User:Helaena

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The Girl who is not Helena, but Helaena

You see Mlle Helaena d'Belle the Witch.
She is a sarcastic young human lass.
She is a Witch, or something a little earlier in the alphabet. If one was to judge, a certain twist to her lips and set of her jaw suggests either are entirely possible. If one was to judge within the range of her hearing, however, the cool glint in her pale eyes suggests the answer of 'both' would suddenly become infinitely more likely.

Helmaps, Zmud Cartography

I run Zmud 7.21, and use its mapper to track the layout of the disc. I endeavour to have up-to-date maps of the game that can be used via Zmud/Cmud. Updates have previously been based via email-groups in a zipped folder. Updates are done at my discretion, and based on my finding a room that's been altered, added, removed, enso on. Credit for the original bare bones stock goes to Oozenthor, who sadly stopped updating back in 2008 - which meant I've changed about 80% or more of the files since.

At this time, I'm not publicly distributing my maps - as I use them primarily for myself, they include a lot of secret areas and quest information. Since I like not being banned or given the stinkeye from the thieves/assassins/etc, my current versions are not being circulated. I may eventually split the project to include a 'safe' version of the map for others. That's assuming I am ever motivated enough to get off my arse, tho.

In Game to Wiki Projects

  • BP Family Titles - Charts completed. Some titles still missing.
  • Login gift - gathering information.
  • Sto Lat Pets - Getting data for the Sto Lat Pets, the Colour/adjective list for each animal.
  • Dragon Spotters - Working off of Keshita. Putting together charts, gathering missing data.

Reminders

This is how you Reroute: '#REDIRECT articlename' To add a nametag: '--Helaena 05:16, 17 November 2010 (UTC)'

Reboot songs, wisped actions included (as updates allow)

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Right! Now what shall I sing? Something from Areyem, M C Mallet, Newbie King, Lynched Liam, '''The Papas with the Papas''', The Hamlet Persons, Orphans Impovision Workshop, The Boggles, Patricienne, Lappet Faced Worriers, Mellow Yellow Wahooni Fruits or Enim Rac?

Areyem

(Two) Sokkard wisps: That's great, it starts with a Discquake, frogs and wombles, an assassin vain and Ilik is not afraid.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dress of a wizard, listen to yourself chat - Disc serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs. Warriors in an aux speak, grunt, no, strength.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Uh oh, overflow, population, common speak, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. Witches serve their own needs, listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and the revered and the right, right.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's the end of the Disc as we know it.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's the end of the Disc as we know it.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's the end of the Disc as we know it and I feel fine.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's the end of the Disc as we know it.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's the end of the Disc as we know it.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's the end of the Disc as we know it and I feel fine.

M C Mallet

(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'd like it to be known that my trousers are extra baggy for this number.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The-the-the-the hammers hit me so hard
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Makes me say, 'Oh my gods, thank you for blessing me'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: With a mind to run and two quick feet.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It feels good when you know you're sown
(Two) Sokkard wisps: An idiot homeboy from Lancre Town.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I'm known as such
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And this is a beat you can't touch.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I told you Ilik: you can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Yeah, that's how we livin' and you know: you can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Breathe in my dust, man. You can't touch this.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics: you can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Fresh new socks and pants.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You got it like that now you know you wanna dance!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So chase me down the street and get a hot friend and catch this beat
(Two) Sokkard wisps: While it's rolling, hold on.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Clean up that hammer and let 'em know it's going on!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Like that? Like that.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Lost while you're hunting so fall on back,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Let 'em know that I'm too much
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And this is a beat they can't touch.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Break it down!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: STOP!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hammertime!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Search Ankh-Morpork! It is said
(Two) Sokkard wisps: That if you can't track me down then you're probably dead.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So wave your hands in the air, bust a few moves,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ram your hammers through my hair.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: This is it for a winter.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Chase me down an' you're gonna get thinner.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Move slide your rump.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Just for a minute, let's all do the bump
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Bump bump bump!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Yeah, you can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Look man, you can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You better prepare, boy 'cause you know you can't, you can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ring the bell, hammers out!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Break it down!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Stop!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hammertime!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Every time you see me the Sokkard's just so hyped.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: My guts on the floor but I'm still on the mike.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Now why would I ever stop doing this?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: When you're all using weapons that just don't hit
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I've toured around the world from Lancre to the Bay.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's Sokkard! Go Sokkard! M.C. Sokkard! Yo Sokkard!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Only hammers hit the spot,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Can't touch this!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Yo, we outta here, can't touch this!

