View source for Witch Trials, 2005-04-10

The Lancre [[Witch Trials]] 2005 took place on 10 Apr, 3pm GMT and were a great success! Thank you to all who made it possible!

==Notice For The Trials==
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Sure, it hasn't been a whole year since the last trial, but witches'll grab any opportunity to have a good round of scumble, won't they? This year, our Fole put up the idea of organising another on our noticeboard and soon enough, the 2005 Lancre Witch Trials became a reality.

Date: 10th April 2005
Time: 3pm GMT

For this trial, witches are invited to compete in a number of categories:
1. Freestyle trick, 3 stages or less
2. Freestyle trick, 4 stages or more
3. Tricks using Evoking and Conjuring, any number of stages
4. Tricks requiring or consuming a silver ring, any number of stages

No witch may enter more than one trick in each category.
A witch may only enter one freestyle category.

There will be some wonderful prizes (to be announced nearer the trials date) and of course door gifts to be given away to the first 15! 

Fole, Aelyn, Slint and Tohya (the organisers) would appreciate it if you could send a mudmail to one of them letting them know what categories you would like to enter by 7th April. We won't get upset if you register and can't make it, of course. If you can't make it for the Trials, let one of the organisers know and we'll work out a way for your trick to be performed on your behalf.

Business cards are available in the chest at Granny's (as of 7AM GMT, 20 Mar) with the date, time and organisers printed on them, so if you need a quick reminder, feel free to take one. Also, if you have any queries about the Trials, send one of the organisers a tell or a mudmail.

Our Slint and Pokeberry have worked on an article about the Trials, to be published in the next edition of the AM Daily, so do read that for more details!

The 2005 Lancre Witch Trials are sponsored by the Illuminated Teapot and the Ankh-Morpork Daily.
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==Set Category (Silver Ring)==
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Erisina says: My trick is a dangerous one and will take a lots of guts to perform. Here, today, I give you.... Black Jennibella's Magpie Curse!
Erisina mutters curses over an expensive silver ring, then rubs it a bit with her sleeve to make it shine brighter.
Grinning maliciously, Erisina animates the ring, making it to hop into Unlucky Charlie's pocket by itself.
Holding her hands high and speaking with a booming voice, Erisina summons the spirit of the Magpie and points it at Unlucky Charlie.
Unlucky Charlie screams in horror when dozens and dozens of translucent magpies attack him.

Old Pokeberry says with a Lancrastian accent: My trick is called Pokeberry's Broom Binder
After that last misflight, Pokeberry notices that the twigs and bristles on her broom are loose and wobbly and decides it's time to bind her broomstick a bit tighter together.
Pokeberry fumbles and fishes in her pockets, locating a silver ring in her cloak she found on the street in Morpork while charming Nadow into giving her a free apple.
Forgetting all practicality, Pokeberry deludes the silver ring, convincing it that it is a special witchâ€™s broom ring, grounded in the power of the earth from which it came.
Pokeberry chants about the dwarf's magic and treasures from the King Under The Mountain that made her broom, she convinces the silver ring that it is able to determine directions better.
Pokeberry tosses the ring into the air and catches it on the end of her broom, stretching it carefully down over her twigs and bristles to bind them tightly together, it twinkles and sparkles with the octarine power of a magic talisman.
The broom's bristles become sleeker and aerodynamic, it seems surer of itâ€™s navigational skills.

Miss Tohya StompyWitch says This is called Tohya's Watery Visions
Tohya StompyWitch opens the bottle, and looks at the water inside. Satisfied, she softly says a few words over it.
Tohya StompyWitch removes her silver ring and holds it in the air with one hand; with the other, she carefully pours a few drops from the bottle. They hang in the air, forming a pool inside the ring.
Tohya StompyWitch gazes into the small pool of water, as if looking for something. Suddenly her eyes flicker, following something that only she can see.
You lean in to look into the pool, but Tohya looks up just before you can see anything. She smiles sweetly at you and blows into the water, reminding it of gravity. It falls to the floor, splashing on your feet.

