Eateries (Ankh Morpork)
Contents
- 1 Actors' Guild bar
- 2 All Bar None
- 3 All Jolson's Restaurant
- 4 The Apex Club bar
- 5 Guild of Assassins mess hall
- 6 The Beggar's Boot Banquet
- 7 The Bucket
- 8 The Bunch of Grapes
- 9 Burgner's Coffee on the Maul
- 10 Celery Appleseed's Juice Bar
- 11 Le Cochon
- 12 Costlee Coffee on Market Street
- 13 The Crimson Leech
- 14 The Curry Gardens
- 15 Dark classy bar
- 16 A dining room
- 17 The Emerald Necklace coaching inn
- 18 The Emporium Tea Shoppe
- 19 The Felt Ham
- 20 The Fishermen's Guild regional office
- 21 The Flaming Cabbage
- 22 Georgio's pizza place
- 23 Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen
- 24 The Golden Dragon
- 25 The Groaning Platter Tavern
- 26 The Happy Cabbage
- 27 The Hatchet and Entrail
- 28 Havlik's Dwarf Bar
- 29 The Horse and Gate
- 30 The Iron Helmet
- 31 The Kart Kill Kafe
- 32 The King's Way Rathskeller
- 33 The Klatchian take-away
- 34 A large tent
- 35 The Laughing Falafel, Klatchian Takeaway
- 36 The Little Seriph's
- 37 A loud pub
- 38 The Lounge House Cafe
- 39 A branch of McSweeney's Restaurant (Ankh-Morpork)
- 40 The Mended Drum
- 41 The Mouldy Cellar
- 42 Mrs. Dimmles' Open-All-Hours Cafe
- 43 The Pain in the Neck
- 44 The Pavilion Tearoom
- 45 A posh outdoor bar
- 46 The Rat-Hole
- 47 The Royal Art Museum cafe
- 48 The Skunk Club bar
- 49 Somethynge-or-Other Licenced Caffe
- 50 The Stab in the Back
- 51 Starbanks
- 52 The Stoat & Onion
- 53 Stuck's Bar
- 54 A stylish meeting room
- 55 The Temporary Sign
- 56 The Thieves' Guild refectory
- 57 The Traveller's Inn
- 58 The Troll's Head bar
- 59 The Wall View tavern
- 60 The Warriors' Guild cafe
- 61 The Weapons Masters' Court's bar
- 62 Woonsocket's Delicatessen
- 63 Wun Phul Mouth's Hunghungese Restaurant
Actors' Guild bar
The Actors' Guild bar is located in the Actors' Guild, on the south edge of Thespians' Yard.
Drink | Price in Ankh-morporkain pence |
---|---|
Lager shandy | 30p |
Apple cider | 85p |
Lemon drink | 30p |
There is a shoe-shine machine here. For Two Ankh-morporkian dollars, you can use it.
Example
> Use machine to shine my shoes
Using the shoe-shine machine will give you an achievement[1] and a special condition
All Bar None
All Bar None is located on the southeast corner of Pseudopolis Yard, on the Isle of Gods. Only cocktails are sold here.
There is no menu, but you can "request a suggestion" and then "order" something.
All Jolson's Restaurant
All Jolson's Restaurant is located on Turnwise Broadway, east of Peasant Parade. It is an upscale gourmet Resturant selling the finest of meals. The atmosphere is light and jovial. The menu is split into three categories, Main Courses, Deserts and Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Vegetable stew with dumplings | 3.50$ | Main Courses |
Bangers and mash | 4$ | Main Courses |
Lamb medallions with gorgonzola sauce | 5.75$ | Main Courses |
Smitten Steak and Slumpie | 6$ | Main Courses |
Wild boar and roast potatoes | 6$ | Main Courses |
Black Death Meringue | 2.50$ | Deserts |
Honey Ice cream | 3$ | Deserts |
Tanker of classic mead | 1.49$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Pint of Fine ale | 1.99$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Pint of Winkle's Old Peculiar | 2.49$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Pint of Smithwick's | 2.49$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of Riesling from Uberwald | 4.49$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
glass of Borogravian Sauternes | 5.99$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
There is also a Refrigerated Safe here. It is crackable by thieves.
The Apex Club bar
The Apex Club bar is located in the Apex Club on Esoteric Street. Only members may enter.
It sells food, gin, wine, and one cocktail, a Dew Drop.
There is a Frog bulletin board here.
Guild of Assassins mess hall
The Guild of Assassins mess hall is located at the southeast end of the Guild of Assassins courtyard. It is split into two parts.
