Wee Yoni's Guide for Wet Hennes

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Revision as of 16:09, 27 January 2014 by Aell (Talk | contribs) (Splat in Bes Pelargic: Changed Airk's map to Kefka's as it's more up to date.)

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Due to increasing issues with Zuroc's wiki encountering spambots, this page has been created as a mirror to preserve the contents. Please note that the information contained is likely to be outdated. It is a direct copy/paste so the article is properly preserved, proceed with appropriate caution, especially as some of the information is definitely out of date.

Login and Newbie Area

After Login you'll find yourself in the newbie area. You'll have to solve your first quest here to get into the MUD proper.

Important steps in the newbie area are commerce, combat, commerce, align and out. Witches and Wizards might skip the align step, as they are unable to worship to any god besides Pinkfish and Om.

First visit commerce, sell everything you have to sell. You'll need the money later. Buy an old staff and a dagger there. Leave back to foyer and enter combat. Here Greg will ask you, if you like to try your skills, where you answer yes. He'll show you a training room where a training dummy and the instructor Xrazzicaz are waiting for newbies like you. Hold your first weapon, e.g. the staff, and kill the dummy. Repeat this till "skills fighting" tells you that you have dagger, polearm, dodge and parry skill levels of 5. Greg might enter and tell you that, your time is up. Just say yes outside again and till you have the minimum fighting skills. Sell your weapons in commerce and leave the newbie area with out, once you have the skills and completed the newbie quest.

Splat in Bes Pelargic

I advise to witches start in Bes Pelgaric. The most important reason is that the Agatean language is the most difficult one to learn, and that an Agatean witch will find it much easier to become trilingual than any other one. The region doesn't matter, you'll always start in Pong Ping. You'll splat in Loo Ni's bar.

Take a look at Kefka's map of Bes Pelargic now.

Loo Ni's bar is for eating and drinking, so you are at the red room, next to the green misc shop in Rhinu road. Enter the misc shop on the southeastern side of Rhinu road, to "exchange voucher for talker" and to "buy yellow stone ring". The yellow stone ring is a bit expensive. But you'll will need a light as soon as possible. You will have a few Rhinu left so wear the ring and walk to Ogg-San.

Thats nw.2sw.3w.7n.w.2sw.nw.2sw.nw.n of the the shop you got the the light and talker. A small grey spot on the serpents road.

At Ogg-San say,'I want to join the witch guild.' and you are a witch!

Learn to fly in BP

Ogg-San's hut will offer much more than you need in your first hours of being a wet henne. Take a look at the shelf and into the crate. The crate might contain a broomstick, if you are lucky. Else you have to walk to the McSweeney estate north of the wall street. Wet hennes should begin at the Gar Eth Gate, which is on Wall Street. From there, head 4n; 4w; nw; 3e; ne; 3n; enter closet; get broomstick.

Once you have a broom, you need to advance the your skills, as you want to fly it later. Advancing is done in Ogg-San's hut and your first goals should be :

You might want the following aliases for your broom :

  • alias sbroom shake broom;
  • alias fbroom fuel broom with 50 gp; sb;
  • alias rbroom recall from broom;
  • alias flyto fly to $*$ on broom;

Ashyamandra suggests: You could also think for yourself and go creative or at least: short. In the end that's what aliases are for. Well, I got fb and rb and sb as broom aliases and i get along quite well with those. Anyway, if you're not sure how to make aliases look at the discworld help file [help alias]carefully, it's a wee bit.... well...just look carefully at it. Happily, Ash.Zuroc

And of course read the f*cking manual :

  • help broomstick

This will allow to fly at daylight. But you will soon run out of money or experience, if you "advance ma to 5" or "advance ma.it to 10". Now its time to sell your first tea. Green tea to be precise.

The following has been edited for content. When making tea experiment! However, the basic recipe for your first bottle of healing tea is listed below.