Mrs Punarina Plavalaguna says with a Lancrastian accent: Ok, my trick is named Eternity Ring, and I would like to dedicate it to my husband, the lovely Tempus
Punarina Plavalaguna opens her hand to show you a very plain, silver band in the centre of her palm. Channeling her will into it, it begins to glow slightly.
Punarina Plavalaguna whispers 'Time flies' into the silver ring, and charms the world into holding it's breath for a moment.
The glow expands around Punarina Plavalaguna as she evokes the power of time, and within the glow you see her figure shift through the Maiden, the Mother and ... The Other One, whilst still being quite obviously herself.
The glow fades as quickly as it came, leaving Punarina with a twinkle of youth and a wink of knowledge in her eyes, and a certain smile on her lips, that you didn't notice there before.

Young Scheherazade exclaims: Right. My trick is called "Wicked Sche's Fowl Play". Using only this here silver ring and this chicken feather, I shall turn Charlie into a chicken!
Scheherazade pulls out the silver ring, gives it a good polish, and rubs it against the chicken feather. The feather suddenly catches on fire.
Scheherazade drops the burning feather with a gasp, and curses colourfully as the flames seem to spread.
While everyone is distracted by the spreading fire, Scheherazade sneaks behind Unlucky Charlie and gives him a good thwack on the head. Unlucky Charlie looks confused for a moment, then starts to strut around the room, flapping his arms and clucking like a chicken.

Wee Fole Clan'Rannoch say My trick is called Wee Fole's Pumkin Generator and needs a silver ring
Fole Clan'Rannoch looks up into the air just in time to realise there is a cardboard box dropping from the sky at high speed. Quickly she grabs at it before it drops to the ground.
With a puzzled expression on her face Fole Clan'Rannoch gingerly opens the box and reads the note that is inside. Suddenly she smiles happily and begins to dance around the room.
Stopping suddenly, Fole Clan'Rannoch drops the box as she enchantingly takes out the treasured gift inside to reveal a Magic Wand, just like the ones you see Fairy Godmothers holding in the books.
Grinning wickedly Fole Clan'Rannoch palms a silver ring from her backpack and holds it between her fingers, she points the wand towards the ring channelling the power of the wand.
Fole looks first in shock, then in amazement and lastly bursts into hysterical laughter as the silver ring is turned into a giant pumpkin.
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==Set Category (Evoking & Conjuring)==
<pre>
The words fade and you see some fine writing in the earth, that reads: Black Black Earwax's Monkey Business requires a sonky, but does notte consume it.
You are impressed. This is true headology. A trick to announce a trick! You eagerly await the demonstration.
Earwax pushes back her sleeves to display her bare arms. 'Nothing up my sleeves!', she says. She stretches the sonky before summoning a deep breath to blow it up.
Earwax ties the end into a knot and says, 'Watch carefully as I conjure a Monkey from thin air!'
Earwax says, 'Now I'll evoke the spirit of the Monkey!'. She wrestles with the swollen sausage. She manages to tie off two ears, half an arm and something that looks like a tail.
'Ta Dah!' She cries, proudly displaying the distorted balloon for all to see. There is a hissing sound and she is left holding a flaccid tube. 'Oh well, a snake it is then!', she sighs in defeat.

Wicked Aelyn Somniac says: Anyhow. Here it is. This was inspired by a spell I cast so many times but really have No Use For.
Wicked Aelyn Somniac says: It's called Notte Ae Portal Spell.
Aelyn Somniac looks around guiltily. She starts to sketch a large rectangle in the air with her finger, which evokes the oddest sense of deja vu in you.
The lines Aelyn Somniac sketched in the air start to glow a red colour. A strange green smell escapes from the forming rectangle, which Aelyn Somniac fans away hastily.
A strangely furtive look dances across Aelyn Somniac's face as the large rectangle slowly starts to materialise.
Aelyn Somniac capers ridiculously around the large rectangle and mumbles strange and obscure lyrics, conjuring the most bizarre images of big dinners, pointy hats and... staves.
A burning dirty piece of crystal with wiremesh solidifies with a satisfying thump, rumbles faintly and opens to a horrible place before snapping shut and disappearing in a shower of sparks.