North Side
This is the more stylish side of the mess hall and is intended for Graduate Students and Teachers. The menu is split into five categories, Appetizers, Main Courses, Deserts, Alcoholic Beverages and Soft Drinks.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Bagel | 1$ | Appetizers |
Bread roll | 1$ | Appetizers |
Croissant | 1.50$ | Appetizers |
Serving of garlic mashed potatoes | 3$ | Main Courses |
Ham and cheese roll | 4$ | Main Courses |
Serving of buttered baby carrots | 4$ | Main Courses |
Serving of sauteed mushrooms | 4$ | Main Courses |
Portion of bangers and mash | 5$ | Main Courses |
Plate of roast pork with vegetables | 5$ | Main Courses |
Portion of lamb medallions with gorgonzola sauce | 5.50$ | Main Courses |
Lemon parfait | 3$ | Deserts |
Serving of raspberries and cream | 3$ | Deserts |
Petit fours | 3$ | Deserts |
Serving of strawberries and cream | 3$ | Deserts |
Coffee eclair | 3$ | Deserts |
Pint of ale | 2$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of white wine | 3$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of brandy | 3$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of red wine | 3.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of water | 50p | Soft Drinks |
South Side
This is the side intended for student assassins. It is rather plain and the food choices are even plainer. The menu is split into three categories, Main Corses, Desert and Soft Drinks.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
some slices of roast beef | 3$ | Main Courses |
waffle | 1$ | Deserts |
Glass of Water | 50p | Soft Drinks |
Glass of warm milk | 75p | Soft Drinks |
glass of apple juice | 1$ | Soft Drinks |
The Beggar's Boot Banquet
The Beggar's Boot Banquet is located on Sheer Street, west of Pon's Bridge. It is a cafe that was created by Beggars and caters to Beggars. It is made out of cardboard and other useless material. The Menu is made up of three categories of disgusting items that only the most dedicated foodies would try. If a player is hardened enough to try all the food items, they get an achievement[2]
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Boot Lace | 49p | Appetizers |
Old Boot | 1.49$ | Main Courses |
Sole de Boot | 1.99$ | Main Courses |
Heel Pie | 2.49$ | Main Courses |
Boot avec Mud | 2.49$ | Main Courses |
Boot avec Substance ne pas Identifiable Stuck au Bottom | 2.99$ | Main Courses |
Slime Pour la Folle | 49p | Soft Drinks |
Slime de la Gutter | 49p | Soft Drinks |
Slime de le Shoe de Femme | 1.49$ | Soft Drinks |
Slime Pour le Connoisseur | 1.49$ | Soft Drinks |
The Bucket
The Bucket is located near the end of Gleam Street, east of Elm Street. It is the favoured pub of watchmen and while a little upscale its clientele are not. Food is not served here and the menu only has one category, Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Whiskey | 50p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ankh Ale | 50p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Brain Twister | 2.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Carrot Juice | 2.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Asparagus Souper | 2.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Dew Drop | 3$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Frog Wash | 3$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Eye Opener | 3$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Grand Finale | 5$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
There's a garden out back with swings, a slide, and (in the easternmost room) a "drop four" board.
In a dark alcove north of the bar is Old Crumble, who will happily comment on various guilds, jobs, and other things, if you mention them to him (or even if you don't).
The Bunch of Grapes
The Bunch of Grapes is located on Easy Street, southeast of Elm Street. It is a quiet little pub where patrons go to drink their problems away. The owner of the pub has delusions of grandeur and overall the pub has a dreary atmosphere. Food is not served here and there is only one category on the menu, Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Morporkian beer | 90p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Easy Street ale | 1$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Bearhugger's whiskey | 2.25$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ankhian extra-strong vodka | 3$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Scumble | 3.75$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Burgner's Coffee on the Maul
Burgner's Coffee on the Maul is located in the middle of the Maul, and is a stall. It sells coffee.
Celery Appleseed's Juice Bar
Celery Appleseed's Juice Bar is located on Attic Bee Street, west of its intersection with Short Street. There is an emphasis on natural and this is the only organic non-alcoholic bar in the entirety of Ankh-Morkpork. The atmosphere is light. Food is not served here and the menu is split into eight categories, Nectars, Milkshakes, Teas, Blends, Waters, Lemonades, Milks and Juices.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Glass of peach nectar | 2.50 | Nectars |
Large glass of chocolate milkshake | 3.75$ | Milkshakes |
Large glass of cabbage milkshake | 3.75$ | Milkshakes |
Large glass of strawberry milkshake | 3.75$ | Milkshakes |
Large glass of banana milkshake | 3.75$ | Milkshakes |
Glass of iced tea | 3$ | Teas |
Glass of strawberry kiki fruit blend | 2.52$ | Blends |
Large bottle of fresh Lancrastian water | 6$ | Waters |
Small bottle of imported water | 6.25$ | Waters |
Pitcher of lemonade | 5$ | Lemonades |
Glass of goat's milk | 2.47$ | Milks |
Glass of cow's milk | 2.51$ | Milks |
Glass of apple juice | 1.50$ | Juices |
Glass of cranberry juice | 1.50$ | Juices |
Glass of grabe juice | 1.25$ | Juices |
Large glass of tomato juice | 5$ | Juices |
Glass of orange juice | 2.50$ | Juices |
Glass of guava and passion fruit juice | 5$ | Juices |
This bar functions differently from other bars. You "order a drink", and then say the drink that you want. He'll give you a piece of paper, and when your drink's ready (this takes a little while), you'll need to give it back to him.
