Dead letter office jobs

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This page is about a source of missions / jobs.

Start the job

To start the job, offer to help in the dead letter office of the main AM post office.

You will be given a choice of difficulties:

Frank says: How much of a challenge do you want?  I can give you a letter for someone local, close-by, far away or for someone in a distant land.  Or if you want a real challenge then ask me about difficult customers.

Rewards

If you do two delivery missions of the same level of difficulty back to back, the xp reward is halved for the second one.

  • 'Local' has 15 minutes to deliver the letter, and gives a reward of 8000 xp and &&&&&&&&&&&+1600 A$4.00 in money.
  • 'Close by' has 3 hours to deliver the letter, and gives a reward of 16000 xp and &&&&&&&&&&&+3200 A$8.00 in money.
  • 'Far away' has 3 hours and 20 minutes to deliver the letter, and gives a reward of 36000 xp and &&&&&&&&&&&+8000 A$20.00 in money.
  • 'Distant land' has 10 hours to deliver the letter, and gives a reward of 64000 xp and &&&&&&&&&&+12800 A$32.00 in money.
  • 'Difficult customers' has 6 days and 16 hours to deliver the letter, and gives a reward of 180000 xp and &&&&&&&&&&+36000 A$90.00 in money. Warning: it could be dangerous!

Notes

Times listed above are in the Disc temporal reality.

The money you receive as payment is usually in the currency used in the location where the recipient happens to be when the letter is delivered.

If you don't want to deliver the letter Frank gave to you, give it back to him; however, you will need to wait ten Roundworld minutes before you can attempt another delivery.

If you lose the letter and would like to get another without waiting for the delivery time to expire, tell Frank that you would like to quit. You will still need to wait the ten Roundworld minutes before he will give you another one.

Local

Local NPCs are found in Ankh-Morpork and are stationary.

NPC Location
Benno Lacoste Ankh-Morpork, Prouts, Wine Warehouse
Bertha Ankh-Morpork, God Street
Bligh Earcrusher Ankh-Morpork, Park Street, Bligh Earcrusher's exclusive shop
Ella Montigue Ankh-Morpork, Dolly Sisters,
Gladys Ankh-Morpork, The Street of Cunning Artificers, Bob's Fish Shoppe
Ham Burgner Ankh-Morpork, The Maul, Burgner's Coffee on the Maul
Jacinthe Bockxse Ankh-Morpork, Ankh Street, Batchev's World of Maps
Kurr Ency Ankh-Morpork, The Pitts, The Coin Corner
Luciano Flabbarotti Ankh-Morpork, Pseudopolis Yard, The Stab in the Back
Madame Gumble Ankh-Morpork, Cockbill Street, Madame Gumble's Jewellery
Manuel Fawlty Ankh-Morpork, God Street, The Curry Gardens
Master Nimbledrit Ankh-Morpork, Ettercap Street, Master Nimbledrit's Shop of Crafting Equipment
Mo Astor Ankh-Morpork, Cattle District, Baron Street, Frenly Money Changerz
Monsieur Rosset Ankh-Morpork, Pseudopolis Yard ,Monsieur Rosset's Hairdressing Salon
Mr Vitiolo Ankh-Morpork, Brookless Lane, Calligraphy shop
Mrs. Armitage Ankh-Morpork, Loom Alley, Embroidery Shop
Mrs. Dodger Ankh-Morpork, Isle of the Gods, Pseudopolis Yard Watch House
Murgatroyd Listey Ankh-Morpork, Humble Street, Souvenir Shop
Ptom Psmith Ankh-Morpork, East Ankh Ferry,
Rinaldo Ankh-Morpork, The Mouldy Cellar
Sandra Ankh-Morpork, Lower Broadway, Guild of Playwrights
Sergeant Skyler Ankh-Morpork, Ankh-Morpork City Watch, Long Wall Watch House
Shapaya Ankh-Morpork, Apartment on Grunefair
Spanky Ankh-Morpork, God's Collar, Armourer
Thom Crooze Ankh-Morpork, Pseudopolis Yard, All Bar None
Too Bath Salts Ankh-Morpork, Little Agatea, "Bes Pelargic", Laundry House
Veebeel Ankh-Morpork, The Street of Cunning Artificers, Veebeel's fortune telling booth
Wiley Woonsocket Ankh-Morpork, Edgeway Road, Woonsocket's Delicatessen
Onna Hitokui Ankh-Morpork, Upper Broadway, The Salt Shaker

Close-by

Close-by NPCs are located in Ankh-Morpork or another nearby town, and usually move.