  • get bottle from shelf
  • put yarrow into bottle
  • put comfrey into bottle
  • fill bottle from sink
  • look bottle

The bottle should contain two pints of green tea. The map of Bes Pelargic has several so called "General Shops". Those will buy the tea for the price of the bottle. Walking there, while wearing a yellow stone ring should give the experience and money to advance. Take care that you don't overstock the shops. 3 bottles per shop are more than enough, and that there are always bottles, yarrow and comfrey left in the crate.

Note from Slint: Please, please don't do this! If you're really short of money, ask an older witch for help before you use shared resources up like this. It's incredibly useful to have bottles on hand in the witch cottages when you want to brew. They're so much more valuable to other witches than the amount you can get by selling them in general stores. Today I visited Ogg-San's cottage, and none of the twenty-odd bottles that we'd been accumulating in the crate were there any more - in less than a day they'd all been taken by someone, presumably following this advice. Please don't be selfish!

Reply from Yoni:Don't make your first money by selling bottles in Bad Ass! Bad Ass has only one shop, that is full really fast, and there are lots of witches who need the Grannies bottles. Better ask older Witches or someone in the Drum for some starting money. My idea here was, that a wet henne in BP cares to run Ogg-San's hut. So take all the bottles and herbs from the shelf, only prepare one of them as green tea, and put the rest into the crate. Than take a walk to a shop to sell this bottle and walk back to Ogg-San's hut. The shelf should restock while you are walking, so you wont harm anyone, but instead fill the crate with bottles and herbs to benefit older witches who need a large pile of bottles for brewing tea in a batch.

You will be in Bes Pelgaric for some more hours, so lets explain Ogg-San's hut a bit closer. The shelf will restock bottles, dried yarrow and dried comfrey regularly, while the crate is a weeboot save container to share items. It's therefore wise to refill the crate from the shelf, every time you see something in the shelf. Now the shelf contains dried herbs while you need ground herbs for mixing teas. Here the grinder comes into play.

  • get yarrow from shelf
  • grind yarrow in grinder
  • empty grinder
  • put yarrows into 'something'

This is the same for comfrey and other herbs. I would advice not to grind to much yarrow from Ogg-San's shelf. As the dried yarrow has its own value for enchanting.

You might want to learn your first spell before you leave Bes Pelargic.

  • advance magic.spells to 10
  • advance magic.methods to 10
  • advance magic.methods.mental to 15
  • advance magic.methods.spiritual to 15
  • advance magic.methods.mental.charming to 25
  • advance magic.methods.spiritual.summoning to 25
  • advance magic.methods.spiritual.divining to 25
  • say teach me please
  • Hag's Blessing
  • alias cast_hag cast Hag's Blessing;

Now you are ready to take a walk to tuna walk. I advise to chose the morning time for your first trip, so you have some daylight for flying safely. As its unlikely that you need the record of Loo Ni's bar, type "record 1 on broom as Tuna Walk" once you are at the enameled sign. Wait for the t-shop ferry there, enter it and leave it again at brown islands.

Forget to fly at night! As long as you don't have a 180 broom bonus and a 160 other direction bonus. Even then you need two swarms of fireflies and a place to takeoff with a low background magic and a fly to that has as much light as possible.

Earning money in AM

Take care that your broom is full of three trips before you try to takeoff. This will leave two options for a panic start, in case you end up in the Shades, Uberwald or somewhere else. Fly to Florette, or to Sneed or to Dogbottler, or any other well known Ankh-Morpork NPC from brown islands.

Take a look at Airk's map of Ankh-Morpork now.

There is no way exchange Agatean Rhinus into AM dollars. So use up all your Rhinu to advance before you leave Bes Pelgaric. Else those coins would only burden you.

Update: Actually, there are at least two places to convert Agatean and Morporkian currency easily. The currency exchange on Ankh Bridge in west Ankh-Morpork can do it, and so can the changer on Hook Street in Bes Pelargic, north of Tuna Walk.

