budget will be provided.


> 4) Votes counting
> I can organise stuff but I suck at counting votes. If I did things
> the way Caya did it last year (give out papers and have witches put
> their votes in a basket), I would be totally at a loss. I need help
> with this!
> Budget will be provided.


Thanks in advance for any help rendered and I hope that everyone will enjoy themselves at the Trials.
--
Qiuyan
</pre>

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===Sponsors and links===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#2 Organising
Note #13 by Qiuyan at Mon Jan 31 19:31:41 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

So some wet hennes are starting to prepare their Tricks and want to know how... here're some helpful guides to doing so:

1) Goodie Whemper's Research Notes
(Now available at discworld.atuin.net!)

The original manual to making Tricks and still very useful!

https://discworld.starturtle.net/lpc/guilds/witches/notes/


2) Tricks at the Discworld MUD Wiki
https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Tricks


3) Tricks at the Disc Witches Guild
http://witches.gwendoline.at/tricks.html


I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank those who've offered their help, like Zexium, Adyton, Gwendoline. Gwendoline, in particular, has been asked to help with the door-gifts, so fluffs to her taking up this responsibility!


And we would also like to thank our sponsors! Mothergoose generously contributed 5 royals towards the guild, and Ramuh has graciously contributed half a sack of Moonlit Market clothes and weapons (and there's more to come). Another sponsor, who has chosen to remain anonymous, has donated 3 AM crowns towards our cause.


Meanwhile I'm also looking for wizards who sell or make permalights to sell us some. I'm would also like to buy purple powder by the handfuls. These would make up some of the attractive prizes that we're offering this year.


Once again, the categories are:

1) Themed Tricks - Rabbit, rabbit!

2) 1-2 stage Free-style Tricks

3) 3-5 stage Free-style Tricks

4) Valentines Day Poem Recital


If anyone would like to suggest another category, please send a mail or tell.
--
Qiuyan
</pre>

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===More sponsors===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#3 Organising
Note #14 by Qiuyan at Tue Feb 1 00:30:40 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

More sponsorships are rolling in!

We want to thank:

1) ADYTON, for the lavish donation of 4 handfuls of purple powder!

2) STABBAS (on God Street) for the liberal gifts of 1 pair of dex gloves and 1 pair of thieves daggers! May I add that Stabbas also has a money changer counter and a pickler - great for witches looking to cure food for their bats!

3) The PHOENIX PARK P-SHOP in Bes Pelargic for the generous present of a custom permalight. The winner gets a ticket and gets to choose which item she wishes to permalight!

4) The GREEN SLAB and its editors (read: ASHA) for the bountiful contribution of AM $5000!


We are looking for 1-2 newbie wizards with Atmospheric Inscription Wonder to advertise for our sponsors. Please contact me! :)

--
Qiuyan

(Qiuyan edited this message at Tue Feb 1 05:30:40 2011.) 
</pre>

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===Changes and more sponsors===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#4 Organising
Note #15 by Qiuyan at Tue Feb 1 02:00:27 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

And yet more sponsors to thank! We are grateful to the following for their generous contribution:

1) Haug, for his gift of AM $10,000

2) Asaram, for his intended donation of 100 warded items with fumble/cure drunkenness/agoraphobia, and also possibly purple powder.



In addition! We have some very important changes to the Trials!

The Valentine's Day Poem has been removed and replaced by something more witchy -- suggesting verses for the Hedgehog Song!

For those who do not know what the Song is, please refer to this link:
https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Hedgehog_Song

The winner of this section will have her verse idea-repped by as many witches as we can get to do this, so that the number of verses for the Hedgehog Song keeps increasing! Right now we max out on verses quite early.

And we have one additional section, a carry-over from the last year, the Best Mock! This is a freestyle section and you can mock any skill in-game, but only strictly in-game.




So to reiterate, the sections are now:

1) Mocks

Witches get to mock any skill listed under "skills". Each witch can submit a maximum of 2 mocks.

2) Rabbit Rabbit!

Themed Tricks for the year, all about rabbits.

3) 1-2 stage Freestyle Tricks

4) 3-5 stage Freestyle Tricks

Witches can submit 2 mocks maximum. Either 2 mocks in the same category, or 1 mock in 2 categories.

5) New Hedgehog Verse

Witches can submit 1 verse (4 lines!) per witch. Wet Hennes who can't mock or make Tricks can join in! Scumble will be provided, thanks to Xole!