NPC Location
Arnold Sideways Ankh-Morpork
Cripple Wa Ankh-Morpork, Fish Dock
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler Ankh-Morpork
Duck Man Ankh-Morpork
Francis with his ukulele of pain Ankh-Morpork
Gok'wan Ankh-Morpork
Gritjaw Thighsplitter Ankh-Morpork, Dwarf District
Hobbling Tim Ankh-Morpork, Sheer Street
Hoff Buchannon Ankh-Morpork
Jocasta Wiggs Ankh-Morpork
Louis Bingham Ankh-Morpork
Maple Bede Ankh-Morpork
Maude Scowd Ankh-Morpork
Mellie Thistlewhistle Ankh-Morpork
Mr Pin Ankh-Morpork
Mr Tulip Ankh-Morpork
Neelie Awkside Ankh-Morpork
Nobby Nobbs Ankh-Morpork, Ankh-Morpork City Watch
Old Wilfred Ankh-Morpork
Prodo Laggins Ankh-Morpork
Ronnie Soak Ankh-Morpork
Sacharissa Cripslock Ankh-Morpork, Ankh-Morpork City Watch
Sergeant Colon Ankh-Morpork, Ankh-Morpork City Watch
Sneed Finkman Ankh-Morpork
The LAG Ankh-Morpork
The Weasel Ankh-Morpork
Salan Feiht Ankh-Morpork
Alberto Malich Death's Domain
Aloysius Habenpfeifer Hillshire, Tobacco Shop
Ruby Holy Wood, The Blue Lias
I don't know his name but he's pretty old and gnarled ....se find him Nowhere Nowhere
Sue Pekan Pekan Ford, Country Store
Tom Pekan Pekan Ford, Village Pub
Hughoc Gatewood Scrogden
Valentino Sheepridge, Valentino's Flower Stall
Findel Nordelsson Sto Lat, Heritage Hill, Souvenir Shop
Fleppo Sto Lat, Bathrobe shop, Royal Market
Gerard de Wendelle Sto Lat, Wall Street, Gerard de Wendelle's evening dress shop
Gerti Kotzbeck Sto Lat, Blueberry Lane, Gerti's Cake shop
Holly Cloverfield Sto Lat, Royal Market, The Rock-A-Rama jewellery shop
Jack Straw Sto Lat, Garlic Grove
Madam Miliena Sto Lat, Garlic Grove, Olde Locket Shoppe
Master Gildworthy Sto Lat, Academy of Artificers
Miss Armitage Sto Lat, Queens Road
Miss Wylde Sto Lat, Queens Road, Wylde's Fashionable Ladies Wear
Mrs Willikins-Boydle Sto Lat, Queens Road
Mysteria della Noctis Sto Lat, Queen's Road, The Dragon Emporium
Nils Beerman Sto Lat, Cabbage Street, Nils Beerman's Light Store
Oncle Hamash Sto Lat, Frozen Alley, Oncle Hamash Bookshop
Paul Zombo Sto Lat, King's Road, Guard Room
Peter Periwinkle Sto Lat, Hill Street, Pet Shop
Quinbury Soames Sto Lat, Quirm Street, Stationer's Shop
Ragman Sto Lat, Grave's Hope
The Proprietor (blacksmith) Sto Lat, The Royal Market Smithy

Far away

Far away NPCs are generally stationary.

