Quest:Morpork quests

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CADAVER CORRODER, in which you burned the life back in. (4 QP)

Items: lemons, a few at a time or pickle them (fruit shop on baker street, fruit stall in Djelibeybi bazaar, fruit store on Garlic Street in Djelibeybi)
Items: rat corpses (search streets, plenty on sold part of Ankh River, or kill a few at a time in Rattigan's house on Contact Walk)
The first thing to do is go to the Alchemists' Guild on Street of Alchemists. On the first floor above ground level is a classroom with Bradley Weiss in it. Say "regurgitator" to get instructions, then "search shelves" repeatedly, but don't go AFK or anything because cockroaches sometimes crawl out of the shelves and into your ears. Ugh. "shake" a few times and kill the roaches before they crawl back in. You also might get hit with spilled acid when you search, but you can dodge this with decent bonus. Keep searching until you basically have vials filled with acids that are at least 10 different colours. Store them in a useful pack or satchel, then go get a few lemons and rat corpses from a source listed above. For the first few attempts, Bradley will tell you to use specific acid colours, so do as he says. They won't succeed of course, but you have to go through the motions for this quest. The commands are: attach corpse to harness
attach lemon to apparatus
pour vial into dish
flick switch
After doing the acids Bradley lists, you'll need to do another five or so to get the quest. At some point in the process, a giant rat dog might appear, and either try to eat you or become your pet. Oookay.

CORN POPPER, in which you helped a student ruin his future career. (4 QP)

Items: glass of milk (Mended Drum bar, or drink shop on Attic Bee - be sure to get it from the counter) Items: 2-3 cobs of corn (fruit shop on Baker street - scrape off the kernels) Items: vial or bottle of Better Butter Base (searching the shelves in Bradley's classroom) Go to the room in the Alchemists' Guild on Street of Alchemists that has a Buttery machine in it. "pour" the glass of milk into the buttery, "pour" the vial or bottle of butter base into the buttery, then "turn" the handle on the buttery. Get the butter from the butter. Put the butter and all of the corn kernels into the Banger, and CLOSE IT. "light" the fuse on the banger, then open it and get the grains from the banger. Find Neelie Awkside, usually on Street of Alchemists or nearby, and give him the banged grains. He requires a certain amount all at once, so be sure you're doing at least 2 cobs worth of corn, 3 if possible.

CRYPT ROBBER, in which you broke into an ancient crypt. (1 QP)

Having completed the VETERAN EXPLORER quest below and killed the greater demon then head north once. In this room, you have to "open coffin". This is disguised as a stone table. Then you can "get all" from the coffin.

KEEN OBSERVER, in which you saw something overlooked by most. (1 QP)

Search the desk in the prison area of the Dolly Sisters watch house to acquire a doorknob. Go upstairs to the room with Lance-Constable Cryolite and go east.

MASTER OF CEREMONIES, in which you performed a mystic ceremony. (4 QP)

There are two ways to do this quest:
Items: 1 eagle feather per participant (from Bandit Camp eagle quest - a repeatable quest)
1) For wizards and witches: Between 11:30pm and 12:30am Disc time, walk diagnally (northwest/southeast) through the connected rooms at the bottom of the tower of Art until you are magically transported to a room in the clouds. Place the eagle feather on the statue.
2) For priests, assassins, warriors and thieves: This involves three players, once of which should be a priest. Read the book in the tower of the mansion near the intersection of Short Street with Attic Bee. First the priest should say "sulamore" and then "galimore". The other two should then say "duvanti".

MIDAS IN REVERSE, in which you turned gold into gold, more or less. (4 QP)

Items: AM$100-200
Look for Scrooge 2 floors above ground level in the Alchemists' Guild on the Street of Alchemists. Say "yes" and he'll tell you to fetch several ingredients:
1) chalk (white pebble - available in Alchemists Guild shop) slate (grey pebble), or cinnabar (red pebble), all available from the troll vendor on Quarry Lane. If it's too big to carry, use a hammer to chip it
2) an ore, available from the shop on the ground floor of the Alchemists' Guild
3) an acid, available from the shelves one floor down in Bradley's classroom. He won't say the acid colour, but call it by its proper name. So you need to go to the library nearby in the Guild and "research" until you find a scrap of paper that indicates the acid colour for that substance. If he asks for nitrate, you'll need bat guano from a pooping fruitbat, and batsup from the acid shelves. Then use the nitrolator in the Guild to form nitrate out of them.
4) a vial of something available by searching the storage closet nearby in the Guild
5) Various amounts of gold coins, from a money changer. This might be $100-$200 worth, taking exchange rates into account.
Give him each item as he asks for it, to get him to ask for the next. After giving him the gold, he'll turn it into more gold or platinum coins.

SEASONED EXPLORER, in which you discovered a hidden dungeon. (? QP)

First go to the flats on Short Street just south of Street of Small Gods. Go all the way upstairs, and into the south flat. Go into the bedroom and go "up" then "search nest" to get the weather-beaten key. Take the key and go to the mansion across the street. Inside, "press switch" and go down. Don't wander around further unless you know what you're doing.

TRUE ALCHEMIST, in which you went out with a bang. (6 QP)

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VETERAN EXPLORER, in which you discovered new areas in the hidden dungeon. (4 QP)

Skills: Unknown, some fighting.
To complete this quest, you will need first of all the amulet wind demon upstairs in the Old Mansion on Short Street. To get this go upstairs to the first level, go west into the room there and then "search". This will reveal a hidden exit to the north. Go north then go west into a hidden corridor. Go south into another room. You will need to disarm the trap in this room before going south. You will need to either lpick the door to the south or get the key from the dwarf corpse mentioned in the Axe Dealer quest. By either method, head south after disarming the trap and in this room is the wind demon. To get the demon to appear, you will need to open the box on the table with "open box". This can be done only once per reset. You will then need to kill the demon after which it drops the amulet or it will be on its corpse. Get it but do not wear it as it breaks in combat very readily. You will then need to go downstairs and enter the hidden cellar as per the Seasoned Explorer quest. Where the dwarf corpse is, there is a blade trap. You will need to disarm the trap, or get it disarmed for you. Then head east once. To head east again, you will need the key given to you by Stavic or be able to lpick the door to the east. Go east using either method. There are usually 3 demons there. You will need to kill them, or get help doing so. Once they are dead, go east again, where there is usually a banshee. To get rid of the banshee, you need the amulet taken from the wind demon. Use demon on banshee, or use amulet on banshee and it should disappear and the amulet will crumble. Then disarm the trap in this room gas trap. In the next room east is the greater demon. To kill this demon, you will need to have done the Master of Ceremonies quest or you can also get someone to kill it for you. Reaching this room will get you the Veteran Explorer Quest. Go on now to the Crypt Robber quest above. One of the above directions is wrong, and should involve going "up".