Mrs Punarina Plavalaguna says: ok, this trick be about moi favourite tipple
Mrs Punarina Plavalaguna says: the discworld renowned ....
Mrs Punarina Plavalaguna exclaims: Scumble!
Mrs Punarina Plavalaguna says: I have entitled it Punarina's Scumble Summoning Surprise
Punarina Plavalaguna holds a shiny green Gammer Smith apple up to the light, and peruses it from all angles, crooning to it and evoking its inner essence.
Punarina Plavalaguna closes her eyes, holds her breath and squeezes the apple tightly, conjuring it's essence into an intoxicating mist around her.
Punarina Plavalaguna's eyes snap open and she chucks the mushy remains of the Gammer Smith at Unlucky Charlie, chanting a mumbled incantation as it goes. The greenish mist follows closely in its wake.
The intoxicating mist envelopes Unlucky Charlie. He hiccups, giggles, and then passes out, singing drunkenly about hedgehogs.

Wicked Angette von Bruxa says: it's called :Wicked Angette's Crater Creator
Wicked Angette von Bruxa says: 'as a note: No Creators were harmed during the making of this trick
Wicked Angette von Bruxa cackles evilly at a nearby creator, throwing bits and pieces of asteroids in the air around him.
Wicked Angette von Bruxa turns to the skies, evoking it to give its offering for the greater good. Wicked Angette von Bruxa nods her appreciation as the power of nature washes over her.
Wicked Angette von Bruxa conjures up a meteorite hovering above her head, forcing it to grow bigger and bigger, flashes and sparks of light bursting from it.
Wicked Angette throws the meteorite at the petrified creator scoring a direct hit. Wicked Angette cackles with glee at the the huge creator-shaped crater in the ground, exclaiming: "That'll teach you to mess with a witch!".

Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous says: this trick is actually inspired by my very most favoritest book/movie, and it's going to actually look like it's cast on all of you
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous says: if you get the refference you'll understand why
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous exclaims: and now for, Mommy Fortuna's Homemade Horrors!
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous conjures up Elli, an old, bony , ragged woman who sits crouched in the corner.
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous animates Elli to sing, what is plucked will grow again, what is slain lives on, what is stolen will remain, what is gone is gone.
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous evokes you to feel yourself wither as your beauty leaves you along with your breath, your body becomes gaunt and your mind ravaged with the remembrance of what you had once been as Elli sings.
Creatures of night, brought to light!

Ashyamandra says: Okies :) Em, but before i stawt i wanted ta apologize for da errors in da trick, i hadn't enough time time ta configure it properly. AND i left away da components needed and didn't succeed in managin' 4 stages so da original trick wouldn't work, i had ta shorten.
Ashyamandra says: Hopefully ya enjoy it anyway, it's meant as an OFFENSIVE trick and uses our beloved utensil, da broom.
Ashyamandra looks at Unlucky Charlie quite annoyed and angrily and bleats: 'So, that's it, then? Cursed you must be, little bugger, for being so unlucky to get on my nerves now of all time.' She cackles with glee and spits into her bucket!
Ashyamandra raises an eyebrow and stares at the bucket... she drops the soap into it and whispers wicked words, evoking the inner spirit of the soap sud. She exclaims 'You called it, you get it!' to Unlucky Charlie.
Ashyamandra dips her broom into the sud and looks at it intently...she conjures it by murmuring something what you think must be a poem, but you only pick up 'sorcerer' and 'apprentice'. The broomstick seems to think about it.
The soapy, foamy broom approaches Unlucky Charlie, jumping around excitedly and begins to whip him, dipping itself occasionally into the sud. Oh, this hurts, Unlucky Charlie winces! Finally Ashyamandra stops her broom and Unlucky Charlie, a drenched pile of foam, sighs.
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==Freestyle (Four Or More Stages)==
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Nanna Jehane von Bruxa says: Well, my trick is called Nanna Jehane's Exploding Privy.
Nanna Jehane von Bruxa sneaks into Unlucky Charlie's privy, cursing him under her breath. She has something that looks suspiciously like a scrollcase for Pragi's Fiery Gaze scrolls behind her back.
Nanna Jehane von Bruxa emerges from the privy, and smiles charmingly at Unlucky Charlie. Her scrollcase somehow seems to be lighter...
Nanna Jehane von Bruxa enchantingly says: Lawks. I am but a sweet old seller of overripe prunes, and skinny besides. Lawks. Pray take and eat a whole bunch, dearie.
Nanna Jehane von Bruxa divines Unlucky Charlie's future, telling him it contains a visit to the privy.
Unlucky Charlie runs into the privy and some nasty noises emerge. Unlucky Charlie grabs some paper. Suddenly the privy explodes in a big ball of flame, and Unlucky Charlie shoots off into the sky!