Example
> order drink You ask Celery Appleseed about ordering a drink. Celery Appleseed asks: What can I get for you, madam? > say a glass of guava and passion fruit juice You say: a glass of guava and passion fruit juice Celery Appleseed says: Sure, I'd be glad to make you a guava and passion fruit juice. You pay Celery Appleseed A$5. Celery Appleseed gives a piece of writing paper to you. Celery Appleseed exclaims loudly: Number two hundred and seventy-nine! Your guava and passion fruit juice is ready! > give paper to celery You give a piece of writing paper to Celery Appleseed. Celery Appleseed places a glass on the counter. > get glass from counter You get a glass from the large wooden counter.
Le Cochon
Le Cochon is located near the southwest end of Nonesuch Street, which runs along the south side of Hide Park. It is lavish restaurant decorated with warm colors and fine taste. The atmosphere is romantic and the menu is split into two categories, Main Courses, and Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Une douzaine d'escargots | 3.45$ | Main Courses |
Une demie douzaine d'escargots | 2.01$ | Main Courses |
Fruits de mer | 3.45$ | Main Courses |
Tete de sanglier gratinee au four avec du fromage de Quirm | 5.75$ | Main Courses |
Fete du Magicien | 13.80$ | Main Courses |
Croque Morporkien | 2.30$ | Main Courses |
Pate d'ecrevisses avec du pain | 2.30$ | Main Courses |
Entrecote d'elan avec une sauce de demon penible | 4.60$ | Main Courses |
Cuisses de grenouille | 4.60$ | Main Courses |
Rouge de la Maison | 1.15$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Le Vieu Renard | 4.60$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Le Bonheur Bouteille | 3.45$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Chateau de Pomperiposse | 5.75$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
La Veuve Ogg | 57p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Blanc de la Maison | 1.15$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Presque-Chateau de Uberwald | 3.45$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Chateau de la Poisson Rose | 6.90$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Costlee Coffee on Market Street
Costlee Coffee on Market Street is located on Market Street, southeast of the Hat temple. This is a simple little cafe that while having a stripped down look is a pleasant dining experience. The coffee machine is facinating to watch and the atmosphere is earthy. No food is served here and the menu is split into two categories, Hot Drinks, and Sundries.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Quirmian Espresso | 75p | Hot Drinks |
Cocoa | 87p | Hot Drinks |
Hot Chocolate | 87p | Hot Drinks |
Tea | 1$ | Hot Drinks |
Sweet Tea | 1$ | Hot Drinks |
White Coffee | 1.25$ | Hot Drinks |
Black Coffee | 1.25$ | Hot Drinks |
Cappuccino | 1.50$ | Hot Drinks |
Lancre Coffee | 1.62$ | Hot Drinks |
Klatchian Coffee | 2$ | Hot Drinks |
sugar cubes | 10p | Sundries |
There are newspaper boxes for both the AM Daily and the Green Slab.
The Crimson Leech
The Crimson Leech is located on Easy Street, southeast of Elm Street. It is a rowdy crowded tavern filled to the brim with smoke and drunks. The tavern features a large bar and the atmosphere is a smokey rush. Food is not served here and the menu has one category, Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Ale | 75p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Cider | 1$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Dark rum | 1.75$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
White rum | 2$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Whiskey | 2.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
The Curry Gardens
The Curry Gardens is located in the middle of God Street. This is a pleasant Klatchian style restaurant that prioritizes curry. The restaurant is stocked with curry plants so you know that the food is home-grown and the atmosphere is naturally spicy. there are no categories in the menu because of the way a player orders food but there seems to be two categories, Currys, Soft Drinks, and Appetizers.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Porn Cracker | 4p | Appetizers |
Rice | 4p | Appetizers |
Curried Balls of Meet | 8p | Appetizers |
Donnah Kebab | 6p | Appetizers |
Extra Curry | 5p | Currys |
Curried Rise | 7p | Currys |
Curry with Herbs | 7p | Currys |
Curry with Vegetables | 8p | Currys |
Curry with Curried Swede | 9p | Currys |
Curry with Meat | 10p | Currys |
Water | 9p | Soft Drinks |
This Restaurant functions differently from other Restaurants. First, you must "Summon the Waiter" which will call a waiter to you. Second, you can "ask for a menu" which will prompt the waiter to list the menu. Third, you must "order a food item from the waiter to take away, eat here, or eat in an alcove". If you eat in an alcove you will be transported to an alcove where you can eat in relative privacy. If you want to order again in an alcove you must say "eat here" when ordering food. If you take away then the waiter will give you your order in a paper bag. If you eat here you will be handed food.