Newbie King

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Rightio, Helaena, Newbie King it is then!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: "Welcome to Discworld," she said to me, newbie soulling me.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Help me plz. Group with me. Take me to Djelibeybi...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I never lived the dreams of a number king.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm an advancement fiend, I like to think my primaries...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: ...will soon guildmax.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Must...not...sleep...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: They love to tell you: Stay inside OC.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But XP's better over in BP.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna run through the Halls of Sandelfon.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna shout I JUST KILLED THE LAG!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Just a lie the newbies talk about...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So the good boys an' girls hunt the so-called Deep Shades,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Baby, I'm Hat - BOO! - tian.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: At sanity's end.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I read all the books but I can't find 668 Elm St.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And all of the oldbies, they're getting older.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wonder if they'd wish for a Grflx,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: if they got another chance for a genie.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: They love to tell you: Stay inside OC.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But XP's better over in BP.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna run through the Halls of Sandelfon.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna shout I JUST KILLED THE LAG!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I just found out there's no such thing as a TM.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Just a lie the newbies talk about...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So the good boys an' girls hunt the so-called Deep Shades,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Baby, I'm Hat - BOO! - tian.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: At sanity's end.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I read all the books but I can't find 668 Elm St.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm invincible.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm invincible.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm invincible, as long as I'm a tank.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna run through the Halls of Sandelfon.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna shout I JUST KILLED THE LAG!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I just found out there's no such thing as a TM.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Just a lie the newbies talk about...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So the good boys an' girls hunt the so-called Deep Shades,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Baby, I'm Hat - BOO! - tian.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: At sanity's end.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I read all the books but I can't find 668 Elm St.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I just can't wait 'til Amsterdamned.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I wanna drink out the local pub!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And when I stand on the table before you,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: you will know my name is Gufnork.

Lynched Liam

(Two) Sokkard wisps: ... Whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I went down to Morpork and saw Dibbler
(Two) Sokkard wisps: He was, like, Sausage, Guv?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I was, like, Whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Then this troll comes up to me and she's all, like,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hey, aren't you that Sokkard??
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I'm, like, Yeah, whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So later I'm at the Mended Drum
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And this witch comes up
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And she's, like, Wotcher!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I'm, like, Yeah, whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: 'Cuz this is my
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ankh-Mor-pork of Whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And this is my
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ankh-Mor-pork of Whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And this is my
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ankh-Mor-pork of Whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And then it's three A.M.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I'm in the Shades, wearing my leather
(Two) Sokkard wisps: This 'sasswot comes up and he's, like, Hey, punk!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm, like, Yeah, whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Then I'm spamming, on (two)
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Captain Carrot comes up and is, like,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: 'Hey, I thought I told you...'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I'm, like, Yeah, whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And then up comes Ilik
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm, like, Yo, Ilik. What's up?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: He's, like, Nothin'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I'm, like, That's cool.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: 'Cuz this is my,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ankh-Mor-pork of Whatever!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And this is my,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Ankh-Mor-pork of Whatever!