Old Pokeberry says: The name of moi trick be Gotta Dance
Pokeberry scratches her bum and streeeeeeeeeetches lazily, looking around for entertaining amusement of some kind to banish the devil from her idle mind's playground.
Spying a nearby rat in the cornfield, Pokeberry gently squeezes a nearby cob, producing a thimble full of corn liquor and summons the rat to an upturned crate, and offers refreshment to it.
Pokeberry sings charmingly while thumping a rhythm onto the crate with her hand 'Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo, Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo, Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo, Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...'.
Pokeberry cackles with glee as the wee rat tips his tiny tophat and starts to dance_-_-_tappity tap tap tap tappity tap tap tappity tappity tappity tap tap tap-_-_-.
Pokeberry tilts her pointy hat rakishly, leans on her broom as a cane and starts to dance along _-_tappity tap tap tap tappity tap tap tappity tappity tappity tap tap tap-_-_-...
The pair sway together and tappity tap tap tap tap a happy dance around the cornfield, singing Gotta dance!, Gotta dance!


Mistress Kit Nightingale says: me trick be called Mistress Kit's Unsolicited Wooing. Its a little smutty, but yaou Oi hope moight loike it ;). Here goes.....
Kit Nightingale vaguely waves her hand in a circle and enchants the surrounding air, causing it to shimmer octarine. Kit Nightingale stares at something on the horizon and concentrates.
Kit Nightingale brews a potent mix of pheromones and wafts them at Unlucky Charlie. The air around Unlucky Charlie fills with an intoxicating aroma. Cassanunda the amorous dwarf appears as if from nowhere and runs excitedly towards Unlucky Charlie.
Kit Nightingale chants encouragingly at Cassanunda to seduce Unlucky Charlie. Cassanunda whips out a ladder and eagerly climbs up next to Unlucky Charlie.
Kit Nightingale enchants Unlucky Charlie into being more open to the powers of suggestion. Cassanunda passionately woos Unlucky Charlie loudly with a corny lovesong and makes a kissy face.
Unlucky Charlie gives Cassanunda a big sloppy snog and the spell breaks. Unlucky Charlie wipes his lips in disgust and whimpers. Cassanunda looks pleased and the unrelenting little scamp runs off to find a new romantic conquest.

Tohya emotes: This trick is called "If You Come Closer", it's not the one I originally tried to write, but it feels better this way :)
Tohya StompyWitch sits on the ground, gazing wistfully into the distance. It looks like there are tears brewing in the corners of her eyes.
A single tear falls from Tohya StompyWitch's eye, and splashes upon the earth.
Tohya StompyWitch looks down at the drop of water: it is, she realises, everything that she has lost.
Tohya StompyWitch turns around and walks away from the tear, and begins to sing a soft, enchanting song, to herself.
Tohya slowly walks to Unlucky Charlie and kisses him gently, her worries washed away.


Wicked Aelyn Somniac says: This is a trick I've had for a while, some of you might have seen it before, but I made it a little bigger for the trials.
Aelyn Somniac holds the candle aloft, the fire flickering in the sudden wind that whips up. A low, roaring sound creeps into the edges of your consciousness as a soft, reddish glow appears around Aelyn Somniac.
The low, reverberating sound sweeps through you as the incandescent, enchanting glow around Aelyn Somniac burns with incredible intensity. You suddenly realise that a huge, fiercely hot force is roaring through the skies straight towards her.
The massive, red force distorts and convokes into the unmistakable form of a dragon. It spirals downwards, coiling above, around, within, without Aelyn Somniac, surrounding her in coils of power and flame.
Aelyn Somniac suddenly holds her hands out out against the beast she has summoned, and the dragon roars once and draws towards the small, sputtering candle flame. It spirals magnificently into the air and descends, disappearing slowly into the tiny blaze.
Dragon and fire vanish into the flame. As the golden red aura about her fades, the candle flame rears up in the shape of a dragon, casting an eldritch shadow on Aelyn's features which passes as suddenly as it appeared.