NPC Location
Cern Smith Bad Ass
Granny Weatherwax Bad Ass
Gulta Smith Bad Ass
Hanlo Shepston Bad Ass, The Forge
Jaims Smith Bad Ass
Mrs Smith Bad Ass
Kev Ogg / Mr. Ogg Bad Ass, Forge
Martha Headlock Bad Ass
Cohen the Barbarian Barbarian camp
Allen Kingfisher Blackglass, Blackglass smithy
Morchella Esculenta Blackglass, Undead Defence Shop
Emile Bois, pub
Fern Golly Brass Neck, Brightly coloured (toy) stall
Virgo Vango Brass Neck
Granville Brass Neck, Village Shop
The Proprietor Brown Islands, Souvenir Shop
Scuttle Me Own Canoe Dihbl / SMOC Dihbl Calh-Nhad
Dia Shale Creel Springs
Esther Elderbury Creel Springs
DEATH Death's realm
Dil the Embalmer Djelibeybi, Embalmers' guild
Khip-en-dahl Djelibeybi, A Queen Ptraci furniture shop
Master Bibh-Lat Djelibeybi, Phoenix Road, Silversmith
Merk Djelibeybi, Phoenix Road, Merk's Mephit Messengers
Ptep-ptip-ptop Djelibeybi, Pottery shop, Tsort Road
Ptik-ptak-ptoe Djelibybi, Hourglass shop
Pugh Alighieri Djelibeybi, Sickle Street, Alcohol shop
Teh-takk-eht Djelibeybi, Temple street
Toohumi Djelibeybi, Market Street, Toohumi's Illuminations
Ug Ogg Djelibeybi, Guards
Wan-tew-iit Djelibeybi, barracks' kitchen
Arms trader Djelibeybi Harbour
Awaiting-Rain Djelibeybi Harbour
Captain Ptargos Brazen Mermaid, Djelibeybi Harbour
Fis'n-tsips Djelibeybi Harbour
One of them dibbler with the ?
(May-I-be-Dipped-in-My-Own-Grease Dih-bah-lah)
Djelibeybi Harbour
Abraxas Ephebe, Rational Road
Ania Ephebe, Logical Lane, the Flaming Ram's Skull Club
Arimasticopoulous the Mosaicist Ephebe, Rational Street Alleyway
Aurinax Ephebe, Antithesis lane, jewellery repair shop
Betty Ephebe, Morporkian Tearoom (tea shop close to the Bing bank)
Endos the Listener Ephebe, Antithesis Lane
Kakia Ephebe, Logical Lane, the Flaming Ram's Skull Club
Klepton Ephebe, Ponder Alley
Maintenance man Ephebe, Citadel
Master Zosimos Ephebe, Paradox Avenue, A murky little shop
Rimasticopoulous the Mosaicist Ephebe, Rational Street Alleyway
Souvlakios Ephebe, Tuvelpit Road
The owner Ephebe, Market Taverna
Xenophobios Ephebe, Logical Lane, Amaryllis' Taverna
Clara Escrow, chandelers' shop
Ema Nymton Escrow, fair
Ivor von Kaeyya Escrow, The Count's Seat, Briar Way
SMOH Dybbler Escrow, Mother Dybbler Potion Shop
Trau Mirnicht Escrow, fair
Verkauft Keinfleisch Escrow, The Meat Pie Shoppe, Garlic Way
A generic Charre Bux employee Genua, Charre Bux Coffee House
Ayna Genua, The Magick Boxe
Blloddwyn Genua, 'Y Crochan Ddu'
Brittnee Genua, Savannah Road
Captain Merreaux Vingian Genua, Musketeers
Cogsworth Genua, Cogsworth's Clocks
David Leatherman Genua, Marketplace
Edna Scum Genua, Pirate Avenue, Scum Bar
Fredd S'Vage Genua, Calypso Street, The Baron's Hand
Harbour mistress Genua, underground docks
Hotel Receptionist Genua, Hotel
Jolly Roger Genua, Pirate Avenue, pirate shop
Mamie Olivia Genua, Dead Man's Walk
Mr Ra Genua, Tacticus Academy
Mr. Myrtle Genua, Silver Bells Silversmiths
Mrs. Gogol Genua, Marketplace
Spritz Peltanque Genua, The Resting Zombie
Talula Genua, Talula's Titillating Toys
The Harbour Master Genua, Office near docks
The shopkeeper Genua, Chandlery in Genua Avenue
The sno-ball vendor Genua, Lovers' Walk
The tipster Genua, Lady Brook Street, racecourse, grimy bar
Thom Cru'ez Genua, Barracks
Watch clerk Genua, Watch House
Wounded soldier Genua, Barracks
Private Inside Leg Klatchian Foreign Legion outpost storage tent
Bestiality Carter Lancre Town
Brother Turbil Lancre Town, lodging house
Embezile Thatcher Lancre Town, Lancrastian Farmers' Cooperative Bank
J. Ogg Lancre Town, forge
giant leader land of the giants
Len Mad Stoat, Looney Len's Pottery Shop
Nicholas Winston Mad Stoat, Winston Puppets
Serb Unglish Mad Stoat
Sharn Unglish Mad Stoat
Maggie Mad Stoat (beside pond)
Our Wullie Mad Wolf, The Hunter's Head
Stephan Mad Wolf, Mad Wolf Furriers
Young Steven Mad Wolf, The Hunter's Head
Suhm-wil-deih Oasis, Fig Stall (tent in the southwest part of the Oasis)
Vic Ohulan Cutash, Vic's tannery
Twoflower the tourist Ohulan-Cutash, Fiddler's Riddle
Abbot Lobsang Ramtops, Listening Monks Temple
Brother Hotpot Ramtops, Listening Monks Temple
Brother Asap Ramtops, Monks of Cool temple
Sister Bi-Bi Effenne Ramtops, Monks of Cool temple
Sister Ti-Ti Effenne Ramtops, Monks of Cool temple
Heinz Blauhimmel Razorback, village shop
Lichtenstein Razorback, The Inn
Mad Gammer Nudity Razorback
Candice Little Slice, Quilter shop
Cleetus Patterson Slice, General shop
Granma Muckloe Slice
Peggy Little Slice
A maitre d' Sto Lat, The Hammered Cat
Fleppo Sto Lat, Bathrobe Shop
Isobel Kingdom Sto Lat, Academy of Artificers
71-hour Ahmed Tacticum (get El Kinte Caravan from Djelibeybi)
Temple Guardian Temple of Soyin
Fione mac Feegle Uberwald (Pictsie Barrows)
Abe Unnamed town, graveyard, Uberwald
Innkeeper Unnamed town, Uberwald
Spiegal Unnamed town, Ye Olde Weapons Shoppe, Uberwald