The Papas with the Papas

(Two) Sokkard wisps: All the streets are bare
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And the sky is grey
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I've been for a group
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On a winter's day
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'd be safe and warm
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Back in KLK
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Djelibeybi dreamin'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On such a winter's day
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Stopped into a temple
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I passed along the way
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Well I grabbed a sacrifice
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And filled the silver tray
(Two) Sokkard wisps: That's how Sek likes it in the cult
(Two) Sokkard wisps: He knows I'm gonna stay
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Djelibeybi dreamin'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On such a winter's day
(Two) Sokkard wisps: All the streets are bare
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And the sky is grey
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I've been for a group
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On a winter's day
(Two) Sokkard wisps: If I could just portal
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I could leave today
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Djelibeybi dreamin'
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On such a winter's day
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On such a winter's day
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On such a winter's day

The Hamlet Persons

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young man, there's no need to feel down
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I said, young man, you're in Ankh-Morpork town
(Two) Sokkard wisps: There's no need to be unhappy
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young man, there's a place you can go
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I said, young man, when you're short on your dough
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Many ways to have a good time.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: They have everything For young men to enjoy.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can hang out with all the big boys.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can get yourself clean
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can have a good meal
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can do whoever you feel.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young Man, I was once in your socks,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I said, I was down and out with the flocks
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I felt, no man cared if I were around
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But the sheep were all near the ground
(Two) Sokkard wisps: That's when someone came up to me
(Two) Sokkard wisps: and said young man bugger off to AM
(Two) Sokkard wisps: There's a place there called the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Don't let the door slam on your way out.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: They have everything For young men to enjoy.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can hang out with the little boys.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's fun to stay at the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young man, Young man, there's no need to feel down
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young man, Young man, pick yourself off the ground
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: just go to the Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young Man, Young Man, I was once in your socks,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Young Man, Young Man, I was out with the flocks
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Y.M.R.C.I.G.B.S.A
(Two) Sokkard wisps that he fades off...

Orphans Impovision Workshop

Do, do de do de do, Do, do de do de do,
Sunny Day
Farmin' the prey away
On my way to where the blood is sweet
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Filigree Street
Come and slay
Everything A-OK
Un-friendly neighbors there
That's where theres meat
Can you tell me how to get
How to get the Filigree Street
It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will lockpick wide
To happy people like you--
Happy people to
put a sword through
Sunny Day
Farmin' the prey away
On my way to where the blood is sweet
Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Filigree Street...
How to get to Filigree Street
How to get to...

The Boggles

I heard you telling stories back on channel (Two)
Listening on in dread, I hoped it wasn't true
Even ignore could not stop you from coming through
Oh a oh!
The hapless subjects of your tale cried bastardry
Said it was lies and said that you should surely flee
And then you went and told them lies all about me
Oh a oh!
Why me, your victim?
Oh a oh!
What is your problem?
Somebody killed the storyteller
Somebody killed the storyteller
Kicked him wide and kicked him far
Oh a oh oh oh!
No-one could scry you, so we all searched high and low
Then someone found you wandering up Pleaders' Row
And then you cut out halfway through your tale of woe
Oh a oh!
You went all quiet!
Oh a oh!
Perhaps you died?
Somebody killed the storyteller
Somebody killed the storyteller
His untrue lies are in the past, yes Sokkard has been hushed at last
Oh a oh oh oh!
Oh a oh oh oh!
Somebody killed the storyteller
Somebody killed the storyteller
He's gone now till the next regen, and then we'll kill him once again
Why can he not just take a hint? And like the Slab, put lies in print?