The winner of this section will have her verse idea-repped by as many witches as we can get to do this, so that the number of verses for the Hedgehog Song keeps increasing! Right now we max out on verses quite early.



We welcome everyone, even non-witches, to attend! See you in Lancre, at Charlie the scarecrow, on the 12 of Feb at 12 noon GMT!

--
Qiuyan

Fluffs to Xole and Frazyl for providing info and ideas!

Apologies for the multi edits.


(Qiuyan edited this message at Tue Feb 1 07:00:27 2011.) 
</pre>

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===Creating tricks===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Tricks and their Creation
Note #22 by Qiuyan at Thu Feb 3 13:01:28 2011 on board witchesguild

I decided to start a new subject just so its easier for witches to see this.


In particular, I'd like to fluff Andschana's Trick Creating site.

https://www.gunde.de/discworld/witches/trick.php

It helped me a lot when I was a wee witch. ( And I still am! :P )


And the resources with regards to creating Tricks are:

1) Goodie Whemper's Research Notes
(Now available at discworld.atuin.net!)

The original manual to making Tricks and still very useful!

https://discworld.starturtle.net/lpc/guilds/witches/notes/


2) Tricks at the Discworld MUD Wiki

https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Tricks


3) Tricks at the Disc Witches Guild

http://witches.gwendoline.at/tricks.html


After educing your Trick, you can "fly to Charlie on broom" and use Charlie to test your newly made Trick:

https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Unlucky_Charlie


You can now see where Charlie is in Lancre on this Ramtops map:

https://dw.daftjunk.com/Ramtops.png


If any witch has more questions about Tricks or has problems with creating Tricks, feel free to ask politely on the channel (Witches)!


Each witch can submit a total of 2 mocks, 2 Tricks and 1 verse for the Hedgehog Song each, so get cracking! :)


Regarding mocks:
https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Mock


Regarding the Hedgehog Song;
https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Hedgehog_Song


--
Qiuyan

Edit: added info on Charlie, mocks and the Song
(Qiuyan edited this message at Thu Feb 3 13:01:28 2011.) 
</pre>

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===Even more sponsors===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#5 Organising
Note #23 by Qiuyan at Wed Feb 2 08:13:58 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

The witches would like to thank the following new sponsors for their donations:

1) The AM Daily -- for their gracious donation of AM$5000

2) The Djelian Council -- for their liberal contribution of AM$10,000

3) Betta -- for offering to donate a permalight


In addition we would also like to thank Kefka for adding a small annotation on his maps. You can now see where Charlie is in Lancre on his Ramtops map:

https://dw.daftjunk.com/Ramtops.png

Incidentally, for wet hennes, you can "fly to Charlie on broom" and use Charlie to test your newly made Trick:

https://dwwiki.mooo.com/wiki/Unlucky_Charlie


And now that Charlie's location is known to all, we encourage everyone, even non-witches, to come watch the Trials and learn more about it and the witches on the 12th of February at 12 noon GMT, at Charlie's in Lancre! :)

--
Qiuyan
</pre>

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===Still more sponsors and prizes===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#6 Organising
Note #24 by Qiuyan at Fri Feb 4 16:50:48 2011 on board witchesguild

These two days have been busy! More sponsors are coming in!

We would like to thank:

1) The Filigree P-shop for their generous pledge of $10,000.

2) The Vulgar Unicorn in DJB (NW corner off the bazaar) for offering 2 blorp sets

3) The Mojo Dojo (located just outside the Samurai Dojo in BP) for their donation of 5 handfuls of purple powder plus a pair of fangs and a belt for them.

4) Kate, for her personal gift of $5000 to the Trials.


Announcements will be registered with the criers in AM thanking our corporate sponsors! So keep the gifts and money rolling in! :P


I have a goal of reaching $99,000, to match the prizes and monetary gifts given out last year. Happily we've raised AM$54,500 already.


Besides cash, we're also looking for donations of the following items:

Small compacts
Bronze helms
Pinkfish dolls
Flat caps
Charged Worm swords
Iron (str) gauntlets
Chocolate swords
Rings:
--- Pink rings, Elegant rings and/or Blue ring sets
--- example 1: A prize set of 8 charge blue ring, elegant ring, and blue crystal brooch
--- example 2: A prize set consisting of a 11 charge blue ring, bubble earrings, and an elegant ring


And of course your presence matters to us -- hope to see you at the Witch Trials 2011 on the 12th of February, at 12 noon GMT! :)

--
Qiuyan
</pre>

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===Submissions===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Submissions please! And Program for the Day.
Note #25 by Qiuyan at Sat Feb 5 15:57:38 2011 on board witchesguild

Wotchers!

