Dead letter office jobs

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Ankh-Morpork Post Office by Quow
This page is about a source of missions / jobs.

Dead letter office jobs will have you acting as an unofficial postal employee for the Ankh-Morpork Post Office, delivering letters to citizens near and far (at your discretion).

The Job

To see what the kind of letters there are, you can check pigeonholes for a brief list. One can also read pigeonholes for a verbose listing, though it provides no additional information.

You can pick a type of letter from those listed on the pigeonholes to offer to deliver <letter code>, ex. offer to deliver dlc

When the addressee is found, you can deliver letter to <npc>.

Inquiring

When you take on a mission to deliver a letter with a vague address, or only the city, you can inquire after addressee to find out more information. This is a skill check that uses the relevant people.culture skill for the area.

Mission Bonus for odds of success
Range ~ 0% ~ 50% Nearly always
Vague address ? 153 193
Only the city ? ? 239
  • Inquiring will tell you the type of npc (actor, monk, etc.) if the letter is not clear on that.
  • The appropriate npcs have the distinctive traits at the end of their description when you look at them.
  • The range to get bearing on the target is around 12-20 rooms away.
  • Most of the time the direction given will be (pure) south if you're not more than 2 east or west from the destination. It seems likely that rooms with opposite directions (say you need to go north and then later south to reach the target) cancel each other.
  • Paths to the target in a straight line with no intersections seem to extend the range somewhat.
  • The furthest range categories are often considerably shorter than the number of rooms in the table. This might be because of some kind of neighbourhood limits.
Message: that your target Meaning
isn't in the neighbourhood Beyond detection
was spotted in the <direction> a while back 12 to 16+ rooms away
was spotted in the <direction> not too long ago 9-15 rooms away
was spotted in the <direction> recently 3-8 rooms away
was spotted very close by not a moment ago 0-2 rooms away
met a brutal end Target dead
You find the language barrier to be insurmountable You need to speak <appropriate language> for the area

Vague address is easier in several ways:

  • An intersection is indicated.
  • If you are further away than ~17 rooms from the intersection inquire just says you are too far. (This might be fixed neighbourhood boundaries.)
  • The bonus needed is lower than for letters with only the city. (At least before the latest changes, need to confirm.)

Deciphering

The address of the letters with terrible handwriting has been quite obfuscated.

  • They can be deciphered with the command decipher handwriting on letter.
  • This is a skill check that uses crafts.arts.calligraphy and costs 40 GP.

Rewards

Method Abbreviation Mission XP reward Monetary reward Time given
Missing letters DLA Close by; smudged address 12800 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+2600 A$6.50 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Deciphering DLB Close by; terrible handwriting 25600 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+5200 A$13 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLC Close by; vague address 24128 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+4800 A$12 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLD Close by; only the city 47823 XP &&&&&&&&&&+10000 A$25 45 DW min / 13.5 RW min
Missing letters DLE Far away; smudged address 25600 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+4500 A$11.25 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Deciphering DLF Far away; terrible handwriting 27456 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+6000 A$15 &&&&&&&&&&&+5472 LC 3|2|- 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLG Far away; vague address 33440 XP &&&&&&&&&&&+7200 A$18 30 DW min / 9 RW min
Inquiring DLH Far away; only the city 50064 XP &&&&&&&&&&+10080 21Rh 45 DW min / 13.5 RW min
Surviving DLI Difficult customer varies varies 200 DW min - 3.33 DW hour / 1 RW hour (Thursday/Librarian)

Notes

Times listed with DW (Discworld) units above are in Roundworld minutes, times listed with RW (RoundWorld) units use earth conventional times.

The money you receive as payment is usually in the currency used in the location where the recipient happens to be when the letter is delivered.

If you lose the letter and would like to get another without waiting for the delivery time to expire, tell Frank that you would like to quit. You will still need to wait the ten Roundworld minutes before he will give you another one.

You cannot deliver while it is too dark for you to see the recipient.

Close-By

The npcs close-by for smudged address and terrible handwriting should be in the following table. If not please add them.