Wicked Angette von Bruxa says: this one is called: Wicked Angette's Cheating Xp
Wicked Angette von Bruxa squints around the room making sure no-one can see her, before channeling her thoughts into something important.
Wicked Angette von Bruxa gets a black bottle from her backpack and starts moving her hands over it, chanting obscure lyrics.
Wicked Angette von Bruxa stares into the black bottle, enchanting the liquid in it, convincing it to show its true essence.
Wicked Angette von Bruxa grins with satisfaction as she summons forth the liquid's inner strength, turning it into pure XP.
Wicked Angette smile happily as she downs the bottle and feels the rush of her rapidly rising skills. Wicked Angette tries to expertly take off on her broom but fails miserably, taking a nosedive into the mud, whimpering.

Wee Fole Clan'Rannoch says Ummm, i guess it is my turn again, My trick is called "Blooming Earth"
Looking down, Fole Clan'Rannoch scrapes her boots across the dry, brown, scorched earth. Shaking her head in dismay looking lost in some deep inner thought.
With a determined look in her eye, Fole Clan'Rannoch looks up into the sky, gazing deeply at the clouds and circling her fingers in the air. They come together becoming darker as the fill with there dark heavy load.
The sky darkens as the clouds cover the fire that is the sun, drowning out the light and the heat. Fole Clan'Rannoch continues to stare incessantly at the clouds.
Suddenly there is an incredible drum roll, and lightening fills the sky, rain begins to fall, the water seeping into the dry, parched soil. Fole Clan'Rannoch gazes downwards toward her boots once more.
Then like life on fast-forward, grass and wild flowers begin to sprout and grow around the feet of Fole. The clouds gradually begin to clear, the sun begins to shine once more and Fole begins to smile and nods happily to herself.
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==Freestyle (3 Stages Or Less)==
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Wee Calidra says: This trick be called Wee Calidra's Dancing Enchantment. It uses a silver flute that be nayt consumed in the casting.
Calidra holds a flute at arms length and starts twirling it around. After inhaling deeply she gently breathes on it from all angles. Either that is a very novel playing technique or she is trying to enchant the flute.
Calidra starts swaying slowly as the flute leaves her hand and slowly circles the room. You can hear the flute now, but somehow not through your ears. The enchanting melody takes a hold of your mind and you find yourself swaying in time to it.
A vapourous figure forms from the air and takes Unlucky Charlie's hands, leading him into a graceful dance. Unlucky Charlie seems to float as he dances. As the music fades so does the figure. Unlucky Charlie sighs and listens wistfully for the sounds of a flute.

Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous says: this next one was my very first trick ever, and as such it was quite accidently made to look as if it's cast on everyone as well, but i thought it was funnier that way so i kept it
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous says: and now, Mistress Phoibe's Phamous Phace Lipht
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous begins chanting, causing you to feel a funny tugging sensation in the middle of your face.
Mistress Phoibe Iniquitous starts dancing, you look down just in time to see your nose running away while making obscene gestures!
Look how young you look now!

Ashyamandra says: My freestyle-3-stages trick originally comsumes a frog skin and needs a bubble mixture :)
Ashyamandra adds that it's meant to be a defensive trick/spell and hopefully becomes a real spell one day :)
Ashyamandra gently dips the wire loop into her bubble mixture. She begins to rotate, on and on, while blowing nice, huge bubbles, enchanting them and forcing them to revolve around her.
Ashyamandra rubs the frog skin with her thumbs and convokes the greenback's spirit. The bubbles suddenly jumble up, swirl around wildly and finally join. A giant frog-shaped bubble forms overhead.
Ashyamandra promises the bubble frog something. The soap form blinks skeptically, while Ashyamandra starts to eat the frog skin! She whispers some magical words you can't hear from where you stand. She gives a charming smile and waits.
The frog bubble drifts down, slowly, opens his big bubbly mouth and swallows Ashyamandra! She looks at you from inside the big froggish bubble surrounding and protecting her now.