It is 7 days to the Witches Trials!

I ask all witches to please mail or send a tell regarding their submissions to me, as I need an estimate of how many of us will be participating.


In your mail, you should state:

How many mocks and Tricks you'll be submitting and if you'll be submitting for the Song.

What you'll be mocking and the name(s) of your Trick(s).

How many stages will your Trick(s) have.

If you cannot make it for the Trials but wish to submit Tricks, please tell me how difficult your Trick is and I will see if I have to beg one of the higher-level witches to cast it for you. Please also send 3 hag-stones imbued with your Trick(s) and labelled with a sticker to me.

I will leave a roll of labels at Granny's so we can use it.



The categories are as follows:

1) Mocks

Witches get to mock any skill listed under "skills". Each witch can submit a maximum of 2 mocks.

2) Rabbit Rabbit!

Themed Tricks for the year, all about rabbits.

3) 1-2 stage Freestyle Tricks

4) 3-5 stage Freestyle Tricks

Witches can submit 2 Tricks maximum. Either 2 Tricks in the same category, or 1 Trick in 2 categories.

5) New Hedgehog Verse

Witches can submit 1 verse (4 lines!) per witch. Wet Hennes who can't mock or make Tricks can join in!



The program of the Day (12th of February) is:

1150 GMT - Flow in and giving out of doorgifts. Portals to Trials are planned at the Drum and BP Tuna Walk from 1150 GMT to 1210 GMT.

1200 GMT - Trials start. Welcome.

1210 GMT - Mocking competition.

1230 GMT - Votes for Mocking competition are submitted.

1240 GMT - Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages).

1300 GMT - Votes for Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages) are submitted. Thanking of sponsors (read: Commercial Break!).

1310 GMT - Freestyle Tricks (3-5 stages).

1330 GMT - Votes for Freestyle Tricks (3-5 stages) are submitted. Thanking of sponsors.

1340 GMT - Themed Tricks (Rabbit rabbit!).

1400 GMT - Votes for Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages) are submitted. Thanking of sponsors.

1410 GMT - Hedgehog Competition

1430 GMT - Votes for Hedgehog competition are submitted. Thanking of sponsors.

1440 GMT - Prize Presentation.

1500 GMT - Raffle

1520 GMT - End. (Unplanned PK brawl starts. :P )


Please note that timings are subject to changes. I plan for it to finish within 3 and a half hours at the maximum. Otherwise my ADHD will act up again. :P

--
Qiuyan

(Qiuyan edited this message at Sat Feb 5 15:57:38 2011.) 
</pre>

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===Even more prizes===
<pre>
ulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#7 Organising
Note #26 by Qiuyan at Sat Feb 5 23:50:18 2011 on board witchesguild

Woo! More prizes! I am so excited! *bouncing*[1]

We thank:


1) Holister for his generous gift of strength gaunts!


2) Medea for the offer of a bust portrait as seen on her website!
(http://thegreenrose.com/discworld/)

Medea's offer carries conditions, that is, the portrait subject has to provide her with a reasonably detailed description, and a method of contact for discussing/examining/approving the ongoing project.

Because every portrait is created from unique, custom-made 3D models, each portrait takes an average of about 200 hours real-life time to make.

She has also offered to bump the winner up to the first place on her waiting list, which is about 20-30 people long.

Her offer is good for one face/bust portrait guaranteed upon receipt of an adequate description, with a secondary full-length portrait to be negotiated.


--
Qiuyan

[1] Gonna cut down on the Klatchian coffee
</pre>

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===More about submissions===
<pre>
Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#1 Submissions please! And Program for the Day.
Note #31 by Qiuyan at Sun Feb 6 15:01:08 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

Our Earwax has asked to submit 4 verses for the Hedgehog Song and have it count as 1 entry. It's fine by me. :)

In other words, each witch can only have 1 entry for the Hedgehog Song, but can submit up to 5 verses (each verse containing 4 lines) in their entry.


I would also ask all witches and visitors to dress warmly for the event. Unless the cres get involved (most unlikely), the weather forecast is snowy and "damned cold". Therefore please make sure that your clothing provides "enormous warmth", which you can check using "temp".