Example
> Summon Waiter You call out for the waiter. Manuel Fawlty runs into the room. > say Can I have a menu? Manuel Fawlty exclaims: You wanting to hear the food we can serve you? We can make you Porn cracker, Rice, Naan Yogg Bred, Extra Curry, Curried Balls of Meet, a Donnah Kebab, Pittar Bred, Curry with Curry, Curried Rise, Curry with Herbs, Curry with Vegetables, Curry with Curried Swede, Curry with Meat, Curry with Sweat, and Sore Balls of Pig, Curry with Named Meat and Wartar. You like? Please order! > order Extra Curry from Fawlty to eat here You pay the waiter. Manuel Fawlty runs out to the kitchen. He emerges carrying an order of extra curry. Manuel Fawlty gives a helping of curry to you. Manuel Fawlty exclaims: Engloy your meal! You order Extra Curry from Manuel Fawlty to eat here.
NOTE There are three items missing from the table above. This is due to the fact that you cannot order the item's based on the waiter's spelling of them.
These Items are:
- Pittar Bred
- Naan Yogg Bred
- Curry with Sweat
- Sore Balls of Pig
- Curry with Named Meat
If you know how to order these Items please either tell someone or edit the wiki yourself. Thanks
Dark classy bar
The Dark classy bar is a hidden bar located on the west side of the Cattle District in Ankh-Morpork. The dark classy bar gets its name from the classiness of the establishment since the bar doesn't have a name and its customers are primarily vampires. The atmosphere is, of course, dark and classy. Food is not served here and most of the drinks are for the benefit of vampires (though non-vampires can drink blood) and as the such, the menu is split into four categories, Human (Wine Glass), Humanoid (Wine Glass), Rarities (shot), Non Blood.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Nobby Blood | 7.50$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Warrior Blood | 10$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Priest Blood | 12.50$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Thief Blood | 12.50$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Wizard Blood | 12.50$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Witch Blood | 15$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Assassin Blood | 18.75$ | Human (Wine Glass) |
Dwarf Blood | A$12.50 | Humanoid (Wine Glass) |
Troll Blood | A$12.50 | Humanoid (Wine Glass) |
Royal Blood | A$100 | Rarities (shot) |
Coffee | 1$ | Non Blood |
Milk | 1$ | Non Blood |
Earl Black Tea | 1.50$ | Non Blood |
Mineral Water | 1.50$ | Non Blood |
There is also a tray full of free peppermints. An Igor in a side room receives blood donations.
SPOILERS: How to get to Dark Classy Bar
At the intersection of Abattoirs Lane and Long Hogmeat travel east. You will find yourself inside an abandoned slaughter house with crates. Look at the crates to discover a dark recess. Look in the dark recess to discover a lever which you pull. This will open a secret passage into Dark Classy Bar.
A dining room
This dining room is located on the ground floor of Lavender House, on Grunefair just east of its intersection with Dimwell Street. While the building is mostly full of player housing, the dining room is open to the general public. It serves main courses, desserts, and alcohol.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
plate of vegetable stew | A$6.25 | Main Courses |
plate of roast pork with vegetables | A$7.50 | Main Courses |
plate of smitten steak and slumpie | A$7.50 | Main Courses |
rice pudding | A$3 | Desserts |
coffee creme brulee | A$3 | Desserts |
lemon parfait | A$3 | Desserts |
pint of fine ale | A$1 | Alcoholic Beverages |
glass of red wine | A$2.50 | Alcoholic Beverages |
glass of white wine | A$2.50 | Alcoholic Beverages |
The Emerald Necklace coaching inn
The Emerald Necklace coaching inn is located on Upper Broadway, by the Hubwards gate. This establishment was once fairly popular but has been hit by hard times. It is quiet in here as there are not many customers. The atmosphere is fading eclectic glory and the food is bland. The menu is split into two sections, Main Courses, and Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Chips | 1.25$ | Main Courses |
Bangers and mash | 2.50$ | Main Courses |
Vegetable stew | 2.50$ | Main Courses |
Fish and chips | 2.50$ | Main Courses |
Pint of cider | 50p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Pint of Morporkian beer | 50p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Pint of fine ale | 75p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of red wine | 1.25$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Glass of white wine | 1.25$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
The Emporium Tea Shoppe
The Emporium Tea Shoppe is located in the Magic Emporium on the ground floor. The Tea Shoppe is a simple pleasant affair. It primarily serves shoppers who need a break from browsing wares. The atmosphere is simply convenient and the menu is split into four categories, Appetizers, Soft Drinks, Hot drinks, and Sundries.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Sticky bun | 10p | Appetizers |
Genuan croissant | 25p | Appetizers |
Jam scone | 25p | Appetizers |
Hublandish pastry | 30p | Appetizers |
Fresh fruit tart | 45p | Appetizers |
Slice of fruit cake | 50p | Appetizers |
Chocolate eclair | 70p | Appetizers |
