Eateries (Ankh Morpork)

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Ankh-Morpork

Actors' Guild bar

The Actors' Guild bar is located in the Actors' Guild, on the south edge of Thesbians' Yard. It sells beer, cider, and lemon drink.

There is a shoe-shine machine here.

All Bar None

All Bar None is located on the southeast corner of Pseudopolis Yard, on the Isle of Gods. Only cocktails are sold here.

There is no menu, but you can "request a suggestion" and then "order" something.

All Jolson's Restaurant

All Jolson's Restaurant is located on Turnwise Broadway, east of Peasant Parade. It sells food and alcoholic drinks.

The Apex Club bar

The Apex Club bar is located in the Apex Club on Esoteric Street. Only members may enter.

It sells food, gin, wine, and one cocktail, a Dew Drop.

There is a Frog bulletin board here.

Assassins' Guild mess hall

The Assassins' Guild mess hall is located at one of the entrances of the Guild of Assassins. It has two parts, the north and the south, and they sell different things. The north part sells a variety of food and alcohol, plus water, while the south part sells a couple of types of food and a few non-alcoholic drinks.

The Beggar's Boot Banquet

The Beggar's Boot Banquet is located on Sheer Street, west of Pon's Bridge.

The Bucket

The Bucket is located near the end of Gleam Street, east of Elm Street. It sells plain alcohol, and some things that could be either mixed drinks or spirits.

There's a garden out back with swings, a slide, and (in the easternmost room) a "drop four" board.

In a dark alcove here is Old Crumble, who will happily comment on various guilds, jobs, and other things, if you mention them to him (or even if you don't).

The Bunch of Grapes

The Bunch of Grapes is located on Easy Street, southeast of Elm Street. It sells plain alcohol.

Burgner's Coffee on the Maul

Burgner's Coffee on the Maul is located in the middle of the Maul, and is a stall. It sells coffee.

Celery Appleseed's Juice Bar

Celery Appleseed's Juice Bar is located on Attic Bee Street, west of its intersection with Short Street.

Celery sells various non-alcoholic drinks here, mostly fruit-based. You "order a drink", and then say the drink that you want. He'll give you a piece of paper, and when your drink's ready (this takes a little while), you'll need to give it back to him. (The room's help file explains this.)

Le Cochon

Le Cochon is located near the southwest end of Nonesuch Street, which runs along the south side of Hide Park. It sells food and various types of wine.

Costlee Coffee on Market Street

Costlee Coffee on Market Street is located on Market Street, southeast of the Hat temple. It sells coffee, tea, cocoa, and sugar cubes.

There are newspaper boxes for both the AM Daily and the Green Slab.

The Crimson Leech

The Crimson Leech is located on Easy Street, southeast of Elm Street. It sells plain alcohol.

The Curry Gardens

The Curry Gardens is located in the middle of God Street. It sells various food, and Ankh water.

The Emerald Necklace coaching inn

The Emerald Necklace coaching inn is located on Upper Broadway, by the Hubwards gate. It sells various food, cider, beer, and wine.

The Emporium Tea Shoppe

The Emporium Tea Shoppe is located in the Magic Emporium on the ground floor. It sells food, tea, coffee, lemonade, and sugar cubes.

Fat Sally's

Fat Sally's is located on the Isle of Gods, on Squeezebelly Alley. It sells coffee, hot chocolate, tea, and one alcoholic drink, Lancre Coffee.

The Fishermen's Guild regional office

The Fishermen's Guild regional office is located in the underdocks, on the south side of the river and just west of Ankh Bridge. It sells a few types of plain alcohol, and fish and chips.

The Flaming Cabbage

The Flaming Cabbage is located on Blood Alley, a bit west and southwest of the Drum. It has a beer garden and a wine lounge, and sells both plain alcohol and food.

There's also a room full of hashish smoke, which you can enter if you have a Flaming Cabbage brooch.

The beer garden has an AM Daily newspaper box.