Your first goal now are $10 to learn the Morporkian language! There are several ways to earn money in AM. You should not walk to Holofernes and continue with mixing and selling green tea to the general shops in AM. There is nothing like Ogg-San's crate in this small cottage, so the number of bottles there are limited, and I don't advise to do so. Better start to become a Ragwoman of Gapp for some time. The Gapp temple in small gods street has an altar to mend clothes. Just walk around the block of Small Gods street, Widdershins Broadway, Filigree and Bakerstreet and type "recover corpse" and "search" in every room. If this "search" comes up with clothes, wear them and proceed, else drop the item. If corpses contain equipment in good condition get it to sell them and bury the corpse afterwards again. In Gapp temple, condition clothes, remove clothes, put clothes on altar, condition clothes, and wait till you are restored to full guild points, to repeat putting the damaged clothes on the altar till everything is fine. One or two walks around the block and you should have your AM$10 to learn Morporkian in the KLK Embassy at Widdershins Broadway. You might want to set up a few more aliases to switch languages :

  • alias morp speak Morporkian;
  • alias agat speak agatean;
  • alias djel speak djelian;

The 3rd, easiest, but not best way is to walk into the Drum, finger the people there, and ask the oldest male for some coins, because you just started as a newbie. I became Korrupt'ed with 6 royals. That had been much more money than I needed during the first online days. And I therefore skipped being Ragwoman of Gapp to earn money. I visited the altar later to mend my clothes, but I never had dirty hands because of searching the streets of AM. "Nicht kratzen - waschen", my mom told and you might need to visit the bath in northeast AM to avoid fleas and other plagues. Take care not to drown in Mort Lake on your way to the bath, but take the longer route north of Holofernes, over Chrononhotonthologos, Seven Sleepers, Pallant Street, Endless Street and Nap Lane. Or use the way from Sator Square, Unreal Estate, Green Lumpy Bit, Endless Street to Nap Lane.

Further dollars should be spend on a backpack from Ettercap Street and you need to exchange all your dollars into Lancre coins in Street of Bookkeepers before you want to visit Bad Ass to advance anything.

Fly to Greebo or Gytha to reach Granny's cottage on early afternoon. Here you'll need some light in the privy to get the key from the nail, to enter the cottage for your first time. You might want to tickle the hook several times, to look into the dressers and shelves and other containers to find some clothing that suits a witch. You might also want to buy a knapsack in Bad Ass instead of a backpack, if you prefer the typical rucksack for a wet henne.

Fighting like a Woman

Once at Granny cottage, you can advance again. Learn Hag's Blessing if you have not done in Ogg-San's hut, and advance fighting to guild maximum here. To advance fighting to 10 will be an expensive thing. The first advance will cost a wee bit less than 14000 xp and 5 Lancre shillings, while the step from 9 to 10 will cost about 16000 xp and 6 Lancre shillings. So you need about 300000 xp and several Lancre crowns to advance fighting to 5, fighting melee to 10 and finally fighting to 10. This will give you 20 skill levels in dagger, polearm, and 15 skill levels in dodging and parrying. The 5 levels you gained in the newbie area will help you now.

So you might fly back to AM to earn some money before evening, walk the night in AM again, wearing a yellow stone ring, that will consume guild points while walking and therefore give experience. Exploring, casting Hag's Blessing, refueling your Broom, flying and using the Gapp altar will be the only way to earn experience before you have some minimum fighting skills. You might want to "shoo flies", if you want to get rid of your fireflies.