Lemonade | 8p | Soft Drinks |
Tea | 10p | Hot Drinks |
Coffee | 15p | Hot Drinks |
sugar cubes | 10p | Sundries |
Fat Sally's is located on the Isle of Gods, on Squeezebelly Alley. This is a bustling coffee shop named after its owner's amply sized aunt, Fat Sally. The cafe, operated by Fat Sandra, is pleasant and inviting to everyone. The atmosphere is chaotically homely. Food is not served here and the menu is split into two categories, Alcoholic Beverages, and Hot Drinks.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Lancre Coffee | 1.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Quirmian Espresso | 50p | Hot Drinks |
Hot Chocolate | 87p | Hot Drinks |
Acorn Coffee | 1.50$ | Hot Drinks |
Earl Black Tea | 1.50$ | Hot Drinks |
Cappuccino | 1.50$ | Hot Drinks |
Iced Tea | 1.50$ | Hot Drinks |
Klatchian Coffee | 2$ | Hot Drinks |
The Felt Ham
Also known as the Moon on the Square. It is located on Morpork Street. This dusty establishment has several booths for privacy and a comfy chair that is guarded by a Warning Tick. There is also an extremely dirty bathroom on the second floor. The atmosphere is grimly barren and the Menu is split into three categories, Appetisers, Main Courses, Alcoholic Beverages, and Soft Drinks.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Packet of crisps | 20p | Appetisers |
Bag of boar scratchings | 25p | Appetisers |
Meat pie | 62p | Appetisers |
Missy Huggins Imported Meat Pie | 10$ | Main Courses |
Morporkian Beer | 10p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ankh Water | 50p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Bearhugger's whiskey | 75p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Peach Corniche | 1$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Fine Ale | 1.75$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Brandy | 2.25$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Amanita Liquor | 3.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ghlen Livid | 4$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ancient Scumble | 5$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ankhian Port | 12.50$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Back Burner | 30$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Soggy Mountain Dew | 25p | Soft Drinks |
Glass of milk | 50p | Soft Drinks |
Upstairs in the bathroom is a wall with graffiti and there is also a Vending Machine.
The Fishermen's Guild regional office
The Fishermen's Guild regional office is located in the underdocks, on the south side of the river and just west of Ankh Bridge. This pub was more of an afterthought than anything. The primary patrons of the establishment are fishermen after a hard day at work. The atmosphere is rudimentarily fishy and the menu is split into two categories, Main Courses, and Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Fish and Chips | 1.62$ | Main Courses |
Morporkian Beer | 7p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ale | 75p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ankh Whiskey | 75p | Alcoholic Beverages |
The Flaming Cabbage
The Flaming Cabbage is located on Blood Alley, a bit west and southwest of the Drum. It is, as its namesake would suggest, rather smokey. The atmosphere is stilted snobbiness mixed with a drunken stupor. There are two separate dining experiences.
The Beer Bar
The more relaxed of the two areas. Here you will find people merrily drinking themselves into a stupor. The Menu has three categories, Appetizers, Main Courses and Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Spicy sausage | 99p | Appertizers |
Hot chicken sandwich | 1.99$ | Main Courses |
Ham'n'cheese sandwich | $1.99$ | Main Courses |
Salad | 1.99$ | Main Courses |
Fish'n'chips | 2.99$ | Main Courses |
Ribs | 3.29$ | Main Courses |
Troll Beer | 4.29$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
CMOTD's Finest Brew | 4.29$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Unnameable liquid | 4.29$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ankh-Morrporke Ale | 4.59$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Schlorg Beer | 4.59$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
The Wine Lounge
The snobby side of the Flaming Cabbage, the patrons here are far more concerned with impressing each other than having a good time. The Menu has two categories, Appetizers and Alcoholic Beverages.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
A pear | 1.49$ | Appetizers |
Uberwaldian Elbling | 99p | Alcoholic Beverages |
Ephebian Retsina | 1.99$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Lancrastian Gold | 2.99$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Quirm Red, this year's | 3.24$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Pseudopolitan Ersatz | 3.49$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Kythian Sherry Wine | 3.99$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Quirm Red, last year's | 4.24$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Riesling from Uberwald | 4.49$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Borogravian Sauternes | 5.99$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
There's also a room north of the Wine Lounge full of hashish smoke, which you can enter if you have a Flaming Cabbage brooch.
