Difference between revisions of "Enraged giant Hogswatch tree"

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(Presents: links)
(flail & mace)
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*A {{abbrl|big shiny sword|If someone were asked to draw the reified platonic essence of sword-ness, then once you'd explained all the long words you'd have a picture of this sword. It's four feet long, and even the smallest scrap of light glints along the blade like a very glinty thing. The cross-hilt and pommel are gleaming brass, and the hilt is wrapped in leather the cheerful yet somehow menacing red of the Hogfather's robe. It is very definitely not safe.}} (sword)
 
*A {{abbrl|big shiny sword|If someone were asked to draw the reified platonic essence of sword-ness, then once you'd explained all the long words you'd have a picture of this sword. It's four feet long, and even the smallest scrap of light glints along the blade like a very glinty thing. The cross-hilt and pommel are gleaming brass, and the hilt is wrapped in leather the cheerful yet somehow menacing red of the Hogfather's robe. It is very definitely not safe.}} (sword)
 
*A {{abbrl|very long sausage|This is an extremely long sausage.  It's probably longer than you are.  It's a sausage in the Zlobenian tradition, hard and solid, guaranteed to last almost as long as dwarf bread, and almost as good in a fight.  Unlike both dwarf bread and Morporkian sausage, it contains approximately 122% named meat by volume, as well as salt, pepper, and a selection of spices.}} (polearm)
 
*A {{abbrl|very long sausage|This is an extremely long sausage.  It's probably longer than you are.  It's a sausage in the Zlobenian tradition, hard and solid, guaranteed to last almost as long as dwarf bread, and almost as good in a fight.  Unlike both dwarf bread and Morporkian sausage, it contains approximately 122% named meat by volume, as well as salt, pepper, and a selection of spices.}} (polearm)
 +
*A {{abbrl|string of sausages|This looks at first glance like a string of piping-hot sausages, made in the traditional Morporkian style from collagen, stale bread, herbs (or at least plants), grease, miscellaneous pig parts, and plenty of sizzle.  Mostly sizzle.  On closer inspection, it's actually made from carved and painted hardwood fastened by iron links.  You could probably do some serious damage with this, even if you used it to hit people rather than trying to eat it.}} (flail)
 +
*A {{abbrl|glittering white wand|This slim glitter-dusted wand is tipped with a sparkly star and a red ribbon bow.}} (mace)
  
 
;Ornaments
 
;Ornaments

Revision as of 12:04, 12 December 2021

There is a giant Hogswatch tree in the centre of the Royal Market, Sto Lat.

As reported:

In their quest for civic festivities, the citizens of Sto Lat accidentally imported a sapient pine tree from the Forest of Skund. Don't worry! It will be completely safe unless anyone does anything stupid like poke it repeatedly.

When spawned, it looks like this:

Thirty feet tall and fifteen feet wide at its lowest branches, this imported Skund pine is perhaps the purest distilled expression of a municipal Hogswatch the Sto Plains have ever seen.  Decked with tinsel and magical lights and hams and packet upon packet of sausages, it's sure to bring a fond tear to the eye of anyone prone to recalling the Hogswatches of their youth through rosy hindsight.  At the base, a plaster diorama of the Hogfather, his sleigh, and his adorable pink pigs guards a huge pile of gaily coloured presents.

Safety

Be sure that neither you nor anyone else pokes it! That would be most unsafe.

Syntax : poke [the] [Hogswatch] tree with <weapon>  
You poke the giant Hogswatch tree.  The giant Hogswatch tree tries to ignore it.
You poke the giant Hogswatch tree.  The giant Hogswatch tree tries to ignore it.
You poke the giant Hogswatch tree.  The giant Hogswatch tree tries to ignore it.
You poke the giant Hogswatch tree.  The giant Hogswatch tree finally cracks and bellows in fury, uprooting itself from its pot and thrashing around in festive seasonal rage.
The enraged giant Hogswatch tree moves aggressively towards you!

Please note that when enraged, the Hogswatch tree can attack players in the room, it seems even those that poked it in the past and not just recently.

  • Idling in the centre of the Royal Market it not recommended unless you want to fight while idle!

There's some saplings that spawn when fighting, you can try to find in which room they are with l around (when the weather / light is good).

The enraged giant Hogswatch tree raises its branches to the sky in a silent call for aid.  The ground begins to rumble!
To the east, with a spray of dislodged cobblestones, an enraged Hogswatch sapling bursts out of the ground.
To the west, with a spray of dislodged cobblestones, an enraged Hogswatch sapling bursts out of the ground

Presents

The enraged Hogswatch tree has been defeated!
One of the huge presents that hung on the tree falls to the ground!  There's sure to be something nice in there for you.

Presents that have been uncovered:

Weapons
Ornaments
  • A  brightly painted wooden pine tree This delightfully traditional wooden Hogswatch ornament was quite possibly handmade by elves near Nothingfjord, and painted in bright cheerful colours according to the natural human impulse to do everything possible to keep the dark and chill of winter away. This particular ornament looks exactly like the gigantic Skund pine that ravaged Sto Lat. It would be perfect to put on the Hogswatch tree, if you happened to be the kind of person who relished both recursion and sadistic black humour. 
Costumes

Costumes don't fit humans or giant fruitbats.

You cannot put on the cute Hogfather costume as you are too big to wear something designed for pets.
  • A  pink Snouter costume This costume is designed so your pet can dress up as Snouter, one of the Hogfather's magical flying pigs who pull his sleigh. It's marvellously pink, and has cute floppy pig ears, and an adorable pink snout, and a delightful curly tail. 
  • A  cute Hogfather costume This costume is designed so your pet can dress up as the Hogfather, in a little red outfit with a broad black belt, a pointy floppy hat, and a long white beard. 
Wearable pets

Warning: existing pets might object to having or wearing a new pet. A scorpion wearable pet killed a confused squirrel when trying to wear it.

  • A  disgruntled owl This small brown owl had settled in for a peaceful session of contemplative thought after dinner - definitely not a snooze at all - when her tree was rudely uprooted and moved into a decidedly less salubrious neighbourhood. She's decided to make the best of a bad lot and ride around on someone's shoulder for a while. She's really a very lovely-looking owl, with soft brown feathers and huge yellow eyes. Oddly, the feathers on her head form a kind of pointy hat. 
  • A  confused squirrel This adorable red squirrel was enjoying a nap in the branches of his favourite tree, and then there was a lot of thrashing around and shouting, and then someone unwrapped the present he'd somehow got himself inside in his asleep. Now he's still confused, but pretty happy to sit on someone's shoulder and see the Disc. 
Furniture
  • A  castle with pointy bits This is a big castle with pointy bits, which is to say a scale model of King Hans-Ludwig-Pyotr the Utterly Mad's castle at Bad Schweinfleisch, complete with moat (filled with shiny blue foil), drawbridge, portcullis, model soldiers guarding the battlements, and tall turrets with blue pointy roofs, princesses, locking up, suitable for.  (weighs about 20 lb)
Scabbard
  • A  fantastical toymaker's cloak This flowing calf-length full circle cloak has been sewn from deep blue velvet and lined with golden taffeta, light enough to swirl and billow but thick enough to be toasty warm on a winter's day. The fabric has been embroidered all over with moons, stars, snowflakes, and dancing toys, from soldiers in their peaked caps to dashing mouseketeers, Klatchian dancers, Agatean mandarins, and gauzy-winged fairies.  (sheathes up to four tools or wands, weighs about a pound)