Georgio's pizza place

Georgio's pizza place is located on the east end of Artorollo Alley, in the northeastern part of the city near Least Gate.

It's mainly a pizza place, but it also has a significant wine list.

Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen

Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen is located on Cable Street, near its intersection with Treacle Mine Road. It sells food, mainly rat-based, and acorn coffee.

The Golden Dragon

The Golden Dragon is located on Merchants Street, just east of Dragon's Landing. It sells food, water, and Klatchian coffee.

The Groaning Platter Tavern

The Groaning Platter Tavern is located on Flood Walk, a little before Brass Bridge. It sells food and ale.

The Happy Cabbage

The Happy Cabbage is located at the junction of Lobbin Clout and Whilom Alley, somewhat northeast of Hubwards Gate. It sells various cabbage-themed food.

The Hatchet and Entrail

The Hatchet and Entrail is at the west end of Elm Street.

If you're under a certain guild level or ageresearch, you'll be thrown out as soon as you go in--probably a good thing, because the fighters here will sometimes attack you for no reason (other than they felt like it).

It sells a couple of mixed drinks: Blood Brew (which is safe to drink) and Rocks On The Rocks (which isn't). Other than that, it sells plain alcohol.

Havlik's Dwarf Bar

Havlik's Dwarf Bar is located on the northwest side of the Plaza of Broken Moons. It sells dwarven ale and spirits.

The Iron Helmet

The Iron Helmet, a dwarf bar, is located on Welcome Soap a little ways west of the Drum.

It sells plain alcohol, various rat-based foods, and one mixed drink, the Copperhead Slammer.

The Kart Kill Kafe

The Kart Kill Kafe is located at the intersection of Dock Road and The Soake, just north of the river. It sells various meat dishes.

The King's Way Rathskeller

The King's Way Rathskeller is located near the middle of King's Way, which goes down the middle of the north half of the city. It's a converted former guard-tower, with the pub part upstairs.

It sells one mixed drink, Gin 'n Tonic, as well as plenty of plain alcohol, a few types of food, and milk.

The Klatchian take-away

The Klatchian take-away is located on Quirm Street, northeast of Five Ways. It sells food and Klatchian coffee.

A large tent

A large tent is located on the docks, south of the river and a bit east of Cockbill Street. It sells plain alcohol and a few non-alcoholic drinks.

The Laughing Falafel, Klatchian Takeaway

The Laughing Falafel, Klatchian Takeaway is located at the end of Dimwell Street, where it meets The Soake. It sells food and non-alcoholic drinks, as well as Ephebian retsina.

The Little Seriph's

The Little Seriph's is located on Short Street, somewhat near the south end. It sells pizza, banana delight, and Copra Cola.

A loud pub

A loud pub is located on the docks, south of the river and just east of Cockbill Street. It sells plain alcohol, and fish and chips.

The Lounge House Cafe

The Lounge House Cafe is accessible through the Order rooms in Unseen University. It sells food and non-alcoholic drinks.

There is a Frog bulletin board and an AM Daily box here.

A branch of McSweeney's Restaurant (Ankh-Morpork)

A branch of McSweeney's Restaurant is located in the middle of God Street. It sells food and non-alcoholic drinks.

The Mended Drum

The Mended Drum is located a little south of the centre of the city, and is its busiest and most well-known feature. Players choosing to start in Ankh-Morpork will have the bar as their starting location.

It sells plain alcohol, a few types of food, and milk.

There is a Frog bulletin board and a dart board here, and rooms to rent upstairs. You can also climb on the wall outside.

The Mouldy Cellar

The Mouldy Cellar is located on Chrononhotonthologos Street, near its north end.

It sells one mixed drink, Gin 'n Tonic, and a few types of plain alcohol.

It has the Ankh-Morpork Newbie Helpers Room in the backroom.

Mrs. Dimmles' Open-All-Hours Cafe

Mrs. Dimmles' Open-All-Hours Cafe is located on Dimwell Street near the southeast end, a ways southeast of Traitors Gate. It sells food, tea, and coffee.