Young Scheherazade says: I made this trick a little too tough for me to cast with 100% success, so it might take a try or two...
Scheherazade vanishes momentarily before returning, carting in a giant cake with her as she comes back. It's a charming looking cake, with excessive amounts of layers and pink icing. She plops the cake down right in front of Unlucky Charlie.
Scheherazade is now waving her arms around as she starts summoning the spirit of Miss Marilyn, from long forgotten Holy Wood. Her words sound more like a drawn-out, flashy introduction than a magical spell though. And is that music you hear?
Suddenly, the cake bursts open, and out steps a beautiful, blond, and buxom lady. She sashays up to Unlucky Charlie and slowly sings some song in a lyrical, sultry voice. Unlucky Charlie looks quite very flustered when she finishes, and leaves him with a kiss,.
Young Scheherazade exclaims: Ladies and Not Ladies, I give you the sequel to my highly successfull skirt lifting trick... Miss Monroe's Birthday Surprise!

Mrs Moppe says: Well, this be the reason why Oi can't sleep any more and it's called Mrs moppe's Noightmare.
You look on as ickle old Moppe puts the kettle on to brew. All of a sudden a vision of the great warty head of Fole Clan'Rannoch appears and glowers at her.
'Making tea when you should be working on a trick for the Trials - you lazy old bugger!' the apparition howls. Moppe runs around frantically chanting 'ohshiohshitohshit,' but she can't escape the pursuing spectre.
Moppe channels all her powers in a vain attempt to shield herself from the baleful Clan'Rannoch.
Then in a flash of light Moppe is transformed into a small green frog and Fole cackles gleefully. 'That'll do nicely,' She says.

Mrs Punarina Plavalaguna says: this trick be named The Brewing Storm and be fairly self explanatory. Please remain still for the duration of the trick, for yer own safety.
Punarina Plavalaguna glances at Unlucky Charlie. Did it just get a little colder? And darker? Must be a storm brewing.
Your hair stands on end as lightning begins to crackle around Punarina Plavalaguna's fingertips, enchanting greasy sparks in the air about her. .
Punarina Plavalaguna shifts her gaze towards Unlucky Charlie, the storm brewing is going to be a real humdinger. Now would be a good time to locate the exits.
Unlucky Charlie yelps as a bolt of lightning strikes not 2 inches away from his left foot. Punarina mutters something about 'oops, missed'.

Mistress Kyra Belmont exclaims: Ok, Ive written this trick for all of us women out there who are tired of being walked on. This trick will help us all take control of people who drive us crazy!
Mistress Kyra Belmont says: so here we go....Mistress Kyra's Slave Maker Version 2.0
Kyra Belmont banishes the clothing from Unlucky Charlie's body and conjures a black leather corset, black satin thong, and a riding crop.
Kyra Belmont animates the clothing and riding crop, forcing Unlucky Charlie to wear the black corset and thong. The riding crop lands in Kyra Belmont's hand.
Kyra Belmont animates Unlucky Charlie's body and voice, forcing him to kneel in front of Kyra Belmont and say, As you wish, Mistress!
Unlucky Charlie swoons before Kyra, declaring his undying servitude!!

Young Erisina asks in Djelian: Okay, calh-bibh it comes again - sap language barrier. Will you help me a bit here, lat-calh khot-bibh?
Young Erisina says in Djelian: Anyway, pto my khat-phon. I than-bibh-whit thought of lat when I prin-fin-bibh-khot a goud mit pto learn khin-mit thinges mit-sap-lat a pteacher. Then I realized sap-lat by encouraging sap-bibh-ghot lat learn, we than-lat-khin lip-bibh-khin many things ourselves.
Young Erisina says in Djelian: First I wasn't going pto sikh-ghot-khin-lat it at the Trials at all, only using it pto lip-bibh-khin. I like it very phin-let though, and wanted all of not pto seh it.
Young Erisina exclaims in Djelian: ghot, here goes - Young Erisina's Practice Makes Perfect!
Erisina waves her finger at Unlucky Charlie and preaches him about how convoking is a serious matter and requires a lot of practice.
Unlucky Charlie nods in agreement; he now realizes he should spend more time practicing convoking.

