Who Nose

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This is a shop run by a nosy witch that sells prosthetic noses, including custom ones, on Tenth Egg Street in Ankh-Morpork.

The nosy witch says: Welcome to Who Nose, the best (and only) prosthetic nose shop in Ankh-Morpork.

The nosy witch says: I also offer free nose removal services, on request.

Syntax

To put on the nose:

  • wear <nose>
  • glue <nose> {onto|to} my face


To remove the nose:

  • unglue nose
    • Ungluing the nose does a small amount of damage, but can be used everywhere.
  • request [an] ogling
    • This also works for your human nose and it does not damage you, but you need to be with the nosy witch. Pks can ask a pk witch to use an ogling squint on them.

Stock

There is a stock of noses from which you can buy.

  • The stock varies, but might not offer all the materials available for custom noses.
  • The stock noses do not have gems on them.
  • The prices seem to be 50% more expensive when custom ordered, minus a penny.
material price
nickel &&&&&&&&&&&+4000 A$10
silver &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
electrum &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
lead &&&&&&&&&&&+4000 A$10
tin &&&&&&&&&&&+4000 A$10
steel &&&&&&&&&&+16000 A$40
lead &&&&&&&&&&&+4000 A$10
pewter &&&&&&&&&&&+4000 A$10
brass &&&&&&&&&&&+8000 A$20
gold &&&&&&&&&&+16000 A$40
octiron &&&&&&&&&&+24000 A$60

Custom nose order

You can start ordering a custom nose by saying 'order'.

Material

Material Price
mysterious glowing metal &&&&&&&&&&+39996 A$99.99
sterling silver &&&&&&&&&&+23996 A$59.99
Klatchian steel &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
stainless steel &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
bismuth bronze &&&&&&&&&&+17996 A$44.99
meteoric iron &&&&&&&&&&+11996 A$29.99
Agatean steel &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
Gebra steel &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
black steel &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
purple gold &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
black gold &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
white gold &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
black iron &&&&&&&&&&+11996 A$29.99
cold iron &&&&&&&&&&+11996 A$29.99
aluminium &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
red gold &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
electrum &&&&&&&&&&+17996 A$44.99
platinum &&&&&&&&&&+35996 A$89.99
titanium &&&&&&&&&&+29996 A$74.99
octiron &&&&&&&&&&+35996 A$89.99
nickel &&&&&&&&&&&+5996 A$14.99
bronze &&&&&&&&&&+11996 A$29.99
silver &&&&&&&&&&+17996 A$44.99
copper &&&&&&&&&&&+5996 A$14.99
pewter &&&&&&&&&&&+5996 A$14.99
brass &&&&&&&&&&+11996 A$29.99
steel &&&&&&&&&&+23996 A$59.99
lead &&&&&&&&&&&+5996 A$14.99
iron &&&&&&&&&&&+5996 A$14.99
gold &&&&&&&&&&+23996 A$59.99
tin &&&&&&&&&&&+5996 A$14.99

Gems

You can add gems on the nose.

Gems Price added
moonstone &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
rhodonite &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
amethyst &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
sapphire &&&&&&&&&&+30000 A$75
emerald &&&&&&&&&&+30000 A$75
diamond &&&&&&&&&&+34000 A$85
quartz &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
garnet &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
iolite &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
amber &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
pearl &&&&&&&&&&+24000 A$60
topaz &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
jade &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
ruby &&&&&&&&&&+30000 A$75
opal &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
onyx &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30
none &&&&&&&&&&&&&&+0 A$0

Result

Once you have indicated the material and gems you will be told how much it will cost and what the short name and the description will be.

The nosy witch exclaims: Your new nose will cost A$89.99!
The nosy witch says: Your octiron false nose will probably look something like this.
The nosy witch whispers to you: This is a cunningly-sculpted prosthetic nose made of octiron; it could be glued onto your face to replace a nose lost in some kind of... unfortunate accident.  
It appears to have something written on it.
The nosy witch exclaims: Your new nose will cost A$129.99!
The nosy witch says: Your amber-studded mysterious glowing metal false nose will probably look something like this.
The nosy witch whispers to you: This is a cunningly-sculpted prosthetic nose made of mysterious glowing metal; it could be glued onto your face to replace a nose lost in some kind of... unfortunate accident.  It has been gaudily  studded with amber.  
It radiates pure octarine brilliance.
It appears to have something written on it.

You can say no at any time to stop the order process.

It can take around an hour once ordered before you can collect it.

When worn, it adds the following line to your description--assuming your face is uncovered:

She has a <type> false nose glued to her face.

Properties

Some materials have special properties.

The mysterious glowing metal nose deals thaumic radiation to you.

Your diamond-studded mysterious glowing metal false nose emits some deadly thaumic radiation.  Since it's on your face, you get the worst of it.

The lead nose gives you lead poisoning. This causes -2 to constitution, intelligence, and wisdom for as long as you have it glued to your face.