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Ankh-Morpork, Ankh-Morpork, the city so good they called it Ankh-Morpork.

Features of Ankh-Morpork

  • The Mended Drum
  • The Palace, where you can create clubs and families, and read the non-guild boards
  • The Dysk, where you can watch plays written by players or write your own
  • The Apothecary Gardens, where you can join Pishe, buy more lives, or simply swim around
  • A real estate agency where you can bid to rent a house or shop
  • Offices for both in-game Newspapers, where you can buy papers or do reporter/editor activites
  • Two vaults where you can store your items--Nella's south of the Plaza of Broken Moons, and Jonas's in the north part of the city, somewhat east of centre, on The Ridings
  • The Shades, where you can get your weapons stolen and your throat slit

Ankh-Morpork also has a place for each guild:

Crime and Punishment

  • Ankh-Morpork Council rules
  • Theft by non-thieves is punished by Thieves Guild heavies (npcs) with escalating punishments for repeated offenses.
    • Going to jail for stealing does not clear the pending punishment from the Thieves Guild heavies the next time they recognize you.
  • Witches singing the Hedgehog Song get prosecuted by the musicians' guild enforcer who does not refrain from corporal punishment including making you pass out, broken legs and contracts with the Guild of Assassins.
  • Various other things are punishable by the Watch if you are seen doing them. (Watchmen will pursue you and tell you to surrender/give up and then attack you after a short wait. You can "give up", at which point you're sent to jail for a time (which varies based on what you did and how much), then let out.) See below.
  • You can also turn yourself in at the main hall of Pseudopolis Yard.
Charge[1] Achieved by Jail time[2]
resisting arrest not giving up soon enough when they try to arrest you 3-4 minutes
insulting an officer of the Watch Repeatedly using certain souls on a watchman. Souls include: moon, poke, slap 5 minutes
molestation / molesting a <gender> officer of the watch / molesting a <gender> watch officer / molesting a watch officer See the "felt the force" achievement 5 minutes
vandalism / malicious vandalism of a valuable public service tearing down a Wanted poster or throwing things at street lights 8 minutes
fighting in public / obstructing an officer of the Watch in the execution of his or her duty by fighting in public fighting an npc in front of a watchman for too long 8 minutes
impersonating a watchman / wearing the official badge of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch despite not being employed by aforementioned organisation wearing an AMCW badge[3] 8 minutes
bribery / attempting to bribe an Officer of the Watch trying to give money to a watchman (or using the "bribe" soul), repeatedly[4] 8 minutes
public miming / miming in front of an officer of the Watch using the "mime" soul 16 minutes
attacking an officer of the Watch / assaulting an officer of the Watch and disturbing him or her in the execution of his or her duty attacking a watchman 16 minutes
murder / the murder of <npc name> killing an npc 16 minutes
killing an officer of the Watch presumably, killing a watchman where another one can see you  ?
jailbreaking lockpicking your way out of a cell  ?
assisting in a jailbreak / manipulating property of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch with the intent of breaking convicted criminals out of jail lockpicking a cell from the outside, regardless of whether anyone is in it 8 minutes
unlicensed theft stealing without a license  ?
assaulting a public servant  ?  ?
attempted murder  ?  ?

While the jail time stacks to some degree (so that, for example, two counts of miming will get you twice as much time as only one count), it appears that you can only be sentenced to up to 3 hours and 20 minutes Disc time (an hour real time) at once.

You can bail yourself or someone else out. This costs $25, plus an additional $25 for every 16-17 minutes (or 5 minutes in real time) remaining on the sentence.

See also


  1. The name of the charge can vary depending on whether it's being said by an officer trying to arrest you, told to you when you're thrown in jail, or on a wanted poster, and possibly based on other factors as well.
  2. In Disc time.
  3. If you're still wearing the badge when you're thrown in jail, it will be confiscated and not returned.
  4. They warn you twice before trying to arrest you. They reject the give offers.

External Links