One more thing, I would ask all witches and visitors to come prepared with writing instruments (e.g. quills and/or pencils). I will buy a few quills but I'm not sure how many will turn up, so I'd like for everyone reading this to be prepared. :)


I will be hiring 2 wizards for JPCT to the Trials, for thanking the sponsors and for feeding our bats.


I will also hire 2 priests for curing drunkenness and for providing warmth. However the effects of the "warm" ritual doesn't last long (according to the wiki), so dressing warmly is a better option. If I have time I will go hunt for fluffy cloaks with my wee warrior.


Cheers and I hope this post won't be eaten again! :P

--
Qiuyan



On Sat Feb 5 10:57:38 2011 [EST], Qiuyan wrote:

Wotchers!

It is 7 days to the Witches Trials!

I ask all witches to please mail or send a tell regarding their submissions to me, as I need an estimate of how many of us will be participating.



In your mail, you should state:

How many mocks and Tricks you'll be submitting and if you'll be submitting for the Song.

What you'll be mocking and the name(s) of your Trick(s).

How many stages will your Trick(s) have.

If you cannot make it for the Trials but wish to submit Tricks, please tell me how difficult your Trick is and I will see if I have to beg one of the higher-level witches to cast it for you. Please also send 3 hag-stones imbued with your Trick(s) and labelled with a sticker to me.

I will leave a roll of labels at Granny's so we can use it.



The categories are as follows:

1) Mocks

Witches get to mock any skill listed under "skills". Each witch can submit a maximum of 2 mocks.

2) Rabbit Rabbit!

Themed Tricks for the year, all about rabbits.

3) 1-2 stage Freestyle Tricks

4) 3-5 stage Freestyle Tricks

Witches can submit 2 Tricks maximum. Either 2 Tricks in the same category, or 1 Trick in 2 categories.

5) New Hedgehog Verse

Witches can submit 1 verse (4 lines!) per witch. Wet Hennes who can't mock or make Tricks can join in!



The program of the Day (12th of February) is:

1150 GMT - Flow in and giving out of doorgifts. Portals to Trials are planned at the Drum and BP Tuna Walk from 1150 GMT to 1210 GMT.

1200 GMT - Trials start. Welcome.

1210 GMT - Mocking competition.

1230 GMT - Votes for Mocking competition are submitted.

1240 GMT - Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages).

1300 GMT - Votes for Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages) are submitted. Thanking of sponsors (read: Commercial Break!).

1310 GMT - Freestyle Tricks (3-5 stages).

1330 GMT - Votes for Freestyle Tricks (3-5 stages) are submitted. Thanking of sponsors.

1340 GMT - Themed Tricks (Rabbit rabbit!).

1400 GMT - Votes for Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages) are submitted. Thanking of sponsors.

1410 GMT - Hedgehog Competition

1430 GMT - Votes for Hedgehog competition are submitted. Thanking of sponsors.

1440 GMT - Prize Presentation.

1500 GMT - Raffle

1520 GMT - End. (Unplanned PK brawl starts. :P )


Please note that timings are subject to changes. I plan for it to finish within 3 and a half hours at the maximum. Otherwise my ADHD will act up again. :P

--
Qiuyan

p.s. I always find spelling errors *AFTER* I post, and not before. :(
(Qiuyan edited this message at Sun Feb 6 20:01:08 2011.) 
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===Hiring wizards===
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Bulletin Boards: Wizardsguild
Witch Trials - Employment opportunities for Wizards
Note #38 by Qiuyan at Thu Feb 10 23:41:22 2011 on board wizardsguild

Wotchers, pie-eaters!

In the upcoming Trials on the 12th of February, we are looking to hire 2 newish wizards (less than 50 days old).


The wizzies should have the relevant components and be able to perform the following spells:

1) Jogloran's Portal of Cheaper Travel (blorp to Charlie's provided)

2) Atmospheric Inscription Wonder (budget provided to buy quills and torches)

3) Wurphle's Midnight Snack


The wizzies will have the following responsibilities:

1) Providing portals from the Drum in AM and Tuna Walk in BP to Charlie's in Lancre from 1150 GMT to 1210 GMT on request

2) Thanking the sponsors during commercial breaks

3) Providing food for bats and visitors on request during the event


The duration of employment is:

1130 GMT to 1530 GMT (11am GMT to 3pm GMT) on the 12th of February.

The event starts at 1200 GMT and is expected to last three and a half hours, you can check up on your local time here:
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?year=2011&month=2&day=12&hour=12&min=0&sec=0


The event will take place in Lancre at Charlie the Scarecrow's, located in this map here:
https://dw.daftjunk.com/Ramtops.png


If you are interested, please contact me by mail or tell. Renumeration is negotiable.