The Pain in the Neck

The Pain in the Neck is located at the northeastern end of the Maul. It sells plain alcohol and a few types of food.

The newbie chest for the Ankh-Morpork Palace Guard, in the form of a beer barrel, is here.

The Rat-Hole

The Rat-Hole, a dwarf bar, is located on Hopesprings, west of Least Gate.

You'll have a hard time actually buying anything here, as Hlakket the Bartender is nearly always dead, but it sells beer, dwarf ale, and rat onna stick.

The Skunk Club bar

The Skunk Club is located on Brewer Street on the Isle of Gods. It has a bar in the north end.

It sells troll drinks and several cocktails along with plain alcohol, although if you try to buy a troll drink the trollish barman will ask you if you're sure.

Somethynge-or-Other Licenced Caffe

The Somethynge-or-Other Licenced Caffe is located directly northeast of Onion Gate. It sells deserts, ale, wine, and non-alcoholic drinks.

The Stab in the Back

The Stab in the Back is located on the northwest corner of Pseudopolis Yard. It sells plain alcohol, two types of water, and apple juice.

Starbanks

Starbanks is located on the east edge of the Isle of Gods. It sells coffee and two alcoholic drinks: Orakh and Lancre coffee.

There is a napkin and chocolate sprinkle dispenser here, and you can ask Jack Bank about any of the menu items.

The Stoat & Onion

The Stoat & Onion is located on Memorial Street near its intersection with the Street of Alchemists.

It sells plain alcohol and three types of mixed drinks: Banana daiquiri, Stoat Special, and Tequila Stuntman.

Stuck's Bar

Stuck's Bar is located on Speedwell Street, west of its junction with King's Way. It sells several coffee drinks, and all the offerings besides the Morka Deklatch and Morka Double Deklatch will make you knurd.

A stylish meeting room

A stylish meeting room is located in the Temple of Small Gods, and is only accessible to ministers.

The butler, once summoned, can provide you with free port, brandy or cigars.

The Temporary Sign

The Temporary Sign is located slightly south from the Alchemists' Guild on the Street of Alchemists. It sells beer, whiskey, and pork scratchings.

The Thieves' Guild refectory

The Thieves' Guild refectory is located in the thieves-only area of the Thieves' Guild. It sells several types of food, a few types of alcohol, and several types of non-alcoholic drinks.

The Traveller's Inn

The Traveller's Inn is located on Dimwell Street, very close to Traitors Gate. It sells plain alcohol--mostly a large number of whiskeys--along with a few soft drinks and some snacks.

There is a chessboard, a dart board, newspaper boxes for both the AM Daily and The Green Slab, and a top ten table.

There's an achievement, Achievement: Whiskey Connoisseur, for buying one of every whiskey here.

The Troll's Head bar

The Troll's Head bar is located in the Shades, on Romeo Street. It requires a password (written on a wall nearby) to get in, and anyone under a certain guild level will be attacked upon entering. It sells "drink" (ale).

There is a dart board here, and Jak the weapons fence is in the alcove south of the bar.

The Wall View tavern

The Wall View tavern is located on Long Wall, northeast of Hide Park. It sells food and ale.

The Warriors' Guild cafe

The Warriors' Guild cafe is located in the old Warrior's Guild on Heroes Street. It sells non-alcoholic drinks, cakes, and buns.

The Weapons Masters' Court's bar

The Weapons Masters' Court's bar is located in the entrance of the Weapon Masters' Court guild house on Vagabond Street. It sells a few types of plain alcohol.

You can hire mercenaries here.

Woonsocket's Delicatessen

Woonsocket's Delicatessen is located on Edgeway Road, southeast of Rimwards Gate. It sells sandwiches, made to order.

Wun Phul Mouth's Hunghungese Restaurant

Wun Phul Mouth's Hunghungese Restaurant is located in Little Agatea, just off of Whopping Street. It sells various Hunghungese meals.