You might think about the first victims now. Ask some older hag to brew a bottle of real tea for you before. I advise to visit Sheepridge. The man and woman are easy to kill, have some clothes, and even money. They are also good for fighting TMs at the early stage. The next victims could be found in AM. Poor beggars have a lot of pence, mean mercenaries wear a medallion, and thiefs are wimpy but have nice clothes. Mending their silk shirts might give more experience than killing the thief, so visit the Gapp temple, before you sell clothes. Take care about watchmen and guards in AM. Don't start to fight, if they are in your room and leave the room, if they enter while you are fighting. The victim will most often follow you to continue the fight. Visiting Klatch could also be a good choice, there are lots of rich NPCs that are easy to kill. Consider the NPCs before and only attack those, that are not able to harm you. The following lines might help fighting :

  • monitor on
  • wimpy 30
  • alias oct options combat tactics
  • alias octoff options combat tactics attitude = offensive;
  • alias octneu options combat tactics attitude = neutral;
  • alias octdef options combat tactics attitude = defensive;
  • alias oocb options output combat = brief;
  • alias oocv options output combat = verbose;
  • alias conc concentrate on $*$;

Don't use house hold guard if you start fighting. You wont gain any dodge or parry TMs you you have a guard. To advance any fighting skill is expensive, so any TM is worth hours of playing. You don't need to raise your health to guild max so early. In fact, 500 health isn't that bad. You can kill nearly anything that is considered equal, and you will wimp out with the first real hit you receive, e.g. after a missflight into Uberwald or bandits camp.

But you'll later want to guild max other health and wear some light armour. You want to enchant all your clothing and armour to make it more robust. You might later also want to enchant one pair of daggers to squeeze some more TMs from easier victims. My equipment is :

From Granny's Cottage :

  • a pointy black hat
  • a knapsack

From Plaza of Broken Moons :

  • a pair of leather gloves
  • a pair of leather greaves
  • a pair of leather vambraces
  • a laced-up leather breastplate

From a Assassin friend :

  • a knife belt containing several daggers
  • a utility belt identified as utility pouch

From Madam Cosmopolite :

  • a black tunic
  • a black loincloth
  • a black brassiere
  • a pair of black socks

The Madam Cosmopolite clothing had been the most important part of my armour. The enchanted leather armour is good enough for my 200 dagger and dodge bonus and has less than 10 pounds including the witch hat. But leather armour is warm, so I need some cooling clothes as I fight in Klatch most of the time. I additionally have a desert robe for brown islands and other hot areas and a some warm clothes like an antique dress, a black lace shawl with spiderweb motif, fishnet stockings or a black silk shirt from a Morporkian thief, to visit Lancre or AM.

Trick Yourself to Grandeur

Delusion of Grandeur is the most wanted witch spell, and also the most difficult to learn. Many witches will never learn this spell, as they started out the wrong way. My way might look hard but I know that it works. Your mileage may vary.

My idea is not to learn any spell besides Hag's Blessing and Bond of Loyalty, till you tricked yourself to cast Delusion of Grandeur.

Delusion of Grandeur will require the following bonuses for a good chance of success: S1: divining 169 S2: convoking 224 S3: enchanting 275. Here the enchanting bonus will create the problem, as the guild will only teach till level 50. And this will give only bonus of 169. Raising enchanting by asking players is much more expensive than raising complete trees. And the TMs from the tricks will help to reach a level where Delusion of Grandeur starts to TM.

  • advance ma.me.phy to 15
  • advance ma.it.talisman to 50
  • advance ma.me.men.charming to 50
  • advance ma.me.spi.summoning to 40
  • advance ma.me.phy.binding to 50
  • say teach me please
  • Granny Benedict's Bond of Loyalty
  • advance ma.me.phy.evoking to 30
  • advance ma.me.men.animating to 30
  • advance ma.me.men.convoking to 50
  • advance ma.me.phy.enchanting to 50

Its now time to create your first trick. I hope you collected large hag stones before. You can find them near Granny's cottage at the creek, in Scrogden and in Creel Springs.

The following example trick will do it. You need to replace Yoni with your name. Or might write your own tricks. Having more than one trick will give better experience and might TM faster. Educing a new trick every day, will further increase TM chance. You will also need a trick using convoking to TM this method to a bonus of around 200.