Cheers!

--
Qiuyan

edit: added map. Also 1 more wizzie needed! Age range has be increased.

(Qiuyan edited this message at Thu Feb 10 23:41:22 2011.)
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===Hiring priests===
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Bulletin Boards: Priestsguild
Witch Trials - Employment opportunities for Priests
Note #50 by Qiuyan at Wed Feb 9 23:15:54 2011 on board priestsguild

Wotchers, god-botherers!

In the upcoming Trials on the 12th of February, we are looking to hire 2 newish priests (less than 20 days old).


The priests should have the relevant components and be able to perform the following rituals:

1) Warm [Edit: 1]

2) Cure Drunkenness


The priests will have the following responsibilities:

1) Casting Warm upon request for witches and visitors [Edit: 1]

2) Casting Cure Drunkenness upon request or upon unconsciousness for witches and visitors


The duration of employment is:

1130 GMT to 1530 GMT (11am GMT to 3pm GMT) on the 12th of February.

The event starts at 1200 GMT and is expected to last three and a half hours, you can check up on your local time here:
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?year=2011&month=2&day=12&hour=12&min=0&sec=0

The event will take place in Lancre at Charlie the Scarecrow's, located in this map here:
https://dw.daftjunk.com/Ramtops.png



If you are interested, please contact me by mail or tell. Renumeration is negotiable.


Cheers!

--
Qiuyan

[1] Thanks to Ilde, I found out that Warm cast by PK 1 on PK 2 basically causes PK 2 to cook. However, after consulting Turvity, NPKs can cast it on PKs without cooking them. My preference will be for NPK priests over PK priests, unless the PK priests remember to cast Cool after casting Warm on PK players. (1st Cool cast cancels out Warm.)

Edit: added map! and still looking for 1 more priest!

(Qiuyan edited this message at Wed Feb 9 23:15:54 2011.)
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===Contributions===
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Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#8 Organising
Note #35 by Qiuyan at Tue Feb 8 15:10:29 2011 on board witchesguild

4 more days to the Trials! And yet more prizes are rolling in!

We would like to thank the following people:

1) Frazyl, for her gift of 22 crystal eggs and 2 compacts!

2) Wysk, for her donation of a pink crystal ring with 10 charges and 1 deluded basket with fruits!

A round wicker basket about half the height of a man, with two handles near its rim for ease of carrying. Perfectly suited for snake charming, all you need to add is the snake.
Fruit Cup is a wicker snake basket.
It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.
It is in excellent condition.
Fruit Cup is completely full with fifteen cured juicy peaches.
It is open.


3) Caya, for giving me a deluded pack with some gifts left over from last year's Trials, plus her own personal donation!

The deep red coloured backpack is made of durable traditional silk. It is shaped like a tube. Each pocket is adorned with delicate embroidery depicting dragons coiling and uncoiling in a lighter shade of red.
Witch Trials Prizes is a deep red silk backpack.
It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.
Witch Trials Prizes has one main pocket and two side pockets.
It contains: 5 Ankh-Morpork royals, a small compact, a bronze helm, three books of cigarette papers, a modern midnight black witches' hat, a furry Pinkfish doll and two crystal eggs.
It is open.
It is in excellent condition.


4) Mumpfi, for her generous contribution of 1 chocolate sword!


5) Xole, for contributing a grand total of 4 gallons of scumble with 9 full bottles left over!


We are deeply grateful to all sponsors!

And with help from Caya and Arcadia, I will be contributing a set of 1000 smelly seeds and 1000 sugars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next few days I will be consolidating the gifts and announcng the prizes for each category.


I'm still waiting for witches to tell me if they intend to compete. It would be great if I could get a feel of how many of us will compete as I can then plan for the monetary prizes. Please let me know through tells or mail!


Cheers!

--
Qiuyan

(Qiuyan edited this message at Tue Feb 8 15:10:29 2011.) 
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===More donations===
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Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Re:#9 Organising
Note #36 by Qiuyan at Thu Feb 10 18:56:02 2011 on board witchesguild

The second last day before the Trials, and we're still receiving stuff! We'd like to cordially thank:

1) The AM council, for a donation of $3000!

