Fools Guild

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The Fools Guild Motto and Coat of arms.

About the guild

The Fools' Guild is a trading and training organisation for clowns, jesters and other practitioners of slapstick humour. It is located in Ankh-Morpork, next door to the Guild of Assassins, for which it is often mistaken. Originally named the Guild of Fools, Joculators, Minstrels, Buffoons and Mime Artists, but due to the peculiar predilections of Lord Vetinari, who hangs mimes upside down in his dungeons in full sight of a placard reading "LEARN THE WORDS", the mime element has been dropped.

The Guild timeline:

- 1547 UC a mysterious fire and earthquake affecting only the immediate area of the corner of God Street and Widdershins Broadway destroys both The Brotherhood of Infernal Zoth the Undying Renderer and their monastery.

- 1567 UC Jean-Paul Pune arrives in Ankh Morpork from Quirm, purchases the vacated monastery site with the intention of creating a school. Recognising the usefulness of the recently created guild titles in promoting his new school, Pune applies for and receives one. Thus the Fools Guild is unique amongst the guilds in Ankh Mopork to have received guild recognition before having any facilities or students.

- 1788 UC The Guild of Fools, Joculators, Minstrels, Buffoons and Mime Artists merges with another Pune project Quirm Société Joyeux, La Sorbumme. The latter becoming the summer school of the Fools Guild.

- 01/04/2019 RWC the guild premises open for the first time in the mud.[1]

(UC = university calendar,RWC = round world calendar)


Players can join the guild in the receptionist's office where Geoffrey is located (2 south of the eastern courtyard room) by entering the join command. This is also where you can specialise the extra two skills you'd like to have as primaries.

Advancement & Commands

The advancement area (2 north of the eastern courtyard room) is used to advance skills and you can type help here to learn more.

You can say teach me please in the Advancement area and Brother Auguste will teach you commands.

Fools Specific


There is also a newbie chest located in this room

Room map of the Fools Guild.

Guild facilities

The Fools' Guild contains several facilities:

  • Pie throwing range
    • A game where you can compete with others or practice on your own to TM fighting.range.thrown skills.
      • A leaderboard showing the ten highest scores from player vs player matches can also be viewed here.
  • Chapel of Fun
    • Brother Whopply is able to marry couples here
  • Library
  • Hall of Faces
  • A small guild shop, selling balloons, juggling balls and fools' costumes

Maisey Bent

Maisey is a guild NPC who travels around the disc, she offers the following facilities:

Maisey's tour dates

As Maisey is a travelling NPC, the below are where she can be found and when (found on a poster in the guild's receptionist's office):

  • Monday - Ephebe, Southern Gardens (outdoors)
  • Tuesday - Djelibeybi, Ankh-Morpork Embassy
  • Wedesday - Bes Pelargic, Phoenix Park (shrine, indoors)
  • Thursday - Genua, Western Gate
  • Friday - Lancre
  • Saturday - Ohulan Cutash
  • Sunday - Sto Lat, Princess Island Park
  • Octeday - Ankh Morpork, Fools Guild


The following are the primary skills for this guild:


You can choose to study two of the following skills as part of your primaries:

Use the "specialisation" command to select a skill.


Guild Level Title
0 - 14 Village Idiot
15 - 29 Halfwit
30 - 49 Muggins
50 - 59 Dribbling Buffoon
60 - 74 Gull
75 - 89 Boorish Wag
90 - 104 Dupe
105 - 119 Flower Squirter
120 - 134 Butt
135 - 150 Droll Wag
151 - 164 Fool
165 - 179 Pie Thrower
180 - 194 Tomfool
195 - 209 Gagman
210 - 224 Stupid Fool
225 - 239 Prankster
240 - 254 Madcap Fool
255 - 269 Erratic Decorator
270 - 284 Arch Fool
285 - 299 Circus Clown
300 - 314 Complete Fool
315 - 329 Balloon Artist
330 - 344 Utter Fool
345 - 359 Proficient Punner
360 - ? Skilled Harlequinn

See also