Doctors
Doctors are Very Special People who might be able to help you out with certain physical ailments, such as broken legs, arms and missing noses. There's also Igorinas and Igors that can perform similar services.
If you have a broken leg, the least painful way to reach a doctor is by direct portal, and you will be unable to cast one yourself while incapacitated.
- Witches can, if asked nicely, splint your legs without needing a visit to a doctor.
- Failing that, witches with portalling skills, an appropriate blorp and scrolls might be able to help you by flying to you (if outside) and casting a portal.
- More generally, contacting a member of one of the transport clubs (such as Taxi or Limo) is another option.
- Please note that if you are being passaged to the doctor instead of using a portal, you'll need to be following the priest and standing up (not crawling), otherwise you'll be left behind.
To have your legs set or your nose reattached, say 'please set my legs' or 'please fix my nose'.
To replace a nose lost in some kind of... unfortunate accident you can purchase a prosthetic nose at Who Nose.
Some doctors might have a medical mannequin to allow practising medical skills.
Contents
Ankh-Morpork
Dr 'Dr Mr MD' Nimgimmer
The Thieves' Guild doctor is three west, one north from the entrance of the Thieves' Guild, which is two west from the street.
- He sets legs for &&&&&&&&&&&+2000 AM$5.00.
- If both of the patient's legs are broken, he'll fix them both for &&&&&&&&&&&+2000 AM$5.00.
- He will also heal injured thieves a bit (about 250 hp), but there's a minute-long wait before one can ask to be healed again.
- Nimgimmer speaks Morporkian and Thieves' Cant.
Help here suggests:
say heal me please say please set my legs
Rham-tim-phoon
Rham-tim-phoon is on the upper floor of the Flintwick Building on Lobbin Clout in south-eastern Morpork.
- He sets legs for &&&&&&&&&&&+2000 AM$5.00 each.
- Rham-tim-phoon speaks Morporkian and Djelian.
Help here suggests:
say please set my legs
Rham-tim-phoon has also obtained a medical mannequin which can help train some medical skills for a small donation each time.
Igor (watch)
This Igor can be found in his laboratory in the basement of the Pseudopolis Yard Watch House.
- He reattaches noses.
- Igor speaks Morporkian only.
- He will pursue and try to arrest you if you are wanted by the watch, like watchmen.
Help here suggests:
donate 5 dollars say please fix my nose
Igor (dark classy bar)
This Igor is set up in a side room of the dark classy bar in the Cattle District.
He receives donations of blood, to be used in his research on immortality and to provide for the drinks of the bar.
- Donators receive &&&&&&&&&&&+2000 A$5.
- Donating blood gives a stat effect of -2 constitution for about 15 minutes.
- You can only donate once every 24 roundworld hours.
- Donating 10 times gives the Achievement: Bled And Fed.
- He speaks Morporkian and responds to Uberwaldean.
Igor (Fiveways Belltower)
This Igor can remove and attach limbs that had gone a bit quantum. He may provide this service if people ask him nicely. When he asks if you have too many or too few limbs you should say to "please fix me".
- He can fix broken limbs, missing legs, arms, ears or noses.
- He charges less if you have your limb with you (or a human limb from a convenient donor). Otherwise you have to pay more.
- He charges some reasonable amount in AM dollars. To reattach an arm in good condition he charged only a penny.
From outside the tower, do not climb. You need to go: north,northeast,northwest,move slab,down.
You say: fix me please Igor exclaims with an Uberwaldean accent: We have the technology! We can rebuild you! Igor looks appraisingly at you. Igor loudly says with an Uberwaldean accent: I think I can give you a hand, ash it were, Player. Igor reaches out and pinches you on the neck. Everything goes black. Igor loudly exclaims with an Uberwaldean accent: Well, your armsh sheem to be fine! Igor loudly says with an Uberwaldean accent: Well, your legsh are all right. You are unconscious. Igor says with an Uberwaldean accent: At leasht you've shtill got your noshe. Igor says with an Uberwaldean accent: You are lucky I put you to shleep! Thish might tingle. Somewhere in the distance, you feel that your limb problem has gone away. You feel thaumic energy leaving your body. Igor slaps you hard in the face. You regain consciousness.
Bes-Pelargic
No Pa Een
No Pa Een's Acupuncture Parlour is on Onetwolong Avenue in southwestern Bes Pelargic.
- He will fix broken legs for &&&&&&&&&&&+4000 8Rh 40s.
- No Pa Een speaks Agatean and Morporkian.
Djelibeybi
Rham-Pat Phoon
Rham-Pat Phoon is in a stall in the northwestern corner of the east bazaar in Djelibeybi.
- He sets legs and reattaches missing noses for &&&&&&&&&&&+1000 DjToon 5.00 each.
- He can also fix broken thumbs (fee?).
- Rham-tim-phoon speaks Djelian, and can understand Ephebian and Klatchian.
Ohulan Cutash
There is a false doctor there who does not help with... anything.
- He speaks Morporkian.
- If you lie down on his operating table you won't be able to do anything while the doctor harms you, causing a temporary -1 constitution stat damage for about 10 minutes, while making you scream and gibber madly for a while after the "operation".
Ephebe
Rham-Taht-Phoon
Rham-Taht-Phoon is in the temple of Glaxos on the east side of the harbour market.
- He sets legs and reattaches missing noses.
- He sells first aid kits of various sizes.
- He speaks at least Ephebian.
Igorina
Igorina is in her spotless workroom at the south end of Petulia avenue in Ephebe.
- She should help people with missing bits and she can provide the missing bits from her vats if you lost yours.
- She fixes noses.
- She uses analgesic to prevent pain, this makes you unconscious during the operation and after for several minutes.
- She speaks Ephebian with an Uberwaldean accent.
- She responds to morporkian, uberwaldean, ephebian and djelian. She does not respond to brindisian and agatean.
Medical mannequin
This dummy allows practising healing skills without needing new materials or wounded people.
There is one at doctor Rham-tim-phoon's place in the Flintwick building in south-east Ankh-Morpork.
To practise bandage the syntax is:
bandage {left|right} {arm|leg|foot|hand|shoulder|hip} {of|on} {mannequin|dummy}
bandage {neck|head|abdomen|back|chest|pelvis} {of|on} {mannequin|dummy}
This costs &&&&&&&&&&&&+100 A$0.25 each time and gives a chance to tm crafts.medicine.firstaid.
To practise the physical aspects of splint the syntax is:
splint {left|right} leg {of|on} {mannequin|dummy}
This costs &&&&&&&&&&&&+160 A$0.40 each time and gives a chance to tm crafts.medicine.treatment.injury.
Note that you must remove the dressings from the dummy before trying that method on that area again.
remove dressings from {mannequin|dummy}
This takes a bit of time and is spammy since it removes each bandage/splint on the dummy separately.