2) The Filigree P-shop again, for having donated $16,000!

3) Camelion of Python on Market Street, BP for giving us 6 elegant rings!

4) Emily of The Dragon's Nest on Pallant Street, AM for offering to donate furoshiki cloths and to wrap the prizes up for us!

5) A Truly Anonymous Donor of a bronze helm! I have no idea who you are, since I have no records of who pledged it. :P


I'm still waiting for witches to let me know of their intended entries! This is so I can plan the "monetary prizes" part of things. :)

--
Qiuyan
Excited & stressed! :P

(Qiuyan edited this message at Thu Feb 10 18:56:02 2011.) 
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===Proposed prizes===
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Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Proposed Prizes, Yummy!
Note #37 by Qiuyan at Sat Feb 12 03:22:58 2011 on board witchesguild

So here are the prizes for each category! Remember this list is subject to correction and EDITING, as MORE prizes might still come in! :D


Doorgifts for all witches and visitors
100 pebbles imbued with Cure Drunkenness, Agoraphobia or Fumble


Prizes: The 2nd place winner [1] gets to choose first from the prizes listed for the category, then the 3rd place winner, and then the 4th. If there is a tie, the co-winners decide how to split the prizes.


Prizes for Mocks
-- 4 handfuls of purple mineral powder (PMP) & 2 stilettoes
-- 1 prize set of 1000 seeds&sugars & 1 compact
-- 1 bronze helm (+ int + wis) & 1 elegant ring

Prizes for Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages)
-- 1 pair of dex gloves & 1 elegant ring
-- 1 permalight & 1 elegant ring
-- 1 prize set of 22 eggs & 1 compact

Prizes for Freestyle Tricks (3-5 stages)
-- 1 pair of strength gauntlets & 1 elegant ring
-- 1 pair of fangs & a belt
-- 1 custom blorp set (witch chooses the locations) & 1 compact

Prizes for Themed Tricks
-- 1 3D portrait of your character by Medea & 1 pink ring
-- 5 handfuls of PMP & Fruit Cup (deluded basket with fruits)
-- 1 pair of thief daggers & 1 elegant ring

Prizes for the Hedgehog Song
-- 1 pair of strength gaunts & 1 blue ring
-- 1 Permalight & 1 elegant ring
-- 1 pinkfish doll & 1 custom blorp set

Monetary prizes: the winner in the 2nd place[1] gets 35 royals, the 3rd place winner gets 30 royals, the 4th place winner gets 25 royals and all OTHER participants 10 royals!


Raffle (open to all visitors as well)
-- 1st item: Chocolate sword
-- 2nd: 2 Kami haris
-- 3rd: Modern Hat (custom witch hat) & 1 elegant ring
-- 4th to nth: Moonlight market clothing (until it runs out)


Hope the prizes look good enough!

--
Qiuyan

[1] Granny always gets first place in everything, of course. We've already given her her prize[2] in advance.

[2] Only thing she wanted was Respect.

(Qiuyan edited this message at Sat Feb 12 03:22:58 2011.) 
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===Aftermath===
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Bulletin Boards: Witchesguild
Results of the Trials; Fluffs and Other Matters
Note #42 by Qiuyan at Sun Feb 13 00:34:10 2011 [EST] on board witchesguild

Wotchers! The Trials are over and it was great.

We'd like to thank everyone who came! And the witches who participated! You made this a great event! :D

This includes, but is not confined, to everyone seen there! :P

Ranikia, Aphaea, Wee Farrah, Brother Betta BusinessBureau, Antiquated Kyr, Competent Xole Xurvivor, Thistle and Nasty Frazyl are lying here, Geryon Womblesworth, Nigella, Venerable Father Zuga The Wicked and Tarzan are sitting here, Ryk the giant fruitbat, ToeJam the giant fruitbat and Ablyss the giant fruitbat are flapping sadly close to the ground here, Wotchers! the giant fruitbat, Xuxu the giant fruitbat, Oobi the giant fruitbat and Dwynwen the giant fruitbat are flying above the ground here, Sister Olive Cromwoll and Brother Brint are kneeling here, a sickly yellow cloud is floating in the air here and Blessed Eloise Hirashi, Literate Arcadia, Wicked Pyreet, Ms Satin Anansi, Apostrophe, Murse Nashina Nanananannanana, Ramuh, Black Earwax Pus, Baka, Young Adrelawen, Nasty Gwyndrith and Unlucky Charlie are standing here.