Black Earwax exclaims: Well, at foist I we woz a seamstresses guild, wot with all the ptalk of pturning ptricks. Then Granny corrected my confusion with a goud ol ding pto the head. Anyway, I prefer pto be safe rather than sorry, so I uses a sonky. If you'll louk at me, you'll notice I have one. As a matter of fact, I had to buy so many, you may all have a protective!
Black Earwax says: in the satchel 
Black Earwax exclaims: Ok, here goes!
Black Earwax says: My spell is called Black Earwax's Presto Puttanesca
Earwax blows up the sonky, inspecting it for holes. She then conjures up a tomato and garlic from some strange recess and stuffs them into the sonky.
Earwax swings the sonky overhead and dances wildly around Unlucky Charlie, adding a few capers to the mix.
Earwax shouts, 'Presto Puttanesca!' and visions of Women of the night… no Witches… dancing in their… no dancing altogether, fill your head. The sonky bursts showering its contents over Unlucky Charlie.
Unlucky Charlie seems to be rather hot and flushed. He looks around nervously. He seems to be rooted to the spot and in need of a very cold shower.
Black Earwax exclaims: Btw, it consumes the sonky, as you will notice!
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==Results Of The 2005 Trials==
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Wotchers all!

As you've probably seen, our Tohya's been updating you all with all the tricks that were performed at the Lancre Witch Trials 2005. Now for the results in each category:

Set (Silver Ring)
Nearly as good as our Esme: Punarina
First runner up: Scheherazade
Second runner up: Erisina

Set (Evoking/Conjuring) 
Nearly as good as our Esme: Aelyn
First runner up: Earwax
Second runner up: Angette

Freestyle (4 stages or more)
Nearly as good as our Esme: Jehane
First runner up: Pokeberry
Second runner up: Kit 

Freestyle (3 stages or less)
Nearly as good as our Esme: Moppe
First runner up: Punarina
Second runner up: Kyra

On behalf of the organisers, major fluffs to all the dear witches who put so much time and effort into their great tricks! I haven't seen so many tricks before. Thank yous also to our sponsors, the AM Daily and the Illuminated Teapot as well as Nattick and our other donors- you all made some witches really happy tonight! :) Thank you to the people who helped us out too, Milly for the forn vote translation and everyone who turned up for the Trials and made it such a huge event! I can't seem to stop using exclamation marks. ;) Finally, of course, huge downy fluffs to our Woom, who set the constraints in the set categories and hung around being gen'rally witchy. :D 

You might not have seen her today, but Fole, Tohya and myself would like to inform you all that our Slint put a lot of time, effort and money into organising these Trials- the deluded readmes, the Voting Box and the voting packs were all painstakingly constructed by her. She's done piles and piles of background work we couldn't have done without. :) Slint, we love you! *hugs*

Thank you once again to all who made the Lancre Witch Trials 2005 such a huge event, and see you at next year's!

Love,
Aelyn Somniac, Fole Clan'Rannoch, Slint, Tohya Stompywitch
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==External links==
*[https://discworld.starturtle.net/lpc/secure/newspaper.c?type=article&paper=AM+Daily&edition=57&article=1 ''The Trials of a Witch'' article in Edition 57 of the AM Daily]
*[https://discworld.starturtle.net/lpc/secure/newspaper.c?type=article&paper=AM+Daily&edition=58&article=0 ''The Lancre Witch Trials'' article in Edition 58 of the AM Daily]
*[https://discworld.starturtle.net/lpc/secure/newspaper.c?type=article&paper=The+Green+Slab&edition=43&article=1 ''Downgraped'' article in Edition 43 of The Green Slab]

[[Category:Events]]