Distant land

Distant land NPC all move. Use the bold part of their name for seeking. Sometimes there is more than one NPC with the same seeking name. In that case, another NPC with the same name might be targeted instead, or you will not be able to see the one you want at all. This is especially true (but not always true) if the one you are seeking is dead.

NPC Location
Boy Willie Bes Pelargic, The Agatean Empire
Disembowel-Meself-Honourably Dibhala Bes Pelargic
Glod-san Bes Pelargic
Laggy-san Bes Pelargic, The Agatean Empire
Lon Fah Lo Bes Pelargic (if dead when sought, Him Hung Lo will be targeted instead)
Mad Hamish Bes Pelargic (always in the red triangle)
No Go Wan Bes Pelargic, usually in west half of city (if dead when sought, other Wans will be targeted instead)
Quisoda Bes Pelargic
Ruto of Fish Bes Pelargic, underwater in a shipwreck
Ryattenoki Bes Pelargic
Shi Do Gai Bes Pelargic, usually in Tuna Walk
Lap-lip Djelibeybi
Lip-phon Lap-top Djelibeybi
Mihk-gran-bohp Djelibeybi
Phos-phor Djelibeybi (moves around very quickly)
Very Reverend Khepresh Djelibeybi (but likely to be found elsewhere with other players)
Yclept Djelibeybi (in the park)
Tuffy Escrow
Casanunda Genua
Greig Schwitz Genua
Noobie Genua
Tfat Chick Genua (but cannot be scried if chicks have spawned)
Cut Me Own Hand Off Dhblah (Mr CMOHO Dhblah) Oasis
Miss Pennie Laced Ohulan Cutash
Berti Boggis Skund Forest, Pekan Ford
The Proprietor A ferry shop, Counterweight Continent (Bes Pelargic, Tuna Walk / Brown Islands)

Difficult customers

Difficult customers generally attack on sight or are very hard to reach.

Letters are limited, probably a maximum of 3-5 letters (possibly only 2) can be in circulation at any point. This means that if you log out with a letter, that's less one letter that can be delivered. If you got your hands on a letter and the target is dead, while it's entirely up to you, it might be better to hand it right back to Frank and wait that 10 minutes to get another letter rather than holding it till the NPC spawn. Certain NPCs like the smuggler captain or Triad Boss are almost always dead due to being hotspots. Please don't log out with difficult letters. You're making it hard for other fellow letter couriers.

NPC Location
Triad Boss Medina, Bes Pelargic
The Grflx Grflx Caves
Vyrt Ephebe
Avalanche Preventore (large metallic dragon) Endless Halls (say 'Endless Halls' to Hermal of Sandelfon)
The Librarian Starts in the Unseen University, wanders (in L-space)
Smuggler captain Ephebe underground
Queen Shelox Gloomy Forest
The Clown (Ha'pennywise) Genua Sewers
Ice giants The Hub
T-shop proprietor The Travelling shop
Bug Ramtops
Thursday A Deserted Island(Thursday's Island)
Hotan Hwoar Ni Bes Pelargic, Snail
Security guards Bes Pelargic, First Imperial Bank