(Faye also came, and Kithe, and some others who were NOT in this particular scene. Excuse me for not having interacted with everyone.)



And now for the Results!


The Winners of the Mocks are:

2) Nashina - who chose: 1 prize set of 1000 seeds&sugars & 1 compact

3) Xole - who chose: 4 handfuls of purple mineral powder (PMP) & 2 stilettoes

4) Frazyl - who will receive: 1 bronze helm (+ int + wis) & 1 elegant ring

Other participants were: Adrelawen (with 2 mocks) and Earwax, who will receive 10 royals each for participating.



The Winners of the Freestyle Tricks (1-2 stages) are:

2) Farrah - who chose: 1 prize set of 22 eggs & 1 compact

3) Kyr - who chose: 1 permalight & 1 elegant ring

4) Arcadia - who will receive: 1 pair of dex gloves & 1 elegant ring

There were no other participants.



The Winners of the Freestyle Tricks (3-5 stages) are:

2) Xole - who chose: 1 pair of fangs & a belt

3) Gwyndrith and Thistle - who chose: 1 custom blorp set (witch chooses the locations) & 1 compact

4) Frazyl - who will receive: 1 pair of strength gauntlets & 1 elegant ring

There were no other participants.



The Winners of the Themed Tricks (Rabbit, rabbit) are:

2) Nashina - who chose: 1 3D portrait of her character by Medea & 1 pink ring

3&4) Arcadia & Xole - who will receive:
-- 5 handfuls of PMP & Fruit Cup (deluded basket with fruits)
-- 1 pair of thief daggers & 1 elegant ring

The 1 other participant was: Earwax, who will receive 10 royals for participating.



The Winners of the Hedgehog Song are:

2) Arcadia - who chose: 1 pinkfish doll & 1 custom blorp set

3) Earwax - who chose: 1 Permalight & 1 elegant ring

4) Xole - who will receive: 1 pair of strength gaunts & 1 blue ring

Other participants were: Adrelawen, Frazyl and Nashina, who will receive 10 royals each for participating.



The Winners of the Raffle are:

1) Baka - who received a Chocolate Sword

2) Farrah - who received 2 kami haris

3) Tarzan - who received a custom witch hat and an elegant ring!



We would also like to thank all our sponsors one more time!

1) Mothergoose

2) Ramuh

3) Adyton

4) Ieni - Representing the Phoenix Park P-shop in BP!

5) Xincrii - Representing Stabbas on God Street!

6) Haug

7) Asha - Representing the Green Slab!

8) Asaram

9) Disgruntled, Leyan, Surt, Betta and Haassasin - the DJB Council!

10) Aell and Unslidge - Representing the AM Daily!

11) Distran - Representing the Vulgar Unicorn in DJB Bazaar!

12) Camelion - Representing the Filigree Trading Co on Filigree and the Python on Market Street in BP!

13) Wysk - Representing Mojo Dojo outside the Dojo in BP!

14) Kate

15) Holister

16) Medea

17) Mumpfi

18) Frazyl

19) Caya

20) Beale , Zexium , Asaram , Pozpaws , Anton , Aell and Jeanie - the AM Council!

21) Emily - Representing The Dragon's Nest on Pallant Street!

22) Other Anonymous Donors!


I'd also like to fluff Kireek for allowing me to stash things in his house, and the witches for being helpful before, during and after the Trials! Particularly Frazyl for helping me with looking for things lost! And Xole for being so encouraging. :)


Due to an issue with items in packs un-identifying themselves after being given to a bat for some time, and being in a state of confusion as usual, the prizes will be delivered over time. Please send me a tell if I haven't given you something!

--
Qiuyan
Phew!


p.s My raw logs are here: http://dwtrials2011.blogspot.com/

p.p.s Blogger is better than Google Sites for publishing this.


(Qiuyan edited this message at Sun Feb 13 05:34:10 2011.) 
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==See also==
*[[Witch trials]]

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==External links==
*[http://dwtrials2011.blogspot.com/ QiuYan's full log on blogspot]
*[https://sites.google.com/site/dwtrials2011/home QiuYan's full log on google]
*[https://discworld.starturtle.net/lpc/secure/newspaper.c?type=article&paper=AM+Daily&edition=116&article=2 ''Witch Trials'' article in Edition 116 of the AM Daily]

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[[Category:Events]]