Patricienne

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Is this the real life?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Is this just fantasy?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Cori Celesti,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Heading down to reality.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Wandering by,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The Womble, she cried at me
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'm just a newbie, Plz will u group with me?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Because I'm without guild, without gold,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Unfulfilled, uncontrolled,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Mind which way the wind blows,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I can smell Ankh Morpork from here,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: From here.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Mummy, just killed a dog.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Found a dagger in the street,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Started fighting, now he's meat.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Mummy, I'd just left the Drum,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But stabbing things came naturally to me.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Mummy, ooooooooh,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Didn't mean to make him die,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The poor thing won't be back again tomorrow.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I'll be gone, I'll be gone.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But it doesn't really matter.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Too late, my time had come.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Met a guy WHO TALKED LIKE THIS,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Those old ladies didn't miss :(
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Gotta POPPADOM with DEATH, and face the truth.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Mummy, ooooooooooh,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I don't want to die
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But I'm a ghost, my corpse is lost, oh noooooooo....
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I see a bunch of little manic grinning dwarfs
(Two) Sokkard wisps: What is this? What is this?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I was only fighting! Now they're really frightening me!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: (Get a Pishite!) Contact Harry! (Get a Pishite!) Contact Harry!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Get a Pishite and a res! Magnifico!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: t pishite I'm just a poor ghost, I've got no body.
(Two) Althea wisps: He's just a poor ghost, got by old ladies
(Two) Althea wisps: Give him his life! Junction Short and Filigree
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Now alive, killed again, watchman saw me go,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Car-rot says:
(Two) Carrot wisps: NO! We will not let you go!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Let me go!
(Two) Carrot wisps: We will not let you go!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Let me go!
(Two) Carrot wisps: To the yard we go!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Let me go!
(Two) Carrot wisps: To the yard we go!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Let me go, oh, oh, oh
(Two) Carrot wisps: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Oh Captain Carrot, Captain Carrot
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Captain Carrot, Let me go!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The Constable has my weapons put aside for me,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: For me, for me!
(Two) Sokkard wisps that he does a little dance
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So you think you can catch me and paddle my hide?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So you think you can jail me and leave me inside?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Oh, maybe, just this once will you jail me,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here!
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Nothing really matters,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Anyone can see,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Idle with the talker,
(Two) Sokkard wisps: One and two are everything to me.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Smell which way the Ankh flows...

Lappet Faced Worriers

(Two) Sokkard wisps that he gets a dusty guitar from who knows where...
(Two) Sokkard wisps that he starts strumming a slow but catchy tune...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And now, Hotel CMOT Dibbler...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: On the dark Lancre highway, Blue frogs in my hair
(Two) Sokkard wisps: One smell of the swamp gas, Drifting up through the air
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Up ahead in the gloomy, I saw a wibbily light
(Two) Sokkard wisps: My backpack heavy, and my rations slim
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I had to camp for the night
(Two) Sokkard wisps: There was Gran in the doorway, I heard our Nanny yell
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And I was thinking to myselves, This could be pizza but what is that smell?
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Then she lit up a lantern, And she showed me the way
(Two) Sokkard wisps: There were Wizards in the corridor
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I throught I heard them say
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Welcome to the hotel C-mot-Dibb-ler
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Such a lively place
(Two) Ilik wisps: Such a lively place...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Stare death in the face
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Plenty of room at the hotel C-mot-Dibb-ler
(Two) Sokkard wisps: All the food is dear
(Two) Ilik wisps: All the food is dear...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can buy tea here
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Her brain is definitely hive mind, She's got the broomstick again
(Two) Sokkard wisps: She's got a lot of very handy spells, And some witchy friends
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Now the thieves in the plaza, Steal shiny treats
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Some thieve for the quota, Some thieve to the beat
(Two) Sokkard wisps: So I talked with the Captain, Head of family Vimes
(Two) Sokkard wisps: He said..
(Two) Ilik wisps: We haven't used any logic here since, the beginning of time.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And still those Wizards are chanting from far away
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Casting runes in the middle of the night
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Just to hear me say
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Welcome to the hotel C-mot-Dibb-ler
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Such a lively place
(Two) Ilik wisps: Such a lively place...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Stare death in the face
(Two) Sokkard wisps: They're livin' it up at the Hotel C-mot-Dibb-ler
(Two) Sokkard wisps: What a nice sunrise
(Two) Ilik wisps: What a nice sunrise...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Watch the fireflies
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Fruitbats on the ceiling, They drink scumble on ice
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And she said We are all just fictional beings
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Of our own device, And in the Bursar's chambers
(Two) Sokkard wisps: They womble like a beast, They pragi with their victims eyes
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But they just can't cook the feast
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Last thing I remember, I was rolling on the floor
(Two) Sokkard wisps: I had to find the portal back to the beer I drunk before
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Relax said the Sek priest, We are bursting to relieve
(Two) Sokkard wisps: You can eat here any time you like, And catch a bad disease!