The beer garden has an AM Daily newspaper box.
Georgio's pizza place
Georgio's pizza place is located on the east end of Artorollo Alley, in the northeastern part of the city near Least Gate. The atmosphere is an exquisite sense modern comfort coupled with a saucy aroma. The Menu has four categories, Appetisers, Pizzas, Desserts, Wine List and Soft Drinks.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
A pear | 1.49$ | Appetisers |
A slice of quattro rodenti pizza | 50p | Pizzas |
A slice of garlic pizza | 62p | Pizzas |
A slice of four strata pizza | 1$ | Pizzas |
A slice of magrata pizza | 1$ | Pizzas |
A slice of mushroom pizza | 1$ | Pizzas |
A slice of brown islands pizza | 1$ | Pizzas |
A slice of klatchian hots pizza | 1$ | Pizzas |
A piece of baked banana delight | 52p | Desserts |
Uberwaldian Elbling | 99p | Wine List |
Ephebian Retsina | 1.99$ | Wine List |
Lancrastian Gold | 2.99$ | Wine List |
Quirm Red, this year's | 3.24$ | Wine List |
Pseudopolitan Ersatz | 3.49$ | Wine List |
Kythian Sherry Wine | 3.99$ | Wine List |
Quirm Red, last year's | 4.24$ | Wine List |
Riesling from Uberwald | 4.49$ | Wine List |
Borogravian Sauternes | 5.99$ | Wine List |
A bottle of Copra-Cola | 50p | Soft Drinks |
You can also order a specialty pizza for 10$. You can choose your own sauce, toppings, and cheese. The syntax is as follows "order special pizza with <type> sauce and <topping> covered in <type> cheese."
Note: You must manually pay for a specialty order pizza.
Example
> Order Special Pizza with cream sauce and Bandana monkey bread covered in girly cheese. Georgio bustles off into the kitchen. A loud clanging and banging accompanied by raised voices and raucous singing echo from the kitchen. Georgio struts back in carrying a masterpiece of a pizza covered in Bandana monkey bread, it's steaming hot. Georgio hands you a steaming hot pizza made to your exacting specifications. > pay for pizza. You give some money to Georgio. Georgio thanks you.
Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen
Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen is located on Cable Street, near its intersection with Treacle Mine Road. A famous quick-bite establishment for drunks looking for cheap food. It used to cater to dwarves but the menu has since expanded. The atmosphere is rushed but open. There are two menus here but one is in dwarvish. The non-dwarvish menu is split into five categories, Appetizers, Main Courses, Desserts, Alcoholic Beverages and Hot Coffee.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Cheese and chutney pebble | 5p | Appetisers |
Ketchup | 5p | Appetisers |
Rat onna stick | 35p | Appetisers |
Dwarf bread | 2.95$ | Appetisers |
Rat | 4p | Main Courses |
Soy rat | 5p | Main Courses |
Boiled egg | 7p | Main Courses |
Rat and ketchup | 7p | Main Courses |
Rat and beans | 8p | Main Courses |
Cream cheese rat | 9p | Main Courses |
Soss rat 'n' fried slice | 10p | Main Courses |
Soss egg rat 'n' beans | 13p | Main Courses |
Vole-au-vent | 17p | Main Courses |
Cream of rat | 32p | Main Courses |
Rat surprise | 37p | Main Courses |
Rat pasty | 50p | Main Courses |
Chicken tikka chalk | 87p | Main Courses |
Quartz and granite kebab | 1$ | Main Courses |
Ratatouille | 1.50$ | Main Courses |
Deep fried sandstone | 1.70$ | Main Courses |
Quattro rodenti pizza | 2.25$ | Main Courses |
Sticky toffee rat onna stick | 37p | Desserts |
Dwarf muffin | 2.45$ | Desserts |
Dwarf ale | 1$ | Alcoholic Beverages |
Acorn coffee | 20p | Hot Drinks |
The Golden Dragon
The Golden Dragon is located on Merchants Street, just east of Dragon's Landing. It sells food, water, and Klatchian coffee.
The Groaning Platter Tavern
The Groaning Platter Tavern is located on Flood Walk, a little before Brass Bridge. It sells food and ale.
The Happy Cabbage
The Happy Cabbage is located at the junction of Lobbin Clout and Whilom Alley, somewhat northeast of Hubwards Gate. It sells various cabbage-themed food.
The Hatchet and Entrail
The Hatchet and Entrail is at the west end of Elm Street.
If you're under a certain guild level or age research If this has been marked on a page, it's because there was something that probably isn't known, that the person who edited the page thinks could be found out. Perhaps you could figure this thing out, and be famous evermore. , you'll be thrown out as soon as you go in--probably a good thing, because the fighters here will sometimes attack you for no reason (other than they felt like it).