  • convince stone to learn Plum Glade Enchantment
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment that it isn't cast on anything
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment that it has 2 stages
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment to say "Yoni she enchants, to hear her broomstick crying, glades enchant your mind." at stage 1
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment to say "Plums ripe on a tree, she is the serene clearing, enchanting Yoni." at stage 2
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment to say "Watch Yoni flying, deluded in a clearing, teach me please cheering." when finished
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment to tell me "Your name you enchant, to hear your broomstick crying, glades enchanting mind." at stage 1
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment to tell me "Plums ripe on a tree, I am the serene clearing, enchanting myself." at stage 2
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment to tell me "Watch myself flying, deluded in a clearing, teach me please cheering." when finished
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment that stage 1 is average
  • convince Plum Glade Enchantment that stage 2 is average
  • set Plum Glade Enchantment in stone

Go outside in some cold and silent garden - don't educe inside Granny's Cottage or Ogg-San's hut. Either background magic or temperature will increase the chance that your stone will explode and you'll end with a trick spirit zipping around you. Do never attack a trick spirit, even if consider tells you that it would be an easy target. Trick spirits can deal a lot of damage and have a good dodge. You are a witch not an assassin, so you cannot inhume it within one strike.

  • educe Plum Glade Enchantment from stone

Now tricks are evil. Average tricks best TM at a bonus of around 150 while difficult tricks start TMing far beyond Delusion of Grandeur. So first trick yourself up to a bonus of about 180 to 190. The TMs will come slower. So there is a trick for tricks. Wear anti stat items. Having more than 50% burden, will reduce your dexterity by 1, wearing a 2nd backpack or a 2nd bag will reduce your dexterity by 2, drinking intelligence tea that has been brewed by some wet henne will reduce intelligence by 1. You might be able to TM yourself up to a skill level of 120 to 140 using tricks and anti stat items.

You might need to advance the complete physical methods tree to 50 and even the complete methods tree to 50 before you rearrange. I therefore advise not to learn any other spells and methods before you are able to learn Delusion of Grandeur, as those methods will hinder you to max out enchanting on the cheap way by advancing at Granny's. Learning enchanting from a player is much more expensive than the complete methods tree. So it will be cheaper not to learn other spells, before you learned Delusion than vice versa.


A skill level of 140 would even with anti stat items result in a bonus of about 200. This is the final end to TM tricks.

Enchanting is based 3/5 on dexterity and 2/5 on intelligence. A rearrange like dexterity 16 and intelligence 14 will result in a bonus of 233 at a skill level of 130. Wearing a bronze helm will give you an enchanting bonus of 241. This bonus will give you a toss a coins chance for Delusion of Grandeur so it might be time to rearrange once you reached an enchanting skill level of 130, and to TM by casting the real Delusion.


Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall there was this one: "Matters of great concern should be treated lightly." Master Ittei commented, "Matters of small concern should be treated seriously." Among one's affairs there should not be more than two or three matters of what one could call great concern.

I didn't tell that my way is easy. Its a wee bit hard to waive to other spells till you learned to cast Delusion of Grandeur. But ask around other witches. There are many, who never will never be able to cast Delusion and you finally give up being a witch. Everything else will look easy, once you are able to cast this spell. And you might want to invest experience into magic to learn other spells again now.

A high dexterity will benefit to dagger fighting and dodge. My way till Delusion will have a long gap, where you advance fighting, crafts or covert skills instead of magic. The household guard will become obsolete as I'm able to dodge much better than my guard could protect me. I've survived several missflights into Überwald, Bandits camp, the Shades and other dangerous places. I'm able to cast Delusion of Grandeur and have only 8 warts. Ok my tea tastes horrorful and I only use a handful of real spells. But those are skills that are taught by the guild. Easy to gain, now that I solved the difficult goal. While the difficult goal will become impossible to solve, if you wasted your time on the easy things first.

The saying, "Thought by thought we see our own mistakes," also means that the highest way is in discussion with others. There might be some old hags who disagree with me - I hope - thats why I've placed this guide on a wiki, so they could improve or comment my mistakes.