NPC Location
Maximiliam Dimlith Green Lumpy Bit, outside a plilosophical looking building
Mr Graves The premesis of Grangrid, Graves, and Descendants, Chrononhotonthologos Street
Del Trotter Caveat Emptorium, Trotters Lane
Ella Montigue Shop on n-w corner of Dolly Sisters
Gladys Bob's Fish Shoppe, Street of Cunning Artificers,
Goran Ankh Bridge Imports, Ankh-Morpork
Hibiscus Dunelm The Mended Drum, Filigree Street
Isobel Kingdom Academy of Artificers, Sto Lat
Kernab Kernab's Weaponry Store, Treacle Street
Master Nimbledrit Master Nimbledrit's shop of Crafting Equipment, Ettercap Street
Miss Ha'penny Offices in the middle of Speedwell Street, first set s-w of Ankh Morpork Council building
Mrs Dimmles Mrs Dimmles' Open-All-Hours cafe, Dimwell Street
Mrs Dodger Pseudopolis Yard Watch House
Nathan The Curio Shop, Artorollo Alley, Ankh-Morpork
Omar Amah Omar Amahl's jewellery shop, Cabbage Street
Paul Zombo Guard Room, Sto Lat
Reg Shoe Mrs Cake's house, Elm Street (Fresh Start Club, Elm Street on Thursdays at midnight)
Rinaldo The Mouldy Cellar, Chrononhotonthologos Street
Roger Patrician's Palace, north of the Flame Board
Sergeant Skyler Long Wall Watch House
Count Notfarouto The Fresh Start Club, Elm Street. (Doesn't spawn there, might have to go at a meeting time)
Doctor Bones Monk's Hospital, The Pitts
Murgatroyd Listey Souvenir Shop, Humble Street
Felicity Hopkinson Dwarf Bread Museum, Whirligig Alley, Ankh-Morpork
Dame Sufferland The Salt Shaker, Upper Broadway, Ankh-Morpork
Rimpog [An attendant] Wizard Outpost [Raising Chamber], Sto Plains [Near Pekan Ford]
William de Worde Printing Works, The Ankh-Morpork Times, Gleam Street, Ankh-Morpork
Starspirit Moonfire Krazzander's Magik Shoppe, Cockbill Street, Ankh-Morpork
David Wobbler Artorollo Alley, Ankh-Morpork
Mr Cropper The Print Shop, Pseudopolist Yard, Isle of the Gods
Pierre Grepe Vino pour la Femme et le Homme, God’s Collar
Madame Dawning Madame Dawning’s Palliaments, One Pseudopolis Yard
Apold Blorkman West Ankh Ferry

DLA: Close by; smudged address

Some letters in the address are missing. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLB: Close by; terrible handwriting

See #Deciphering. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLC: Close by; vague address

See #Inquiring.

DLD: Close by; only the city

See #Inquiring.

Far Away

The npcs far away for smudged address and terrible handwriting should be in the following table. If not please add them.

NPC Location
Lobsang Private quarters of the abbot, Temple of the Listening Monks
David Leatherman Leatherworking stall, Genua
Abe Graveyard, Unnamed Town
Peggy Little Quilting shop, Slice
Gammer Nudity Mad Gammer Nudity's cottage, Razorback
Embezile Thatcher Lancre Town, Lancrastian Farmers' Cooperative Bank
Hanlo Shepston The Forge, Bad Ass
Honest Dachshund [Frank Doberman] Slippery Hollow
Ann Celeria Slippery Hollow Stationery Shop
Temple Guardian Temple of Soyin
Aggressive Pixie (Water Sprite) Near Razorback (Sprite Cavern)
Brittnee Brittnee's Message Tees, Genua
Trau Mirnicht Escrow (tent in fair)
Gerard de Wendelle Evening Dress Shop, Wall Street, Sto Lat
Cohen the Barbarian Barbarian Camp
Khip-en-dahl Queen Ptraci furniture shop, Djelibeybi
Pugh Alighieri Alcohol Shop, Djelibeybi

DLE: Far away; smudged address

Some letters in the address are missing. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLF: Far away; terrible handwriting

See #Deciphering. See the npc table at the beginning of this section.

DLG: Far away; vague address

See #Inquiring.

DLH: Far away; only the city

See #Inquiring.

DLI: Difficult customer

Difficult customers generally attack on sight or are very hard to reach.

NPC Exp Coins Location
Triad Boss Bes Pelargic, Medina
The Grflx 48160 &&&&&&&&&&+10000 A$25.00 Skund Forest, Large cave
Vyrt 35280 &&&&&&&&&&&+7104 S37|0de Ephebe
Spawns at A seafood-scented edge of the Harbour Market [s,w,nw,se,sw].
Avalanche Preventore
(large metallic dragon)
96000 &&&&&&&&&&+20000 A$50.00 Endless Halls (say 'Endless Halls' to Hermal of Sandelfon)
The Librarian 60000 Starts in the Unseen University, wanders (in L-space)
Smuggler captain 48000 &&&&&&&&&&&+9600 1M|0de Ephebe underground
Queen Shelox 56784 &&&&&&&&&&+12000 A$30.00 Gloomy Forest
The Clown (Ha'pennywise) 111360 &&&&&&&&&&+22500 7,5,0Gf Genua Sewers
Ice giants 96320 &&&&&&&&&&+20000 A$50.00 The Hub
Also found in the icefields surrounding the hub - which is safer for wizards and easier to recover corpses from due to the lack of background thaums.
T-shop proprietor 64000 &&&&&&&&&&+14400 1M S25|0de The Travelling shop
Bug 68640 &&&&&&&&&&+13536 LC 7|10|- Ramtops
Thursday 102959 &&&&&&&&&&+20640 43Rh A Deserted Island (Thursday's Island)
Hotan Hwoar Ni 48160 &&&&&&&&&&+12040 25Rh 10s Bes Pelargic, Sum Bing, The Snail, Hotan Hwoar Ni's Rare Armours
"Be On Your Guard" : A bug that made it possible to slip past the guarding NPCs in the Snail has been fixed.
Security guards 21924 &&&&&&&&&&&+4380 9Rh 15s Bes Pelargic, First Imperial Bank

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