It sells a couple of mixed drinks: Blood Brew (which is safe to drink) and Rocks On The Rocks (which isn't). Other than that, it sells plain alcohol.
Havlik's Dwarf Bar
Havlik's Dwarf Bar is located on the northwest side of the Plaza of Broken Moons. It sells dwarven ale and spirits.
The Horse and Gate
The Horse and Gate is located on The Ridings, east of its junction with Kings Way.
They offer appetisers and main dishes as well as different beers.
The Iron Helmet
The Iron Helmet, a dwarf bar, is located on Welcome Soap a little ways west of the Drum.
It sells plain alcohol, various rat-based foods, and one mixed drink, the Copperhead Slammer.
The Kart Kill Kafe
The Kart Kill Kafe is located at the intersection of Dock Road and The Soake, just north of the river. It sells various meat dishes.
The King's Way Rathskeller
The King's Way Rathskeller is located near the middle of King's Way, which goes down the middle of the north half of the city. It's a converted former guard-tower, with the pub part upstairs.
It sells one mixed drink, Gin 'n Tonic, as well as plenty of plain alcohol, a few types of food, and milk.
The Klatchian take-away
The Klatchian take-away is located on Quirm Street, northeast of Five Ways. This is a busy klatchian joint for drunkards who came to the wrong place for a meal. The smell is as spicy as the food and the food is very spicy. The atmosphere is hot and heavy. The menu has all the usual Klatchian delights and is split into 2 categories, Main Courses, and Hot Drinks.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
A slice of Klatchian Flat | 37p | Main Courses |
A helping of Klatchian rice | 37p | Main Courses |
A helping of Klatchian Delight | 50p | Main Courses |
A helping of Klatchian Surprise | 50p | Main Courses |
An Al Khali duck | 62p | Main Courses |
A helping of Klatchian Curry | 62p | Main Courses |
A helping of Fair and Foul chicken | 75p | Main Courses |
Klatchian tribal feast | 1$ | Main Courses |
shot of Klatchian coffee | 62p | Hot Drinks |
A large tent
A large tent is located on the docks, south of the river and a bit east of Cockbill Street. It sells plain alcohol and a few non-alcoholic drinks.
The Laughing Falafel, Klatchian Takeaway
The Laughing Falafel, Klatchian Takeaway is located at the end of Dimwell Street, where it meets The Soake. It sells food and non-alcoholic drinks, as well as Ephebian retsina.
The Little Seriph's
The Little Seriph's is located on Short Street, somewhat near the south end. It sells pizza, banana delight, and Copra Cola.
A loud pub
A loud pub is located on the docks, south of the river and just east of Cockbill Street. It sells plain alcohol, and fish and chips.
The Lounge House Cafe
The Lounge House Cafe is accessible through the Order rooms in Unseen University. It sells food and non-alcoholic drinks.
There is a Frog bulletin board and an AM Daily box here.
A branch of McSweeney's Restaurant (Ankh-Morpork)
A branch of McSweeney's Restaurant is located in the middle of God Street. It sells food and non-alcoholic drinks.
The Mended Drum
The Mended Drum is located a little south of the centre of the city, and is its busiest and most well-known feature. Players choosing to start in Ankh-Morpork will have the bar as their starting location.
It sells plain alcohol, a few types of food, and milk.
There is a Frog bulletin board and a dart board here. You can also climb on the wall outside.
The Mouldy Cellar
The Mouldy Cellar is located on Chrononhotonthologos Street, near its north end.
It sells one mixed drink, Gin 'n Tonic, and a few types of plain alcohol.
It has the Ankh-Morpork Newbie Helpers Room in the backroom.
Mrs. Dimmles' Open-All-Hours Cafe
Mrs. Dimmles' Open-All-Hours Cafe is located on Dimwell Street near the southeast end, a ways southeast of Traitors Gate. It sells food, tea, and coffee.
The Pain in the Neck
The Pain in the Neck is located at the northeastern end of the Maul. It sells plain alcohol and a few types of food.
The newbie chest for the Ankh-Morpork Palace Guard, in the form of a beer barrel, is here.
The Pavilion Tearoom
The Pavilion Tearoom is located on the third floor of Milords & Miladies near Least Gate. It sells full meals, each of which includes some alcohol, some food, and some tea.
A posh outdoor bar
A posh outdoor bar is hidden in Unseen University, accessible through the The Lounge House Cafe. It requires a skillcheck to get into it, and acquiring the various (free) alcohols that it stocks requires another skillcheck.
The Rat-Hole
The Rat-Hole, a dwarf bar, is located on Hopesprings, west of Least Gate.
You'll have a hard time actually buying anything here, as Hlakket the Bartender is nearly always dead, but it sells beer, dwarf ale, and rat onna stick.
