Quest:Alchemists' Guild quests
CADAVER CORRODER, in which you burned the life back in. (4 QP)
Items: lemons, a few at a time or pickle them (fruit shop on baker street, fruit stall in Djelibeybi bazaar, fruit store on Garlic Street in Djelibeybi)
Items: rat corpses (search streets, plenty on sold part of Ankh River, or kill a few at a time in Rattigan's house on Contact Walk)
The first thing to do is go to the Alchemists' Guild on Street of Alchemists. On the first floor above ground level is a classroom with Bradley Weiss in it. Say "regurgitator" to get instructions, then "search shelves" repeatedly, but don't go AFK or anything because cockroaches sometimes crawl out of the shelves and into your ears. Ugh. "shake" a few times and kill the roaches before they crawl back in. You also might get hit with spilled acid when you search, but you can dodge this with decent bonus. Keep searching until you basically have vials filled with acids that are at least 10 different colours. Store them in a useful pack or satchel, then go get a few lemons and rat corpses from a source listed above. For the first few attempts, Bradley will tell you to use specific acid colours, so do as he says. They won't succeed of course, but you have to go through the motions for this quest. The commands are: attach corpse to harness
attach lemon to apparatus
pour vial into dish
After doing the acids Bradley lists, you'll need to do another five or so to get the quest. At some point in the process, a giant rat dog might appear, and either try to eat you or become your pet. Oookay.
CORN POPPER, in which you helped a student ruin his future career. (4 QP)
Items: glass of milk (from Mended Drum Bar or drink shop on Attic Bee - be sure to get it from the counter) Items: 2-3 cobs of corn (fruit shop on Baker street - scrape off the kernels) Items: vial or bottle of Better Butter Base (searching the shelves in Bradley's classroom) Go to the room in the Alchemists' Guild on Street of Alchemists that has a Buttery machine in it. "pour" the glass of milk into the buttery, "pour" the vial or bottle of butter base into the buttery, then "turn" the handle on the buttery. Get the butter from the butter. Put the butter and all of the corn kernels into the Banger, and CLOSE IT. "light" the fuse on the banger, then open it and get the grains from the banger. Find Neelie Awkside, usually on Street of Alchemists or nearby, and give him the banged grains. He requires a certain amount all at once, so be sure you're doing at least 2 cobs worth of corn, 3 if possible.
MIDAS IN REVERSE, in which you turned gold into gold, more or less. (4 QP)
Look for Scrooge 2 floors above ground level in the Alchemists' Guild on the Street of Alchemists. Say "yes" and he'll tell you to fetch several ingredients:
1) chalk (white pebble - available in Alchemists Guild shop) slate (grey pebble), or cinnabar (red pebble), all available from the troll vendor on Quarry Lane. If it's too big to carry, use a hammer to chip it
2) an ore, available from the shop on the ground floor of the Alchemists' Guild
3) an acid, available from the shelves one floor down in Bradley's classroom. He won't say the acid colour, but call it by its proper name. So you need to go to the library nearby in the Guild and "research" until you find a scrap of paper that indicates the acid colour for that substance. If he asks for nitrate, you'll need bat guano from a pooping fruitbat, and batsup from the acid shelves. Then use the nitrolator in the Guild to form nitrate out of them.
4) a vial of something available by searching the storage closet nearby in the Guild
5) Various amounts of gold coins, from a money changer. This might be $100-$200 worth, taking exchange rates into account.
Give him each item as he asks for it, to get him to ask for the next. After giving him the gold, he'll turn it into more gold or platinum coins.
TRUE ALCHEMIST, in which you went out with a bang. (6 QP)
Items: 10-50 hours free time (not all at once), extreme patience, no creators within maiming distance
Go to the room with with the Central Amalgamator upstairs in the Alchemists' Guild on the Street of Alchemists. Pull 6 levels (most of them should be different levers) and push the button. You'll turn blue, get gassed (leave til it clears), be knocked unconscious, set on fire, and generally have a miserable time for the duration. The current theory is that higher levers are more likely to produce an explosion. It is, however, totally random with every single pull. This means that players are NOT assigned a combination that works for them when they start the quest. Instead, each time you push the button there is an insanely small chance that the guild will explode, assuming you pulled levers 6 times and they were mostly different levers and maybe that they were higher levers as well. If you succeed, you'll go flying through the air and get broken legs, and possibly some gold and a diamond.