Mellow Yellow Wahooni Fruits

(Two) Sokkard wisps: Before I sing I'd like to apologise to any musicians who might be present.
(Two) Sokkard wisps that he pulls out a guitar and strums out a catchy, slightly melancholy tune...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Civil servants from Agatea
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Struggling over haiku creation
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And little girls from Lancre
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of silver screen flirtations.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And if you want these kind of dreams
(Two) Sokkard wisps: It's Two-times-fournication.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Its the edge of the world
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And all of Krullian civilization
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The sun may rise in the Hub
(Two) Sokkard wisps: At least it settles in the final location
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Its understood that Holywood
(Two) Sokkard wisps: sells Two-times-fournication.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Treat your good witch very well
(Two) Sokkard wisps: To break Aliss' spell of aging
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Cobwebs and things covering your kin
(Two) Sokkard wisps: The problem with bewitching.
(Two) Sokkard wisps: White dress has been torn
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hard core, banged corn
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of Two-times-fournication
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of Two-times-fournication
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Marry me Magrat be godmother to the world
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Queen my very Lancre Nation
(Two) Sokkard wisps: A teenage troll with a pebble inside
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Getting high on slab tritrations
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And buy me a cart to Pseudopolis Yard
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Its Two-times-fournication
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Uberwald was the final frontier
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Now there're clacks over the nation
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Most Vampires sitting in the Biers
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Singing songs to ward off temptation
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And harmoniums are not far away
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Its Two-times-fournication...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Plenty of lays for those who paid
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Sonky's control of population
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Most Morporkians have been there
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And those people on vacation
(Two) Sokkard wisps: White dress has been torn
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hard core, banged corn
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of Two-times-fournication
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of Two-times-fournication
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Llamedos leads to a long road
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Which creates musical elation
(Two) Sokkard wisps: And earthquakes are to Buddy's guitar
(Two) Sokkard wisps: One of his many good vibrations
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But audio waves couldnt save the Disc
(Two) Sokkard wisps: From Two-times-fournication...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Pay your Igor very well
(Two) Sokkard wisps: (The surgeon who is lisping)
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Victor and the rest
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Missed their wizardly' test
(Two) Sokkard wisps: But this is what you're craving
(Two) Sokkard wisps: White dress has been torn
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Hard core, banged corn
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of Two-times-fournication...
(Two) Sokkard wisps: Dream of Two-times-fournication...