The Royal Art Museum cafe
The Royal Art Museum cafe is located inside the Royal Art Museum and allows clientele to view gastronomically relevant paintings.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
Soup of Discontent | $1.30 | Main Courses |
Gold of the Plains | $1.50 | Main Courses |
Roll of Mediocrity | $1.50 | Main Courses |
Nobody Likes Me | $2 | Main Courses |
False Cheer | $1.10 | Desserts |
Flesh and Blood | $1.25 | Desserts |
Exquisite Coffin | $1.50 | Desserts |
Liquid Sunshine | $1 | Soft Drinks |
Cool But Not Frozen | $1 | Soft Drinks |
Mmmm Frothy | $1 | Hot Drinks |
The Skunk Club bar
The Skunk Club is located on Brewer Street on the Isle of Gods. It has a bar in the north end.
It sells troll drinks and several cocktails along with plain alcohol, although if you try to buy a troll drink the trollish barman will ask you if you're sure.
Food/Drink | Price in Ankh-morkporkian dollars | Category |
---|---|---|
beer | $2 | Human Drinks |
cider | $2 | Human Drinks |
whiskey | $4 | Human Drinks |
scumble | $4 | Human Drinks |
vodka | $4 | Human Drinks |
troll beer | $2 | Troll Drinks |
sulphur | $4 | Troll Drinks |
mercury | $5 | Troll Drinks |
Grand Passion | $10 | Cocktails |
Silver Stallion | $10 | Cocktails |
Applejack | $10 | Cocktails |
Jaded Lady | $10 | Cocktails |
Pink Lady Fizz | $10 | Cocktails |
Fallen Angel | $10 | Cocktails |
Somethynge-or-Other Licenced Caffe
The Somethynge-or-Other Licenced Caffe is located directly northeast of Onion Gate. It sells deserts, ale, wine, and non-alcoholic drinks.
The Stab in the Back
The Stab in the Back is located on the northwest corner of Pseudopolis Yard. It sells plain alcohol, two types of water, and apple juice.
Starbanks
Starbanks is located on the east edge of the Isle of Gods. It sells coffee and two alcoholic drinks: Orakh and Lancre coffee.
There is a napkin and chocolate sprinkle dispenser here, and you can ask Jack Bank about any of the menu items.
The Stoat & Onion
The Stoat & Onion is located on Memorial Street near its intersection with the Street of Alchemists.
It sells plain alcohol and three types of mixed drinks: Banana daiquiri, Stoat Special, and Tequila Stuntman.
Stuck's Bar
Stuck's Bar is located on Speedwell Street, west of its junction with King's Way. It sells several coffee drinks, and all the offerings besides the Morka Deklatch and Morka Double Deklatch will make you knurd.
A stylish meeting room
A stylish meeting room is located in the Temple of Small Gods, and is only accessible to ministers.
The butler, once summoned, can provide you with free port, brandy or cigars.
The Temporary Sign
The Temporary Sign is located slightly south from the Alchemists' Guild on the Street of Alchemists. It sells beer, whiskey, and pork scratchings.
The Thieves' Guild refectory
The Thieves' Guild refectory is located in the thieves-only area of the Thieves' Guild. It sells several types of food, a few types of alcohol, and several types of non-alcoholic drinks.
The Traveller's Inn
The Traveller's Inn is located on Dimwell Street, very close to Traitors Gate. It sells plain alcohol--mostly a large number of whiskeys--along with a few soft drinks and some snacks.
There is a chessboard, a dart board, newspaper boxes for both the AM Daily and The Green Slab, and a top ten table.
There's an achievement, Achievement: Whiskey Connoisseur, for buying one of every whiskey here.
The Troll's Head bar
The Troll's Head bar is located in the Shades, on Romeo Street. It requires a password (written on a wall nearby) to get in, and anyone under a certain guild level will be attacked upon entering. It sells "drink" (ale).
There is a dart board here, and Jak the weapons fence is in the alcove south of the bar.
The Wall View tavern
The Wall View tavern is located on Long Wall, northeast of Hide Park. It sells food and ale.
The Warriors' Guild cafe
The Warriors' Guild cafe is located in the old Warrior's Guild on Heroes Street. It sells non-alcoholic drinks, cakes, and buns.
This used to be a major idlechasing location, but is so no longer.
The Weapons Masters' Court's bar
The Weapons Masters' Court's bar is located in the entrance of the Weapon Masters' Court guild house on Vagabond Street. It sells a few types of plain alcohol.
You can hire mercenaries here.
Woonsocket's Delicatessen
Woonsocket's Delicatessen is located on Edgeway Road, southeast of Rimwards Gate. It sells sandwiches, made to order.
Wun Phul Mouth's Hunghungese Restaurant
Wun Phul Mouth's Hunghungese Restaurant is located in Little Agatea, just off of Whopping Street. It sells various Hunghungese meals.