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Umiven ready to skewer rude fools with her Seastick

My aliases Umiven (contribs | skills | finger | achievements)


You see Kareen Umiven Ultion the Witch, Member of the Apex Club, Mental Minx of House Fang, Unmistakable, Unyielding, Buxom Winch.
She is a foul figure of a woman, but a fine figure of a hag.
Why are you looking at a witch so lustfully?  You should be ashamed of yourself!  Didn't your mother teach you any manners?  Best avert your gaze before you loose more than just your nose.  What?  You really want to know?  Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you.  She has a pale and smooth face (apart from all the warts).  Her lips are tightly sealed, which you'd like to keep that way.  Her eyes? Ooh no, you wouldn't dare look straight into her eyes.
She is in good shape.
She is standing.
You can't help but notice thirty warts upon her face.
She has Guardian Imp floating around her.
An ivory moon dragon is perched on her shoulder.
Tiny violet stars seem to twinkle on her skin.
A red and green frog sits on her shoulder.
There is a soft glow of beauty to her features.


 /  .-.        ____ ____ ____ _  _ _ ____ ____ ____        .-.  \ 
|  /   \       [__  |___ |__/ |  | | |    |___ [__        /   \  |
| |\_.  |      ___] |___ |  \  \/  | |___ |___ ___]      |    /| |
|\|  | /|                                                |\  | |/|
\ `---' |------------------------------------------------| `---' /
 \     /              free for fellow witches             \     /
  `---' 50% discount for characters aged 3 days or younger `---'

- Amalgamating (up to 4): A$20/added badge
- Bonding: A$50/item
- Deliveries: "refer witch delivery service"
- Deluding: A$100/item
- Enchanting (Lvl 4): A$100/item
- Splinting: A$50/leg
- Teas {BWB 323}: price depends on the volume; for more info, ask me via a tell or read the board in the Illuminated Teapot
I might be able to enchant up to level 5 and amalgamate 5 badges.  Doing so will incur addition preparation time and an additional cost.

All prices are non-negotiable and can be payed in local equivalence.  In case of non-payment, I will keep the item(s) in a safe location until the service(s) can be payed for in full.

Uncompleted Quests

Abuser of Bugs, Azure, Barbarian Hero, Catchy Rescuer, Competent Banisher, Crypt Robber, Demon Squeezer, Djelian Warrior Champion, Faithful Flitch, Hatched Out, Homarus Hugger, Maestro, Private Detective, Radiant Adventurer, Scraps Mender, Superior Sportsman, Tree Hugger, Veteran Explorer, Wielder of Klangs

If you want to help me complete any of these quests, please give me a tell.



[x] Brew every potion
[x] Get all primaries to 300
[x] Get all squints
[x] Mock properly
[x] Make tricks
[x] Plint legs
[x] Get all commands
[x] All languages to 90


[ ] Figure out horses + get all related commands
[ ] Complete all quests
[ ] P-house
[ ] Iron broomstick