Enim Rac

Sokkard wisps: Healing tea's gone weak, I'm
Sokkard wisps: wondering why I got out my warhammer at all,
Sokkard wisps: The Autumn fog clouds up my window and I can't see at all,
Sokkard wisps: And even if I could it'd be a ll grey, but with your head nailed to my wall,
Sokkard wisps: It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.
Sokkard wisps: Dear Ilik, I backstabbed you but you sill ain't fallin;
Sokkard wisps: I kebabbed you twice in the back in autumn,
Sokkard wisps: You cannot have missed 'em
Sokkard wisps: But anyways, DUCK it, what's been up man, how's Dogbolt-R?
Sokkard wisps: My creator's evil too, corrupted by the power.
Sokkard wisps: Oh, about the way you walk straight into ambushes? That's just dense!
Sokkard wisps: I read about your partner Clarence too, I'm not that sorry.
Sokkard wisps: I tried to kill him too, although that's another story.
Sokkard wisps: I know you probably hear this every day, but I want to kill you if I can.
Sokkard wisps: I got a vault full of your body parts, man.
Sokkard wisps: I hope you choke soon, just before Sokkard's chat.
Sokkard wisps: This is Enim, your worst fan.
Sokkard wisps: Dear Ilik, you still ain't dropped or absconded, I hope you have the chance.
Sokkard wisps: I ain't mad, it just makes me think there's no justice on the disc.
Sokkard wisps: If you didn't want to talk to me outside the T-shop you didn't have to.
Sokkard wisps: But you could not have stolen my brand new Retribution, that's just daft.
Sokkard wisps: It was my dream to own that weapon, I worked my fingers to the bone.
Sokkard wisps: I worked in the blistering cold for the cash for fifty days and ya just stole it!
Sokkard wisps: I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' stole from.
Sokkard wisps: I've gone and framed you with Chryophrase, the troll don.
Sokkard wisps: you'd better watch your back. See I'm just like you in a way.
Sokkard wisps: I want to see yer dead.
Sokkard wisps: I want to place a contract on yer head.
Sokkard wisps: Cause I don't got much else to do.
Sokkard wisps: No one hates you more than me, Ilik, no one does.
Sokkard wisps: They just don't know how annoying you've been while I was growing up.
Sokkard wisps: I've gotta kill you man. I'll have so many fans, you be the only one to lose.
Sokkard wisps: Sincerely yours, your worst fan. PS: I should kill Nadow too.
Sokkard wisps: Dear Mr. 'I'm too good to die',
Sokkard wisps: This'll be the last exploding package I ever send your sorry donkey.
Sokkard wisps: It's been six months and still no death. I don't deserve it?
Sokkard wisps: I know you got my last to letterbombs, I fixed the fuses on 'em perfect.
Sokkard wisps: So this is my iconoimp I'm sending you. I hope you hear it.
Sokkard wisps: I'm in the cart right now. I'm doing 50 on Upper Broadway.
Sokkard wisps: Hey Ilik, I drank a pint of scumble, ya dare me to drive?
Sokkard wisps: You heard the rumor by Sokkard?
Sokkard wisps: That some guy fitting yer description was seen?
Sokkard wisps: Putting a contract on me by the Lancre Queen?
Sokkard wisps: That's just sick man, I spent 5000 dollars on snuffing out yer life.
Sokkard wisps: You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it.
Sokkard wisps: See Ilik,
Sokkard wisps: Shut up you, I'm trying to talk.
Sokkard wisps: Hey, Ilik, that's Anarual screaming in the trunk.
Sokkard wisps: Well, gotta go, I'm almost at Brass Bridge now.
Sokkard wisps: Poot, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this imp out?
Sokkard wisps: <screeching wheels, crashing sounds, cart splashes into the water>
Ilik wisps: Dear My Worst Fan, I meant to steal from you sooner, but I've just been busy.
Ilik wisps: You said you put a message bomb for me now, how large would you say it is?
Ilik wisps: Look, I'm really flattered you would try to kill me like that.
Ilik wisps: And here's a box of fuses for your parcels: I sent it in this cardboard box.
Ilik wisps: Ilik wisps: I'm not that sorry I stole your Ret, I almost missed you.
I was coded this way to teach players to keep their money safe,
Ilik wisps: You have to admit it's worked, you don't see that many rich newbies over the place.
Ilik wisps: You got some issues, Fan, I think you need to take up something more healthy,
Ilik wisps: Try alligator dentistry or jumping off some belfrey.
Ilik wisps: Why are you so mad? Try to understand, I want to steal from you too.
Ilik wisps: I want you to let me take your royals and your warhammer too.
Ilik wisps: I read about someone in the Green Slab last week, it made me laugh.
Ilik wisps: Some troll was drunk and drove his cart over a bridge
Ilik wisps: And in the cart they founda dictoimp and it said who it was to.
Ilik wisps: Come to think about it... the name was Enim... it was you. HAHAHA!